My conclusion to the whole debate is thus:
If a person is separated from the Lord, we need to intercede for and plead with that person to come to the Lord.
If a person who has been walking with the Lord falls away from the Lord, we need to intercede for and plead with that person to repent and return to the Lord.
These are Biblical principles and commands.
It is not for us to determine "the called," "the chosen," whatever else or even if there is such a thing.
Unless the Lord reveals something specific to you about a specific person, the separation of the wheat from the chaff is His job, not ours.