Gemstone777

George, There's so much good stuff in this post! I would give a detailed response, but I think I might write a book, lol.....too many thoughts! Let me just say there are things I'm reminded of that were much needed. Even some that I've forwarded on to others that were struggling in certain areas. This is a really good post started long ago, and I hope some of the newer members can read over it too. I think there's so much in here that it would most certainly help everyone, or spur them on in their walks. Have a blessed day! Your sister in the Lord, Gem

George, There's so much good stuff in this post! I would give a detailed response, but I think I might write a book, lol.....too many thoughts! Let me just say there are things I'm reminded of that were much needed. Even some that I've forwarded on to others that were struggling in certain areas. This is a really good post started long ago, and I hope some of the newer members can read over it too. I think there's so much in here that it would most certainly help everyone, or spur them on in their walks. Have a blessed day! Your sister in the Lord, Gem

Praying for you both Due & Wayne! God bonds us through our suffering! (((Hugs))) Love in Christ, Gem

Due, We should start a club, CCS (Compassionate Chronic Sufferers!) I'm sorry to hear that your lumbar fusion didn't help, but made the pain worse. That can be so disheartening when we think something is going to improve our lives only to make it worse. Pain is such a crazy thing because it not only affects us physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Chronic illness is a huge test of faith and can be spiritual warfare. To stand strong in the midst of suffering and praise Jesus takes great faith! It's also hard not to get depressed/discouraged when things are not the way we desire them to be. It sounds as if you have learned that too...only by the grace of God can we carry on! I look forward to more chats with you also! Have a blessed day! (((Hugs))) In Christian love, Gem

JTC, I am so sorry to hear of all these difficult things you are going through. It's always hard when you lose that person you could go to about anything and everything. Mine was my mother, and she was my best friend. She passed at 51 of breast cancer, when I was in my late 20s. I can say looking back that it grew me closer to God because I didn't have her to go to anymore. Loneliness can be disheartening and painful! I have had 17 years of chronic health issues and at times have had seasons of being confined mostly to my bed. My longest bout of being bedridden took me from a social butterfly to almost a hermit of sorts. It was a deep pit to come out of. We were created for relationships, even Jesus had them. That desire (to have friends) is not wrong, and I encourage you to commit that to prayer and watch the good Lord bring some new friendships into your life! The girl I disciple is a young ER nurse and she is introverted. We started praying for Christian friends, and the Lord sent her a best friend that she was least expecting. Also another friend had a lot of friends that weren't Christians and we prayed for them to find Christian friends and God blessed them with many. It sounds as if Ray is a friend, so that's good you have him. Maybe God has him in your life so that you can share your faith with him and be the one that leads him to the Lord. God can change hearts! You said this is like your church, and I can relate to that. There is great fellowship, prayer, iron sharpening iron and more that goes on here. I've been blessed in the last 2 months that I've been a part of this to meet and befriend some truly amazing people! God is good and provides things we need when we least expect it! I'm sorry that you are in pain and having troubles sleeping! I will pray that God heals you and that you can get some rest. (((Hugs))) In Christian love, Gem

Hi Harry's Girl! I'm sorry to hear that your heart is hurting, (((Hugs)))! I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I do hear the pain and longing in your heart, and I can pray for God to comfort you. I did lose my mom in my late 20s, have been unable to have children, and have had 17 years of chronic illnesses. Sometimes life is just plain hard. My chronic health issues had left me bedridden at times which created isolation and loneliness. It turned this social butterfly into a hermit practically! But God lifted me up out of that pit. I still struggle with chronic health issues, but He has given me a purpose in spite of them. I do know that God is the only one that can truly bring healing to any of us. Psalm 9:9-10 The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you Lord have never forsaken those who seek you. I've been keeping a list of my favorite Bible verses by topic. When I am struggling in a specific area I read over all of the verses to help comfort me with God's own words. Some verses that could help with loneliness are: Isaiah 4:10, Matthew 28:20, 2 Timothy 4:16-17, Lamentations 3:22-24, Jeremiah 31:3, & Philippians 1:6. Feel free to look those up and maybe add some of your favorites if you'd like. As far as the guys are concerned, rejection plain hurts. It's very unfortunate that so many were not in it for the long haul. But, in a way it's good that you've weeded out the ones that are not dedicated and would not treat you the way you desire. I had a friend once that was in and out of bad relationships. They committed a year to focus solely on pursuing God and that they wouldn't date anyone. When they did that, they became closer with God and focused on Him and His purpose for their life. During that year they met someone, but wouldn't date them until the year was up. They eventually got married and now have 2 kids. You never know what God's purpose is during this time of loneliness. God has never left you, cause he tells us that He won't in His word. Hebrews 13:5 I will never leave you nor forsake you. Something I have learned is to not base my decisions on my feelings. Our feelings can be misguided and lead us astray. Sometimes I have to choose to believe what the Bible says to be true even though it may not feel like it at the moment. Also, God longs to give us the desires of our hearts as long as they align with His plan for our lives and His timing. Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. I encourage you to keep pouring your heart out to the Lord. Sometimes we see God answer our prayers quickly and other times it takes awhile. Part of that is us learning to trust God and releasing control to Him. Prayers that your heart will stop hurting and you will have peace! (((Hugs))) ~ Gem

Hi Jesica! I appreciate that at a young age you desire to serve God and you want the church to be all that it can be! It's nice to have brothers/sisters with like mindedness to walk beside us and spur us on while we are doing ministry here on Earth. Most of us know there is no perfect church because they are made up of us imperfect humans. However, since church is for edification of the saints, it is an important decision to find a local church body that we will belong to. Some questions I consider when looking for a church: 1) Is this a church that teaches God's Word and me/my family will be regularly fed? 2) Is this a church that cares for souls of the body (discipleship, ministers to widows/fatherless, etc.)? 3) Is there a place for me to use my spiritual gifts and serve? 4) Is this church fulfilling the Great Commission? 5) Is this where God is leading me to be? Some things that are flags indicating this is not a church for me: 1) I leave service without getting anything out of it, no spiritual insight. 2) If a church is unfriendly, cliquish, respector of persons (looking down on the lowly), etc. 3) Teaching heresy, biblical untruths. 4) Unhealthy or unstable church, (disunity, no leadership/not qualified leadership/unrepentant sin in leadership, financial problems, etc.) I also think in the times in which we are living it's sometimes hard to find the church our soul desires. The things that are not what they should be can be very difficult to process and deal with. I would encourage you to lift up all these concerns to the Lord. Pray for the other young people that upset you by their lack of desire to serve God, that He would change their hearts. Try to lead by example and show them how to honor the Lord. Ask God to lead you where He wants you. Many blessings to you, Gem

Hi James! It's good for you to consider these things before making the commitment of marriage because that is a covenant relationship that you make before our holy God. That's not something to take lightly. If you are having doubts, the best thing to do is to pray to God for clarity and be faithful daily in talking to Him about your concerns. It's a little confusing that you think your girlfriend is great, but your mom doesn't approve of her, yet has never met her. It appears you may have said some things about your girlfriend to your mom that negatively influenced her opinion of your girlfriend, since she has never met her. You may want to ask yourself some tough questions and see if you also have a problem with your girlfriend's depression, arguments with her parents, and that she's not a strong decision maker, and then give honest answers. There's an old saying, "Love is blind," and sometimes when you are in "love" you don't always see clearly the things you need to. After a year or so of dating someone you can usually get a pretty good feel of who that person is. It's important for you to ask yourself if you can live with the negative aspects of your girlfriend if she doesn't change or improve. Everyone comes into a relationship with strengths and weaknesses because we are all imperfect. If you are looking for a perfect person, you will never find one. You have to determine if you can live with her weaknesses even if she doesn't improve, or if they get worse. Marriage that honors God is for the long haul. Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. It's never good to go into a marriage thinking you can change someone. You need to accept them as they are just as Christ does with us. As others have said here, it's most important to know that God approves of this relationship, even over your mother. Mothers are not all created equal, but the majority have at least some care for their children and want what's best for them. Is your mom just looking out for your best interest, or is she overtly critical judging someone she has never met? I do see a potential problem because if your mom refuses to meet her/doesn't like her, and they don't get along, it could make for a lot of heartache in the future. These are all things that you need to consider. Two things that stood out to me is that you said your girlfriend had strong faith and she encouraged you. Those both are so very important in a relationship! You don't want to be unequally yoked, and you want a spouse that lifts you up. If you decide to proceed with your relationship it's important for you to talk about things that will effect your future (spiritual matters, where you want to live, do you both wants kids, finances, and your goals/dreams for your life.) The purpose of dating/courting is to get to know the person better and lead to marriage. If you find yourself in a place where you can't see marrying this girl, then you should let her go as kindly as possible. You don't want to play with other people's emotions, as you wouldn't want that done to you. If after all this processing and praying you feel led by God to pursue your girlfriend, then you may want to pray that God would change/soften your mum's heart towards her. You definitely want to be respectful of your mum, but you are now a man and will have to make decisions for yourself. Ephesians 5:31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Prayers that you will make a wise decision and find peace in this matter. In Christian love, Gem

Hi DueUnoHim! Cute name! I have only been here about 2 months and I have found many that have chronic illnesses. Although I am not glad that so many others suffer, you are right, it does help to know that others understand what we go through. I have found that others who do struggle can be a great source of encouragement. I've also met some very compassionate souls that don't struggle with health problems, but are very loving, caring, and empathetic. I created a private Invisible Disabilities & Chronic Health support group on Facebook 5 years ago. We have over 100 people on it. I started it for the same reason you made this post. Sometimes people in the mainstream don't understand the daily struggles. I have had 17 years of chronic illnesses. A lot of them are auto immune like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Epstein Barr Virus, Fibromyalgia, Psoriasis, etc. I also have a lot of female issues Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, Endometriosis, Hidradenitis Supperativa, etc. I just found out this year I have a new diagnosis of Asthma to go with my other issues of allergies, chronic Bronchitis, chronic Sinusitis, and chronic Pneumonia. Then I have the heart issues of high BP and an enlarged heart. I'm sure there's something I forgot, lol, but you get the gist. I would love to chat with you! Feel free to send me a private message any time. I would like to hear your story. Have a blessed day! Always, Gem

I've never heard of that, but if it helps/works, I think it's great! Glad she's been able to find some relief!

Life seems to always throw some kind of stress on us doesn't it. Sometimes Psoriasis, or other illnesses are the stressors, lol! Thank you for the prayers and your concern for me! I truly do appreciate it! ~ Gem

Hi Cobalt! Thanks for your response! After having 2 separate beauticians at different shops tell me they thought I had Scalp Psoriasis, I went to a Dermatologist. He diagnosed me with Scalp Psoriasis. He gave me this $500 prescription spray that thankfully my insurance covered fully. I used it for months, but it did not work. I also used the over counter tar-based shampoos he recommended (Nuetrogena T-Sal, etc.), and they did not work either. I also tried Head and Shoulders Anti Itch that's supposed to be good for Psoriasis, but it only helps a little. I've tried Bath & Body's therapeutic shampoos, Puritan's Pride Psoriasis shampoos, Wal-Marts Psoriasis shampoos,) and none of them have worked. I have tried a few Tea Tree Oil based shampoos, and they didn't work. I'm thinking about trying coconut oil next. I have not seen my Dermatologist in awhile because he is out of network, and it's over $100 just for an office visit, plus his recommendations weren't working. I actually have some dry skin, patchy areas on my arms that I believe may be Psoriasis too. Whatever this is, it is like having a permanent case of poison ivy or what I imagine a permanent case of lice would feel like, and it's driving me a little buggy! lol Thanks for your help, and if I find a new Dermatologist in network, I will ask him if he/she thinks it's Scalp Psoriasis or Seborrhea. Thanks for your help and time! Have a blessed day! ~ Gem

Joni, I tried tea tree oil, but not coconut oil. It's one I've been considering, so this may be reaffirmation that I need to try it. Thanks for the suggestion and taking the time to help! Have a blessed day! ~ Gem

Hi every1! I have had Scalp Psoriasis for the last few years. I've tried expensive prescription treatments, several shampoos, natural remedies, and nothing has worked to provide relief. I also have some other auto immune and chronic health issues (CFS, Fibromyalgia, HS, etc.) Was just wondering if anyone here has Psoriasis, and if you or someone you know has a successful treatment to help minimalize the symptoms, or cure it. Thanks in advance for your help! ~ Gem

BK1110, I'm sorry to hear that you are lonely. It's hard for people with poor health to make/keep friends. Not everyone wants to visit the sick cause it makes them sad. Or, they don't want to sit around and just talk, put a puzzle together, watch a movie or the things that the chronically ill are able to do. Add into that we live in a very busy world that can be self focused which can create loneliness. I've had 17 years of chronic health issues and at times have been bed ridden, unable to leave my home for months at a time. It took me from a social butterfly to practically a hermit. I wanted you to know that you are not alone, and I empathize with your challenges! I really admire you reaching out to someone else that is hurting when you have your own struggles. Keep up the good work! Blessings, Gem