Figure of eighty

I disagree. I took my question elsewhere and another person from another country said they had a similar vision abt the violence in America getting worse. Racism is americas greatest sin imo.

Right.

Very true. I have a bunch of online friends but in person ones are needed.

No. Youre a very nice person. Idk why op would call you evil thats really rude and wrong.

Disclaimer-- For those that don't believe God can communicate through dreams then dont bother replying. ( I wasnt watching anything horror related or creepy. I dont take meds so they arent messing with my dreams). * Race will be mentioned* please do not be overly sensitive I need a good eye and unbiased one just for the message of this dream** -------------- So this is how it began. The racism got much much worse here in America. I was in targets I went with my family and we decide go in and something changed no one could shop as normal and people started going crazy and trying to terrorize folks themselve. So anyone that was different couldnt buy anything. When i got out of the targets with my bag some man that happened to be white took my bag away and said i couldnt shop here bc of my color. Then i overheard another guy who was of jewish orgin said. They did the same to me and spit on me and the same happened to a Hispanic lady and she started arguing with the guy then left. I argued as well and the. Me and the guy got into a physical altercation with me then the dream switch. I was with my baby and some other people we were in a place like being held hostage and had torturers. So across from me I saw one guy who seemed to have a plan to harm himself to cause sympathy in those doing this to us. It worked for a bit as people were surprised but they got over it. Then the lead gave some speech I dont remember. So those of us who had babies he wanted us to execute them. It was weird there were little tests like practice with bread and some other items first... When everyone did the practice they all pulled their children away and I went away with my baby and prayed I asked God to save me from this and take my baby and thats when I woke up.

I totally hear u. I never engage in politics on Christian forums i honestly dont know why a political section would exist on a christian forum.

Lol it wont be a bad part of town lol i probably am going over board but i just feel so vulnerable with a baby.

Im pretty sure ill be safe. Im not planning to live in the projects or a halfway house. Whereever i go will be safe all of this is for my own peace of mind. As I said before, Im a small lady and Ill have a son and be on my own so Id be such an easy target and I just dont want to give anyone a chance.

Definitely planned to do that b4 i left.

Yeah..my plan is to move by feb so id like to be on meds, do the whole self defense thing and own a timy small gun by then.

So i was thinking about a list of self defense items for when i move by myself. Just wondering how much is too much. So here is my list-- In addition to having a dog and alarm. I want to get pepper spray/mace, a taser, a little necklace that alert authorities ( i can see myself wearing this when Im out with my baby alone as he is an arm baby) And ofc a gun...but a small one. This isnt too much is it? I ran it by my friend and he said its good to take precaution

Wow. Bless your kind heart. Loneliness is the absolute worst feeling.

Yeah thats what i thought. I shouldve asked her how much th3 motel room was but then.. I dont know peoples situation and dont want to be rude.

Wow that is so clever! I need to have that handy too. Gift cards are neat.

So i went to the store today and a lady was begging bc she needed money for a hotel. I told her i only had 5 bucks and she said anything would help and im thinking of you need to get into a hotel youd need more than 5 bucks. Idk. I mean i dont mind doing it bc Im going to get paid again but i just wonder if how tell when people are in need or trying to dupe you.

Well my car was totaled. It was rhe only car... Just got a rental but parents just it to go every which way. Work and stuff... So i dont have much time to go to church or find a counselor or anything. Im struggling bad with my ocd and baby and work. Im so slow my biss said i was performing at 40% even though Im going as fast as I can. I have a lot of worry

True. Uhg im pretty scared to be doing all this while planning to move. Uhg.

Dang. Guess i have to see a psych then. I have medicaid.

I know about that. I just wish I could go back in time to get back what i lost. Even moving fwd im not who i used to be. Cant take back what I did and it makes me depressed. Its really hitting me hard tonight. Everything i did wrong. Just feel a bit lost.

Thank you all. Ill try to put these in practice.

Okay. Thank you for your reply. Also like i was saying to a friend i know meds would help but im afraid of my anxiety worsening or not having enough money to pay for them and going cold turkey... I hate the guinea pig stage.

Finally have a pcp close to me ..can they prescribe ocd meds or would a counselor or therapist have to do it ? Im feeling panic wash over me and just wishing i was dead and mad Im not. Im trying to hold on.. Idk tommorow is Sat udk if my pcp is open then I wish i were sane but im not. Why doesnt god let me die? Why cant i just get in an accident and die.? Why?why?why? Im tired of struggling mentally .. I have no purpose I wish hed just take me for gods sake

Faith. Its such a gift not to doubt.

I feel ive made so many mistakes and just messed myself up. Messed my integrity and feel so ugly.. I want to go back to who I used to be but feel Im too ruined for that.

Since im working and get decent pay a move out date is now set and im very scared. Im afraid to live alone with my baby bc i feel i cant protect him. Ive thought about owning a gun which im thinking about more and more and will most likely get one that and a dog. Not sure if a small watch dog will do or if i should get an attack dog like a doberman or something. Idk im just really afraid but i need to move. I cant stay with my parents forever and they wont live forever. As a matter of fact my parents were involved in a bad accident tonight ..theyre alright thank goodness but that proves my point.