Willow

Hi Everyone, There has been some talk lately regarding being single and what singleness entails. Can we really be happy single?....Can I be a fulfilled individual living my life without getting married?.....How do I know it is God's will that I should be married? I would like this to be a discussion where the end result is encouragement. We all feel emotions and loneliness. I know married people who feel lonely. It just seems that every once in a while we need to discuss this topic to clear the air in people's lives, help them refocus. This is just as much for our younger members as it is for us....more well seasoned in age members ******************* So I will start things off....I am 28, never had a boy friend, never kissed a guy, never held hands outside of the preacher saying "take the hand of the person next to you and let us bow our heads and pray". I have had close encounters, when I thought something would happen......but I did something odd.....I kept my mouth shut and prayed "God, if this is something you want me to be involved in, he must make the move. I will not". Surprise surprise.....no move. I struggle with loneliness.....I struggle with everything down to 'Is it my perfume?"...do I shower? Maybe I have a strange twitch when I talk and don't even know it..... It really has nothing to do with it. No I don't suffer from a bad twitch and I take forever to choose the right perfume. I am soooo fun too! (humbleness is a great quality to eh? ). I truly believe he just hasn't entered my physical world yet. Or to make it more complicated.....what if I am never to marry at all?? We get so caught up in this.....so caught up. Does it occur to anyone (myself included) that everyday we ought to ask God "what can I do for you today Lord?" In what part of that statement did that include "God....I want a boyfriend....Lord, I am really lonely......When's it MY turn....?" Maybe, just for a change I could get up one morning, ignore the enemy saying to me that MY needs aren't being met (which is a load of garbage) and say "Lord, my time, my life, my resources are yours again today. Show me what to do with them". So would we really think that a heart totally bent on serving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and asking daily to be in God's will.....that He wouldn't honor that and meet even a basic need like companionship? Does He want and entire world of singles?? I HIGHLY doubt that. *************** So what are your thoughts? Questions? I suggested in another thread reading the book from Elizabeth Elliot called Passion and Purity. Maybe those of you who can get a copy we could read it all sort of at the same time and discuss it....or at least inject thoughts from it as you read. Let's have a higher call to purity and encourage each other in our struggles. Blessings, Willow

I love weather and nature related things, just not when the wreak so much havoc on people and cities. Where I live on the coast, there is an area which the ground is very silty and soft. It is a wonder they have built anything on it. Just south of our local international airport and even the ground the airport itself is on. Anyone living more inland will find they have ocean front property if there was ever a hug earthquake here.... Some have even said lately that Mt. Baker is becoming more active. I can see Mt. Baker on the way home. About a 4 hour drive from me.....scary.

my church is too big....they didn't list our names but I remember that day since it was the last service the youth pastor at the time would be doing any baptisms before going to another church 4 Provinces away. He was a very influential person in my life. I knew after the year I had just had with God that if I didn't get baptized now, I would never be as serious about serving God and making hard choices relating to my faith. Oh Happy day! When Jesus washed my sins away! -Wills

I remember the time of year. I was 5 years old....it was that winter (since my birthday is in April)......mom and dad had company over. They had been talking about God and when I went up to bed, I sat on my bed and looked outside at the snow. I thought about God and how he must be real....he had shown me things, even at that age. So I asked him to come into my heart. I felt very very excited and happy after that. I made so much noise that mom came up to check on me and see what I was up to. When I told her she was ecstatic!! That was 23 years ago..... But I do remember when I was baptized....that I wasn't so quick to do. January 29th, 1995

Yes, women used to do that so they could tie their corsets (sp?) closer together to have the appearance of a smaller waste. This was damaging to their insides and one of the reasons many died baring children. The issue of the rib and if we have one more that the man or not or whatever, I don't think that was what God was trying to convey. He took one rib from man....so that woman was a part of him. God could have engineered another human - identical and different enough to be exactly like Eve finally was. He didn't have to cause Adam to sleep, perform a rib extraction and then build Eve from it. The point was to have one from the other. A sense in ones spirit that you are the match for that person. Another way to be 'one' and unified since there was no previous history they could draw from. They were it. God was all about unity. The act of creating Eve was purposeful, and having part of Adam as part of her blueprints was a statement of God's design - that we are for each other. Eve was to be a suitable helpmate. Not other combinations we have people try and tell us in this day and age Just a thought.............

Thanks Keith. Can I be embarrassed for the Canadian side since I live about 20 minutes away from where this actually happened? grrr....... Why does this kind of thing have to happen. Praise God he is bigger and this didn't go unnoticed. God bless, Willow

Hi Yomo, I haven't been around much lately, but I saw your post and I had to reply. I am an only child as well. Growing up there didn't seem to be much of a restriction on what I could or couldn't watch. I had mostly Christian friends and my parents weren't big movie people to begin with. But years back, they took me to see one particular movie that was filled with swearing...and violence for that matter. They made it a point after that, that if a movie had even one God swear, even one, that the movie was never played again in our house. Over the years that grew to be as soon as we heard one God swear, we turned the movie off right then and there, or changed the channel. Now it is hard to find a movie that is clean. Looking at language and content it makes for some interesting limited choices as to what to watch out there. It has gotten so bad that I know certain actors characteristically do things in all of their movies and if I know that they are in it, I won't go and see it. It took me a lot longer than my parents to come around to agreeing with them over this. Where do you begin to draw a line? When is it okay or not okay. Would you watch that movie with Jesus sitting next to you? I am 28 years old - and I want to keep the small circle of friends I have too. But even in my circle of Christian friends, there are some who will still buy movies that have swearing in it. Even though the movie is 'okay' one doesn't off set another. Don't be afraid to stand up and say - I won't watch this because of _______ (insert reason here). It is okay and your RIGHT. You wouldn't enjoy something knowing you were forcing it upon someone else in the room would you? Then why should you be forced to sit through a movie you don't want to be seeing? It....is.....only....a.....movie. If your friends can't respect a decision you make, why should you value their opinion? Don't let your eyes, ears, and mind be open to something you don't want. If it comes to being bored, bring a purse or carry bag along somewhere with something inside to do. I did that a few times. I had a magazine and a note book and made notes for myself of crafts, projects, shopping lists I would do later. One time I had a sketch book with me. I have a really nice drawing of a rose.... You don't have to watch a movie in order to relate to someone. There are so many levels to relate to other people. Bless you. Glad you shared here Willow

I am going to grab my bible and see if I can jot some down for you. But let me tell you this..... ........I know exactly what you mean and what you sound like you are going thru. I have had for years, pain from a mom and dad (no siblings) that do the same thing to me. They are getting more in touch with God as Christians......but I have years, my whole life really, of scars to deal with. Actually for God to deal with. I can't heal myself. That is one thing to remember - you cannot heal yourself. You can certainly take steps to help yourself, but God has to do that inner healing. You know, the place deep inside where nobody else sees the hurt done to your heart, spirit, self esteem, self worth, and self image. The things that hurt how you look at yourself, and in turn how you treat yourself and how others can treat you. No you don't have to be a doormat. You do have to honor your mother and father, and family. LOL my friend once told me that the verse that speaks of honouring your parents, it also mentions that you will live a long life? or a long life will be granted to you?......I will find it. Anyways, she said if that was the case, I have stored up enough years on this earth to rival Methuselah (he lived 969 years ) LOLOLOL There is a book called Boundaries. Here is a link to see about it. It covers more things that I can talk about.....I highly recommend it. Boundaries book I am walking this road right now with you. As we speak.....like today I had to deal with more of it. The thing is.....I am realizing as painful as it is for me, and as much as I love and honour them, I can honour people and still not talk to them. I can honor someone and still not be around them. Honouring comes in many forms......like not back talking about them and all they do to you. Now if you have a spouse or someone you trust, of course you can share for support and encouragement, but you can still choose how you say it, not to protect them necessarily, but that what is coming out of your mouth is true, unexagerated, and not slanderous. It is possible and like I said, I am learning this too. I will run and grab my bible and get some verses for you. But in the meantime, just keep praying the Lord's grace in helping you. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Willow

What does it take?? Everything we have!! Now that I have scared you, let me explain..... Have you heard of Jesus? He is God's son. Only son. He was perfect when he came here on earth. Meaning he never sinned. Only a perfect sacrifice can be offered to clear the debt - or in mankind's case - sin, in order to spend eternity with God. We are sinful creatures. God is perfect. The two cannot occupy the same space. Here on earth, we are sinful - in heaven, there is no sin. So, God sent Jesus to come and live on the earth, and then, to die here, for us. And it wasn't just any death, it was a painful death - at the hands of men, who didn't believe what he claimed to be and what he stood for. Because He is perfect, he could be that sacrifice for us, and save us from hell and eternal separation from God.

My dad was listening to David Jeremiah on the radio the other day. He quoted a poem I think and one of the topics was "Do you dare to trust God?" How many of life's situations do we all face that we say - "Oh God I trust you with everything" - then when the trail and tribulation hits......you cry out to God and wonder if he heard you. What does trust look like? What is it about trust we find so hard? If we don't have problem accepting the theologies of God.....we have trouble applying them. It is all in the application of what we know or believe. If someone studied to become a doctor and passed everything with flying colours but never actually practiced what he knew......does that make him a doctor? Did all those years and tests and hard work mean anything? Do any of the tests and trails of life you come thru mean anything? You have made it thru them and now you face another one......will you put your trust and faith in God's ability to get you thru? Was all the pain just something you went thru because that is life, or can you apply something you learned from it in a positive way and turn some of it for good? Where and when is it a good time to trust God? Mom asked me this the other day when dad told her about this trust thing on the radio. Since we are going thru a very hard family time, she asked me if there are conditions to trusting God...certain situations.......My response - trust in every situation, and especially the hard ones. So my challenge to you all is, whatever you are facing today, in the next few weeks.....months......do you trust God? I dare you....... Be not like the Israelites in the desert - who wandered around for 40 years aimlessly, who saw the salvation and deliverance from bondage and still muttered and grumbled. They crossed the Jordan and heard that some of the inhabitants in the land were bigger than them........yet they had seen manna from heaven, water from a rock, a pillar of fire lead them, the Red Sea parted......did they not trust God could deliver them from giants? how many miracles will we ignore before we accept and trust in God?? I dare you to trust in him.......when your world is falling apart, when things seem hopeless, when things are too much.....but one suggestion. Try trusting Him before things get that bad!

Being from Canada I hope you don't mind me answering! Christians are persecuted. It does look at times completely different then countries like the one Seraph referenced to. Here, we are considered intellectual. We have everything (relatively speaking) material wise, every comfort, luxury, and it seems that our basic dependence in God is jeopardized because we can go out and buy or somehow obtain everything we need at a drive in, convenience everything store. Our society has found no dependence on God. I know I know - you need to believe in God to depend on him. But think about these 3rd world countries. Many parts of these countries literally have NOTHING. Where would you look in such a case? Turning to something higher than yourself to make it through each and everyday would make sense. It means there is still a hope. A reason to get up in the morning and get through your miserable life. And that is exactly what Jesus taught us - that there is hope. Look thru the book of Job. In one swoop everything material was taken away from him, even his kids. He had nothing - even his health was taken away. Yet, he had hope that the God of the universe was still there, and was still worth praising and had a plan or reason for the current situation he was in. He trusted him. Like I said - our society has made it that we depend on nothing or nobody. The persecution comes from people being offended that we tell them there is only one way to see their eternity. And that with that, comes things here on earth we should not tolerate. Here is an example. A University here in Canada is privately funded. It is well know as a Christian University, which is one of the leaders in Teaching, Humanities, Theology, Science, Music...... and when you register - you sign an agreement. In essence, this agreement is a Holiness agreement. Things like not having premarital sex, and others which include no drugs etc. There was a huge uproar about the no pre-mar sex policy. Groups fought and even took this to the highest Supreme Court in Canada because they said they were being discriminatory. Well......they are privately funded. Even in the name implies where they are going with their beliefs... when you go - you know what you are signing up for. There is nothing hidden. So why all the outrage? Go to another school! We do have quite a few! There were scores and scores of people petitioning and arguing against this school. Not quite on par with being arrested and tortured for your faith - but here that is pretty big. We get flipped off, yelled at, spit at, beaten up, shot at, abused, graffitied on personal property, etc. But I can say that sometimes, yes, some believers have provoked it. We need to know how to reach out in love to people - even in the face of adversity and trial, not attack and lash out. How can anyone tell the difference that Christ as we say lives in us if we don't demonstrate the supposed effects of having him live in us. When I was in elementary school, we read the bible every morning. The kids were asked to stand up and read. And I went to a public school! By the time grade 7 rolled around, the teachers were given the choice to read or no - but the trend had started. 2 years later no bible reading. Soon after the Lord's prayer was taken out. Slowly, very slowly, God is being removed from the fabric of society. All in the name of religious tolerance. Tolerance for everything else - but Christianity. The only religion that says there is ONE way to Christ and ONE way to be forgiven. In this world they say there are no absolutes. Since Believer's say there is an absolute (regarding your soul) we are discriminated against. There is an oxymoron - I can tolerate anything except intolerance. Oppression - having excessive or unfair burdens imposed burdened psychologically or mentally, laden with grief Not sure if I expressed myself well there......maybe more thoughts later.... Wills

My mom was here when I was posting and she wants me to tell you something....... .....no matter how much of a failure you think you are, compared to the smartest people or richest people (pick someone famous and successfull), you are more of a success then someone who has gained the whole world, yet lost their own soul. Whatever condition you find yourself in at the moment, compared to the people who think they have everything, they one day will find that they have nothing. All the money in the world cannot buy salvation. Whereas you have made correctly the only decision worth making in this world. Jesus died to save mankind, he would have died just for you. That is how precious you are to God. :hug: :il: :hug:

((((((((((((((((Oak)))))))))))))))))) You know what is great about the boards that doesn't happen in chat? You have the opportunity to sit back and read!!!! You don't have to try and keep up with the sometimes insanely fast pace of chat!!! And guess what? Your past isn't your future. Look at Paul in the bible for crying out loud! Persecuting Christians to death. Then he is going to be a spokesman for Christ? Now there is a story for ya! We can learn alot from you, even if you don't think so. And your barely a Christian faith can be encouraged and you can grow, see changes in your life and mind set that you never thought possible. Please - if you have a question about something - start your own topic. Rules of that thread - KEEP IT SIMPLE! or Pm someone you see here who you think you could trust. If God said even a child can understand what salvation means, the gospel has layers to understand. Don't worry about the layers you don't get.....scratch away at the ones you do...or that are closer to your understanding. God will give you more as you grow! please stay. Chat, post, or pm. We welcome you. We would love to help you. Blessings, Will

K - that is soooo wierd. That is my nickname too (well one of many) and I am allergic to peanuts as well! LOL one of my nicknames for my mom is mo (pronounced Moe). And cause she calls me peanut, I call her mommy-nut. One other thing is whenever I call her and she says hello - I say "hi-it's me" Mom always says now - cause I run it together - "Hello s'me" Peanut and S'me. hmmm.....better than some of the other ones I got from other people growing up!

I was 5 years old. My parents had a bible study downstairs in there home. I heard the adults talking about God. So I decided as I went upstairs that I would go into my room and sit on my bed and pray. I remember looking outside and seeing the snow. It looked very white and peaceful outside. And I said the prayer. I remember actually feeling different. I remember that I wanted to do this alone - not have mom or dad there. I think even then I was trying to establish that I had my own walk with God - and I didn'y need to hold mommy or daddy's hand! I was so excited I started jumping up and down on my bed, but then stopped remembering there was still company downstairs. I sat quietly in the dark until they had all left and when my mom came upstairs I told her I had Jesus. She was soooooooooo excited! Later on, around the age of 9, I prayed the prayer again. I think because the meaning of salvation had deepened for me and I came to a new level of understanding of what it meant.

Boy am I glad I found this today!! This is EXACTLY what I have been walking through.....well....my whole life. Today has been a good day generally except for my parents (please see prayer request forum if you are curious). Today I am all fought out....I often think to times of war like the 1st or 2nd WW and to the soldiers who, month after month, year after year, grew tired being out on the field. You know.....however equipped you may be in armour - armour doesn't always speak to how a person is inside. How tired of fighting are they. That is where I am at. The fight itself I can handle.....with the Lord OF COURSE, it is the day after day after day after day after day. I truely didn't realize you have to warfare everyday. I knew you should pray and stand in the gap for people, but warfare? goodness. I don't want to give up. I just want it to be over. There is a difference. BUT!!! Don't mistake me from my post. I want to fight and I want to be victorious. I don't want to give up - I am just tired......I long for the day of peace to settle upon the camp. To go and collect the spoils from the war and start fresh and new.

There is a lot of things - I would say miscommunication or bad communication that contributes to a lot of issues here. You think someone means one thing and they don't, you take something one way-and they didn't mean it that way......and on and on. Sometimes leaving is necessary. Sometimes a break is necessary. And sometimes.....we may have just allowed the enemy to have the biggest speaking voice in our heads. One thing I do know......how many posts a day do you - each one examine your posts - and when do you do them. Seriously, in the name of ministry, how much time has been sacrificed from God to be on here posting away??? I am pointing the finger directly at myself before any of you. My point is - are we balanced? Are we really spending time with God before Worthy? or should I say - does our time with God meet or exceed our time at Worthy? See Worthy is about God. Worthy is a means for spreading the gospel for and of Jesus. But it cannot substitue for our own time with God. Otherwise we will have nothing to give out to help others if we have first not spent time with our Lord. I am not saying these good folks did that. But I am thinking we all need to re-evaluate what we do, why we do it, and how can we improve it. See - Worthy Ministries is all of you guys!!! It is everyone coming together, working together. We are a church - we are a family. The family is hurt right now. And someday, in heaven, none of anything is going to matter except for what we did for Christ! The guy who swore at me cause I didn't turn left fast enough the other day, the way I did my hair, if I got my files at work all filed......none of that will matter unless it directly involved what I did for Christ! I posted this elsewhere and I will for you guys too........the default we should use - is to always be quick to think the best, speak the best, trust, speak in love and faith and encouraging words about someone else. We should investigate serious issues - without being easily offended. We need to maintain separation from the world in the area of trust. The worlds way is to mistrust and look for things - dig to find the good, the bad and the ugly. Notice in that phrase it is 2-1. Bad/Ugly vs good. The world is always out to keep those odds. We need to upset that balance. There were some issues people......and since I don't know most of history or deep rooted issue in the heart....I can't comment. I don't know where of I speak. But some hurts could have been avoided, had there been a better communication of misunderstandings - and a serious work to resolving them. That and maybe a little less of people erring on the side of conspiracy that just not being in the loop as much as they would like. So - I am sad to see these ones go. And let this be a lesson for you all: do not let the sun go down upon your anger. If you have an issue - be nice, and resolve it in a Godly manner. Work towards peace always. I see Jesus as like the ultimate UN peace keeper - except he would never compromise truth to keep peace. Eat peace, sleep peace, dream peace, pray for peace. God grant us all mercy and grace in dealing with each other. I love you all dearly. I know many of you don't know me - since I am usually on the chat side of things. But had I never found the boards - I would never have found chat. Took me forever to decide I would go in and have a look-see!!!! LOL This place is a dear place for me to be. I hope you all will see it that way too and help all of us take good care of it. :hug: Willow

Okay ROFL Just to confuse you more??? I heard a pastor that says even when reading the bible....there should be order, since our God is not one of disorder. But, many of the books in the bible are not chronological in time written, compared to the way they are layed out. You can't look at every book as chapter 1,2,3 etc. So he recommends - new Christian or not, to read the book of 1 John. I love this book. There is so much PACKED into it. Then start in Matthew and go forward through the New Testement. Since we are under a new covenant since Christ came and died - it is good to see what is NOW. Then going back through the Old Testement will be like a history lesson....to see where we came from. Hope that helps! PS - Throw in Proverbs there anytime - it is a good book for anytime!

Oh my dear Cats, you sound like my mom. She has Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia and she feels on 'fire' a lot. You understand then what I am going thru trying to help my parents move when my mom feels like this and my dad works. I am carrying the load... only difference between you and my mom is that she does have many bouts of suicidal tendancies. The thing that stops her is because she doesn't know where she will go if she does it. I understand the term "mind-numbing pain"....it dulls the senses or hightens them beyond dealing with them, and you forget what it was like before the pain. My mom takes Talwins (note my medicine spelling my stink). The are supposed to be a good (but addictive) pain killer. She has sleeping pills to help her sleep as the pain often prevents her from getting more than 2-3 hours sleep at a time. We are still in the process of trying to get her diagnosed as well. She used to be very active and now she can barely walk to the bathroom. As far as any woman troubles, she usually is fine, however, she has severe intestinal and stomach problems. I will go home tonight Cats and talk with her about things when she was at the doctors. She is having troubles like you, finding the issues, Canadian doctors don't have a clue so far either - you aren't unique in this with US doctors. Dear sister I will pray for you as I pray for mom. I hate to see her suffer as she does and you sound so similar. If I can be of help in any way, I will post what I find. Maybe take comfort in you aren't alone in your pain. My mom knows....and so does God. Apparently in the world, widely accepted there are 39 diseases from which all strains and variations of our modern day diseases come from. Interesting that Jesus took 39 lashes for us. Claim one for your healing Cats. Jesus knows suffering. :hug: :il: :hug: Willow

hmmm......it is God's will that none should suffer.....however is it in his plan? I think this is part of God working all things together for good. I don't want to take away hope for healing. Could you imagine? He would make headlines again!!! They would show pictures of him losing him feet.....then a picture of him shoe shopping 15 years later....... come on!!! WOWOWOWOW But!!! Only God can see the present course he is on.....will more glory be brought to Jesus with him healed or not? Our present sufferings are nothing compared to the eternal paradise we will live in. No pain, no suffering. So, hope for the best. Love hopes all things, endures all things, love never fails. Love your friend enough to say "Lord, Thy will be done, but I also hope that will include full restoration for my friends body" It is not wrong to hope, it would be wrong to get mad when you think God isn't doing anything. God is sustaining him daily through his life as it is now. That is something. We must hope for the best, pray for the best, and praise the Lord no matter what. just my 2 canadian cents worth :hug: Wills

The only thing I remember of Spanish from my trip to Mexico 9 years ago! :x: Actually, I hope to learn Spanish from a lady I work with who grew up in Mexico city. She is a great teacher of the language.

Dr. Phil has some great advice. But maybe he gets too Hollywood on people sometimes. You can't blanket each problem the same way. I do hope he can help these families and that there is good coming out of it. Actually I like Dr. Philism's......... Like the Jeff Foxworthy "That guy looked at me and what I said like a cow looking at a new gate!" :t2: :t2: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Here is some food for thought for those who don't understand or maybe have never considered the unequally yoked thing..... ....see as a farmer in the old days, before tractors etc....you had oxen to plow the fields. The huge heavy harnesses placed around the oxens neck was called a yoke. There were two oxen. If you had 2 oxen that were not matched in strength or ability, then plowing would go slowly if at all since one would be further ahead and have to either drag the other one, or slow down to accomodate for it. Either way, being unequally yoked was a hinderance. That is a physical metaphore for a spiritual condition. You have a believer and an unbeliever. Two people who's lives and hearts are ruled by an entirely set of different rules. Or they should be. I have seen Christian marriages that are unequally yoked, they don't have the spiritual committment to seeking out Christ everyday in their marriage and have allowed other things to enter in and take over. So you say it is just dating. Just getting to know someone. Seriously, what if you fell in love? What if you wanted to marry? Knowing that God warns us in the bible to not do this in the first place, then to go and flirt with disaster? I have heard of many more marriages splitting up because of the differences of beliefs than I have heard of harmony or the other person coming to faith. My parents homes growing up is a prime example. Both of their sets of parents split because of this. How can your heart be complete when the very fabric of your soul isn't unified with Christ? Ephesians 5:25a "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church...." how can you show that representation when the chain is broken. When the husband doesn't love God how can he show it as Christ loves the church? Christ gave himself up unto death as a attonment for sin? Selfless pure love! Examplified through marriage when you are made one with each other - you are one in Christ, or you should be. But how is their unity when there is no unity in spirit. This issue is so much deeper than....."Oh I like him - he doesn't seem so bad!" My dear, I am soo sorry you have had experiences with guys who did not honour you in Christ the way they should. But there are men out there who will. If you are willing to solely give yourself to God and his wishes, you will get the right one. It will happen. He will guide you both. Not to depress you (if you are younger), but I am 27....and still waiting. But I know that God will bless me. I don't want to settle. Forever is a long time to be unhappy cause I didn't listen to God's warning and will or my life. If he said do not be unequally yoked - I don't want it. My heart is to valuable and too soft to put myself out there for potential hurt I am already warned about. I want to be spiritually unified with my husband. Only in that will I discover true contentment, whole love, committment and fulfillment in marriage.