Hi Ash,
My name is Pam. I am a mom of 5 sons...I'm 47 years old...I have struggled with depression since my teens. I still by times struggle with thoughts of suicide. I know what causes the depression and most times I am good at keeping things on an even keel.
I want to share a bit of my testimony....
When I was 18 I had decided that it really wasn't worth the struggle anymore. I sat in my room, wrote my good bye notes while I listened to some music. Yes, I was a Christian at the time but life wasn't worth the fight anymore, so I thought. I had been praying and trying to hear an answer but really wasn't able to be still. I made a trip to the bathroom and in tears, looking into the bathroom mirror said more to myself then the Lord, "What do I have to live for?" and I heard just as plain as day..."What are you willing to die for?" I was surprised to say the least...I went back to my room, sat on my bed and made a list... for every thing I wrote down that I was willing to die for I was given a reason to live. I kept the list for a few years but lost it in a move. I don't need that list anymore because even during my times of struggle now I know that God loves me, and my family loves me. I also know that God will never leave me nor forsake me. He is my rock, my sword, my shield!!
Stay in touch dear one, and remember when one in the body hurts we all hurt, when one rejoices we all rejoice. For now I will hurt with you but I would really like to rejoice with you.
Anchored in Christ,
Pam