Every Idle Word

[wyguy]

I'm tired of just forgiving and seeing the same behaviour again and again.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)

[MelodyCat]

I'm tired of just forgiving and seeing the same behaviour again and again.

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matthew 18:21-22)

Yes I am accountable for my actions but I would love to see God kick these people up the backside a bit and get them to stop abusing the forgiveness thing and start behaving themselves. Just because I have to forgive then I don't have to enjoy getting treated badly over and over again you know.

Telling someone who has been mistreated "forgive the other party" doesn't address the hurt the person feels and rightly so when they have been belittle or abused etc... I would just like a little comfort to heal the emotional wounds that have been inflicted as well instead of being told "you have to do your bit you know!". Me forgiving someone meets the law but it doesn't do much for my emotional condition for quite a while afterwards.

Anyway I'm over my own incident of yesterday. However I am still sure that lately Christians (not just on forums but in other gatherings) have been less loving and respectful to each other. This still makes me very sad and I really have had to avoid certain people at various gatherings now in order to cope and keep myself out of their line of fire (this shouldn't have to be the case but it is the reality of today).

I know I am not the only one because I have since starting this thread, seen two similar threads elsewhere. Sad that we in the body of

Christ have not heeded Christ's words to love one another.

MelC

[mts]

back in 04. i would manipulate people into thinking a few things. i'd say a few words and make it seem like i was being serious only to end it with something sarcastic. and once i said what i said, i would then say. "you need to go to church and get your feelings hurt." <,< didn't always get a laugh though.

[MelodyCat]

back in 04. i would manipulate people into thinking a few things. i'd say a few words and make it seem like i was being serious only to end it with something sarcastic. and once i said what i said, i would then say. "you need to go to church and get your feelings hurt." <,< didn't always get a laugh though.

I'm sure you full well understood why the people you did this to were not laughing?

I didn't go announcing it to the world I was a Christian when I used to work (semi-retired now). However it would end up people would figure out I wa some sort of Christian, you can't help but be different to the world, to start off with just not swearing or not indulging in any kind of sexually crude jokes around the office is enough to give you away. I have been verbally questioned and attacked in a few jobs by some ex-Catholics because they had some problems with the Catholic Church. Now first of all I would have to point out to these people I'm not Catholic, second I'm not God and third I didn't offend them why take it out on me?

Cheers

MelC

Edited February 24, 2010 by MelodyCat

[thehopefulcry2]

First of all I would like to say that I am the QUEEN of over sensitivity. I used to get offended if someone look at me a right way or the way I thought they should. I spent my life trying to live up to unrealistic standards and short comings.

I have learned something very important:

Isaiah 2:22

Stop trusting in man,

who has but a breath in his nostrils.

Of what account is he?

As I agree that we are to try to be "Christ Like" putting your hope and trust in people only leads to heart ache. Also... Hurting people hurt people. This is a common thing that occurs almost daily, sometimes without the person even knowing it.

I cannot stand blatant rudeness nor meanness. Jesus doesn't want us to live the way of the world, this means getting disappointed when people let you down. Trusting In God is the only thing that will NEVER let you down. Jesus Can NEVER let you down because he is perfect.

I think that many times we try to view other "Christians" as super hero types. Because the have the knowledge they should always be better and always say the right things and never be mean (At least that's what I thought.) Being of the world was not what "Christians" were supposed be like. This again is putting trust in man which only leads to further disappointment. God spoke to me once when I was having an issue with some one and the way they were acting. He plainly said;

"Heather, It is not up to you to hold all people accountable or judge them. Its mine."

Further more he showed me times in my own life when I had acted so poorly that I didn't even want to be me.

I don't know that I have a specific point here, what I am saying is that we tend to hold people a higher and unrealistic standards. Satan only needs a speck of room to turn an encouraging word into a destroying word.

When ever I feel let down by people I pray that God changes me so that I am not putting my hope into something that is often times hopeless, even if they are in the "Body of Christ"

Please do not take offense to any of this, it is not intended to offend.

[mts]

back in 04. i would manipulate people into thinking a few things. i'd say a few words and make it seem like i was being serious only to end it with something sarcastic. and once i said what i said, i would then say. "you need to go to church and get your feelings hurt." <,< didn't always get a laugh though.

I'm sure you full well understood why the people you did this to were not laughing?

I didn't go announcing it to the world I was a Christian when I used to work (semi-retired now). However it would end up people would figure out I wa some sort of Christian, you can't help but be different to the world, to start off with just not swearing or not indulging in any kind of sexually crude jokes around the office is enough to give you away. I have been verbally questioned and attacked in a few jobs by some ex-Catholics because they had some problems with the Catholic Church. Now first of all I would have to point out to these people I'm not Catholic, second I'm not God and third I didn't offend them why take it out on me?

Cheers

MelC

my point was that christains find the weak/alone christains and tell them how wrong they are.

the reason i said sarcasticly, "you need to go to church to get your feeling hurt."

[MelodyCat]

First of all I would like to say that I am the QUEEN of over sensitivity. I used to get offended if someone look at me a right way or the way I thought they should. I spent my life trying to live up to unrealistic standards and short comings.

I have learned something very important:

Isaiah 2:22

Stop trusting in man,

who has but a breath in his nostrils.

Of what account is he?

As I agree that we are to try to be "Christ Like" putting your hope and trust in people only leads to heart ache. Also... Hurting people hurt people. This is a common thing that occurs almost daily, sometimes without the person even knowing it.

I cannot stand blatant rudeness nor meanness. Jesus doesn't want us to live the way of the world, this means getting disappointed when people let you down. Trusting In God is the only thing that will NEVER let you down. Jesus Can NEVER let you down because he is perfect.

I think that many times we try to view other "Christians" as super hero types. Because the have the knowledge they should always be better and always say the right things and never be mean (At least that's what I thought.) Being of the world was not what "Christians" were supposed be like. This again is putting trust in man which only leads to further disappointment. God spoke to me once when I was having an issue with some one and the way they were acting. He plainly said;

"Heather, It is not up to you to hold all people accountable or judge them. Its mine."

Further more he showed me times in my own life when I had acted so poorly that I didn't even want to be me.

I don't know that I have a specific point here, what I am saying is that we tend to hold people a higher and unrealistic standards. Satan only needs a speck of room to turn an encouraging word into a destroying word.

When ever I feel let down by people I pray that God changes me so that I am not putting my hope into something that is often times hopeless, even if they are in the "Body of Christ"

Please do not take offense to any of this, it is not intended to offend.

I'm sorry top disagree with you. I am holding those who have recently hurt me to the same standard I hold myself. That standard is what I have found in God's Word.

We are all accountable for our actions by God.

Not only hurting people hurt people, just plain selfish, self-centered people do as well. Just because you were raped doesn't excuse you from going out and raping someone else does it and the Bible clearly teaches you are responsible for your own actions.

I understand young people having trouble with contolling themselves but what is the excuse of the mature adults especially ones who have read and heard the bible taught for years?

Not only that we are told to hold our brothers and sisters accountable for their behaviour as well. If we don't discipline one another we are not serving the Lord.

Letting your brothers and sisters off the hook when the behave wrongly towards you is the easy way out. You are not doing what God commands.

COL 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

TI 3:1 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

TIT 2:1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

TIT 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

TIT 2:15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

2TI 4:1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.

We are supposed to teach, admonish, correct etc.. each other. Not just let other people's behaviour go unchallenged. Forgiveness for being wronged is only HALF the task, then if you are in the right authority position you are to TEACH them how to behave according to God's Word.

Who is doing the teaching and correcting if we all avoid it?

[Shiloh62]

I get that all the time. Email responses that in which the sender entirely misses the point of my question,answers some other question that I already know the answer to, or responses that make it evident that the sender just glanced at the letter, and sent a standard format reply. I always chalk it up to their ignorance and lack of intelligence.

[MelodyCat]

I get that all the time. Email responses that in which the sender entirely misses the point of my question,answers some other question that I already know the answer to, or responses that make it evident that the sender just glanced at the letter, and sent a standard format reply. I always chalk it up to their ignorance and lack of intelligence.

Normally I do as well and ignore them but the email was sent off to others as well so I had to defend myself. That is what really annoyed me on that day. I had said everythign correctly in my answer to this question and then someone makes it look like I hadn't and agressively so (their email was really belittling me). I was able to re-send the portion showing I had addressed the point and I had done so twice.

Then you get the half hearted apology with the BUT and their justification for their action. It felt like a slap in the face but I should have jsut left it there for others to just see and make their own mind up. So I stupidly thought telling this person that an apology needs nothing added to it (my words were all you need to do is apologise nothing more nothing less to show kindness and respect to a person). That's when another person (who wa forwarded my private email to this person I didn't blanket this one to all) then told me off that I was over the top etc...

Yep I've been burned and learnt my lesson when to stop just take the insult. The person I was personally addressing also abused me back over that comment. Obviously not wanting any correction.

I'm actually thinking about not going to any kind of fellowship things anymore, not even to Church. I'm really sick of having to watch my back and wondering who will pick a fight with me next. You know if I had caused this by actually doing or saying something to offend someone else I could pray, ask God to help me cahnge my behaviour. The last few times I have been involved in a dispute has been something like this were I have been misinterpreted. So I am starting to wonder if I stood still and didn't open my mouth if someone could still find something to have a go at me over?

Edited February 25, 2010 by MelodyCat

[thehopefulcry2]

I'm sorry top disagree with you. I am holding those who have recently hurt me to the same standard I hold myself. That standard is what I have found in God's Word.

We are all accountable for our actions by God.

Not only hurting people hurt people, just plain selfish, self-centered people do as well. Just because you were raped doesn't excuse you from going out and raping someone else does it and the Bible clearly teaches you are responsible for your own actions.

I understand young people having trouble with contolling themselves but what is the excuse of the mature adults especially ones who have read and heard the bible taught for years?

Not only that we are told to hold our brothers and sisters accountable for their behaviour as well. If we don't discipline one another we are not serving the Lord.

Letting your brothers and sisters off the hook when the behave wrongly towards you is the easy way out. You are not doing what God commands.

COL 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

TI 3:1 Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task. 2 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.

TIT 2:1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

TIT 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

TIT 2:15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

2TI 4:1 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage--with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine.

We are supposed to teach, admonish, correct etc.. each other. Not just let other people's behaviour go unchallenged. Forgiveness for being wronged is only HALF the task, then if you are in the right authority position you are to TEACH them how to behave according to God's Word.

Who is doing the teaching and correcting if we all avoid it?

Perhaps some of what I said didn't jive well with you. Still I feel the response I got was a little Harsh.

My main point was trusting people will let you down every time. Trying to help people who don't want your help gets tiring, so some times rebuking them doesn't work. People cannot change unless they allow the holy spirit to lead them, no matter what you say. That is not to say that you shouldn't try. But I think it can end up upsetting you more if you are not careful.

I was trying to offer some help.

Ill pray for you.

Good luck.

Edited February 26, 2010 by thehopefulcry2