facebook

[JHERB]

An old high school class-mate of mine found me on Face book and sent a friend request. However, this class-mate was a bully. You couldn't even look or smile at her or she'd beat you up. This was her reputation, I don't really know how true that was, and I didn't want to find out either. Her bio on her profile page says - easy going and very friendly. WELL . Anyway, it just strikes me funny that she'd want to be friends w/ me - we were never friends before and I really don't know her. I am struggling w/ accepting her as a friend - I ask myself, "what would it hurt?" It's only facebook, right????? I know from experience that people change . What would you do in this situation???

Thanks,

love, sister-in-Christ,

Jane

[Fraught]

An old high school class-mate of mine found me on Face book and sent a friend request. However, this class-mate was a bully. You couldn't even look or smile at her or she'd beat you up. This was her reputation, I don't really know how true that was, and I didn't want to find out either. Her bio on her profile page says - easy going and very friendly. WELL . Anyway, it just strikes me funny that she'd want to be friends w/ me - we were never friends before and I really don't know her. I am struggling w/ accepting her as a friend - I ask myself, "what would it hurt?" It's only facebook, right????? I know from experience that people change . What would you do in this situation???

Thanks,

love, sister-in-Christ,

Jane

there's a button that says 'ignore'. that's the one i'd click.

[Guest LadyC]

jane, i have discovered that on facebook, people will friend you just because they recognize your name, even if they weren't friends with you back then. facebook in many ways is very much the ego trip. not saying there aren't good things about being on facebook, but really, it's just a way to let everyone know everything going on in your life without having to make an honest effort at communication. i find myself relying on facebook to do the talking for me all the time.

some people take it way too far, LOL. there's one guy i know who updates his status a dozen times a day... "just crawled out of bed haven't had my coffee"... "now i'm at church".... "church is over".... "having lunch".... i mean, really? come on!

the person you are referring to, she may have once been a bully and may have had a total change of personality. but that ONLY will have happened, IMO, if she has submitted her life to the Lord... and you have no way of knowing if that is the case. but remember this... bullies are by nature very egocentric. facebook is the perfect venue for them to feel important as they tell everybody every detail of their lives, even though they could care less about the people reading it. what is important to bullies is the attention. and the more "friends" one has on facebook, the more important they feel.

listen, very few people really use facebook for deep communication. i mean when you first find someone you remember from school, you might send a few messages back and forth, and then the novelty is over and you ignore each other again. this person who was a bully back then isn't even going to have anything to catch up with you about. you weren't friends then, and you're not likely going to bond and become bosom buddies over the internet. so don't feel the least bit guilty about ignoring her friend request.

[Dak]

An old high school class-mate of mine found me on Face book and sent a friend request. However, this class-mate was a bully. You couldn't even look or smile at her or she'd beat you up. This was her reputation, I don't really know how true that was, and I didn't want to find out either. Her bio on her profile page says - easy going and very friendly. WELL . Anyway, it just strikes me funny that she'd want to be friends w/ me - we were never friends before and I really don't know her. I am struggling w/ accepting her as a friend - I ask myself, "what would it hurt?" It's only facebook, right????? I know from experience that people change . What would you do in this situation???

Thanks,

love, sister-in-Christ,

Jane

I say that simply give her a chance, Sis. Maybe God is leading her to you. Maybe her being a bully before has left her with few friends, and is now lonely. Maybe you can bring her to the Lord. Maybe you two can be true friends.

I am using own Facebook account to share my faith with Jesus Christ. I am saying yes to all of friend requests, even if I do not know the people, because I believe that God is using my account to lead these people to him.

Please think about this.

DP

[Blien]

Just because they were like that in the past, doesn't mean they are now.. who knows, maybe she's a Christian. Even if she isn't now what could she really do to you on facebook? Send you a very hard "poke"... lol...

Personally, I have a half a dozen rough boys/girls from my H.S. on my account and they don't bother me. One of them (who was expelled from our school in grade 10) turned out to be very easy going now. He' still a little bad, but those wild hormone days are over. He asks me about God from time to type and I can share the word with Him.

[fromIslam2Christ]

An old high school class-mate of mine found me on Face book and sent a friend request. However, this class-mate was a bully. You couldn't even look or smile at her or she'd beat you up. This was her reputation, I don't really know how true that was, and I didn't want to find out either. Her bio on her profile page says - easy going and very friendly. WELL . Anyway, it just strikes me funny that she'd want to be friends w/ me - we were never friends before and I really don't know her. I am struggling w/ accepting her as a friend - I ask myself, "what would it hurt?" It's only facebook, right????? I know from experience that people change . What would you do in this situation???

Thanks,

love, sister-in-Christ,

Jane

I wouldn,t accept her if you really don't feel like it. Especially since you don't consider her a friend, or even a nice school memory.

[Dak]

Just because they were like that in the past, doesn't mean they are now.. who knows, maybe she's a Christian. Even if she isn't now what could she really do to you on facebook? Send you a very hard "poke"... lol...

Personally, I have a half a dozen rough boys/girls from my H.S. on my account and they don't bother me. One of them (who was expelled from our school in grade 10) turned out to be very easy going now. He' still a little bad, but those wild hormone days are over. He asks me about God from time to type and I can share the word with Him.

I agree with you 101%

[EricH]

Moved from General Discussion to Looking for Advice

[Guest man]

People change.

[Guest LadyC]

people can change, true.

here's the thing though... if the person were to suddenly move next door, or start going to your church, or working with you, then absolutely i think one should give them the benefit of the doubt. but that's not the case... it's just facebook. how many of you really have meaningful discussions with anyone on facebook? i've had people friend me or ask to be friends who i barely remember, and when i said yes, that was the last i ever heard from them. literally.

jane, when the person sent the friend request, did they send a MESSAGE with it? anything saying "hi, remember me?" or "hey, i know we weren't friends then, but i'd like to be now" or something like that?

or did they send you a friend request with no personal communication at all with it? if there was no communication attached, there probably never will be.

so really, bottom line is, it's up to you. maybe the person just needs a new neighbor for farmville. if you play farmville, then more neighbors are always a good thing, no matter who they are, right?

but if you choose not to add this person as a friend, don't waste a second feeling guilty about it.