hazel Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 478 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 29 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/01/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/06/1971 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi wordsower, Wow.. my heart is breaking for you and your kids. My very best friend is going through the same thing you are. Alot of the details are the same. Childhood neglect and abuse, the drug use, irresponsibility, jealousy of church and her relationship with God. Really sad stuff. His drug abuse caused him to loose a very good job that it took him 7 years of college to get, and then he abandoned my friend and their 2 girls to fend for themselves. I don't know how to advise you about your relationship with your husband, but I know that drug users are emotionally unstable, and unpredictable in every way, so I'd suggest that you go ahead and get your old job back for you and the kids' sake. You may also want to link up with an alanon group in your area. As I pray for my friend, I'll be praying for you! If you'd like to talk, PM me. God bless you! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsower Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,545 Content Per Day: 0.19 Reputation: 30 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/27/1968 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Well, he came in about 11:30 Saturday with a boat. yep, didn't have any money all week to pay bills but he got a boat. Oh, that really got it going. Sunday he went fishing instead of to church. Suzanne, I don't know if I want to go to church and dis my husband, ya know? He goes there too. I'm sure if they knew his problems they wouldn't like him much and I hate for him to feel like he can't go to church. Oh, I'd love to go up there and let them all know just what is going on, but afraid the reprocussions couldn't be too good. When I point out the problems, the fact that he is selfish, hateful, always angry, irresponsible and undependable, he gets so MAD. He doesn't want to confront his life, that is the whole problem. You can not get over what you wont confront. I have been an enabler too long. Yukon, He doesn't ge them from a Dr., he buys them illegally and he doesn't want help, doesn't admit he has a problem. Adstar and Hazel, thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Got my job, and he is paying me $2.00 an hour more than I made last year when I worked there so that is great. I can make it on my own but I doubt he will leave. I'm such a victim! I hate this!! The Lord will deliver me, I'm leaving it to Him. Thank you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 827 Topics Per Day: 0.10 Content Count: 12,101 Content Per Day: 1.50 Reputation: 249 Days Won: 3 Joined: 04/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2004 Sis, I am sorry you are going through this. I can totally relate to your frustrations as I was there once myself. However, my husband drank, and it affected his work. He got to the point where he couldn't hold a job. Now, having been there, I offer this small piece of wisdom. Do not let your husband affect your joy. Sis, your inner joy should not be affected by any human being. That comes from God, and is always there for you to draw strength from. It is your well, your oasis in the desert. You are not responsible for what he does or says. Just be sure to let the Light of Jesus shine through you, so that your husband will not be in the dark. It is by Jesus that he will be healed and it is by Jesus that your marriage with be restored. Don't let bitterness creep in and dim that light. Let your husband see your joy and your close walk with the Lord. Maybe it will cause him desire the same. Sis, I wish for you great blessings. I certainly will include you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 92 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,244 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 63 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/30/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2004 Is leaving a spouse a sin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trinity Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 92 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,244 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 63 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/30/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2004 I mean Is leaving a spouse if you do not getting in a new relationship a sin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsth Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 297 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 5,586 Content Per Day: 0.69 Reputation: 193 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/09/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2004 Suzanne, I don't know if I want to go to church and dis my husband, ya know? He goes there too. I'm sure if they knew his problems they wouldn't like him much and I hate for him to feel like he can't go to church. Oh, I'd love to go up there and let them all know just what is going on, but afraid the reprocussions couldn't be too good. Dear Wordsower, Which would be worse, to be held accountable, or to die in his sin? If your church is Biblically sound, they should not "turn" on him? They should speak the truth in love, and then help him. This is an issue of repenting. But, I am more specifically speaking of your pastor and counseling you and your husband. If your husband is left in this state, you are right, it is enabling. The Word has specific guidelines for a proclaimed Christian/brother who is in blatant sin and offending another, which would be YOU. Read Matthew 18 In His Truth and Love, Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsth Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 297 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 5,586 Content Per Day: 0.69 Reputation: 193 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/09/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 23, 2004 Is leaving a spouse a sin? Matthew 5:31 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Mt 19:9 - Show Context And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." Mr 10:11 - Show Context So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. Mr 10:12 - Show Context And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Lu 16:18 - Show Context Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. 1 Cor. 7:10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? In His Truth, Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsower Posted August 23, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,545 Content Per Day: 0.19 Reputation: 30 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/18/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/27/1968 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Traveller, Thank you so much. God is my source and my joy. I'm fine, really. Disgusted, tired and irritated but not depressed and pititful like I would have been before I had Jesus. I thank God for His grace. Trinity, I have every biblical reason to divorce my husband. Well, I did the first time. He had countless affairs on me and was awful. I divorced him for 5 years and then we reconciled and later got saved, (at least I did for sure, I have my doubts about him) as far as I know he has not had any affairs this time, we've been remarried for 3 years, today actually. For me it would not be a sin but it might not be blessed. Suzanne, The sermon yesterday was on relationships and Pastor Ron said if you are in a relationship where the person manipulates you, drains the life out of you, ridicules your dreams, is jealous or envious, you need to get away from that person. Maybe you are right, maybe I should ask the church. It's just so big, 6000 members and I know the godly wouldn't turn on him, just worried about the others, but I think I will call the counselor on duty. Thanks for the advice. Well, I go to work tomorrow, did I already say that? Think so. I'm looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsth Posted August 24, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 297 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 5,586 Content Per Day: 0.69 Reputation: 193 Days Won: 1 Joined: 04/09/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 24, 2004 You will be in my prayers. :il: In His Love, Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adstar Posted August 24, 2004 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,399 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,307 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 24, 2004 I think trinity was asking if there is a difference between separation and divorce? Separation being that they are still married but living apart? All Praise The Ancient Of Days Please correct me if i am wrong trinity??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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