turtletwo Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted September 11, 2010 My heart is broken. I just found out that my dad went to the doctor today for a cancer update scan. But sadly- unless GOD intervenes, I will not hear back on this important report at all...due to family friction. Dad's caregiver (my brother) is hateful towards me. Refuses to talk to me about dad's medical info. And the law backs him up, due to the 'Hippa Act.' The power of attorney is my brother's daughter! ... So you can see what a mess I'm in. This important scan shows how far his cancer has spread. And to what organs. I would really like to know the test results, as I love my dad so much. My brother totally controls him. He has even rigged it up that I can't call our dad on the phone...And my own disease prevents me from traveling to see dad in person. Or I could at least try to interact with dad that way. The telephone was all I had and now that is being taken from me. I call this cruel and unusual punishment! I forgive my brother. But I just want contact with my dad back before he dies. He is in Stage 4 and getting worse all the time. Time may be short. Help! Any advice on what to do? I don't want to drag in a lawyer or social services or make this thing too ugly. Because that would only cause stress for my dad, who also has bad heart trouble... I have already tried pleading with my brother and humbling myself to him many times. Is the only solution the power of prayer to melt my brother's heart of ice??? If so, I need all I can get. If you can think of any other ideas, please let me know. Thanks, Worthy family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Joyful Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,901 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 365 Days Won: 29 Joined: 08/16/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted September 11, 2010 All I know to do is keep praying sister, I know I sure am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorningGlory Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1,022 Topics Per Day: 0.16 Content Count: 39,193 Content Per Day: 6.09 Reputation: 9,977 Days Won: 78 Joined: 10/01/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted September 11, 2010 I'm praying as well, TT; praying for the Lord to change your brother's heart. I don't know the particulars here but, when a loved one is in your dad's situation, it falls on the family members to put differences aside. The Lord knows your heart, sister; I am praying for Him to intervene on your behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 11, 2010 All I know to do is keep praying sister, I know I sure am I appreciate that. You are a good prayer warrior. If there are two ministries I think the world of ( & are sometimes underrated) it is that of the intercessor and the missionary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Joyful Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,901 Content Per Day: 0.35 Reputation: 365 Days Won: 29 Joined: 08/16/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted September 11, 2010 Praying for others strengthen me. I believe when we give out of ourselves what God has placed in us, we receive blessings we can never imagine. TT, I know these are trying times, all week long the Holy Spirit placed a tune with the words.."And He will do just what He said." I am enduring something at this moment and have began to ponder on that tune. God will never place anything upon us, but He does allow things to come about, simply because He knows His children. And His kids KNOW that when stuff comes about to just hand it back over to Him...He will never leave, nor forsaken us... He will do just what He said. Keep the faith sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turtletwo Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 35 Topic Count: 1,192 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 7,264 Content Per Day: 1.18 Reputation: 15,710 Days Won: 194 Joined: 07/15/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 11, 2010 I'm praying as well, TT; praying for the Lord to change your brother's heart. I don't know the particulars here but, when a loved one is in your dad's situation, it falls on the family members to put differences aside. The Lord knows your heart, sister; I am praying for Him to intervene on your behalf. Thanks for your faithfulness in how long and hard you have prayed about this, MorningGlory. That really means a lot. I agree with you wholeheartedly about putting our differences aside. And that's exactly what I told my brother. I pleaded with him that we make peace with each other...if only for dad's sake. Because nothing would make our dad happier. But he simply hasn't budged. I am getting stressed out and depressed over this. (Which is bad for my health.) I miss dad to the max. It's hard to say the particulars on an open forum, lest my brother discover this post. That would make him madder still. So I'll put it this way: this situation of dad living with him is definitely not in his best interest. I know personal things that could actually incriminate my brother and mess up his life...and that's the main reason he wants to keep dad & I apart, from talking on the phone. So dad can't tell me anything bad about his poor care. His other reason is revenge, (since his ego is hurt.) My brother views me as a threat and has grown to hate me. There are many things I could have reported him for, but have chosen not to. To keep the peace, so dad can go out of this world (hopefully to Heaven!) without an outright family war. But I worry for dad's well-being in that home with him. He needs prayer for safety and even a Hospice Center. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeonaS Posted September 11, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 203 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 10 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/12/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted September 11, 2010 You mean they have given the hospital, in effect, a list of people who are allowed to speak with or get information on your father? It makes me upset to think that they are in total control of the situation. I mean, how much would it take out of them to give you a status in 25 words or less? There must be a way. I have a lawyer friend - I'll ask her next time I see her. She may not know the answers because she's in a different field of law, but maybe she knows someone. Meanwhile, keep praying. As will I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest scoots Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 I wonder if you call the doctor and tell him the situation, if he/she would help you in any way. Once your father is in the hospital I don't think your brother has any right to keep you away as well. This must feel awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeonaS Posted September 12, 2010 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 203 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 10 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/12/2010 Status: Offline Share Posted September 12, 2010 My heart is broken. I just found out that my dad went to the doctor today for a cancer update scan. But sadly- unless GOD intervenes, I will not hear back on this important report at all...due to family friction. Dad's caregiver (my brother) is hateful towards me. Refuses to talk to me about dad's medical info. And the law backs him up, due to the 'Hippa Act.' The power of attorney is my brother's daughter! ... So you can see what a mess I'm in. This important scan shows how far his cancer has spread. And to what organs. I would really like to know the test results, as I love my dad so much. My brother totally controls him. He has even rigged it up that I can't call our dad on the phone...And my own disease prevents me from traveling to see dad in person. Or I could at least try to interact with dad that way. The telephone was all I had and now that is being taken from me. I call this cruel and unusual punishment! I forgive my brother. But I just want contact with my dad back before he dies. He is in Stage 4 and getting worse all the time. Time may be short. Help! Any advice on what to do? I don't want to drag in a lawyer or social services or make this thing too ugly. Because that would only cause stress for my dad, who also has bad heart trouble... I have already tried pleading with my brother and humbling myself to him many times. Is the only solution the power of prayer to melt my brother's heart of ice??? If so, I need all I can get. If you can think of any other ideas, please let me know. Thanks, Worthy family. I have a friend who is a lawyer. I gave her a sketchy outline of your situation and she said: If your dad gave control of his affairs to your brother, the only thing you might be able to do is to get an uninvolved third party (i.e. a non-family member) to act as mediator between you and your brother. They should say that your objective is to just be kept informed of your dad's status through this mediator. If your brother does not have "official" control of your dad's affairs, that could be a different story, but my friend and I didn't go that far. I hope this helps in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyguy Posted September 12, 2010 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 373 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,331 Content Per Day: 0.59 Reputation: 71 Days Won: 10 Joined: 10/15/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/24/1965 Share Posted September 12, 2010 Is the only solution the power of prayer to melt my brother's heart of ice??? It's the best one, that's for sure. Nothing happens against God's will - I pray His will be done in this situation, because whatever God wills is the best result for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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