what's wrong with me?

[notmyown22]

:emot-fail:I've been living in the same area for my entire life. I've never really been popular, but I've usually had at least one or two true friends growing up. Well now that I'm 19 and out in the "real world," I'm beginning to slip back into a depression. I've been attending a church for four years now, but I still dont have any friends there. I know a lot of the people, but we arent close. I've gone to the social events and tried to make friends, but it seems like they all fade back into the same whir of the hive. Recently there was a church split and quite a few of the leaders left. We got a new youth pastor and I thought that would help the situation. My little sister was really good friends with not only him, but his entire family. It seems like the new youth pastor has been a disaster, at least to my family. When we try to strike up a conversations, we are repeatedly ignored. People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis. When I go, very few people ask how my family has been and tell me to let my mom know that they miss her. No one has called or emailed yet many have this contact info. Is it just me, or is this abnormal? I feel like no one there cares. I went this morning and it was like I was invisible to the people there. Since it seems like this has been going on all my life, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me? My family and I have no close friends. We could disappear and no one would really notice. Is this normal? I'm just bummed I guess...

[Fez]

:emot-fail:I've been living in the same area for my entire life. I've never really been popular, but I've usually had at least one or two true friends growing up. Well now that I'm 19 and out in the "real world," I'm beginning to slip back into a depression. I've been attending a church for four years now, but I still dont have any friends there. I know a lot of the people, but we arent close. I've gone to the social events and tried to make friends, but it seems like they all fade back into the same whir of the hive. Recently there was a church split and quite a few of the leaders left. We got a new youth pastor and I thought that would help the situation. My little sister was really good friends with not only him, but his entire family. It seems like the new youth pastor has been a disaster, at least to my family. When we try to strike up a conversations, we are repeatedly ignored. People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis. When I go, very few people ask how my family has been and tell me to let my mom know that they miss her. No one has called or emailed yet many have this contact info. Is it just me, or is this abnormal? I feel like no one there cares. I went this morning and it was like I was invisible to the people there. Since it seems like this has been going on all my life, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me? My family and I have no close friends. We could disappear and no one would really notice. Is this normal? I'm just bummed I guess...

People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis.

Hmmmm.......

Discernment is needed here. Has any mod checked this ip address?

Heb 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Maybe it's just me, but I do have a little "discernment", and I think it would be wise to wait for the next, if any post here.

[Guest]

Praying!

[Prodigalson123]

Hey NYO, I know how you feel. There are times I wish that I had more deep relationships, as it is I have 2 friends 1 believer and 1 pagan. The believer is far from regular in their calling me back when I call him and it breaks my heart when I appeal to him to have a constant or deeper relationship, and he doesn't. He never shares and speaks about scripture and Christian issues, but claims that he is a solid Christian. To be truthful, the pagan and I have much deeper theological discussion. But, that just means that I haven't come across the ones that the Lord has in store for me. There are times when solitude is needed. This might be a time when God wants you to draw close to Him as opposed to relying on human companionship. When the time is right, there will be a friend provided for you. I don't pretend to know what the Lord's will is, but have faith. Count me as someone you can talk to and we can seek His answers together.

[wyguy]

:emot-fail:I've been living in the same area for my entire life. I've never really been popular, but I've usually had at least one or two true friends growing up. Well now that I'm 19 and out in the "real world," I'm beginning to slip back into a depression. I've been attending a church for four years now, but I still dont have any friends there. I know a lot of the people, but we arent close. I've gone to the social events and tried to make friends, but it seems like they all fade back into the same whir of the hive. Recently there was a church split and quite a few of the leaders left. We got a new youth pastor and I thought that would help the situation. My little sister was really good friends with not only him, but his entire family. It seems like the new youth pastor has been a disaster, at least to my family. When we try to strike up a conversations, we are repeatedly ignored. People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis. When I go, very few people ask how my family has been and tell me to let my mom know that they miss her. No one has called or emailed yet many have this contact info. Is it just me, or is this abnormal? I feel like no one there cares. I went this morning and it was like I was invisible to the people there. Since it seems like this has been going on all my life, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me? My family and I have no close friends. We could disappear and no one would really notice. Is this normal? I'm just bummed I guess...

People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis.

Hmmmm.......

Discernment is needed here. Has any mod checked this ip address?

Heb 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.

Maybe it's just me, but I do have a little "discernment", and I think it would be wise to wait for the next, if any post here.

It seems to me Fez that she may have been going to more than just the second service before, and because of the church split, they may suspect she is about to leave.

notmy own22, you will always have friends here at Worthy. We are more than happy to talk with you and have fellowship. We are actually more than friends, we are family in Christ Jesus.

[hr.jr.]

:emot-fail:I've been living in the same area for my entire life. I've never really been popular, but I've usually had at least one or two true friends growing up. Well now that I'm 19 and out in the "real world," I'm beginning to slip back into a depression. I've been attending a church for four years now, but I still dont have any friends there. I know a lot of the people, but we arent close. I've gone to the social events and tried to make friends, but it seems like they all fade back into the same whir of the hive. Recently there was a church split and quite a few of the leaders left. We got a new youth pastor and I thought that would help the situation. My little sister was really good friends with not only him, but his entire family. It seems like the new youth pastor has been a disaster, at least to my family. When we try to strike up a conversations, we are repeatedly ignored. People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis. When I go, very few people ask how my family has been and tell me to let my mom know that they miss her. No one has called or emailed yet many have this contact info. Is it just me, or is this abnormal? I feel like no one there cares. I went this morning and it was like I was invisible to the people there. Since it seems like this has been going on all my life, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me? My family and I have no close friends. We could disappear and no one would really notice. Is this normal? I'm just bummed I guess...

Many churches have their clicks. Unfortunately, you are either in or out. I have always been "out" because I am not going to play the games it requires to fit into their little social clubs. I used to care what people thought about me and I had a strong desire to be accepted by them. The realization finally hit me that I was happy with who I was, and I did not need to be accepted by others to be content.

[Prodigalson123]

:emot-fail:I've been living in the same area for my entire life. I've never really been popular, but I've usually had at least one or two true friends growing up. Well now that I'm 19 and out in the "real world," I'm beginning to slip back into a depression. I've been attending a church for four years now, but I still dont have any friends there. I know a lot of the people, but we arent close. I've gone to the social events and tried to make friends, but it seems like they all fade back into the same whir of the hive. Recently there was a church split and quite a few of the leaders left. We got a new youth pastor and I thought that would help the situation. My little sister was really good friends with not only him, but his entire family. It seems like the new youth pastor has been a disaster, at least to my family. When we try to strike up a conversations, we are repeatedly ignored. People are gossiping about us leaving the church because we haven't been attending regularly because my grandmother has been having severe health issues. I lead 3 and 4 year old Sunday School for the second service, so I have to attend on a regular basis. When I go, very few people ask how my family has been and tell me to let my mom know that they miss her. No one has called or emailed yet many have this contact info. Is it just me, or is this abnormal? I feel like no one there cares. I went this morning and it was like I was invisible to the people there. Since it seems like this has been going on all my life, I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with me? My family and I have no close friends. We could disappear and no one would really notice. Is this normal? I'm just bummed I guess...

Many churches have their clicks. Unfortunately, you are either in or out. I have always been "out" because I am not going to play the games it requires to fit into their little social clubs. I used to care what people thought about me and I had a strong desire to be accepted by them. The realization finally hit me that I was happy with who I was, and I did not need to be accepted by others to be content.

That's the natural reaction, but we are called to turn from our "nature" Paul speaks about being all things to all people. Now that certainly doesn't mean to be a hypocrite and not be genuine. But the fact that what people think about us does matter. being true to yourself character-wise is the key, but the "idea" that it doesn't matter what the others in your church, local "body of Christ" think about you isn't scriptural.

[2Joyful]

I pray you will cover this situation with prayer. I just lost one of my best friends to the same thing of feeling nobody cared and the I just don't fit in. I guess me along with a few others didn't count . <Thats an inside joke because we are still the best of friends.

Sometimes we look at the group that seen to have it going on and neglect others that standing around needing friends. Me, I just walk up to folks and be friendly (believe me thats a hard thing for me to do). After awhile maybe a couple of weeks, I'll chat and say , hey lets exchange numbers. I then follow up call and start a chat with them about the Lord and family. DONOT use this as a way of starting a nobody care section. Soon friendship blossom and sometimes not. The ones that does become the best around.

Joyful

[spiritman]

I know the feeling, I at times as well have felt lonely as if I don't fit in. Perhaps I'm just too picky about who I associate with. but I do notice, that when I stop having a pity party for himself, and get involved with others situations, a smile a friendly word of encouragement, or a helping hand, I get noticed more.

There is an old saying; keep on casting your bread upon the waters, and soon it will come back to you. or is that a song Oh well!!

[notmyown22]

Thanks guys for the encouragement! I apologize for not updating, things have been so busy around here lately. When I started this topic, I was really depressed, but as we all know, misery loves company. I was not in the word like I should have been and I was having pity parties with my mom. Its definitely been a challenge still being at home. I think for the first time in my life I've realized that I have to stand up and do what is right even if my mom doesnt. I think that has been the huge issues. My mom was the one who always took charge and pushed us to go to church on sunday, but since she has stopped going, I've had to push myself. I know now that there are those at church who care deeply for me and my family but who also have challenges of their own. One thing that was said to me that really shocked me back into line was said by a dear friend. She said that she has realized that she cant be a spiritual cheerleader to everyone. I know now that I have to push myself if I want the rewards of a deeper relationship with the Lord. Basically what I'm trying to say is I'm back on track and in a much better place than when I posted this the first time..