Guest ~bean~ Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ugh, my family is in the middle of the biggest cat fight and it all boils down to one phone call between my mother and my husband. Hubby thinks mum said something insulting and should apologise. Mum thinks hubby overreacted and yelled at her and she is demanding an apology herself. The rest of the details are unimportant. Trouble is, I think both mum was insulting and hubby slightly over reacted. But all this got to the stage where now we are no longer invited to any family events including Christmas until this blows over or hubby apologises. I really love my parents and my hubby. What to do? Each wants the other to accept 100% of the blame and apologise. I have been in tears over what feels like the 'death' of my family. So far I've stood by hubby all the way but it is going to be at the cost of my family... and hubby thinks that if this is what it's going to be like then why struggle to keep a close loving relationship with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ugh, my family is in the middle of the biggest cat fight and it all boils down to one phone call between my mother and my husband. Hubby thinks mum said something insulting and should apologise. Mum thinks hubby overreacted and yelled at her and she is demanding an apology herself. The rest of the details are unimportant. Trouble is, I think both mum was insulting and hubby slightly over reacted. But all this got to the stage where now we are no longer invited to any family events including Christmas until this blows over or hubby apologises. I really love my parents and my hubby. What to do? Each wants the other to accept 100% of the blame and apologise. I have been in tears over what feels like the 'death' of my family. So far I've stood by hubby all the way but it is going to be at the cost of my family... and hubby thinks that if this is what it's going to be like then why struggle to keep a close loving relationship with them. Well, you cannot control others, you can only make choices. You should have the ear of both your hubby and your mum. If it were I, I think that I would ask hubby to at least apologize for whatever he is guilty of, and help him to see his part, but make no demands, Let him know that the relationship is important to you, and can he not consider, doing this for you, if not for your mum. As for you mum, I would ask something similar, but the relationship is a bit different. To your mum, you are stil her child, she may feel that entitles her to something, But with your husband, you are one with him, so that makes you want to (rightly) be unified. That goes both ways however, and he might want to consider moving in a direction that makes you happy, because he is your hubby, and your best interest, should outway his own 'need' for an apology from mum. For both parties, an appeal to the effect that "I know the other one is not guiltless in the situation, but can you not just be the bigger person?" might help. I do not have much to add, have never had this sort of situation come up, and have no skills developed therefore. Pray! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmbld Posted December 5, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 2,491 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 1,457 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/23/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/02/1971 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldShep Posted December 5, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 20 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 934 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 137 Days Won: 6 Joined: 07/20/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/12/1950 Share Posted December 5, 2011 What to do? Place God at the center of your family and keep your eyes on Him,Praying in everything, and things should fall into it's place. In the meant time I will Join in with FresnoJoe and pray to. ICL Dennis.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted December 5, 2011 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,194 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,471 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Ask both of them if they expect Christ to forgive them of every one of their offenses and allow them entrance into His Eternal Home? Mt 7:1-5 7 "Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. NKJV Life is no longer about who's deserving what... it's about honoring the Son by allowing our hearts to become like His! Love, Steven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted December 5, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I want to say individually to both of them, "You were both wrong, and both of you need to apologize." But not everyone is humble enough to receive such, and that takes a little diplomacy...unfortunately I'm not gifted enough in that area to offer suggestions. Prayers and blessings and peace in Jesus' name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaiah 6:8 Posted December 5, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 426 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 3,633 Content Per Day: 0.58 Reputation: 222 Days Won: 13 Joined: 03/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/26/1978 Share Posted December 5, 2011 My wife has been in your position several times actually. More so at the beginning of our marriage then later. (though it has happened) Her response was varied. On the situations that were like you described both in the wrong, she would wait till I cooled off and have me realize how I overacted, then wait till her mom cooled off (Sometimes this took awhile) and tried to talk some sense into her. It somehow worked usually. Or we just prayed about it and I dropped it! I don't know the answer and I don't know if it will work for you but that is what we did, and I'll be praying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien224 Posted December 30, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 82 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,762 Content Per Day: 0.38 Reputation: 869 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/09/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/24/1964 Share Posted December 30, 2011 Praying that is all over now! Happy new yr to all! God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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