mizzdy Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 173 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,911 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 10 Joined: 03/21/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted April 30, 2012 People on this site do not like to listen it seems. I keep getting the answer of "just go to church". Forget about the fact that I DID for years. Forget about the fact in my time of need the church looked the other way and refused to help me. Forget about the fact that I reached out to MANY people in friendship, but everyone was too comfortable with their lives and couldn't fit me into their schedule. I would greatly APPRECIATE it if someone on here would give me advice that I HAVEN'T already tried. Please wait giving me the "just go to church " responses. You people can't just tell me to go back to an institution that has hurt and betrayed me. I'm happy all of you have found perfect churches, but I haven't even found a good church. PLEASE keep this in mind when telling me what I should do. Taylor, People have reached their hand out in friendship here to you since you arrived. Many here have tried to help you in whatever way you would allow. There are many ways to fellowship with others besides sitting in a church pew and thats has been suggested to you also. What exactly do you want? someone to take you by the hand and make you feel better about yourself? You have already admitted to not getting what you want from God that you, Taylor, cannot get comfort from God because He is not physical, that really tells me a lot. Sorry to inform you that its not just you and what you want all the time, its about what God wants for us, we are to allow Him to take our will, our hearts and align them with His. That cannot happen when a person is so stuck in thinking about how things affect them personally. I cant speak about everyone elses churches but mines not perfect far from it to be sure, we are an assembly of the faithful who strive to put Him First in our lives and not trying to get something for ourselves. To broadly brush everyone together is wrong, to think that some how those within His body are somehow perfect and will always walk in perfectness is naive at best. What I read in all of your posts is that its all about you and not about Him. Nebula has given you some great advice, try being husband material, try being the servant He wants from you, try not putting yourself in the center of the universe and put Him there and see what happens. shalom, Mizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted April 30, 2012 It isn't up to us to find a good church. It is God's hob to lead you to one. Ask Him to lead you to where He wants to plant you, and where you will bloom and He will lead you there. Please do not resign yourself to being selfish--that is not something to be proud of. that is something we need to shed when we determine to follow after Jesus Christ. god has instilled in us the desire for marriage and family--that is the norm. It isn't selfish to want these things. However, what we must do is make sure that we are disciples of Jesus Christ and are allowing Him to make us become whole people. When we lay down our desires before God, and seek to follow after Jesus with all our hearts, then God will bring that special someone He has in mind for us. He did that for me. Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taylor30 Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 382 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 3 Joined: 12/31/2011 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 It isn't up to us to find a food church. It is God's hob to lead you to one. Ask Him to lead you to where He wants to plant you, and where you will bloom and He will lead you there. Please do not resign yourself to being selfish--that is not something to be proud of. that is something we need to shed when we determine to follow after Jesus Christ. god has instilled in us the desire for marriage and family--that is the norm. It isn't selfish to want these things. However, what we must do is make sure that we are disciples of Jesus Christ and are allowing Him to make us become whole people. When we lay down our desires before God, and seek to follow after Jesus with all our hearts, then God will bring that special someone He has in mind for us. He did that for me. Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires. I will be proud of MY selfishness as long as its not a sin to want it. I am REALLY tired of repeating myself but I will do it one more time. I want a wife and a few friends. Several people have told me how selfish that is. Well I assume there are many selfish people on this item then, because I'm betting few people have no one. In the book of James it tells us NOT to give advice without actions. It gives the example of telling a starving man to "be full" but doing NOTHING to help him do that. That is what the majority of people here have done. They give advice and don't reach out physically. I gave a challenge to the "Christians" on this site to give me certain personal information. Only 1 person has done so. So talk is cheap as I have finally proven. When put to the test, people will NOT back up their words and beliefs with actions. James also said faith WITHOUT works is dead, and when I look around I see LOTS of professed faith and NO works. You can claim safety is the reason. But what would Jesus do? Jesus would invite me in. He would expect his followers to follow husband example. People love to justify themselves, and I have NO doubt they will continue to do so. Yes I am proud, but the sins of others in their judgement and advice without love and professions without actions is cheap and those sins right now are far outweigh mine. This part is for everyone reading this. It is not my intention to simply keep arguing with all of you. I don't want any if you to feel you need to respond. Don't do it out of obligation. Only respond if you want to, no other reason. I'm sorry this thread is not going the way I had hoped, but I honestly don't think any of you are trying to understand. Many of you HAVE spouses and children and CANNOT understand what insane pain this sort of loneliness can cause. Its like a millionaire trying to comfort a homeless person. MANY of you CANNOT relate to me and that may be why your advice is not well taken. You must walk in my shoes to relate to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floatingaxe Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 62 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 9,613 Content Per Day: 1.45 Reputation: 656 Days Won: 9 Joined: 03/11/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/31/1952 Share Posted April 30, 2012 It isn't selfish to want those things. Those desires are for needs that are built into us by God. You are testing people to give out personal information, which the normal person would find objectionable and for good reason. Don't put people to the test like that--- you are asking them to suspend wisdom. I have walked in your shoes, and God has filled all my needs n that area because I went to the cross and laid down my needs for Him to fill. I know people who are walking in your shoes even now, and they are trusting God and not giving up. Proverbs 18:24 A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizzdy Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 173 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,911 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 212 Days Won: 10 Joined: 03/21/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted April 30, 2012 When I said churches are mostly social gatherings, I did not mean that as a negative. Our social needs are very legitimate and there's nothing wrong with a smile, handshake, hug or laugh shared with another human being. I believe those things to be therapeutic. Look, I wish with all my heart that I could walk into a church and be embraced by the ones there --- pastors as well as lay people. But experience has shown me such is not the case. For what it's worth, it's not easy to be in Taylor or my shoes. Churches today --- especially Protestant churches --- are all about families. Most churches want nothing to do with single guys over the age of, say, 25. We're regarded as stalkers, creeps, pedophiles or worse, even by people who haven't taken 30 seconds to get to know us. It's inaccurate, mean-spirited and it hurts!!!! You can't accurately paint a picture of an entire demographic like that. I've even been told it was wrong for me to visit said church (never understood that one) because I didn't have a personal invitation from someone there. I'm new in a strange town. What am I supposed to do? Wait for you to get around to calling or show up on my door? I was trying to reach out to strangers, to be part of your fellowship, and yet wasn't welcome in the "club". And pastors wonder why attendance is decling?!?!?! So, for now, I figure the best thing for me is to perhaps do an online church where I can remain anonymous and not offend anyone by my presence in their midst. OK, rant over!!! lol hey I like a good honest rant myself sometimes! lol A personal invite to a church is required???!!!! how sad is that! and how wrong that is! I dont understand that either. I am soo sorry that you have experienced such things and frankly I wish that you were not right in your assessment of so many churches. My mom went to the same church for decades yet when she needed them the most they were not there either, the church had changed so much in all those years, ciricles were drawn around the most prominate members and it just seemed everyone else was just there to hold them up. My husband and I were always in agreement with the state of churches, he grew up in truly at that time was a cult, I grew up with hell fire and brimstone teachings, sure didnt make us want to be apart of such things. Sadly there are some churches out there that follow way too much of their own denominational dialogues and truly one cannot even feel the move of the Spirit in those churches. And well I could go into all kinds of reasons churches are losing their members!!!!! I am so saddened to hear how people are afraid or suspicious of single men or single people period! We have many single men and woman of all ages but like I said we are a small congregation who have very diverse backgrounds to boot. I wish you could come to my fellowship and see the moving of the Spirit, the caring of one another that goes on, core members meet every Sabbath before fellowship to pray for each one of us, its nothing I have ever experienced before and well to me that is what the body is all about, serving Him and one another. If you ever get out to Vegas I invite you to join us. If you wanted to let me know what city you live in perhaps one of us could come up with a congregation you might want to check out. And boy I tell ya theres a few young woman who are waiting to meet a godly man too! lol I am glad that you are here and reaching out to us, this place truly has been a great blessing to me over the years, it was my main fellowship also until God made me sit up and rethink that whole going to church thing. I pray that whatever His leading for you and others here that He puts you where you will be loved for who you are in Him. shalom, Mizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.75 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.94 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Taylor, how about you give out your address? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,393 Content Per Day: 8.00 Reputation: 21,566 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Taylor, how about you give out your address? Neb! Sis! You hang out with a dead guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taylor30 Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 382 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 3 Joined: 12/31/2011 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Taylor, how about you give out your address? I am not a hypocrite. I NEVER ask something from someone else I am not willing to give myself. Send me a PM and I will give it to you. I might be considered stupid. I call it trusting God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taylor30 Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 382 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 96 Days Won: 3 Joined: 12/31/2011 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Taylor, how about you give out your address? Neb! Sis! You hang out with a dead guy! Would you mind clarifying what you mean by dead guy? Since you quoted ME, I assume you are referring to me. I would like to know How I am the butt of a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasoncran Posted April 30, 2012 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,246 Content Per Day: 0.28 Reputation: 90 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/16/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted April 30, 2012 ah yes the desire to be with a wife. hmm i remember those days. got married and found out god is right. marriage alone doenst satisify and i need him to be that husband and i learn how carnal i am. Yes its VERY selfish to want companionship. It has been suggested that CHURCH is the place where we can find companionship. HOWEVER as has been pointed out REPEATEDLY God should be enough. Therefore I would be wrong to do that even in church. Therefore I would like to ask honestly to ANYONE here this question. If GOD is TRULY all we need, how is it NOT selfish for other people to want wives and friends. Did God himself not create the institution if marriage and friendships? How is it selfish for ME to want these things when its not selfish for others? you will see if and when you do get married. you find out how selfish and carnal you are when you do have a child and wife. being single you dont see it. God uses persons to show us things of HIMSELF. a boy has taught me more about god then any sermon and doesnt even know it. you will also learn that christs love for the church is also to be reflected in and by you to your wife. meaning sometimes the wife must come first, and how that is often hard to do as the word teaches marriage is about you get not what you give to each other. marriage is all about loving someone more then you! that is what i mean. So then yes I am selfish and PROUD of it. Thousands of women every day murder their babies and poor people in my then regulate like rabbits and live on welfare. MOST people are selfish. Yes I don't want to be alone. I will do whatever I have to make sure that doesn't happen. You can judge all you want, I will NEVER feel bad or guilty for it. So yes. I am selfish and PROUD of it. yes most are but GOD calls us men to love them women more then ourselves. if walk into a marriage like that forget about GOD blessing you. look i rushed and married a woman whom i though was a christian but come to find out she aint. i wanted to divorce her over pot. and well i aint no saint myself i have a struggle with porn. so what should i do? divorce her? NO god says stay and what i have come see that is what i have told you! im selfish and im greedy and well god called me to change. if you want a wife pray for one and then also look for one that you want to love above all the others. theres whole verses on god doing this to isreal and it paints a picture of a marriage that we are all to do as men. but what do i know. dont listen to me and you might make the same mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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