GoldenEagle Posted July 9, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted July 9, 2013 Read this today and thought I'd get other's perspectives... This is very disturbing to me. God bless, GE On Domestic Violence: How Conservative Christianity has Chosen Patriarchal Gender Roles Over the Protection of Victims “A woman, an ass, and a walnut tree, the more they’re beaten, the better still they be.” ~ European Proverb c. 1400 AD “Take up a stick and beat her, not in rage, but out of charity and concern for her soul, so that the beating will rebound to your merit and her good.” ~ Friar Cherubino in Rules of Marriage on what a medieval husband should do if his wife does not obey his verbal correction “Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.” ~ Noel Coward, from Private Lives The men are placed in charge of the women, since God has endowed them with the necessary qualities and made them bread earners. The righteous women will accept this arrangement obediently, and will honor their husbands in their absence, in accordance with God’s commands. As for the women who show rebellion, you shall first enlighten them, then desert them in bed, and you may beat them as a last resort. ~ The Koran, Sura 4:34 "Yes, he pushed you around and hit you in the face and left bruises all over your kids, but he is still your husband. Just go home, pray for him, turn the other cheek, have more sex with him, and look for better ways to keep your house cleaner and make your children obey immediately. A happy husband whose wife is loving him this way would never abuse her!" ~ The typical advice given in ultraconservative and Patriarchal Christianity to abused women (see below) Since I was first admitted to the practice of law, I have represented victims of domestic violence, first as a staff attorney for the local Legal Aid organization, and both in my private practice and a volunteer on pro bono cases through the present time. Some of the cases involved violence against an aged parent, a few involved violence against men, and a few cases were same sex or sibling disputes. However, and unsurprisingly, most were violence by men against their intimate partners. In that time, I have noticed a common thread among the victims. In the vast majority of the cases, the victims belonged to either a church or a culture that emphasized the submission of women to men - often both. The city and county in which I live and practice is home to many immigrants from all over the world, and most of them come from “traditional” cultures. Our county also tends to be conservative, and has a high rate of church attendance. We also have a relatively high rate of poverty, which is also associated with domestic violence. All of these contribute, of course. Read entire article here: http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2013/07/on-domestic-violence-how-conservative.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted July 9, 2013 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,795 Content Per Day: 6.21 Reputation: 11,243 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted July 9, 2013 Nothing in the bible has ever condoned violence against women. However the quran as quoted above does. (Another strike against islam.) Nowhere in the bible is it acceptable to strike a wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 10, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Interesting on divorce: Up until now, I have been discussing primarily the criminal justice available to beaten wives. But what about divorce? Couldn’t they leave? Actually, no. Not until the late 1800s in most parts of the United States. In England this happened in 1878. A woman could not divorce for violence, nor for her husband’s adultery. (A man could divorce for these reasons.) A woman would have to be “abandoned” in order to be granted a divorce. So, as long as a man financially supported a woman, she was stuck. She could try to have him prosecuted, but she couldn’t leave. I think these were caveats... Caveat: Before I get going on this point, I do want to make some things clear. Domestic Violence is not just male to female, but the damage primarily occurs in this direction. Also, the power differential has historically been in favor of the man, as I have shown, so male to female violence reinforces this inequality in power. Second caveat: I do want to be clear that a general belief in male rule is not the same thing as violence. Not all who believe the woman should obey the man are abusers. If I am reading the statistics correctly (see the links below for the source), 75% of those who believe in the “traditional” hierarchy will never abuse their wives. However, the point is that we need to stop the 25% from feeling encouraged by our culture and our religion. Anyone else have thoughts on this? God bless, GE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 10, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Nothing in the bible has ever condoned violence against women. However the quran as quoted above does. (Another strike against islam.) Nowhere in the bible is it acceptable to strike a wife. I agree sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 10, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 I have split this topic... Please, let's stick to the OP. The OP is about Domestic Violence as pertaining to patriarchy. In particular unhealthy or "hard" patriarchy. I also want to make a distinction between “hard” Patriarchy and “soft” Patriarchy (whose proponents often prefer “Complementarianism”). Hard Patriarchy is represented by Douglas Phillips of Vision Forum (Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy), Bill Gothard (Institute in Basic Life Principles), Michael and Debbie Pearl, and a number of others. Hard Patriarchists advocate an absolute rule by men and fathers strikingly similar to Hammurabi’s code. The emphasis is on hierarchy and obedience. In contrast, “soft” Patriarchists hold to a view of male rule within the home and church, but balance it with a corresponding duty by the man to love and serve his wife. This would describe most of my parents’ and grandparents’ generation, who largely functioned in egalitarian manner, with mutual decision making, and an emphasis on love rather than hierarchy. Do you see the difference? What do you think? God bless, GE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 When I Look At The LORD Jesus Christ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25 I Know How My Darling Wife Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. Matthew 11:29 Should Be Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27 Treated Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 That Is What I Think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 10, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 No where does the Bible condone violence against one's spouse, for any reason. But sadly, many of today's Pastors, and even entire churches try and blame these problems on the woman every time the subject comes up. There is never a reason to strike your spouse. Ever. This brings to mind Pat Robertson and the newest flap over something he said a few weeks ago. A woman wrote in for advice because her husband had cheated on her and she was having a hard time forgiving him. Robertson basically blamed her for the problem saying she hadn't made herself and the home attractive enough to make him not want to stray. He also said that men are just mean and tend to wander. Why do people even listen to people like this anymore? He turned the victim into the perpetrator. And he absolved the man of any guilt or responsibility. And our society tends to do this far too often. We often make the victims the one at fault. I agree with this in bold brother. It is really sad that we do in fact make the victims out to be the party at fault. Do you have a link to what your referencing regarding Pat Robertson? God bless, GE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 10, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 When I Look At The LORD Jesus Christ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25 I Know How My Darling Wife Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. Matthew 11:29 Should Be Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27 Treated Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 That Is What I Think Yes Joe! Amen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coheir Posted July 11, 2013 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 104 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,458 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 729 Days Won: 5 Joined: 02/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/31/1950 Share Posted July 11, 2013 http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Marriage-Vows/ nothing in the marriage vows about beating your wife I went through these verses no permission in Bible for this action against a wife. Its wrong to hit or beat your wife imo, I have seen it many times in my child/teen years it not good for the man, woman, children or the marriage. I think the part in the article where they say christian services recommend prayer is wrong, i tend to think a good christian counselor is the better of a persons choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoldenEagle Posted July 11, 2013 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 764 Topics Per Day: 0.18 Content Count: 7,626 Content Per Day: 1.81 Reputation: 1,559 Days Won: 44 Joined: 10/03/2012 Status: Offline Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 I agree with this in bold brother. It is really sad that we do in fact make the victims out to be the party at fault. Do you have a link to what your referencing regarding Pat Robertson? God bless, GE http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/pat-robertson-husband-cheats-fix-wife-article-1.1347096 Google it and you will find plenty more, including a video of it. That is so messed up on so many levels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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