What do you think about breastfeeding? Cover or no cover?

[Guest Butero]

 

 

 

 

For that matter, when I mentioned to my husband about guys here claiming men are tempted with lust at seeing a woman breastfeeding without a cover, he gave a look of disgust and said something to the affect of, "Those guys [the ones lusting] have a problem."

So when someone admits that this is a stumbling block for them, the correct response is, the problem is theirs, not mine?

No one said anything about how to respond to someone.

 

I posted a verse from Corinthians. I'll post it again if you want.

 

We were referring to the anonymous men who were being referred to.

So because the ones that are stumbling are strangers, it's ok to stray from the Word?

 

Someone expressing their opinion on a matter to someone else is not stating what they would say to a person directly. I do not know of a single person who doesn't do that.

 

If I was talking face-to-face with a man who told me he feels lust seeing a woman breast-feeding when her breast is exposed . . . well, I'd probably feel too self-conscious and scared to say anything and try to leave as fast as I could. But if I did have the boldness to say anything ... actually, I can't feel myself having the boldness to say anything. Sorry.

 

I am going to have to agree with you and your husband on this one point.  I can't imagine any man having a battle with lust because a woman is breastfeeding her baby?  A guy like that has definitely got issues.  I also wouldn't think of walking up to a woman who was breastfeeding her child and tell her she needs to cover herself.  If I was that bothered by it, I would just look away.  From a Biblical perspective, I do see Man's point with regard to not laying a stumbling block in front of others.  I would just question someone with that kind of lust problem? 

[The_Patriot21]

I will throw this out here-and excuse me if I come across as a bit straightforward, but from a guys perspective here-I for one, and most of my male friends are the same-do not find anything lustfull about a woman breastfeeding. Massive cleavage? yes thats enough to draw a guys eye, letting them hang out? ya that would do it. Feeding a baby? no. Sorry. Most men I know do not find that in the least bit attractive. For one, the baby covers up pretty much everything anyway, 2 most men feel a little uncomfortable around a woman that does it-not lustful, but rather uncomfortable.

 

With that being said, I do know some men who would lust after this-but these guys are sex crazy, and are likely to lust after the woman regardless of whether she decided to do it in public or not. So to say that a guy who lusts after a woman breastfeeding has issues, is a true statement-and I will say this as a guy.

[nebula]

... I now realize you were only responding to my perceived lack of love or compassion to any and all breastfeeding women. That was not my intent. ...

 

[GoldenEagle]

 

This week was breastfeeding week. Feel free to discuss one or more of these questions...

A. What do you think about breastfeeding? Cover or no cover?

B. What are the social norms in the culture/country you live in?

 

C. Do you know the laws in your country/state regarding breastfeeding?

 

A.  Some people freak out when they see a woman breastfeeding her child in public, so it is probably a good idea to cover herself as much as possible for their sake?  I don't care one way or the other.

 

B.  I rarely see a woman breastfeeding a child in public, and when they have, they were as modest as possible.

 

C.  I am not sure about the laws in my state, but I can't imagine any woman being arrested for breastfeeding in public?  I can just imagine the outrage and protests that would arise if that ever did occur!

 

Thanks for sharing your perspective Butero.

My experience has been similar to yours regarding breastfeeding in public - I generally find nursing mothers pretty modest.

You are right a woman wouldn't be legally arrested for simply breastfeeding in any state in the U.S.

It's legal to breastfeed in all 50 states of the Union. Forty-five states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location. Twenty-eight states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.

In NC these are the laws... A woman may bf her child in any location public or private where a woman and the the child are authorized to be. (Interestingly enough NC is one of the 24 states where a woman can breastfeed covered or not legally for reference)

N.D. Cent. Code § 12.1-20-12.1 was amended in 2009 by Senate Bill 2344 to exempt the act of a woman discreetly breastfeeding her child from indecent exposure laws.

N.D. Cent. Code § 23-12-16 allows a woman to breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where the woman and child are otherwise authorized to be. (2009 SB 2344)

N.D. Cent. Code § 23-12-17 provides that an employer may use the designation “infant friendly” on its promotional materials if the employer adopts specified workplace breastfeeding policies, including scheduling breaks and permitting work patterns that provide time for expression of breast milk; providing a convenient, sanity, safe and private location other than a restroom for expressing breast milk; and a refrigerator in the workplace for the temporary storage of breast milk. The law also directs to the state department of health to establish guidelines for employers concerning workplace breastfeeding and infant friendly designations. (2009 SB 2344)

God bless,

GE

[GoldenEagle]

 

... I now realize you were only responding to my perceived lack of love or compassion to any and all breastfeeding women. That was not my intent. ...

 

 

We may not have to agree but that doesn't mean we can't get along.

 

Psalm 133:1

How wonderful and pleasant it is

    when brothers live together in harmony!

God bless,

GE

 

[firestormx]

 

... I now realize you were only responding to my perceived lack of love or compassion to any and all breastfeeding women. That was not my intent. ...

 

 

[TsukinoRei]

 

I think whether it was 20 years ago or 10 months ago... usually, a mom can plan around outings or work... breast pumps, etc.  I am glad you are not offended by women breastfeeding babies.  I'm not offended either.  I try not to deliberately make other people feel uncomfortable and that said, I never had an issue going to a private area when necessary out in public or when out visiting to nurse the kids.  Sorry for any confusion or distress - I haven't been on the forum for a long, long time.  I forgot how controversial everything becomes here.  Have a blessed day.

 

 

 

When we had our first child my wife wasn't treated properly I thought by those around her. Breastfeeding especially amongst more conservative people or older generations is seen as an inconvenience. Perhaps because in the 1950's to the 1980's there was such a big push for the whole bottle/formula thing?

 

In any case at least in part due to her not feeling comfortable with breastfeeding, our son being super squirmy, etc. she stopped nursing him around 8 months old. She would've liked to go longer but the baby was too squirmy and people IMO were too insensitive to her as a nursing mother. We're pregnant with our second child now and I'm going to encourage her to put the needs of our child before the discomfort in particular of total strangers. Perhaps this sheds some light on my frustration?

 

 

 

 

Congratulations!  You sound like a wonderfully supportive husband and father.  Many blessings to you and your family.  

 

 For myself, when I have a baby I will do my best to be modest but if am in a situation where I have to choose between modesty and the needs of my child, the child comes first.  If that makes some other people uncomfortable or stumbly then tough luck!  I feel similarly about modesty.  I'm not spending 8/10's of a super hot summer with heat stroke just so that some lecherous guy doesn't 'stumble' when he sees me!  Especially when so many men are walking around with their shirts off, sweaty chest and armpit hair long enough to braid waving in the wind!  Since putting on a bit of weight I've noticed that modest apparel has been narrowed down to suffocating high-neck sweatshirts.  No thank you!  If I catch some guy leering at me I feel pretty comfortable that my glare can unstumble him quite quickly.  A hand in the purse can make them think I have pepper spray too!  

 

There seems to be clear double standards at work between the genders, and it doesn't seem right or fair to me.  

Edited August 14, 2013 by TsukinoRei

[nebula]

I am going to have to agree with you and your husband on this one point. I can't imagine any man having a battle with lust because a woman is breastfeeding her baby? A guy like that has definitely got issues. I also wouldn't think of walking up to a woman who was breastfeeding her child and tell her she needs to cover herself. If I was that bothered by it, I would just look away. From a Biblical perspective, I do see Man's point with regard to not laying a stumbling block in front of others. I would just question someone with that kind of lust problem?

Nice to be in agreement with you!

I actually do see Man's point as well. Unfortunately, I was in defense-mode too much for this point to be brought out or clear. And I do apologize for this.

I agree that women shouldn't "let it all hang", but for those times a mother is in a bind, is it unscriptural to granted her some grace and leeway? This is what has been my concern. Seeing what mothers of babies have to go through - it's exhausting!

[JDavis]

Grace is the Word

From the Word.

1 Corinthians 8

9 But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.

<snip>

13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.

Romans 14

13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

and without grace those verses become a nice club to force other to do what you would have them do.

Colossians 4:6

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Ephesians 4:32

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

I Corinthians 13:2

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

I wanted to say I am sorry for any offense. I guess if I would have just come out and spelled out my thoughts, completely in one post, it would have saved a lot of problems.

Breastfeeding under most circumstances is fine and I see no problem with it. Because most use modesty in doing so, trying not to reveal themselves. But I have also seen women who didn't care who saw what or who it offended, all the while proclaiming to be Christian. It's the later that I was addressing. Of course all women should be shown respect, grace and love at all times. But no believer should use their freedom to cause another to stumble. Most of the time, this is not the case. But it does happen, I have seen it.

Have you ever seen breastfeeding sit-in protests? That is a great example of what I meant about for show. There are 2 sides to this issue. I truly thought you and others were saying that because a woman breastfeeds, she can do anything she wants, because the bible says we have to show her love. If she causes someone to stumble, then to bad, oh well, it's there problem. She has no responsibility to show compassion or love. No responsibility to think of anyone but herself and baby. The fact she chooses to exercise no or little modesty is irrelevant. She can do what she wants because she is breastfeeding. To use something you said in the quote above, I thought you were using the word to control everyone who may be offended by it. or to quote you word for word, " without grace those verses become a nice club to force other to do what you would have them do."

I thought you were doing exactly what you thought I was doing. I now realize you were only responding to my perceived lack of love or compassion to any and all breastfeeding women. That was not my intent. I am sorry for any offense. I will make an true effort to be more clear in the future and try to explain myself fully. Remembering to try to see things from the other point of view.

If you have any other questions, please ask. I will try to give a full answer.

God Bless You

Firestormx

Joseph

Joseph,

Thank you and I to apologize for my frustration and negative comments.

We have had very different experiences, which has caused us to view the same issue from two different points of view.

I attended a church for a short time that used these passages about stumbling as a tool to control the people of the church.

Drinking beer.....someone might see you buy it and stumble

Rock and roll music....someone might have listened to it while using drugs and you could make them stumble.

The list was almost endless

[JustinM]

I wonder how many pro-choice people are offended by public breastfeeding. . .