Fed up with wife!

[carlos123]

Here's a new situation between me and my wife for you all to give input on (if you don't mind doing so) .

I walk in from out of the snow outside. My boots are wet with snow. So I wait on the entry carpet for a few minutes and stamp my feet around until they are reasonably dry and then walk gingerly on the hallway carpet to talk to my wife who is the bedroom. I'm going back out in a few minutes.

Well she comes out and gets her toes just a wee bit wet from apparently left over snow still on my boots.

She starts calling me childish, that I don't respect her, that I am not thinking, and so forth. Insulting the heck out of me when all I did was think that they were dry enough to warrant walking over to talk to my wife.

I reacted okay though I did tell her that she was the one acting childish by seeming to throw a temper tantrum. I walked away from the conversation and went about my business.

I have no anger in my heart this time (which is very odd) and I will be cleaning the snow off her car and starting it in a minute or two.

Any input on how I should have handled this better? Short of taking my boots off every time I come in the house (a real pain) is there a good compromise? Should I always and in every way take my footwear off and cater to her desire no matter how much I may feel that such is ridiculous?

Carlos

[stilllearnin']

Super Jew and Tess, I have heard advice from never married people before that left me thinking 'yeah, well wait til you are married', but you two have such biblical insights into this topic that I am truly amazed!!!

Carlos, sounds like you are growing by leaps and bounds and are so willing to take advice,

Colleen

[apothanein kerdos]

Dude, just take the boots off

Stilllearnin, thanks. A lot of it comes from just asking married couples questions and reading the Bible.

[carlos123]

Dude, just take the boots off

Now hold on jest a minet heer . Does that mean that us men need to do whatever our wives want in however way they want us to do it and whenever they want us to? Not saying that taking my boots off may not be the more Christ-like thing to do mind you. Just wondering though, do you have any verses that might help me to realize that taking my boots off is the more Christ-like thing to do? I'm being serious about the verses Super Jew.

Taking yer boots off every time you walk in the house may not be a big deal to you Super Jew but it's quite a hassle for me to do. Given that oftentimes I will step in for a minute to grab something before turning around and heading back out again.

I'm willing just not very enthused about such a thing. It'd be as if your wife (when and if you get married) told you to go out and replace your toothbrush every month and to make sure that you buy only Colgate toothpaste because that's the only kind she likes in the house. Calling you childish and unthinking and inconsiderate if you did otherwise and bought yourself some Crest.

Have you ever been to a doctor's office or other such place where there is a sign that says to take yer boots off? Well I'm the kind of guy that never does given that I figures I am paying them good money for the visit so why should I bother taking my boots off. Of course with the wife it's not quite the same mind you .

Carlos

PS. Incidentally why do you call yourself Super Jew? Feel free to PM me if you don't way to say publicly. Just curious. Regardless do you mind if I call you SJ? Referring to you as "Super Jew" still strikes me as rather ackward though I will continue calling you that if you want.

Edited December 6, 2004 by carlos123

[larryt]

Hi Carlos,

I understand just how you feel about the boots. I used to live upstate NY. We got anywhere from 40-80 inches of snow every year. There was snow on the ground Nov. to April. My wife and I were of the same mind about the snow and walking in the house. I got my wife some plush sheepskin slippers though and that kept her feet warm and she couldn't feel the snow drips on the carpet. I had Sorels and they were easy on and off so I tried to remove them when I came in as often as I could. There were times though when It wasn't practical to take them off all the time. We now live in WA and the snow is not a problem any longer.

1Pe 3:7  Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Guys are like buckets - Gals are like vases.

LT

[carlos123]

Hey Larry,

I understand just how you feel about the boots.  I used to live upstate NY.  We got anywhere from 40-80 inches of snow every year. 

I absolutely 100% HATE snow. I've been looking for a verse in the Bible for years that says the Lord does not want His children to live where there is snow. I know it's in there somewhere. I just haven't found it yet so I remain ever obedient living in a frozen tundra land waiting on the Lord to deliver me from my affliction .

There was snow on the ground Nov. to April. 

And I thought I had it bad up here in Canada. I'll have to watch out for callings to New York . Perhaps I still have some attitude adjustments still needed regarding snow

My wife and I were of the same mind about the snow and walking in the house.  I got my wife some plush sheepskin slippers though and that kept her feet warm and she couldn't feel the snow drips on the carpet. 

Hmmm....that gives me an idea. I recently visited a Hoterite community and saw them using some kind of little blanket that they put their feet on (with shoes on) such that they could walk around the house and not get the floor wet with snow when they came in for a short time. It was really neat. Maybe I will suggest that to my wife and maybe make myself a Christmas gift so that she can give it to me and help me keep the floor dry .... I mean make her a Christmas gift so that she can keep her feet dry ... hmmm....I mean....oh never mind I'll give her something else. Still it's a good idea. Maybe I'll make me a giant slipper. I'll have to talk to my wife when she is in a good mood and see what she thinks .

As for slippers for my wife well....both her and our one remaining daugher don't like walking around in slippers. It's either socks or barefoot. Had a few good fights over that one too as I saw our poor carpets eventually getting full of human foot smell and/or foot jam or human skin oil. I lost that fight . Oh well these days I can't smell anything anyway. My nose is always plugged up from the dry air.

Carlos

PS. My wife and daughter's feet actually don't smell too bad (I think....putting my foot in my mouth deeper here - boy this is turning into quite the foot joke) but I thought I would be a little comedic about the whole thing.

Edited December 6, 2004 by carlos123

[larryt]

Carlos,

Where in Canada are you? My son- in-law is from Ft. Nelson, B.C. He lives here in WA near us now.

LT

[carlos123]

Where in Canada are you?  My son- in-law is from Ft. Nelson, B.C.  He lives here in WA near us now.

I am in Western Canada somewhere is about all I feel comfortable saying at this point Larry. Hope you don't mind but I wouldn't anyone to trace where I am and come knocking on my door asking if I'm the guy who can't stand foot odors in the carpet if you know what I mean. Carpet cleaning companies would love to find out where I am I think .

Carlos

Edited December 6, 2004 by carlos123

[ayin jade]

I reacted okay though I did tell her that she was the one acting childish by seeming to throw a temper tantrum.  I walked away from the conversation and went about my business. 

I have no anger in my heart this time (which is very odd) and I will be cleaning the snow off her car and starting it in a minute or two. 

Any input on how I should have handled this better?  Short of taking my boots off every time I come in the house (a real pain) is there a good compromise?  Should I always and in every way take my footwear off and cater to her desire no matter how much I may feel that such is ridiculous? 

Carlos

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am so glad you had no anger in your heart. This is definitely a step in the right direction.

If you want her to listen to you....wait until she is cooled off. Then tell her "honey Im sorry this upset you. I will take your feelings into consideration." Somehow work in there, gently, that she kinda overreacted in your view. When she is cooled off, she might see that and be convicted to change. At the same time, she sees that you have respected her wishes too. Please note that you have not apologized for anything wrong here. Only that you regret that she got upset.

You know, perhaps you can keep a towel by the door to towel the snow and wetness off your boots. Let her know you will do that and perhaps that might make things better. I would object to wetness too. Yet I can see how removing them would be a pain. This might be a solution. There may still be wetness, yet you have made an effort to remove more from your boots.

I have thought it might be good to bring her in here. The only concern I have is that she might be a bit upset that you brought this into the public eye, even though she cant be identified. Pray and see if the Lord leads you to bring her to this thread. Believe me, those of us on this thread will tell her the truth, gently, just as we have with you.

[stilllearnin']

Hi, sounds like putting those little blanket thingies over your boots is a great solution! The floor stays dry and you don't have to go through the hassle of taking your boots on and off every few minutes, I know what a pain that can be!

Colleen