Spirituality

[dms0791]

Before I get into this, I just want to clarify something.  I have been saved, and I am not on a bad path of life.  I know for certain I have connected with God in ways that I have never connected with him in my life before.  I mean, of course you have to consider that you only know what you know of me from what it is that you have learned through my words.  People are always weary of me when it comes to this topic, and it makes sense to be because if I were the person on the other side then I would be weary as well.  You can only trust those you are certain with your heart that are not going to put harm upon you.  I have always been a person who has pushed people away from my life, but God is telling me that he wants me to draw out, and I just want to comment on the fact that this is extremely scary for me.  I am not very social as a person in real life, and when it comes to the spiritual side of the spectrum it makes me even shyer.  But, I am trying my best to conquer some fears.  So I ask you while you are reading this, if you take the time to do so, please have an open mind and please be delicate with me.  Because I will be honest with you, if I get a response that i feel is meant in a way to tell me how I feel and what I am experiencing is wrong--then I am going to never come back here.  I don't know you guys, and you guys don't know me.  So I am trying to take the first step in giving you a bit of who I am, to try and see if this is apart of what God wants me to do in reaching out.  I am way better in words, on the keyboard, than I am in person and trying to get to know someone.  I just want to make friends, but I feel like I just always do something wrong.  But I know I cannot be alone in this, and the best way to come full circle in the plan that God has for me is to have people who are farther along the path of light than myself intervene in my life or share words of wisdom like they are doing in my church in order to completely grow.  

 

I don't know how to go about this, all I know is I just trust God to give me the words to convey specifically what it is that needs to be said.  I want to let it all out, and if its a bit "raw to the point" sort of honesty, then forgive me because I guess that's what needs to be done.  I guess I should stop trying to say sorry for what I am about to say and instead say it.  Like I said, I am afraid because this is a big side of me that is extremely personal and I am afraid to share with others because the last thing I want is to put people off or make them afraid or think I am nuts.  Because I am not crazy, and I am sick of living in a life where I go back and forth from these experiences as they constantly stare me in the face and they make me feel like I am.  I am trying to embrace them, and you know I am trying to find a way to put forth good works with them for the Lord in order to make this exactly what it is that he needs to have done.  I love you Lord, please give me the words to say when I enter into my next paragraph.  As you can see, these are my direct thoughts coming out right into the post.

 

Okay, so I mentioned briefly in the chat today that I have the ability to visually enter into the spiritual realm.  I said it loosely, because you know how am I supposed to know what people are going to say and how they are going to react?  Again, I don't know any of you, and this is hard for me.  I know that Lord Jesus Christ came into the flesh, okay? I know he is my Lord, and the only spirit that I can communicate with is the Holy Spirit.  He has taken all of the darkness out of my life, and in the past all I used to see were demons and malevolent beings.  But, again I am saved, and that is not what I see any longer.  I am much more sound minded in everything that is happening in my life.  I have a good focus, and if you had known me before the fall semester of 2013 at my college had started, you would have felt the darkness.  I have had moments in my life you would not even begin to understand, okay, I have seen dark spirits in a way that people would hate to have knowledge of.  One thing I have learned when it comes to the darker experiences, I need to keep it to myself.  I could go on and on with stories, but that is not the point of the message.  Because I am just learning you guys, and you guys are just learning me as well, and I am afraid to put you off.  I want to really find someone I can just connect with, a friend that is completely open minded, or perhaps I should start a blog and just let all of what I have been keeping locked up in my mind be set free.... maybe it's time that I talk about the dark experiences in order to even more so embrace God's light.  I love him, and he had been shaping and molding and changing me so much for the better.  I know he has because I have not seen one demon ever since I have been saved, and all I ever see anymore are angels.

 

This is also subject to, of course, what it is that you believe in.  Some people are going to look at this message, my confession, and they are going to think I am nuts.  Well, I say bring it on, okay?  You don't know me, and all I am trying to do is reach out.  I am not going to change what I know is real in front of my eyes, so if you feel the need to tell me that what I am not seeing is real then I am sorry that you cannot see it yourself.  I am doing my best to learn a way to share this with the world, and the only way to share is by passing on my experiences either by word of mouth or through writing which is my major outlet of all.  I just am almost to tears because you have no idea how badly I have wanted to get this off my chest, how much I want to get off my chest, so many memories and things happening in my mind that I just need to release...I don't know.  Only God knows.  And you know, people keep telling me that I should just take the time to let it all unfold.  You are saying that to someone who has spent 22 years in silence, someone who has 22 years worth of visual feedback from the spiritual realm to release and express and share with everyone.  Those of you who have seen it for yourselves, because I know I am not entirely alone, will know what I mean.  I think that we all have our own way of experiencing it, but I want to find someone or some people I can trust...because other than God, and my Pastor, I hardly have anyone. And do you know how hard it is in the world to express these things?  There's a reason why those of us with gifts shy away from the chance of opening up.

 

I feel good now, I feel some peace in me, and I think I have gotten out at this moment what I feel needs to be said.  I look forward to responses, hopefully I get at least one, and if not I will just be patient and let what happens happen.  God bless you all, and have a great holiday season.  Sorry for the bluntness, I assure you this was not that easy to get off my chest.

 

-Dee

Edited December 8, 2013 by SilentLamb

[Fez]

Ok, lets take this slowly, one step at a time, because you have unburdened a lot, and it took a lot out of you to write it.

 

One question to start,

 

Okay, so I mentioned briefly in the chat today that I have the ability to visually enter into the spiritual realm.

 

How do you do that and what do you see?

 

Relax it's not an attack, it is me setting my own guidelines for this discussion.

[dms0791]

Ok, lets take this slowly, one step at a time, because you have unburdened a lot, and it took a lot out of you to write it.

 

One question to start,

 

Okay, so I mentioned briefly in the chat today that I have the ability to visually enter into the spiritual realm.

 

How do you do that and what do you see?

 

Relax it's not an attack, it is me setting my own guidelines for this discussion.

I have been doing it my entire life.  I see angels around me with my physical eyes all of the time.  But it is not me who does it, the Lord does it through me.  Without God, I would not be able to do any of this.  The Holy Spirit pours all over me, and I can look into people's souls, and I can look around all of their life just in the moment I am talking with them (generally this is one on one contact because I have never tried to actually ask God to implement this through the computer screen not sure how that would work) God gives me feelings that I try to convey with his spirit through my words.  For example, today at church I was talking to a friend.  I looked at him while he was having a conversation with me, but I was not looking at him exactly, the Holy Spirit was looking at him through me.  I told him I am not sure where God is going with this, but I feel like you have something going on in your life that is a bit unsettling.  I did not ask him what it was because I did not want to know, nor did I need to know.  All I did was relay to him that I saw angels all around his life right now, and that whatever was going on in his life God was with him, and that he did not need to be afraid.  I can see when demons or angels are present in people's lives.  I cannot predict the future, and I cannot read minds, nor would I want to because that is not my place to do.  

 

Sorry I always feel like I have to overly explain myself to make people understand I am not plagued by demons or have darkness within me.  I just want to get the truth across as accurately and openly as possible.  If you need to ask any more questions, feel free to ask them, I am not going to run away unless someone literally tells me this experience of mine is wrong because I know for a fact that it is not.  

 

 

***I just wanted to add that God can do anything so me being able to help others through a computer screen regardless of how it is done would still be possible.  I cannot limit him.

Edited December 8, 2013 by SilentLamb

[missmuffet]

Interesting.What do the angels look like?Have you ever had any contact with those who are not living?

[watchman]

Silent,

I was one of the chatters talking with you in chat a few days ago when you were talking  about discovering what God wanted to do in your life.  My goal at that time was to encourage you on your journey as my goal is now.

 

But I am troubled as to why you would post a long and sincere post about what is going on in your life, what you are experiencing and how you feel, and not want anyone responding to your post to not do the same!  quote:  "Because I will be honest with you, if I get a response that i feel is meant in a way to tell me how I feel and what I am experiencing is wrong--then I am going to never come back here." I would hope that you were not merely seeking validation for your position!

 

Instead of asking questions of other members of this site, I think you would benefit from searching what God's Word has to say on the subject.  I for one would not and cannot tell you what you have experienced or felt because you were there when it happened, right? 

 

In the early days of the church, signs, wonders and mighty deeds were done to validate the message that chosen speakers were preaching.  Once the Bible was completed, there was no longer a need to "perform" any kind of a sign because the completed Word was more than sufficient to guide and instruct the readers.  2Ti 3:16-17  All Scripture is God breathed, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfected, thoroughly furnished to every good work.

 

God will not disagree with His written Word.  Based on that fact, I would invite you to find any Biblical support or evidence for what you believe is of God.

 

thanks and God bless

watchman

[RustyAngeL]

Interesting.What do the angels look like?Have you ever had any contact with those who are not living?

This is what I don't like.  No one has ever spoken to anyone who is no longer alive.  That comes from the occult.  I don't think Christians belong even being a part of things like this.  Now we have people wanting to know if you  have ever talked  with the dead.  This very dangerous territory.  

 

Nothing in scripture supports this and for a new believer it could be very disastrous . To me this is right into what I would call New Age.   

 

I'm glad your here and you have questions. But you basically said if anyone disagreed with you would  not come back?  Are you  not willing to have an open discussion even if we don't agree?

[Fez]

 

Ok, lets take this slowly, one step at a time, because you have unburdened a lot, and it took a lot out of you to write it.

 

One question to start,

 

Okay, so I mentioned briefly in the chat today that I have the ability to visually enter into the spiritual realm.

 

How do you do that and what do you see?

 

Relax it's not an attack, it is me setting my own guidelines for this discussion.

I have been doing it my entire life.  I see angels around me with my physical eyes all of the time.  But it is not me who does it, the Lord does it through me.  Without God, I would not be able to do any of this.  The Holy Spirit pours all over me, and I can look into people's souls, and I can look around all of their life just in the moment I am talking with them (generally this is one on one contact because I have never tried to actually ask God to implement this through the computer screen not sure how that would work) God gives me feelings that I try to convey with his spirit through my words.  For example, today at church I was talking to a friend.  I looked at him while he was having a conversation with me, but I was not looking at him exactly, the Holy Spirit was looking at him through me.  I told him I am not sure where God is going with this, but I feel like you have something going on in your life that is a bit unsettling.  I did not ask him what it was because I did not want to know, nor did I need to know.  All I did was relay to him that I saw angels all around his life right now, and that whatever was going on in his life God was with him, and that he did not need to be afraid.  I can see when demons or angels are present in people's lives.  I cannot predict the future, and I cannot read minds, nor would I want to because that is not my place to do.  

 

Sorry I always feel like I have to overly explain myself to make people understand I am not plagued by demons or have darkness within me.  I just want to get the truth across as accurately and openly as possible.  If you need to ask any more questions, feel free to ask them, I am not going to run away unless someone literally tells me this experience of mine is wrong because I know for a fact that it is not.  

 

 

***I just wanted to add that God can do anything so me being able to help others through a computer screen regardless of how it is done would still be possible.  I cannot limit him.

 

Thank you. It is good that you attend a church, I am a supporter of attending church!

 

What do your pastor or elders have to say about your experiences?

[dms0791]

Interesting.What do the angels look like?Have you ever had any contact with those who are not living?

 

The bible doesn't talk about anywhere that the deceased are capable of coming back to earth after passing on.  You spent your time here, and then you go to Paradise.  As for these experiences, I am not trying to cause any problems here, so I will not be using this thread as a means to boldly stand out about what I experience.

[dms0791]

Silent,

I was one of the chatters talking with you in chat a few days ago when you were talking  about discovering what God wanted to do in your life.  My goal at that time was to encourage you on your journey as my goal is now.

 

But I am troubled as to why you would post a long and sincere post about what is going on in your life, what you are experiencing and how you feel, and not want anyone responding to your post to not do the same!  quote:  "Because I will be honest with you, if I get a response that i feel is meant in a way to tell me how I feel and what I am experiencing is wrong--then I am going to never come back here." I would hope that you were not merely seeking validation for your position!

 

Instead of asking questions of other members of this site, I think you would benefit from searching what God's Word has to say on the subject.  I for one would not and cannot tell you what you have experienced or felt because you were there when it happened, right? 

 

In the early days of the church, signs, wonders and mighty deeds were done to validate the message that chosen speakers were preaching.  Once the Bible was completed, there was no longer a need to "perform" any kind of a sign because the completed Word was more than sufficient to guide and instruct the readers.  2Ti 3:16-17  All Scripture is God breathed, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfected, thoroughly furnished to every good work.

 

God will not disagree with His written Word.  Based on that fact, I would invite you to find any Biblical support or evidence for what you believe is of God.

 

thanks and God bless

watchman

 

The reason I even brought this to the attention of others is because I am seeking to learn.  I am trying to understand what I am going through, and I am trying to grow in my relationship with God in order to be able to accurately deal with this.  I said that I would never come back because I am obviously, from the way this is written, allowing you into something that is personal to me.  I don't talk about this often, and none of the posts that I have yet read seem like an attack...I am shy, and I would like to meet new friends here, but if this didn't go well I meant that what I said which was rather boldly (which I commented on and apologized for) that I was probably not going to be able to handle it.  That was what I was worried about.  I am trying to branch out to completely understand if what I am going through is of a Godly nature, or if there is something else. Is it not better to have confirmation with other believers who are farther along than yourself in the spiritual path in order to grow?  I am trying to find wiser minds who can provide me guidance in order to help me shape my beliefs as I go along.  To cut out what is evil, and to bring in only what is good.

 

And it's not that I do not, or have not, been searching the Word to confirm what is going on to me.  I have been reading and analyzing the Word since I returned to my Faith, and I have been working closely with my Pastor in my experiences.  There are other people in my church who have confirmed what I have seen is truth because they themselves have seen the angels as well.  There are other people who have felt that I have some sort of gift from the moment that I started going to the church I go to.  My Pastor is open minded, and each time I get a dream, we sit down and talk about these dreams.  But that is not what we are talking about here, we are talking about the discernment of spirits.

[dms0791]

 

Interesting.What do the angels look like?Have you ever had any contact with those who are not living?

This is what I don't like.  No one has ever spoken to anyone who is no longer alive.  That comes from the occult.  I don't think Christians belong even being a part of things like this.  Now we have people wanting to know if you  have ever talked  with the dead.  This very dangerous territory.  

 

Nothing in scripture supports this and for a new believer it could be very disastrous . To me this is right into what I would call New Age.   

 

I'm glad your here and you have questions. But you basically said if anyone disagreed with you would  not come back?  Are you  not willing to have an open discussion even if we don't agree?

 

I have never talked with the dead.  What I thought was the dead, from what I have confirmed with the Bible, were Satan's spirits tricking me with deception by taking on personas that seemed heavenly or "safe" to me.  They would do so in order to get in my good graces, and to mess with me.  I went through many periods of time before I was saved trying to come to terms with the fact that I was capable of seeing such darkness.  That was what scared me away from coming to the light, and trying to focus on God in the first place.  Because it always seemed so hard to do, and at that point I had developed years of distrust with anything in the spiritual realm.  I eventually put myself into therapy, trying to use my rational mind in order to comprehend why God would ever make me have to see things like this.  I openly expressed my experiences with a therapist, and I went through the process to see if I were diagnosed with anything mentally.  They concluded I was not insane because of the way that I acted, and they said that the reason I was "seeing things" was because of lack of sleep.  Which it was not true, and over time I accepted the fact that this was not going to go anywhere and I would need to find a spiritual way of dealing with this.  A voice always hung in my mind constantly telling me that "those who exploit their gifts are not of a Godly nature," and it put me off from trying to seek out mediums and psychics who ask for money to speak with the dead, etc.

 

So, you know, I dilly dallied for a few years doing my best to ignore it.  They came in waves, whenever in my life, moving from being constant around me to hardly at all.  I always had that whisper, like I am sure everyone has, to go back to church.  I was afraid of it, because like I said I had grown an extreme distrust in all people around me especially this spiritual experience I had.  Because people always pushed me away from fear of not understanding when I opened up, and then I could obviously never trust what was going on in  the sense I was dealing with due to the fact that I would have just ran myself into a hole trying to figure it out on my own.  I assure you this was not something I could have dealt with alone, and God knows that, in the beginning I needed all the help I could get to bring only lightness around me.  I found a church, through a dream that I had and a radio advertisement, that God told me that he wanted me to go to.  I was hesitant, but then he poured peace all over me, and he constantly reminded me in my head that it was time to come back to him.

 

So, I went to the church, and I became apart of the church family.  I am still a newcomer, but I am now a regular attendee.  it is of the nondenominational christian descent, and my Pastor despite having only known me a few months has welcomed me as his own daughter with open arms.  Other members of the church who have gifts of spiritual discernment have helped me as well.  They have shown me the tools I needed to assess what is light, and what is dark, and after being saved I know I can say that I do not see darkness any longer.  I only see angels, and with the help of the Bible I learned that all of the points where I thought a spirit was "reaching out to me" who was a loved one that had passed on, was not a loved one at all.  I did not commit to talking to them for long, because I figured it out and my trust was betrayed, but I did at moments talk to these spirits.  I felt alone, and they preyed on my loneliness.  Now I do not feel alone any longer because the Holy Spirit acts as a Father to me.  He has increased the strength of my dreams, and when I am asleep at night he uses this dream tactic to step into them and teach me ways to use my gift from God as a tool for the purpose he has for me.

 

I write and analyze different verses from the Bible in my own independent study constantly.  Whenever I am unsure of anything regarding my spiritual experiences, I always consult the Bible or speak with others who have more knowledge than myself in order to combat the situation.  I have come to fully recognize what is false, and what I know is truth.  The more and more I work with the Holy Spirit on my gifts, the stronger they become.  I am fearful only because this is such a drastic change, but at the same time I am happy and thankful because I know that the gifts of mine are truly within God because it has only been since my return to the Church and getting a second baptism and becoming truly saved that I have had such deeper, and stronger, experiences than I used to.  Any time you the Lord puts you out of your comfort zone, my Pastor says, it is always a good thing.  I just need to take time and to be patient and continue to work with God on what it is he wants for me to use this gift with.