Why do some professing Christians seem cold?

[Guest]

Just now, Davida said:

Thanks Bejewel I will check it out.

You are going to love it! The man loves the LORD!

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Yowm said:

I heard him once a couple months ago but don't recall the topic.

Check it out brother! You wont forget this one.

Blessings  

[Guest]

7 minutes ago, Yowm said:

tomorrow  zzzz

I hear ya. Im about there myself!

[HisFirst]

2 hours ago, gemstone777 said:

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and insights.  As I said before this post was just so I could make three posts to get into chat, lol.  It wasn't meant to be a place of debate, but a loving, heartfelt discussion of how to process these thing that break my heart, and I believe that Christ disapproves of because of instructions in His Word.

 I have too many friends/family that have gotten out of church because of grave wounds, not petty stuff.  Some are bitter, and yes they are wrong and need to heal, but sometimes depending on the level of hurt/offense it takes time.  Being harsh with people that are already wounded won't help them to heal, it will just further show them lack of genuine concern, and they will perceive it as unloving.   This is not coming from a place of complaint, but observation of seeing others wounded and wronged, and saying that it's not how God says it should be.  Jesus took the plight of the lowly, the sinner, and He was not self righteous.  I don't think I'm better than anyone, and stuff like this makes me see how I don't want to hurt anyone and keep them away from Christ, or growing in Christ. I think we all should desire unity, love, and peace in the body, and work towards creating that environment.  Sure, sometimes things have to be confronted that are wrong, and people aren't going to receive that well.  

A few of you have asked for examples of how churches/Christians have wounded other believers/seekers.  I have many, but these are some that came to mind.  After I share these, I probably won't be commenting on every post, as I feel I've already said my perception, interpretation, and ideas on this situation.  I wish you all well on your journey with the Lord.  Let us strive to love the Lord and others!   

* A friend from a previous employer that is not a Christian that I had invited to church said that he wouldn't come.  When I asked him why, he told me he that he was wounded by a church leader.  He went on to share his story of how when he was a little boy he went to church.  He came from a broken home, and his mom had kids by different men.  There was a male leader in the church that took an interest in him and sort of was a mentor.  There was a father/son outing coming up, and his dad was not in his life.  He overheard one of the pastors and his mentor in the church talking.  The pastor said to my friend's mentor, "Why don't you take the boy you have been mentoring (my friend) to the father/son outing?"  His mentor friend said, "Are you kidding me!  That little "bastard!"  Then both the pastor and his mentor began laughing.  After that he said he wouldn't set foot in church again, and he hasn't.  He remains an unbeliever to this day.

* A brother in Christ who was single (20s/never married) at the time was serving as a youth leader in his church.  He was working with the males since he was a male.  He would play basketball with them, watch football games, go out to lunch, help them with school, and also disciple/mentor them.  He had no complaints from children or their parents, and was influencing the kids in a Christ-like way.  Then, the music pastor felt convicted to share with my friend something that was said because his boys were involved in the ministry and he knew my friend's character was being dragged through the mud unjustly.  He disclosed to my friend that the Senior Pastor had said that he had an unhealthy interest in boys because he was spending so much of his time pouring into them, and accused him of homosexual tendency/desires that were not there and untrue.  That pastor damaged my friend's character unjustly by wrongful use of his position of power/influence and the use of his tongue to harm my friend's walk.  My friend was not as strong in his faith as he is now, and he left the church and said, "If this is what Christianity is, I don't want any part of it!"  He left the church for 5 years wounded before God drew him back and used another pastor's love and kindness to help him heal.  Think of what a servant of the Lord could have done in that 5 years!  Thankfully, God helped him to heal.  He went on to be a pastor himself and now he knows how not to treat people because of what he went through.

*A single female friend of mine had a divorced guy from her church that played in the worship band over to help fix something in her home.  After he had completed the project they were sitting on her couch talking and she thanked him for helping her.  He began to kiss her against her will and unzip her pants.  She screamed, yelled, and tried to fight him off and he finally got off of her and left.  She felt if she hadn't screamed loud and pushed/kicked him off of her, he would have raped her.  When she asked me what she should do (because of the nature of the situation) I felt that she needed to talk with the pastor and get him involved, maybe even criminal charges needed to be considered.  The Senior Pastor of her church said, "We don't use the R (for rape) word around here.  You need to drop this."  He was more concerned about the image of his church then he was about my friend's well being and that she was almost a victim of rape.  Because she respected the pastor's authority, she never addressed the situation.  It made it hard for her to trust men after that.  Thankfully, she is still serving the Lord and many years after this incident she did marry.  

*An elderly female friend that's a widow was a big servant in her church.  She had 2 husbands die, one of her children was hit by a car and killed at a young age, and she struggled with depression because of those things.  She is a very caring, loving, serving, giving, and sensitive person.  Some of the other elderly women in the church did not like the attention that she got because people liked her because of how she served the Lord.  They started gossiping about her, damaging her character, and making others turn against her.  My friend went to the pastor for counseling for her depression/thoughts of suicide.  He told other people in the church (including some of these women) in the name of " requested prayer" that she was, "A sad soul, needing help, and that she wasn't right in the head."  He basically gave her enemies fuel to further harm her character and attack her instead of loving her and getting her the help she needed.  The church leadership had a meeting to let both sides confront one another to allegedly squash the issue.  When they had the meeting only the other ladies were allowed to bring people for their side, and she was left alone to defend herself.  She was attacked and belittled in the meeting.  Due to this, she and others left their church, a mild church split, and there are grave wounds and disunity in the Universal body of believers.  She is currently out of church because of how she was harmed, and is still depressed.

*When my husband pastored in the inner city there was a very poor disabled lady that would come to church.  She was often unbathed, unkept, and she lived in a home that in some places would be condemned/torn down.  Some of the elders, their wives, and suburbanite church people would not shake her hand or talk to her.  They would also sometimes give looks of disgust and would not approach her.  She sat beside me every week and would give her dollar each week, which for her was sacrificial.  She did have an odor to her that was unpleasant, but nowhere in the Bible does is say that we aren't to love people that smell badly.  This lack of love would keep some out of church.  Last I knew after we left that ministry, she is no longer in church.  

I could come up with several more, but these are some of the observations that I've seen as to why people have been deeply hurt which can hinder their growth or make them not want to be a Christian at all.  I desire for people to know the love, mercy, and grace of Christ.  They will not hear the words if our actions as Christians are not meeting the message of love, mercy, and grace.  I know God is a just God, and that doesn't mean we don't call sin what it is, but there must be a balance in all things in order for us to accomplish what He has put before us to do.    

Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

James 2:13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others.  But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you.   

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

Love always in Christ, Gem

Thank you so much Gem, this post right here has spoken volumes - you have no idea how perfect this timing (God's timing is)!! 

Your post here has helped counsel me

[Gemstone777]

33 minutes ago, HisFirst said:

Thank you so much Gem, this post right here has spoken volumes - you have no idea how perfect this timing (God's timing is)!! 

Your post here has helped counsel me

You're welcome HisFirst, it's what the Lord put on my heart to share.  He often uses others to speak to my heart when I need encouragement or direction.  By the way, I really like your screen name!  May God continue to lift you up and grow us all closer to Him!  (((Hugs)))

[Heleadethme]

8 hours ago, gemstone777 said:

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and insights.  As I said before this post was just so I could make three posts to get into chat, lol.  It wasn't meant to be a place of debate, but a loving, heartfelt discussion of how to process these thing that break my heart, and I believe that Christ disapproves of because of instructions in His Word.

 I have too many friends/family that have gotten out of church because of grave wounds, not petty stuff.  Some are bitter, and yes they are wrong and need to heal, but sometimes depending on the level of hurt/offense it takes time.  Being harsh with people that are already wounded won't help them to heal, it will just further show them lack of genuine concern, and they will perceive it as unloving.   This is not coming from a place of complaint, but observation of seeing others wounded and wronged, and saying that it's not how God says it should be.  Jesus took the plight of the lowly, the sinner, and He was not self righteous.  I don't think I'm better than anyone, and stuff like this makes me see how I don't want to hurt anyone and keep them away from Christ, or growing in Christ. I think we all should desire unity, love, and peace in the body, and work towards creating that environment.  Sure, sometimes things have to be confronted that are wrong, and people aren't going to receive that well.  

A few of you have asked for examples of how churches/Christians have wounded other believers/seekers.  I have many, but these are some that came to mind.  After I share these, I probably won't be commenting on every post, as I feel I've already said my perception, interpretation, and ideas on this situation.  I wish you all well on your journey with the Lord.  Let us strive to love the Lord and others!   

* A friend from a previous employer that is not a Christian that I had invited to church said that he wouldn't come.  When I asked him why, he told me he that he was wounded by a church leader.  He went on to share his story of how when he was a little boy he went to church.  He came from a broken home, and his mom had kids by different men.  There was a male leader in the church that took an interest in him and sort of was a mentor.  There was a father/son outing coming up, and his dad was not in his life.  He overheard one of the pastors and his mentor in the church talking.  The pastor said to my friend's mentor, "Why don't you take the boy you have been mentoring (my friend) to the father/son outing?"  His mentor friend said, "Are you kidding me!  That little "bastard!"  Then both the pastor and his mentor began laughing.  After that he said he wouldn't set foot in church again, and he hasn't.  He remains an unbeliever to this day.

* A brother in Christ who was single (20s/never married) at the time was serving as a youth leader in his church.  He was working with the males since he was a male.  He would play basketball with them, watch football games, go out to lunch, help them with school, and also disciple/mentor them.  He had no complaints from children or their parents, and was influencing the kids in a Christ-like way.  Then, the music pastor felt convicted to share with my friend something that was said because his boys were involved in the ministry and he knew my friend's character was being dragged through the mud unjustly.  He disclosed to my friend that the Senior Pastor had said that he had an unhealthy interest in boys because he was spending so much of his time pouring into them, and accused him of homosexual tendency/desires that were not there and untrue.  That pastor damaged my friend's character unjustly by wrongful use of his position of power/influence and the use of his tongue to harm my friend's walk.  My friend was not as strong in his faith as he is now, and he left the church and said, "If this is what Christianity is, I don't want any part of it!"  He left the church for 5 years wounded before God drew him back and used another pastor's love and kindness to help him heal.  Think of what a servant of the Lord could have done in that 5 years!  Thankfully, God helped him to heal.  He went on to be a pastor himself and now he knows how not to treat people because of what he went through.

*A single female friend of mine had a divorced guy from her church that played in the worship band over to help fix something in her home.  After he had completed the project they were sitting on her couch talking and she thanked him for helping her.  He began to kiss her against her will and unzip her pants.  She screamed, yelled, and tried to fight him off and he finally got off of her and left.  She felt if she hadn't screamed loud and pushed/kicked him off of her, he would have raped her.  When she asked me what she should do (because of the nature of the situation) I felt that she needed to talk with the pastor and get him involved, maybe even criminal charges needed to be considered.  The Senior Pastor of her church said, "We don't use the R (for rape) word around here.  You need to drop this."  He was more concerned about the image of his church then he was about my friend's well being and that she was almost a victim of rape.  Because she respected the pastor's authority, she never addressed the situation.  It made it hard for her to trust men after that.  Thankfully, she is still serving the Lord and many years after this incident she did marry.  

*An elderly female friend that's a widow was a big servant in her church.  She had 2 husbands die, one of her children was hit by a car and killed at a young age, and she struggled with depression because of those things.  She is a very caring, loving, serving, giving, and sensitive person.  Some of the other elderly women in the church did not like the attention that she got because people liked her because of how she served the Lord.  They started gossiping about her, damaging her character, and making others turn against her.  My friend went to the pastor for counseling for her depression/thoughts of suicide.  He told other people in the church (including some of these women) in the name of " requested prayer" that she was, "A sad soul, needing help, and that she wasn't right in the head."  He basically gave her enemies fuel to further harm her character and attack her instead of loving her and getting her the help she needed.  The church leadership had a meeting to let both sides confront one another to allegedly squash the issue.  When they had the meeting only the other ladies were allowed to bring people for their side, and she was left alone to defend herself.  She was attacked and belittled in the meeting.  Due to this, she and others left their church, a mild church split, and there are grave wounds and disunity in the Universal body of believers.  She is currently out of church because of how she was harmed, and is still depressed.

*When my husband pastored in the inner city there was a very poor disabled lady that would come to church.  She was often unbathed, unkept, and she lived in a home that in some places would be condemned/torn down.  Some of the elders, their wives, and suburbanite church people would not shake her hand or talk to her.  They would also sometimes give looks of disgust and would not approach her.  She sat beside me every week and would give her dollar each week, which for her was sacrificial.  She did have an odor to her that was unpleasant, but nowhere in the Bible does is say that we aren't to love people that smell badly.  This lack of love would keep some out of church.  Last I knew after we left that ministry, she is no longer in church.  

I could come up with several more, but these are some of the observations that I've seen as to why people have been deeply hurt which can hinder their growth or make them not want to be a Christian at all.  I desire for people to know the love, mercy, and grace of Christ.  They will not hear the words if our actions as Christians are not meeting the message of love, mercy, and grace.  I know God is a just God, and that doesn't mean we don't call sin what it is, but there must be a balance in all things in order for us to accomplish what He has put before us to do.    

Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

James 2:13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others.  But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you.   

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

Love always in Christ, Gem

I remember when I started becoming disillusioned with church people pretty early on in my walk over 30 years ago.  Probably most don't even know Him, there are many tares among the wheat.   This is why it says Jesus did not entrust Himself to anyone, because He knew what was in the heart of people.  This is why our unity is to be in Christ rather than person to person, as it were.  Each one in Christ and our unity is in Him, by Him and through Him.  Everything flowing from Him....love, kindness, truth, etc.   We have to remember that Satan's kingdom is of both good and evil, and we need to die out even to what we perceive as our good.........because in truth there is no one good but God.

[Heleadethme]

8 hours ago, Yowm said:

What do you expect when God is reduced to a mushy, gushy, slushy grandpa?

A good dose of God's Word + Holy Spirit conviction can change all that.

It's almost as though He is being exploited and taken advantage of because of His kindness and longsuffering..........He exhibits great humility even though He is to be feared, and doesn't force anyone to revere Him.  It is up to us to know our God, learn what He is worthy of, and give Him His due, and that pleases Him.  The church is slumbering and sleepwalking over a cliff, and needs to wake up to who the Lord is, and what He requires of us.....and what He requires of us we have not of ourselves, so we need a humble attitude, and to repent and seek Him every step of the way and He will be gracious to help us.

[warrior12]

25 minutes ago, Heleadethme said:

It's almost as though He is being exploited and taken advantage of because of His kindness and longsuffering..........He exhibits great humility even though He is to be feared, and doesn't force anyone to revere Him.  It is up to us to know our God, learn what He is worthy of, and give Him His due, and that pleases Him.  The church is slumbering and sleepwalking over a cliff, and needs to wake up to who the Lord is, and what He requires of us.....and what He requires of us we have not of ourselves, so we need a humble attitude, and to repent and seek Him every step of the way and He will be gracious to help us.

Here is what is to be kept in mind.  The church is a gathering place a meeting place where mainly believers meet to worship their God in unison.    Your salvation is not lost there or not necessarily found there.   The onus is on you the christian to have a personal relationship with  your maker, study the word and behave in the manner outlined in scripture.  The church has many benefits to help nurture and prepare and assist believers to maturity as a man or woman of God.  Yes, uses  the church as a crutch and to have a false sense of belonging to the kingdom of God, as if the buildings and programs satisfies their spiritual life.  But the church is much more than that and those who forfeit it's function to be lone wolves eventually becomes disenchanted with and with magnify petty things to withdraw from the assembling of the saints.    

There has always been all types of people that goes to the meeting place called church and Paul spoke about this.   Today we live in a dynamic, fast pace world where satan is in full force to dismantle and corrupt God's people. We know this, but it is no reason to let the enemy have his way.  The christian is a man of war [spiritually], and like David, when the Lord empowers him to walk upright even in this world where the enemy is in full rage, we stand and know the battle is the Lord.   You can either run away or echo the voice of David to Goliath.                                                                                                     

[Heleadethme]

49 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

Here is what is to be kept in mind.  The church is a gathering place a meeting place where mainly believers meet to worship their God in unison.    Your salvation is not lost there or not necessarily found there.   The onus is on you the christian to have a personal relationship with  your maker, study the word and behave in the manner outlined in scripture.  The church has many benefits to help nurture and prepare and assist believers to maturity as a man or woman of God.  Yes, uses  the church as a crutch and to have a false sense of belonging to the kingdom of God, as if the buildings and programs satisfies their spiritual life.  But the church is much more than that and those who forfeit it's function to be lone wolves eventually becomes disenchanted with and with magnify petty things to withdraw from the assembling of the saints.    

There has always been all types of people that goes to the meeting place called church and Paul spoke about this.   Today we live in a dynamic, fast pace world where satan is in full force to dismantle and corrupt God's people. We know this, but it is no reason to let the enemy have his way.  The christian is a man of war [spiritually], and like David, when the Lord empowers him to walk upright even in this world where the enemy is in full rage, we stand and know the battle is the Lord.   You can either run away or echo the voice of David to Goliath.                                                                                                     

....or I can obey the voice of my Shepherd and go where He leads.......  After spending more than 12 years in churches, the Lord led me out.....and not until then did I begin reading the scriptures with fresh eyes, and He began to restore me to the true gospel after cleansing my life of the false doctrines I had absorbed while partaking of the church's dubious "benefits".  What we have to realize is that His church is made up of individual souls who are following Jesus wherever they happen to be geographically.....it isn't made up of clay and mortar buildings full of people which call themselves churches.  Just because they call themselves churches....doesn't mean they are really His churches.  Comes a point where we can't be unequally yoked with those who are worshiping Baal.  The Lord may lead some to churches for reasons of sounding the alarm and trying to point them back to the true gospel, but not to join with them in worldly false doctrines.  Think of Elijah walking alone except for a remnant who had not bowed the knee to Baal........saying to the people, why halt ye between two opinions, either the Lord is God or Baal......but you can't serve both God and Baal at the same time, having two masters.   Unfortunately, it's a perfect snapshot of the present day church as a whole.  The church has apostasized and is being given over BY THE LORD WHO JUDGES HER to Babylon and strong delusion.....exactly like ancient Israel who is the church's ensample.  The glory has departed.........don't think He wouldn't depart His church, if He even did it to ancient Israel....the Lord doesn't change.  We need to know what time it is and have eyes to see what prophecies are being fulfilled.

[frienduff thaylorde]

10 hours ago, gemstone777 said:

I want to thank you all for your thoughts and insights.  As I said before this post was just so I could make three posts to get into chat, lol.  It wasn't meant to be a place of debate, but a loving, heartfelt discussion of how to process these thing that break my heart, and I believe that Christ disapproves of because of instructions in His Word.

 I have too many friends/family that have gotten out of church because of grave wounds, not petty stuff.  Some are bitter, and yes they are wrong and need to heal, but sometimes depending on the level of hurt/offense it takes time.  Being harsh with people that are already wounded won't help them to heal, it will just further show them lack of genuine concern, and they will perceive it as unloving.   This is not coming from a place of complaint, but observation of seeing others wounded and wronged, and saying that it's not how God says it should be.  Jesus took the plight of the lowly, the sinner, and He was not self righteous.  I don't think I'm better than anyone, and stuff like this makes me see how I don't want to hurt anyone and keep them away from Christ, or growing in Christ. I think we all should desire unity, love, and peace in the body, and work towards creating that environment.  Sure, sometimes things have to be confronted that are wrong, and people aren't going to receive that well.  

A few of you have asked for examples of how churches/Christians have wounded other believers/seekers.  I have many, but these are some that came to mind.  After I share these, I probably won't be commenting on every post, as I feel I've already said my perception, interpretation, and ideas on this situation.  I wish you all well on your journey with the Lord.  Let us strive to love the Lord and others!   

* A friend from a previous employer that is not a Christian that I had invited to church said that he wouldn't come.  When I asked him why, he told me he that he was wounded by a church leader.  He went on to share his story of how when he was a little boy he went to church.  He came from a broken home, and his mom had kids by different men.  There was a male leader in the church that took an interest in him and sort of was a mentor.  There was a father/son outing coming up, and his dad was not in his life.  He overheard one of the pastors and his mentor in the church talking.  The pastor said to my friend's mentor, "Why don't you take the boy you have been mentoring (my friend) to the father/son outing?"  His mentor friend said, "Are you kidding me!  That little "bastard!"  Then both the pastor and his mentor began laughing.  After that he said he wouldn't set foot in church again, and he hasn't.  He remains an unbeliever to this day.

* A brother in Christ who was single (20s/never married) at the time was serving as a youth leader in his church.  He was working with the males since he was a male.  He would play basketball with them, watch football games, go out to lunch, help them with school, and also disciple/mentor them.  He had no complaints from children or their parents, and was influencing the kids in a Christ-like way.  Then, the music pastor felt convicted to share with my friend something that was said because his boys were involved in the ministry and he knew my friend's character was being dragged through the mud unjustly.  He disclosed to my friend that the Senior Pastor had said that he had an unhealthy interest in boys because he was spending so much of his time pouring into them, and accused him of homosexual tendency/desires that were not there and untrue.  That pastor damaged my friend's character unjustly by wrongful use of his position of power/influence and the use of his tongue to harm my friend's walk.  My friend was not as strong in his faith as he is now, and he left the church and said, "If this is what Christianity is, I don't want any part of it!"  He left the church for 5 years wounded before God drew him back and used another pastor's love and kindness to help him heal.  Think of what a servant of the Lord could have done in that 5 years!  Thankfully, God helped him to heal.  He went on to be a pastor himself and now he knows how not to treat people because of what he went through.

*A single female friend of mine had a divorced guy from her church that played in the worship band over to help fix something in her home.  After he had completed the project they were sitting on her couch talking and she thanked him for helping her.  He began to kiss her against her will and unzip her pants.  She screamed, yelled, and tried to fight him off and he finally got off of her and left.  She felt if she hadn't screamed loud and pushed/kicked him off of her, he would have raped her.  When she asked me what she should do (because of the nature of the situation) I felt that she needed to talk with the pastor and get him involved, maybe even criminal charges needed to be considered.  The Senior Pastor of her church said, "We don't use the R (for rape) word around here.  You need to drop this."  He was more concerned about the image of his church then he was about my friend's well being and that she was almost a victim of rape.  Because she respected the pastor's authority, she never addressed the situation.  It made it hard for her to trust men after that.  Thankfully, she is still serving the Lord and many years after this incident she did marry.  

*An elderly female friend that's a widow was a big servant in her church.  She had 2 husbands die, one of her children was hit by a car and killed at a young age, and she struggled with depression because of those things.  She is a very caring, loving, serving, giving, and sensitive person.  Some of the other elderly women in the church did not like the attention that she got because people liked her because of how she served the Lord.  They started gossiping about her, damaging her character, and making others turn against her.  My friend went to the pastor for counseling for her depression/thoughts of suicide.  He told other people in the church (including some of these women) in the name of " requested prayer" that she was, "A sad soul, needing help, and that she wasn't right in the head."  He basically gave her enemies fuel to further harm her character and attack her instead of loving her and getting her the help she needed.  The church leadership had a meeting to let both sides confront one another to allegedly squash the issue.  When they had the meeting only the other ladies were allowed to bring people for their side, and she was left alone to defend herself.  She was attacked and belittled in the meeting.  Due to this, she and others left their church, a mild church split, and there are grave wounds and disunity in the Universal body of believers.  She is currently out of church because of how she was harmed, and is still depressed.

*When my husband pastored in the inner city there was a very poor disabled lady that would come to church.  She was often unbathed, unkept, and she lived in a home that in some places would be condemned/torn down.  Some of the elders, their wives, and suburbanite church people would not shake her hand or talk to her.  They would also sometimes give looks of disgust and would not approach her.  She sat beside me every week and would give her dollar each week, which for her was sacrificial.  She did have an odor to her that was unpleasant, but nowhere in the Bible does is say that we aren't to love people that smell badly.  This lack of love would keep some out of church.  Last I knew after we left that ministry, she is no longer in church.  

I could come up with several more, but these are some of the observations that I've seen as to why people have been deeply hurt which can hinder their growth or make them not want to be a Christian at all.  I desire for people to know the love, mercy, and grace of Christ.  They will not hear the words if our actions as Christians are not meeting the message of love, mercy, and grace.  I know God is a just God, and that doesn't mean we don't call sin what it is, but there must be a balance in all things in order for us to accomplish what He has put before us to do.    

Matthew 5:7 Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.

James 2:13 There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others.  But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you.   

John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  

Love always in Christ, Gem

Their is something else as well at play in the innermost part of the soul.   I have been spoken evil of before.  I have been treated evil before.

BUT NEVER ONCE did I ever consider it to be what a true christain is.   It never turned me from Christ .............I just LEANED MORE ON HIM and REJOICED IN HIM

for the persecution.  Many people, not all, but many will tell you stories of why they quit church.  I left due to the emptiness of no sound doctrine. 

Many leave due to they got rightly corrected yet got offended.  And yes some leave due to wrongful action.  

I do not worry about what to say to people nor how to approach them.    JUST LET THE SPIRIT LEAD.  GOD always knows what the other needs to hear.

ALWAYS and thus ALWAYS GIVES THE PERFECT TRUTH.   still most reject it...........but some will receive it.

If anyone leaves GOD for how they were treated.................something is wrong IN THEM.    if they leave the church that is different.

But if they abandon their walk from GOD................it was something in them that did NOT desire this walk.

OF course anyone who adds to this by being part of the problem is at fault as well.  BUT THE LORD KNOWS those who are HIS.

HIS WILL NOT ABANDON HIM NO MATTER HOW CRUEL , how falsely accused they are.  THEY WILL JUST FORGIVE their trespassors.

they wont hang out with them , lest they repent.  BUT THEY WILL WHOLE HEARTEDLY FORGIVE.

I have heard many things from many who make excuse not to COME to CHRIST..............but the real reason they do not come

is WITHIN THEIR OWNSELVES.   Yes , its very evil to do what that pastor did to the other ,

its evil .    But if any evil causes US to flee from GOD...................the fault is in US.  and the one who did the evil is at fault too.

But as I said..........this world has treated me like dung...............yet I FORGIVE THEM and HAVE THE JOY OF THE LORD during all times good or bad.

IF any , no matter what the reason says they follow not Christ ......................the fault , no matter how wronged they were or weren't

still is in them.   Most often these never knew Christ .   Its our duty to try and win them.  

Their is an agenda at work that most do not know.    THEY use the bad examples in evangelizing, but do it in a way

that makes correcting seem JUDGMENTAL. when really its not .   They use words like many have been wounded, etc.......WHICH IS TRUE

but they USE this to shut down any kind of grave warning and instead make it all about just HUG EM .

This simply is sloppy evangelism that don't work.  NOT saying we should not be compassionate.  BUT we must be grave as well.

I don't Know if you are aware this goes on . SO I thought I would help you to see it, unless you already know it.

But either way..............its always good to be reminded on things we already know anyway.