Willa Posted December 15, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,242 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,658 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted December 15, 2019 On 11/18/2019 at 6:06 AM, F_Ivan said: Thank you so much for your post, you're right. Edit: About baptizing myself in the spirit, I was baptized as an adult at my Baptist church months ago, unless you meant something different? I prayed a prayer giving myself up to Christ at my baptism and I think I was being genuine but maybe I wasn't totally true deep down, or maybe I just let myself get sidetracked by my own distrust/insecurities/anger and sins, im not sure. God changes our desires and our transformation takes a lifetime. As soon as we think we are making progress we goof up again. Sometimes I think He allows this so we don't get self righteous. Eventually those problems become less of an issue and we move on to other problems. So the very fact that you hate what you are doing, but maybe not enough to change, means that you are different than you were before you were saved. You probably didn't feel guilty about the same things then. We also learn to rely on God more and more as we realize we can't do it. We are totally lost and only God can help us. That is exactly where He wants us--totally dependent on God and crying out "God have mercy on me, a sinner!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_Ivan Posted December 15, 2019 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 120 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 44 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/03/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Willa said: God changes our desires and our transformation takes a lifetime. As soon as we think we are making progress we goof up again. Sometimes I think He allows this so we don't get self righteous. Eventually those problems become less of an issue and we move on to other problems. So the very fact that you hate what you are doing, but maybe not enough to change, means that you are different than you were before you were saved. You probably didn't feel guilty about the same things then. We also learn to rely on God more and more as we realize we can't do it. We are totally lost and only God can help us. That is exactly where He wants us--totally dependent on God and crying out "God have mercy on me, a sinner!" Thanks. I backslid alot actually (particularly with porn) but the feelings of despair, guilt, shame and fear made me really start putting my foot down against lust. even though ive been trying to sin a lot less I feel spiritually dry and very lacking with God in general than before where I less careful with sin, I think all the OCD of condemnation and worrying is the cause. What do I do about foolish prayers by the way? I have been praying foolishly by quick and hasty prayers mainly to impress God or sometimes ill pray something but become cowardly and get scared of what trials these prayers will bring and like a coward ill try to revoke some of them which is really bad. I'll compulsivley pray alot in my head too without much thought which is part of the ocd I think. Basically im babbling like a fool in my head (its not easy to stop) This has been going on for about a month now and im scared I have killed off the power of prayer by being a fool. I've considered saying more generalized prayers, (Like prayer templates) and being more honest with God, even brutally honest (saying how I feel about him even if negative at times and whatever im going through), making more of an effort to be grateful instead of just asking all the time and also just setting aside a special time for prayer where I can be more mindful snd concentrated instead of babbling out hasty prayers while 4/5 of the rest of my mind is dedicated to trying to withold my OCD at work and while under alot of emotional and mental stress. I also really need to make more of an effort to listen to God when I pray too, and listen in general. Im stuck inside my own head so much and im foolish and cowardly I feel like. I'll re read everyone posts Edited December 15, 2019 by F_Ivan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F_Ivan Posted December 15, 2019 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 120 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 44 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/03/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 (edited) I've been a huge fool!! I've been rejecting Gods discipline once again, out of cowardice. I thought I had to have my heart completley willing for Gods discipline to have it but I want it though I feel fear and feel reluctant. The reluctant feelings are lot stronger now though I feel numb. Ive been listening to my feelings way too much and I should've listened more to the advice on here. And God's word. Edited December 15, 2019 by F_Ivan Faith in scripture is important 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky and George Posted December 16, 2019 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 168 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 394 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 197 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/26/2018 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/28/1983 Share Posted December 16, 2019 F_Ivan, well done, Narnia is the way forward! Discipline brings forth joy in the end. God is nurturing you like a child. After the smack wrist you cuddle up to Abba Father on His lap and He reads you Narnia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky and George Posted December 16, 2019 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 168 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 394 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 197 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/26/2018 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/28/1983 Share Posted December 16, 2019 Willa, what you said is like Christian's being sinners that need His grace. Guys when we get up out of the bed in the morning, maybe say this: "I need you Jesus, I love you Jesus, I can't do today without, please help me". Starts out day as we need to go on - dependant on Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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