Help me, please

[captwmorgan]

I had prayed for the last four years for love. It has always been a strong desire of my heart. The Lord had shown me a wonderful woman about two months ago. Everything I prayed for was given to me ten fold. The moment I saw here I knew my prayers were answered.

We eventually started to date and then broke up. She said she was going to France in a couple of months. I entered the relationship knowing this, and I told her that I would wait for her. She insisted that I did not and said that she does not want to hurt me, nor does she want any attachments.

I was crushed. We talked about it a week later and she said that she still had feelings for me, but did not want to hurt me. During this time I prayed, I fasted, and I sought console. I decided to get a going away present for her so I made her a cd of music I wrote about her. I ended up hiring a artist and finding people to sing.

Eventually, her time was cut short and she was going to quit her job, where I would see her, and go to indiana to spend time with her family before she left. I rushed the cd and gave it to her. We talked some more and she said she had no feelings for me.

So I told her I would try to see her sunday to say goodbye, and I did. She looked like she was going to cry. I broke down infront of the hostess that works with her. Since them I just have been a reck.

I can count the amount of times on one hand that I did not cry at night over the last couple of weeks. I can't sleep, I can not concentrate on work or biblical studies. I had lost alot of faith and hope.

I started to get some back. I am broken. I cry out to the Lord every night and beg him to have mercy on me. I ask him for understanding. I wanted so badly to know why this was happening. I wanted to know why he said no in all of my prayers.

I have heard no response. She leaves from Indian to France on September 2nd. I can't stop crying. I wan't this pain to go away. It won't. I prayed for this desire to go away, and it has not. I know the Lord has heard my crys and has seen my tears. I just don't know why. I felt like I was being led to an answer, but I was not.

In my head everyday I hear the verses "ask and you shall receive." I need help. I feel like I am dieing everyday. I wish sometimes that my eyes wouldn't open in the morning, or that I never had meet her at all.

It is so hard for me to even lift my head up from my pillow in the morning, or evening to flip pages in my bible. My friends and pastors have prayed for me. But still no response. I just can cope with it anymore.

Help me, please.

[captwmorgan]

Im sorry I forgot to add this. I have some had long-term  relationships and I don't understand how I can suffer so much for spending so-little days with her compared to the rest. I am not sure why.

[Guest GloryaRose]

Something about this woman enchanted you and made you believe in true love.... perhaps you had never really felt it before...or recognized that type of emotion was possible for you...then having started to believe that type of love was possible.....you emotions are just overcome by the thought of not being able to have that love returned.

You have been given a glimpse of how much you could love.

 ................................................................Be thankful.

           God is preparing you for the woman who will love

           you this way in return. Dont settle for anything less

           for your heart or from the heart of one you love.

[captwmorgan]

I have loved before. I just don't understand why I  suffer so much over someone I spent so little days with. I believe it is because I know the Lord sent her. I just don't understand why he removed her from my life.

I pray to be healed and I will be fine for part of the day. Then, at night I am crying myself to sleep. I am not sure if I am being punished, broken to be built up, or learning a lesson. I have searched scripture, prayed, fasted, and asked everyone I know for an answer.

I am falling apart.

[wordsower]

The verse you keep hearing in your head is clear.

Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened unto you.

Seek the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

This is something the Lord is allowing you to go through so that you will depend on Him more.  He has His hand on your life and His perfect will is going to be revealed to you.  Just remember that we don't know God's plan always, but trust in Him to work ALL things out for good.  You will look back and see Him working even through this.

Blessings and peace to you!

[Guest Levi]

You know, I find that when praying for situations involving people's free will, the Lord usually lets people decide and sometimes people make bad choices that end up hurting others. All things work together for good and life is a learning and growing process. We learn from our own mistakes as well as that of others. Going through hurt and trying times really helps us to understand what others go through and helps us to have a more compassionate heart. Sounds like you 2 had some beautiful times together and it helps to be grateful for that and to realize that ultimately, after having done all we can to convince people, sometimes we just have to let them go because after realizing how they feel, we would only be quenching their fire to demand they stay. You know that old saying, let it go and if it is really yours, it'll come back to you but if not, you have granted the precious gift of freedom.  Pressing it too much just makes them feel guilty and shameful. You don't want to do that. The best cure for an old love is...a new one. God bless you and help you. :thumb:

[captwmorgan]

I have tried and I can't. I have even prayed for my pain to go away, and it has not. I sometimes wonder if the Lord is purposely breaking me down. I had never had this much pain before. I don't know why. I am so scared. I want this to end.

[Guest GloryaRose]

heartache never goes away easily.

it is never easy to embrace heartache.

allow yourself to feel these emotions to experience all of them...even the unpleasant ones...

         and know that this is ok with the Lord.

         

         Trust that you and the Lord will be closer than ever  

         as you endure, and cling to him

go to the Lord in complete honesty about these emotions...

cast your fears and your anxieties into his hands...

remember the thorns on Jesus brow and the scars in his hands and feet...

Jesus understands the pain you feel, he will help you carry it...

Lean on the Holy Spirit for comfort.

Blessed

are they that mourn

for they shall be

Comforted

Love In Christ

GloryaRose

[Guest Levi]

I really think that the pain is there because you are holding on to it afraid that if you let it go it will all be over. God will not force her to love you and stay with you. Like all people, God grants us free will to choose and make our own decisions. It's right for you to pray but God has to respect her choices too. There are 3 wills involved here, God's, yours, and hers. These have to be all in perfect harmony when praying for God to bless the union but if one of those wills is out of whack or out of tune with the inention of the prayer, God can't answer in exactly the way you would like. You continue to experience pain because you haven't accepted things yet and you are trying to hang on. Don't! Let go and look forward and trust the Lord that He will give you what you need.

[Guest C.D. Light]

I could never think that God is doing this to "break" you or to teach you some kind of lesson, or to make you to know what others go thru, or to be more compassionate, or anything of the sort.

This is simply a case of self will on the part of this woman. I dont believe she ever really gave the relationship a chance to begin with, and entered it more as a friendship, knowing that she already had her plans made to go to France.

I believe she didnt intend to let you get into her heart, simply because of this preplanned trip. She probably made up her mind that she was going to let nothing prevent her from going.

So when she said she had no feelings for you, it is very telling right there that she did not allow herself to have any meaningful feelings.

I am wondering how you might know she was sent by God? That is hard for another person to know; only you would.

I would also like to know why she went, and for how long?

If she was sent by God, then He can send her back. Perhaps God is simply letting her "get it out of her system" and out of the way, so that he can deal with her. How do you know it will be all that she imagined, after she gets there. And maybe she will be disappointed with it all, and want to return.

I wouldnt presume to want to build up your hopes, by any means.  This is where only your own personal relationship with the Lord comes in very handy.  I believe I would be telling him you want this woman, and if it is within His will and approval, then SEND HER BACK to you. BUT, if it is not, then remove her from your heart, and that you will accept that.

Meanwhile, as bad as it hurts, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself in it. Get out and at least try to socialize, just to keep your sanity. There is NO cure for this overnight; it does take TIME to heal.

Been there, and done that, and it was definitely with someone whom the Lord made very clear to me in no uncertain terms, that HE sent to me. Even so, the person was disobedient and it never came topass.

Never presume that things that dont come to pass, then must not have been from God.  Because of free will, many things from God do not come to pass.

Personally, I do not know how I am still alive even; but I am, and Id be the first to say it was NOT fun getting thru it.

But it started to get better when I got good and mad, told the Lord Id like to "kill" him, spit on him, and flush him down the toilet where I thought he belonged, lol. And my favorite saying became "what a jerk"  or "the jerk" and I "hope he croaks".  Long long road for me, but I'm 98% fine now, and thats as good as it gets, without having a labotomy.     :thumb: