leah777 Posted April 11, 2021 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,393 Content Per Day: 0.72 Reputation: 1,156 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/09/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted April 11, 2021 11 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said: I have been to churches prior to these 2; and only one afterwards. as you have left the second church some time, considering you also then attended another church afterwards, why do you feel compelled to go back to the second church, even just mentally to write a 'review'? Leave it God, in prayer, and move forward. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted April 11, 2021 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 108 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,824 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,814 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted April 11, 2021 If you are truly and really clueless as to why your new pastor has limited you to men's groups - think on this. Do you think perhaps the pastor at your first church found out about your second church and contacted the new pastor and told him of your prior actions? It could happen. I won't go into detail, but you have given very personal details over a few websites and a few years as to your former church and the pastor's family unfriending you on Facebook and why and your clinical obsession over that. Brother - PLEASE just attend the men's services and groups and enjoy that and learn something and be at peace. PLEASE do NOT post a review of any pastor you've been under online. I guarantee you that someone - either from his family or church - WILL rebut you publicly and online. There will be details you leave out that they will not. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debrakay Posted April 11, 2021 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,249 Content Per Day: 1.93 Reputation: 3,104 Days Won: 20 Joined: 03/02/2021 Status: Offline Share Posted April 11, 2021 45 minutes ago, mlssufan01 said: but a brief synopsis is that, at the time of the incident the pastor's children were all college age (18-25) and the pastor's son insulted me by saying i was barely tolerable; followed by a complete unexpected cutoff--which resulted in my first and only mental health episode---basically schizophrenic bipolar--and due to hallucinations, turned myself into the police thinking I did something wrong. Again, the one common denominator here I just want to know why I am always the reject, always the one cast aside, always feeling like I did something wrong; and yet nobody can ever tell me, no matter how hard I search. Bipolarism runs in my family genes so I have a bit of insight from this angle. I am not bi-polar but my great grandmother, grandmother, mother (all deceased), sister, her son and one brother (still alive) are. I have dealt with the mental ups and downs for almost 7 decades. Half of them self medicate or self medicated with alcohol and/or drugs to cope. Daily depression and euphoria were/are their way of life and interactions with others. For the normally balanced person it is very hard to understand why they act the way they do one time and are completely a different person the next time. It's like the story of Jekyll and Hyde. One person. Two separate personalities depending upon the day. A younger person that has never met a person with this kind of disorder would react the way your pastor's son reacted. Each of these family members I have listed never had close friends only acquaintances. Their actions and words drove people away or made any kind of relationship impossible. Balanced people have a hard time being loved one day and being hated the next day, hearing normal uplifting words one day and then being cussed at, humiliated and threatened emotionally or physically the next day. You said this was the only time you experienced a bipolar/schizophrenic episode but in my experience these episodes do not just come out of no where and then disappear forever. Those prone to this chemical and/or physical imbalance in their body are not able to just get rid of it. I don't know if you have ever looked for medical help to determine if there is actually a medical issue but if people are not wanting to be around you because you are a loose cannon and they fear your actions and words I would think you would want to know if there is anything that can be done to balance your body chemicals. My sister did get diagnosed over 30 years ago but decided her way of medication (drugs & alcohol) was better than what the doctors prescribed. I'm sorry if anything I have said offends you. I felt you might need to hear my story of dealing with mental health issues and rocky relationships. Over the years I tried numerous times to build relationships with these family members and it could not be done. Each time it broke my heart. At this point in time the 3 remaining alive do not communicate with me nor I with them. It is just better to leave each other alone to go through life without being reminded of the ever present problems. Why would I want their hatred of me being mentally balanced slapped in their faces time and time again? Why would I want to remind them that some of our family members got this chemical/mental disability and it skipped over others? Why would I want to add to their pain and suffering? I have never stopped praying for each one of them. I hope you find the answers you are searching for and I will be praying for your situation. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted April 11, 2021 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 13 Topic Count: 279 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 13,108 Content Per Day: 9.69 Reputation: 13,606 Days Won: 149 Joined: 08/26/2020 Status: Online Share Posted April 11, 2021 After reading this thread I can't understand why you would not be 'allowed' to participate in certain church activities? Never in all of my years have I come across a situation where a member or members were warned off of certain activities. The only reason I can imagine for such an action would be if the person wanted to attend a group that wasn't for them. IOW the desire to attend a women's or teen group if the person is an older man or visa versa. Certain groups are for certain people in larger churches. Maybe smaller churches don't have quite the same luxury. Not only that, you could attend any group you wanted to attend within those limits if you are an active member. No pastor can shut you down for that. Church is all about fellowship. Any pastor that inhibits fellowship has crossed a very bad line. I have seen times when there have been people who disrupted a church service. One man sat up front, whooped and hollered , created all kinds of commotion waving his arms around in the middle of a sermon to the frustration of the couple behind him, IOW it wasn't a worship time. We later found out he had a drug problem and was probably loaded when he came in. Even in that case, a deacon would come alongside him or take him aside to have a loving discussion with him. He wasn't booted from anything, but he had to follow certain rules or he would be escorted out. I have also seen some people command a Sunday school class frequently that was intended for everyone to the frustration of the teacher and classmates. Instead of them learning it felt more like they were out to prove the pastor wrong publicly about everything he said. To be fair, this person was never kicked out, however there was a bunch of regular eye rolling. The 'here we go again'. You must have some idea where this is coming from???? Could it be that you have misinterpreted what the pastor said or did? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tristen Posted April 12, 2021 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 9 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2,378 Content Per Day: 0.63 Reputation: 1,357 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/26/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted April 12, 2021 Hello mlssufan01, It is not “wise to write a review of a church/pastor online”. I understand that you are hurt – and that hurt may be warranted. But we should not act out of hurt. The devil is the slanderer, and “accuser of our brethren” (Revelation 10:12). We do not want to find ourselves in that company. You do not know what God is doing behind the scenes. Rather, get on board with God's will and forgive and pray for those that hurt you. Let God be your vindicator and justifier. We are called to love. Matthew 5:44-48 - But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect. Trust God “that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray12614 Posted April 12, 2021 Group: Senior Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 667 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 750 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/22/2020 Status: Offline Share Posted April 12, 2021 Too many unknowns . . . verbally insulted . . . exempted from certain (what kind?) services . . . two churches responding to you in the same ways . . . it cannot be solved here in this forum. I find it amazing that 2 churches/pastors would react to you the same way. I think the most sound advice you have gotten is to find a qualified counsellor (should be Christian) and lay out the particulars. Ray . . . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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