I'd like y'all's opinion on something especially the ladies

[ayin jade]

3 hours ago, Dennis1209 said:

I understand the what and why of what you are saying, according to scripture. What is your position on women teaching children's Sunday School?

1Ti 2:12  But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 
 

As far as I recall, the bible does not prohibit women teaching children. The question is at what point does a male child cease to be a child? Is it 18 as our society says, or is it younger or older?  Does it depend on each individual's maturity level? Personally I would hesitate to be a woman teaching a 16 yr old male.

[SIC]

28 minutes ago, Marilyn C said:

Hi SIC,

It actually reveals that the group is not based on relationship. The group has been `advertised` and people can choose to join, (it seems). I would suggest you find a mentor or become one yourself and begin to disciple one or two. Then they are to disciple others. (2 Tim. 2: 2)

All the women didn't join together. They probably joined one by one. If I were a male small group leader and the first few joinees were women and no men were joining I would actually not take in any more women until some men join to increase the diversity.

The fact is Iron sharpens Iron. Men learn and grow more through fellowship with other men and women through women. Men can grow through fellowship with women but not to the extent that men can grow through fellowship with other men. And it is the same for women.

God created gender differences for a reason

[Marilyn C]

43 minutes ago, SIC said:

All the women didn't join together. They probably joined one by one. If I were a male small group leader and the first few joinees were women and no men were joining I would actually not take in any more women until some men join to increase the diversity.

The fact is Iron sharpens Iron. Men learn and grow more through fellowship with other men and women through women. Men can grow through fellowship with women but not to the extent that men can grow through fellowship with other men. And it is the same for women.

God created gender differences for a reason

So you see the group is NOT based on relationship which is what scripture tells us should be.

`You, (Timothy), my son, (in the Lord, /relationship) be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, (relationships) commit these to faithful men, (relationships) who will be able to teach others also. (relationships).

Paul

Timothy

Faithful men

Others also

 

So there is a net work 4 deep from Paul who had other disciples doing the same. Women also worked by this principle. 

Where there is a couple, such as Pricilla and Aquila, then they can mentor other men and women. 

[appy]

I feel the passage below fits this topic. There are many, many excuses for not attending church, not just one excuse. One reason I can think that women are more apt to go to church, than men, is that they feel as Mary did about the importance of coming together as a body to learn, fellowship, worship and grow in God's grace.

Mary sat with the disciples to listen to Jesus and certainly felt it more important than what Martha was concerned about. And what did Jesus say to Martha? That Mary had found something far more important than the finer details of life. Perhaps there are more men that are more concerned and preoccupied with the finer details of life instead of spiritual matters.

Church attendance is each person's responsibility. The idea, that there is too many women, is just another excuse for not attending.

Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

[SIC]

2 minutes ago, Marilyn C said:

So you see the group is NOT based on relationship which is what scripture tells us should be.

`You, (Timothy), my son, (in the Lord, /relationship) be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and the things that you have heard from me among many witnesses, (relationships) commit these to faithful men, (relationships) who will be able to teach others also. (relationships).

Paul

Timothy

Faithful men

Others also

 

So there is a net work 4 deep from Paul who had other disciples doing the same. Women also worked by this principle. 

Where there is a couple, such as Pricilla and Aquila, then they can mentor other men and women. 

The women may have joined based on 'advertisement'. But they stuck around based on relationship. To me it is not possible for a man to form relationships with women in a way that they can be transparent and accountable with each other.

So IMO this small group either never formed transparent and accountable relationships with the women which means neither he nor the women grew much through the small group

Or he formed transparent and accountable relationships with the women which is quite inappropriate IMO.

So either ways this is a red flag. I'll also question the church leadership for not doing anything about the gender ratio situation in that particular small group.

[SIC]

1 minute ago, appy said:

I feel the passage below fits this topic. There are many, many excuses for not attending church, not just one excuse. One reason I can think that women are more apt to go to church, than men, is that they feel as Mary did about the importance of coming together as a body to learn, fellowship, worship and grow in God's grace.

Mary sat with the disciples to listen to Jesus and certainly felt it more important than what Martha was concerned about. And what did Jesus say to Martha? That Mary had found something far more important than the finer details of life. Perhaps there are more men that are more concerned and preoccupied with the finer details of life instead of spiritual matters.

Church attendance is each person's responsibility. The idea, that there is too many women, is just another excuse for not attending.

Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

In this case there are alternatives. If not this small group there are 30 others to choose from in the same church

[SIC]

9 hours ago, Abrielle said:

This wasn't in reply to me, but it was clarifying.

I completely misinterpreted your original post. I thought you were worried that something fishy was going on, and that you could sound misogynistic in your approach.

The title of this thread asks for everybody's opinions, but especially the ladies'. I leave this thread very confused, asking myself why does the opinion of female members in a forum matter, when you already decided that a group with more women than men has less to offer than what you want.

If there are men in that group, then you have male fellowship there too.
I don't like to use worldly definitions, like "misogyny", i prefer to talk about christian love and i wonder if the sisters of that group will feel unloved or not, once they hear about your reasons to leave the group.

 

Well .. In order to grow people need to form transparent, accountable relationships with other Christians.. Preferably in a small group.

In this particular small group :

EITHER the male leader formed transparent, accountable relationships with the women in which case it is inappropriate.

OR the male leader did not form transparent, accountable relationships with the women in which case the small group never grew.

Either ways it is a cause for concern. The church leadership should do something about this particular small group.

That being said I am not interested in taking up this issue. I am more interested in keeping my heart in the right place i.e. keeping it free of misogyny in this case.

[Baltika]

21 hours ago, Kelly2363 said:

 

Well that statement is quite a statement. The thing is SIC it doesn't mater what you discern - and I wouldn't let your intuition inform you because that is the flesh and has nothing to do with a spiritual meaning - whatever you say  (unless you yourself have heard from the Lord) your concern will be ignored until the fruit of your concern materialises in whatever way it does materialise. Even then - if you are given a means to discern why this brother is attracting more female than male members to the para church meetings your eldership may still simply turn away. It all rather depends on who everyone is in that church. 

If harm is intended - and it really doesn't matter who intends the harm - then the only people that have authority to deal with that outcome of harm before it happens are the elders of the church. You could also deal with it by speaking against it providing you really have heard from the Lord and are in the spirit when you do speak. I don't necessarily mean a rebuke - unless it is a rebuke - but rather speaking so as to disclose to the one who intends harm - a realisation that the Lord knows what they are doing. 

Your original questions seemed skewed because you ask your questions in a way that implies a likely imbalance that infers a man - else misogynist cannot have a meaning because were it NOT a man - then misandrist would have been the necessary equivalent if a woman - yet the questions could have implied the opposite meaning and directed to a misandrist actor. Asking questions in that way may produce no more than the flesh of the responder who acts out of their own flesh. The problem is we use words like children's sweets and almost never really sense what a cloud of confusion has been sown into the issue of male and female relationships. 

In any event you have now said (in your second post) that your concern is with a man. And you have said "It is almost like he is deliberately attracting women." 

So you need to examine yourself first in order to remove your own flesh from the concern - otherwise you will never arrive at anything more than mere words. That has to be real and in my own experience of having similar concerns in the church in the past - that usually took prayer and fasting. But once you have put yourself in the way of the Lord and the Lord has either remained silent or else removes you expressly in your flesh - then you have a basis for knowing in a way that translates like to is - so long as your concern remains. 

Unless he is an elderly brother and the woman are a balance of ages then he should NOT be attracting women regardless. Even then a mature sister or else his mature wife should be present to provide a cover for the other sisters. 

If your concern is real and even if you are used of the Lord to turn away harm, that is not seen by anyone but yourself because it has been turned away - you will be hated if you don't walk carefully and compassionately. So just remember that. The churches are filled with ill effects and answering them is always filled with consequences. Or you could do what many pastors and elders do - and just super spiritualise everything and call on the magic Jesus to cast a spell and make everyone better. 

That's good advice too. When I meant "Gut Intuition" I mean those feelings you get from the Lord when He says, Yes, No, or Wait.

I'm sorry if I was unclear

Thanks

Baltika

[Baltika]

3 hours ago, SIC said:

In this case there are alternatives. If not this small group there are 30 others to choose from in the same church

But I think if the fact that a lot of women being there might be a stumbling block for someone then they should not go. We are not to be stumbling blocks for other believers

Baltika

[Baltika]

21 hours ago, Deborah_ said:

If this one group is short of men, then more men need to join it! 

True. But if one is uncomfortable perhaps they should not go. I have left many churches and Messianic Synagogues because something didn't feel right. And you know what? 

Something wasn't right.