Feel like God forgot about me

[Figure of eighty]

So my granmda that ditched my kids while i was at work is over. 

Shes talking about everyones acheivments and barely acknowledging me except when she need to get me to get her something from the store. 

She got a new car shes letting me drive. I just dont get how can God bless someone that did that but im working so hard. Im trying so hard and im getting nowehefe. I feel like God hates me at this point bc everyone around me is getting blessed except for me

And im doing everything i can. 

Its like im in a storm that refuses to stop. 

The only time they bring me up is to say im lazy. They dont talk about me going back to school. How im trying to work again after struggling to find daycare bc i couldnt depend on my family. 

The only time im looked at is if people need something from me. 

 

Why does God bless everyone around me but me when Im working my butt off. Why? 

What does Be have against me? 

Everyone is able to do things with ease. Get a car. Ok got it. Get a place ok got it. Job..ok got it. My cousin has a really good paying one.. 

But me.. No. Car accidents. Son sick. My own health messed eith. Toxic family. No help. Just wlot of struggle to do ONE thing. 

 

Why is it like that? 

 

Im trying so hard more than most i feel. 

And i keep getting a brick wall. Makes me want to give up. 

[The_Patriot21]

Well...ive asked this before, but what are you doing to get out of the situation your in? 

Sometimes God puts us in bad situations for different reasons, and others Hes just waiting for us to make the first step.

You complain about being in a bad home situation, with all kinds of family problems....well, without being there its impossible to know exactly whats going on...but i can say if you genuinely want out you are an adult. They cant physically keep you there. Find a way.

As far as material blessings such as cars, first off a lot of people who have nice cars have worked their entire life to afford those nice cars. Years and years. To many people these days want the nice things right now, and feel theyre entitled to it and are jealous of those that have worked years to get them.

You want something work for it. Be patient but work for it. Set goals and find ways to get there.

Finally...im gonna say it...why is it even important to you? Unless you can buy it up front a new car is a scam. It starts losing value the instant you sign the last paper at the dealer, and you will likely pay double the asking price in interest by the time its paid off and you will never see any of it back. When you go to sell it you will sell it for a loss.

Its far better to find a older vehicle that you can afford to buy up front. Even if you got to pay a little bit more in maintainence, but you wont owe anything on it, and if your patient and know your deals you can usually find a nice older vehicle that will suit your needs for a fraction of the cost of a new vehicle.

I own 4 vehicles. 2 of which are daily drivers, the other 2 are project vehicles. They are all paid off. The newest is a 2011 expedition, which is my family vehicle. The other is a 03 f250. Thats my work truck. Theyre both older but reliable. They fulfill my needs in a vehicle. Theyre both nice vehicles. I bought neither brand new. They were both bought used. In fact the f250 didnt run when i bought it, i bought it extremely cheap and fixed it up.

A new car that your paying on isnt a blessing, its a burden because its a massive debt. It will actually make it harder to survive because its less money for housing and food. Less money for traveling and seeing friends. And if money gets tight...something that you may have difficulty getting out of. Debt is a cruel slavemaster.

[Jayne]

You and I have some similarities, I'll get to that.  And explain how we can help ourselves.   But first,  let me  gently fuss at you a little bit.

OK, here goes.

Number one:  Stop BLAMING God.  Stop ACCUSING God.  STOP saying that he doesn't love you or care about you.  Just STOP it.  It's maddening.  It's all we've heard from you for almost exactly three years.

Your life is hard,  we get it.  You've had two babies in three years by two different men, neither of them taking care of you or the babies and neither of them marriage material.  God didn't do that to you.  YOU did that to you.

Your family is mean, crappy, and abusive.   God  didn't  do that to you.  The DEVIL did that to you.

Why should God "bless" you when all you do is blame him for things not of his doing and accuse him of things he has not done.

Don't you think others here have in some respects crappy lives also?  Don't you think others here have pain and wonder where on earth God is?  

Like you, I have depression and anxiety.  I am FINALLY, after 60 years of life on this earth, getting some counselng for it.  I've had this depression for longer than you have been alive.  I've questioned God on rare occassions, but by reading his word daily, taking notes, and praying, I see that none of this is his fault.  He DOES help.  He DOES love me - even on days it's hard fo function.

You know how many friends I have?  ZERO!  NONE!!  My mother just died 2.5 months ago and it was a shock to the system.  My father died three years ago - again, a shock to the system!!  It's just me and my disabled brother.  JUST US - in the whole wide world.

I don't make friends easily.  [I know some here at Worthy are probably saying, "I see why!"]  

Don't you think I worry to the point of madness at what is going to happen to my mentally retarded, autisitic, legally blind brother if I die first?!?  ALL. THE. TIME I WORRY SICK!  That is NOT God's fault.  It's my fault for building a wall around myself decades ago in my depression and shutting all others out.  I had a great career and work hard at/for my church, but personal relationships - there just aren't there.

I know tons of people, but am close to no one.

For me to blame God for this, declare that he does not love me nor care about me has NEVER entered my mind.  NEVER.

NUMBER TWO:  DO SOMETHING!

So many people have given you counsel over these three years and you take none of it to heart.  You seem to make excuses as to why the counsel won't work.

I'll give you some counsel that I've given you before and you dismissed before.  Call the police and ask them to to take you and your babies to a women's shelter.  You can get help there.  They can help you find competent sitters and jobs.  You might have to use the bus or other public transportation, but it's at least a start.  Tell the police to stay with you there in case you aren't satisfied that it is safe.

This counseling has not been easy for me.  I have to tell the truth. I have to "share".  I have to open up and be gut-wrenchingly honest about ALL the mistakes I have made.  No blaming God. No blaming others. All the mistakes I have made.  He gives me homework and Christian counsel as what to DO.  Do something!!  

You've spent three years in an intense pity party.  I've got you beat by decades.  If I, ME, can do something, you can.

My issues have had a grip on me for far too long.  I'm doing something. 

God has not forgotten you nor does he hate you.  But he will not bless you while you blame him for everything and everyone in your life that is making you miserable.

 

 

[AnOrangeCat]

As someone who's been on the forum for a while I have to agree with what Jayne said. This is fresh on my mind because I've been reading the Old Testament lately but God delivered the Israelites out of Egypt. These people saw the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, experienced God providing for them in the wilderness, saw some very visible displays of His care and power, and yet they blamed God and Moses for their hardships instead of trusting. In doing so they cut themselves off from their promised land. Constant doubting and speaking against God isn't going to get you anywhere.

So far as the Number Two goes, yeah. It's scary and it's an unknown but you probably do need to take some sort of plunge and get involved in a local church even if it's not an optimal one. Your environment isn't going to change for the better with you staying whee you are. There's no real room for happiness there. I don't mean to sound harsh or uncaring. I do care and I've long hoped and prayed that things would get better for you. If you do take some kind of action just be prepared to go through a wilderness for a while. Having been in some abusive situations I know there's a strong temptation to take the familiar rather than deal with uncertainties but in the end it's probably best to make a leap of faith rather than be eroded.

[Figure of eighty]

5 hours ago, The_Patriot21 said:

Well...ive asked this before, but what are you doing to get out of the situation your in? 

Sometimes God puts us in bad situations for different reasons, and others Hes just waiting for us to make the first step.

You complain about being in a bad home situation, with all kinds of family problems....well, without being there its impossible to know exactly whats going on...but i can say if you genuinely want out you are an adult. They cant physically keep you there. Find a way.

As far as material blessings such as cars, first off a lot of people who have nice cars have worked their entire life to afford those nice cars. Years and years. To many people these days want the nice things right now, and feel theyre entitled to it and are jealous of those that have worked years to get them.

You want something work for it. Be patient but work for it. Set goals and find ways to get there.

Finally...im gonna say it...why is it even important to you? Unless you can buy it up front a new car is a scam. It starts losing value the instant you sign the last paper at the dealer, and you will likely pay double the asking price in interest by the time its paid off and you will never see any of it back. When you go to sell it you will sell it for a loss.

Its far better to find a older vehicle that you can afford to buy up front. Even if you got to pay a little bit more in maintainence, but you wont owe anything on it, and if your patient and know your deals you can usually find a nice older vehicle that will suit your needs for a fraction of the cost of a new vehicle.

I own 4 vehicles. 2 of which are daily drivers, the other 2 are project vehicles. They are all paid off. The newest is a 2011 expedition, which is my family vehicle. The other is a 03 f250. Thats my work truck. Theyre both older but reliable. They fulfill my needs in a vehicle. Theyre both nice vehicles. I bought neither brand new. They were both bought used. In fact the f250 didnt run when i bought it, i bought it extremely cheap and fixed it up.

A new car that your paying on isnt a blessing, its a burden because its a massive debt. It will actually make it harder to survive because its less money for housing and food. Less money for traveling and seeing friends. And if money gets tight...something that you may have difficulty getting out of. Debt is a cruel slavemaster.

Im doing EVERYTHING to get out. If i did nothing i wouornt even complain. 

I put the dad on child support 

Got daycare squared away 

Using the little money i have to fix my car

Im looking for work. 

 

Im putting the work in

[Figure of eighty]

4 hours ago, Jayne said:

You and I have some similarities, I'll get to that.  And explain how we can help ourselves.   But first,  let me  gently fuss at you a little bit.

OK, here goes.

Number one:  Stop BLAMING God.  Stop ACCUSING God.  STOP saying that he doesn't love you or care about you.  Just STOP it.  It's maddening.  It's all we've heard from you for almost exactly three years.

Your life is hard,  we get it.  You've had two babies in three years by two different men, neither of them taking care of you or the babies and neither of them marriage material.  God didn't do that to you.  YOU did that to you.

Your family is mean, crappy, and abusive.   God  didn't  do that to you.  The DEVIL did that to you.

Why should God "bless" you when all you do is blame him for things not of his doing and accuse him of things he has not done.

Don't you think others here have in some respects crappy lives also?  Don't you think others here have pain and wonder where on earth God is?  

Like you, I have depression and anxiety.  I am FINALLY, after 60 years of life on this earth, getting some counselng for it.  I've had this depression for longer than you have been alive.  I've questioned God on rare occassions, but by reading his word daily, taking notes, and praying, I see that none of this is his fault.  He DOES help.  He DOES love me - even on days it's hard fo function.

You know how many friends I have?  ZERO!  NONE!!  My mother just died 2.5 months ago and it was a shock to the system.  My father died three years ago - again, a shock to the system!!  It's just me and my disabled brother.  JUST US - in the whole wide world.

I don't make friends easily.  [I know some here at Worthy are probably saying, "I see why!"]  

Don't you think I worry to the point of madness at what is going to happen to my mentally retarded, autisitic, legally blind brother if I die first?!?  ALL. THE. TIME I WORRY SICK!  That is NOT God's fault.  It's my fault for building a wall around myself decades ago in my depression and shutting all others out.  I had a great career and work hard at/for my church, but personal relationships - there just aren't there.

I know tons of people, but am close to no one.

For me to blame God for this, declare that he does not love me nor care about me has NEVER entered my mind.  NEVER.

NUMBER TWO:  DO SOMETHING!

So many people have given you counsel over these three years and you take none of it to heart.  You seem to make excuses as to why the counsel won't work.

I'll give you some counsel that I've given you before and you dismissed before.  Call the police and ask them to to take you and your babies to a women's shelter.  You can get help there.  They can help you find competent sitters and jobs.  You might have to use the bus or other public transportation, but it's at least a start.  Tell the police to stay with you there in case you aren't satisfied that it is safe.

This counseling has not been easy for me.  I have to tell the truth. I have to "share".  I have to open up and be gut-wrenchingly honest about ALL the mistakes I have made.  No blaming God. No blaming others. All the mistakes I have made.  He gives me homework and Christian counsel as what to DO.  Do something!!  

You've spent three years in an intense pity party.  I've got you beat by decades.  If I, ME, can do something, you can.

My issues have had a grip on me for far too long.  I'm doing something. 

God has not forgotten you nor does he hate you.  But he will not bless you while you blame him for everything and everyone in your life that is making you miserable.

 

 

Why do people think im not doing anything. Im doing all i can. 

[AnOrangeCat]

6 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Why do people think im not doing anything. Im doing all i can. 

I think it's mostly because of length of time this has been going on and how deeply it affects you. It's hard for a lot of people to fathom being truly stuck in a situation that causes them so much distress for so long and get the sense that things haven't really progressed in a good way. Just seems like you're getting more and more worn out and stressed by it.

[Wayne222]

maybe I am not saying for sure. But God wants you to put prayer and his word first. To seek him in your life and know Jesus personally. And to follow Jesus daily and find your joy and life in him. People don't compare to walking with God. When you are near him its such a joy. Paul wrote the suffering of this age is not worthy compare to what is to come. So we should have hope for a future that cannot be compare to anything now. Far better. Also col 3 says seek those things in heaven and not earthy things. I think you need to draw nearer to God and daily.

[Figure of eighty]

1 hour ago, AnOrangeCat said:

I think it's mostly because of length of time this has been going on and how deeply it affects you. It's hard for a lot of people to fathom being truly stuck in a situation that causes them so much distress for so long and get the sense that things haven't really progressed in a good way. Just seems like you're getting more and more worn out and stressed by it.

The length is bc of 2 car accidents and my son's cancer scare. I had to let go of my job and spend months taking him to and from the hospital to see what was wrong with him. Spent time in the hospital too.My grandma abandoned my kids while at work so i couldnt work anymore. All of these things set me back and they just happened back to back..But Yeah no one knows unless theyve been in it..they just assume youre not trying by default which i dont get. Also had a blow out fight with fam bc they want to control my life. My mom called mr weak and said i shouldn't have had kids if i was gonna put them in daycare among other stuff. Gonna fast and pray for God to give me an answer. Im afraid to utilize my family bc they burned me on multiple times.. 

Im so emotionally spent tonight i could cry or throw up. Uhg

Edited November 15, 2021 by Figure of eighty