This is a true story and whom ever reads this LONG POST I appreciate it but by no means is it expected of anyone of course

[faithfull-prophet4040]

I have told this story on here a year or two back, and nobody believed me when I told it, but there was one part I left out and this may be why nobody believed me. The part I left out was that I was getting my blood tooken because of an evaluation.

 

I will tell the story again, but this time the WHOLE story. It started with me telling my counselor I don’t feel much hope for living anymore, but I can tell you right now I had no intentions on committing suicide or hurting myself, I just was into a lot of drugs, and was addicted to many of them, and alcohol too, and was starting to feel hopeless. So they wanted to send me to a phyciatric hospital just for a week to get on the right depression meds, and to talk with more experienced counselors about my drug use/childhood trauma etc... and because they said when I said I didn’t have much hope for living they took that as a cry for help as if I was going to do something serious or as if it could lead to something serious if not addressed, which I would never do something to hurt myself like I already mentioned.

 

 I like living I just didn’t see a reason for hope anymore. So I was escorted to the hospital ”ER” to get blood testing, and a urine sample done because I guess you have to get tested to make sure your healthy before being sent to a phyciatric hospital.

 

 They also had to do a evaluation by an expert in phcology to see if I ACTUALLY NEEDED TO GO FOR DEPRESSION. So while I was there when they went to take my blood, for one I’ll say I had great veins my blood was always easy to draw, and the lady that was trying to draw my blood poked me like 3 times, and finally I said can I please get another nurse to come draw my blood because she also kept stabbing me in the tendon.

 

 So instead of that she stabs the needle in my arm again and squeezes my forearm really hard, and starts pushing upwards on my forearm towards the needle, and then grabbing back down towards the bottom of my forearm again very VERY TIGHTLY and moving here hand up my forearm again, and doing it multiple times to get blood to push into the needle. I mean squeezing as hard as she possibly could too, and she was a beefy lady not a peteet one.

 

 That’s not how you take blood, and that was WITH the rubber band tied around my upper arm for the 2 minutes also, my arm was literally turning as red as a tamatoe. So I said screw it, if this is going to be how it’s going to be, then so be it, and I ungrasped her hand from my forearm and untied the band from my bicep and pulled the needle out of my arm…

 

 Was that the wisest thing to do no, but they were going too far. Then I walked out the door and the officers started chasing me, because there were officers there because they were the ones who escorted me to the hospital.
 

 So I ran like 13 feet then stopped and turned around and said look I’m not trying to run “THERE FOR I WASNT RESISTING”... And before I could finish saying anything about getting a different nurse, which is all I wanted, the officer tackled me, and he was a good 250 pounds and 5 foot 9 and another piled on top of me also a good 230 pounds 5 foot 6 then another held my legs down

 

 At this point I got angry and emotional. So I looked up, and said to God because yes at the time I was into drugs and feeling hopeless, but I still was a firm believer in God the almighty king and believed in Christ. So anyway I looked up in tears and anger, and said out loud God give me strength, and I pushed both officers off of me, and stood up while shaking the officer off of my legs. I’m 5 foot 4 200 pounds, just so all of you know I’m just mentioning these things so the story can be pictured a little more in depth, and so you know all they had to do is talk to me about switching nurses SIMPLE AS THAT, not had 3 large guys tackle me.

 

 Back to the story though, I pushed them off and shook the officer off of my legs, and that happened over and over about 6 times. The third time I was pushed to the ground a female nurse came and gave me a shot to sedate me, still it didn’t effect me and I stood back up again pushing them off of me, then she gave me another shot, and then until the nurse came and gave me a third shot of the sedative I went limp, and out of it and could barely move or talk, and was basically drooling.

 

 Then they carried me into the hospital room, and finally got a different nurse to draw my blood after strapping me down with three straps across my body, and hand cuffing me with two sets of hand cuffs on each wrist to the rails on each side of the bed a little too far if ask me, as if the sedating drugs and straps weren’t already enough.

 

 What I’m getting too though is this while I was sedated heavily strapped down from chest to knees and hand cuffed with 4 sets of hand cuffs there was one officer left in the room watching me, and he kept choking me from behind the bed, and yes I mean choking me with both hands not his fingers, and this was after I was sedated handcuffed, and strapped down to the bed.

 

 And this is the truth, because my mom walked in and caught him doing it, I remember he would keep grasping my neck very tightly with both hands, and before my mom ever even brought it up to me I brought it up to her, and she said she knows she walked in, and seen it her self, and all I remember was being heavily sedated and gasping for my breath and blacking in and out for what felt like 15 minutes it felt like darkness, and I don’t mean like sleeping or having my eyes closed.

 

 My mom told the nurses I guess, and the police officer just told them he was checking my pulse, which he wasn’t he was choking me with both hands, and because he’s a police officer he got away with it. I never tried bringing it to court and pressing charges, because I always remember Jesus saying forgive a man not 7 times but 77 times, and to turn the cheek when someone does you wrong, and how when they nailed him to the cross he said forgive them father for they not know what they do. So I figured it was best to forgive the man realize he was probably angry that I gave him such a hard struggle outside the room, and to leave it in the past.

 

Now my question is... should I have forgiven the man, and not brought it to court like I did or should I have made him stand accountable for his actions, lose his job and sit in jail for who knows what possibly attempt of murder on a a defenseless sedated handcuffed strapped down young man?

 

 I ask because I am just in this past week starting to feel emotions about the subject, and starting to feel a little anger about it. I feel like he got off to easily, and what if he tried doing that to another defensliss person. I guess before I always just figured if he turns to God and repents he will be forgiven, if not let God handle him when the man passes away sadly.

 

If you read this whole story without just skipping past words I  thank you greatly and it’s much appreciated God bless your kind heart this was a long post and every word of this story is true not a single word is added too or tooken from. I also wanted to say I will be fixing this post into paragraphs, as someone told me it was difficult to read.
 

ALSO I WANTED TO MENTION I WAS NOT ON DRUGS THE DAY THIS ALL HAPPENED NOR WAS I RESISTING THE POLICE OFFICERS BEFORE THEY TACKLED ME.

 

I did my best to fix paragraphs in the post, and added certain words to explain story better.

Edited May 2 by faithfull-prophet4040

[Ray12614]

Wow, that is an experience for sure . . . not sure how to reply except to ask How are you doing today? 

On a side note:

We can feel anger about being treated unjustly by people, but, we must forgive them and allow God to sort all of that out at the Bema seat of Christ, OR, the Great White Throne Judgement. You can be sure God knows how to deal with all people and not just saved people. I would be praying asking for their salvation and them turning their lives over to Jesus. That will have another side effect of helping you have compassion on them and forgiveness will soon be part of how God changes you too.

[Sower]

2 hours ago, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

If you read this whole story without just skipping past words I  thank you greatly and it’s much appreciated God bless your kind heart this was a long post and every word of this story is true not a single word is added too or tooken from.

If you want to really get even with that cop, then share the good news, the gospel, with him.
To whom much is given, much is required.....

[Dennis1209]

As Ray above asks, how are you doing today?

I read your entire post and am unsure how to respond, having never experienced something similar. There is a technique of placing one's fingers behind and under the chin bone to subdue and control a person into submission. Are you sure that was not the case, especially with your resistance?

I can say this: we are commanded to forgive because it is the righteous thing to do and because Jesus forgave and died for us. Whether your or your mom’s perception was correct or not, replaying them in your mind is unhealthy and will build over time.

Physically and physiologically, unforgiveness hurts us more than forgiveness. Unforgiveness harbors and contributes to recompense and hate, the opposite of loving one another. Extended dwelling on such things eventually leads to health problems and early death, I would surmise.

Christians are discouraged from laying out grievances before a Gentile court of law.

For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people. (Hebrews 10:30)

Just my 2₵

[RdJ]

Wow. Sounds like George Floyd with Chauvin.

On one hand you have to protect others, but will they even believe you? You could reach out to see if he's sorry, but it may make things worse and I wouldn't dare do that. Some people might say you have to go to the police to protect others, but what if they won't believe you anyway. How can you prove he did it?

Evil.

 

Edited April 3 by RdJ

[Jayne]

Could you go back and edit your post and put it into paragraphs.

Just go to the end of every few sentences and hit the "enter" button.  That way we can read it more easily.

I found your story very hard to read and didn't get it all.

[Marathoner]

7 hours ago, faithfull-prophet4040 said:

I have told this story on here a year or two back, and nobody believed me when I told it, but there was one part I left out and this may be why nobody believed me.

The part I left out was that I was getting my blood tooken because of an evaluation.... The story I told is this, I will tell the story again but this time the WHOLE story. It’s started with me telling my counselor I don’t feel much hope for living anymore but I had no intention in committing suicide or hurting myself, I just was into a lot of drugs and addicted to many of them and alcohol too, and was starting to feel hopeless so they wanted to send me to a phyciatrist hospital just for a week to get on the right depression meds and to talk with more experienced counselors about my drug use/childhood trauma etc... and because they said when I said I didn’t have much hope for living they took that as a cry for help as if I was going to do something serious or as if it could lead to something serious if not addressed, which I would never do something to hurt myself I like living I just didn’t see a reason for hope anymore.

So I was escorted to the hospital ”ER” to get blood testing, and a urine sample done because I guess you have to get tested to make sure your healthy before being sent to a phyciatrist hospital. and also they had to do a evaluation by an expert in phcology to see if I ACTUALLY NEEDED TO GO FOR DEPRESSION. So while I was there when they went to take my blood, for one I’ll say I had great veins my blood was always easy to draw, and the lady that was trying to draw my blood poked me like 3 times and finally I said can I please get another nurse to come draw my blood because she kept stabbing me in the tendon also... So instead of that she stabs the needle in my arm again and squeezes my forearm really hard, and starts pushing upwards towards the needle, and then grabbing back down towards the bottom of my forearm again very VERY TIGHTLY and moving here hand up my forearm again and doing it multiple times to get blood to push into the needle and I mean squeezing as hard as she possibly could and she was a beefy lady not a peteet one.

That’s not how you take blood , and that was WITH the rubber band tied around my upper arm for the 2 minutes, my arm was literally turning as red as a tamatoe. So I said screw it, if this is going to be how it’s going to be, then so be it, and I ungrasped her hand from my forearm and untied the band from my bicep and pulled the needle out of my arm, was that the wisest thing to do no, but they were going too far. Then I walked out the door and the officers started chasing me, because there were officers there because they were the ones who escorted me to the hospital, so I ran like 13 feet then stopped and turned around and said look I’m not trying to run... And before I could finish  saying anything about getting a different nurse the officer tackled me, and he was a good 250 pounds and 5 foot 9 and another piled on top of me also a good 230 pounds 5 foot 6 then another held my legs down at that point I got angry and emotional, so I looked up and said to God because yes at the time I was into drugs and feeling hopeless, but I still was a firm believer in God the almighty king and believes and Christ.

So anyway I looked up in tears and anger, and said out loud God give me strength, and I pushed both officers off of me, and stood up while shaking the officer off of my legs. The officer on my legs was about 5 foot 5 190 pounds, and I’m 5 foot 4 200 pounds, just so all of you know I’m just mentioning these things so the story can be pictured a little more in depth. But back to the story I pushed them off and shook the officer off of my legs, and that happened over and over about 6 times. The third time I was pushed to the ground a female nurse came and gave me a shot to sedate me, still it didn’t effect me and I stood back up again pushing them off of me, then she gave me another shot, and then until the nurse came and gave me a third shot of the sedative I went limp, and out of it and could barely move or talk and was basically drooling.

Then they carried me into the hospital room, and finally got a different nurse to draw my blood after strapping me down with three straps across my body, and hand cuffing me with two sets of hand cuffs on each wrist to the rails on each side of the bed a little too far if ask me, as if the sedating drugs and straps weren’t already enough. What I’m getting too though is this while I was sedated heavily strapped down from chest to knees and hand cuffed with 4 sets of hand cuffs there was one officer left in the room watching me, and he kept choking me from behind the bed, and it’s the truth because my mom walked in and caught him doing it, he would keep grasping my neck very tightly with both hands, and before my mom ever even brought it up to me I brought it up to her, and she said she knows she walked in, and seen it her self, and all I remember was being heavily sedated and gasping for my breath and blacking in and out for what felt like 15 minutes it felt like darkness, and I don’t mean like sleeping or having my eyes closed.

My mom told the nurses I guess, and the police officer just told them he was checking my pulse, which he wasn’t he was choking me with both hands, and because he’s a police officer he got away with it. I never tried bringing it to court and pressing charges, because I always remember Jesus saying forgive a man not 7 times but 77 times, and to turn the cheek when someone does you wrong, and how when they nailed him to the cross he said forgive them father for they not know what they do. So I figured it was best to forgive the man realize he was probably angry that I gave him such a hard struggle outside the room, and to leave it in the past. Now my question is... should I have forgiven the man, and not brought it to court like I did or should I have made him stand accountable for his actions, lose his job and sit in jail for who knows what possibly attempt of murder on a a defenseless sedated handcuffed strapped down young man? I ask because I am just in this past week starting to feel emotions about the subject, and starting to feel a little anger about it. I feel like he got off to easily, and what if he tried doing that to another defensliss person. I guess before I always just figured if he turns to God and repents he will be forgiven, if not let God handle him when the man passes away sadly.

If you read this whole story without just skipping past words I  thank you greatly and it’s much appreciated God bless your kind heart this was a long post and every word of this story is true not a single word is added too or tooken from.

@Jayne, I hope the above helps? All I did was break the OP's post into chunks approximating paragraphs. 

[Marathoner]

I'm familiar with both the setting and circumstances, @faithfull-prophet4040. It appears that you were placed in an observation room with restraints; this isn't done unless an individual in a secure psychiatric ward is violent and/or combative with other patients or staff. Observation rooms are monitored by closed circuit camera systems, so whatever transpires inside of that room is viewed by staff both in real time and also via recorded footage. That's why such a room is called an observation room, my friend. Considering the circumstances, it seems to me that your treatment was/is mandated by court order? I ask because your narrative suggests that you were committed for extended observation in a locked-down psychiatric facility. 

That makes sense because safety and security is paramount while your anti-psychotic medication regimen is adjusted to different dosages. I don't think you are entirely responsible for your own actions, my friend. I understand. 

 

[Jayne]

16 minutes ago, Marathoner said:

@Jayne, I hope the above helps? All I did was break the OP's post into chunks approximating paragraphs. 

Whew!  Thanks.  I'll read the whole thing now.

[Marathoner]

I understand what you're going through, @faithfull-prophet4040. That's why I know you aren't entirely accountable for your actions. It doesn't diminish the effect those actions have upon others, but therein lies the key to understanding.

During a psychotic episode, we aren't perceiving reality in a manner consistent with those around us. In other words, we aren't existing in the same world. Our insular world is a warped and twisted facsimile of the world that other people are living in. What do I mean by insular?

Insular = limited only to ourselves and one other: the Lord. Only the Lord knows what our warped and twisted world is like. He is the only One who knows what we endure on account of psychosis. Other people don't know and have no clue, but some possess insight into what it's like...

Like myself. We don't suffer from the same issues but we do share something in common: psychosis. The psychosis we experience isn't the same, but the same warping and twisting is at work. I do not officially suffer from a psychotic disorder; I suffer from a mood disorder. However, the most severe type of major depressive disorder has what's called "psychotic features," and that's what I suffer from. It's easier to call this "psychotic depression."

Unlike psychotic disorders, psychotic depression is not affected by medication. Therapy also has no effect. It resists all forms of treatment with the exception of the following:

A frontal lobotomy. This barbaric procedure was abandoned many years ago. Nevertheless, it's the only known "cure."

Electroconvulsive Therapy, known as ECT. ECT has been shown to provide short-term relief from psychotic depression. There are many undesirable consequences and side effects associated with ECT, however. 

A recent phenomenon known as Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation using MRI technology. The side effects are different from ECT but worse in some ways. It can provide short-term relief comparable to ECT.

I became aware of the psychosis involved with depression because the Spirit of the Lord intervened, making me aware of the difference between what I perceived and what God declared. In this way, I was enpowered to become completely accountable for my own actions during a cycle of severe depression. Do I still experience psychotic features?

Yes. Am I powerless against it? No, because I'm aware of the psychosis while it is happening. It no longer rules over my existence on this earth. That's the gift of the Lord, and it's my prayer for you.