I don't want to be a Christian anymore.

[Charlie744]

Once again, if you do not mind!

Get by yourself and just let go and let God. There is no magic words to say… don’t look for any external sources to relieve you of your circumstances. 
 

I wish I could explain it to you just how easy it is to let go and let God! I wish I could explain to you how I understand just how impossible that must seem to you. 

I will bet that EVERYONE in this  has sat in the seat you are sitting now. It is a very dark and ugly place to be.

Please take the advice of the folks in here - just go into private place and just CRY until you can’t cry anymore… I promise you when you are worn down by your tears you WILL LOOK UP AND SINCERELY ASK GOD TO TAKE OVER. Ask Him for His peace that goes beyond any understanding. 
 

Once you do this you WILL find Him and He will begin the healing process. God bless! 

 

[AnOrangeCat]

12 hours ago, Jayne said:

[1] Perseverance = What's that? It's when you, in suffering, just pick up one foot and put it down in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Some Bibles translate this word as endurance or patience or steadfastness. No matter, it all means the same thing - just keep moving. Just keep picking up one foot and - unwilling to lie down in defeat - keep putting it down in front of the other. Keep on moving, brothers and sisters.

Interestingly immediately after the greeting in the book of James we're told to count it all joy when we experience trials because it brings about perseverance (or patience in some translations). It's hard to do this but I think we'd all benefit from practicing an attitude of thankfulness and thanking God for little things and even the tough situations we face. Admittedly I don't often succeed at this in the heat of the moment, but after the fact it gets easier.

Looking back on things my own very unpleasant personal trial by fire involved years of abuse and exploitation at the hands of family members. Horrible, horrible stuff that left me feeling like I had to walk on eggshells all day every day and at times had me going after food thrown away. But more than anything else in my life I feel like that long experience and that God delivered me out of it cemented my faith. It's hard not to look at the hopelessness from my own efforts to get out or get help failing and then at the end of it all see how it reversed so favorably through no effort of my own and not see God at work.

Similarly ever since I was a teenager I suffered from bouts of some intrusive thoughts (probably a form of OCD) that left me panicking and crying because I worried that they'd offended God or blasphemed the Holy Spirit. Later on in life it actually served as a motivating force and brought me closer to God. Since that point both the frequency and intensity have died down a lot. It reminds me of Paul's thorn in his flesh that he prayed to remove but ultimately served a purpose. Except in my case the purpose was eventually fulfilled and then removed.

[warrior12]

The words below are powerful and outline the believer part that he will also have to suffer for Christ sake.   That is huge to injest and digest, but it is written.

Philippians 1:29 ESV / 15 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful

For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake,

 

Edited May 1 by warrior12

[farouk]

On 4/30/2024 at 6:49 PM, deva1 said:

Hi. If you can access youtube listen to "I won't let go " by Rascal Flatts. Much love from a fellow nurse. The training isn't easy ♥️ . 

Hi @deva1 In view of Scriptures such as Philippians 1.6: "He that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ", it can be said that if there was ever true, Spirit-imparted life in Christ there at all, then it won't ever go away. This is a big 'IF', of course.

Edited May 2 by farouk

[Coruscating]

On 4/30/2024 at 3:18 PM, Figure of eighty said:

I've been baptized twice. I feel I don't have a true love for God like other people. Instead I'm very angry and hateful towards God( in my heart) 

I can't change. 

I feel like avoiding any ignoring God so I won't rack up more sins for myself. I still remember the dream I had. I don't think church is a place for me anymore ... so now I'm going to willfully self isolate  

I think once I finish my nursing school and things are less of a struggle with my kids and work ect then maybe I'll go back to God. 

I can't with my hateful heart right now. 

So this is my solution. I don't want to be toxic. So I'm just gonna take alot of time to myself and be alone. 

I think I'll spend time with God when I'm less hateful. 

 

I think I'll make this my last post since this is my solution. 

 

 

@Figure of eighty I don't know you, but your post has been in my mind and you in my prayers. I hope I'm not out of place by answering you like this.

Don't go away from God. Your prayer can be as sad as: "Lord, today I want to live as if You didn't exist —but help me not to want this. I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility that being a Christian brings. Every way I turn, I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I am tired. I feel deprived and I'm angry. Help me see. Help me to want to see. Make me want to grow in You; I don't want to do that now, but how good it would be if I wanted to. Meet me where I'm at, because I am weary of thinking that I must be much taller to reach you. I feel small, I need rest in my smallness; let me be still near You, even if my flesh tells me to be away from You, may the spirit be fed by You. Give me faith to believe even in this prayer, help me in my sincerity. My heart is this one, it is in this state, but to whom would I give it if not You?"

Because, Figure of Eighty, where you are going now is a very deep well. And when you reach the bottom, where you think it can't get worse, you will find a drain and descend even deeper. There are no free lunches with the other side.
There are no grey areas. There are only darkness and light. The neutral space where you think you are entering doesn't exist.
The control you think you have, the "I'll check in later", the "then I will do it" is a consequence of a complete blindness to what you are risking.

You don't need to love Him out of duty. God is someone to fall in love with, by knowing Him. He can work with a sincere heart regardless of its state. He is patient and He does want to be known. And He is so deserving of love. I pray that you live this.

 

[farouk]

2 minutes ago, Coruscating said:

 

@Figure of eighty I don't know you, but your post has been in my mind and you in my prayers. I hope I'm not out of place by answering you like this.

Don't go away from God. Your prayer can be as sad as: "Lord, today I want to live as if You didn't exist —but help me not to want this. I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility that being a Christian brings. Every way I turn, I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I am tired. I feel deprived and I'm angry. Help me see. Help me to want to see. Make me want to grow in You; I don't want to do that now, but how good it would be if I wanted to. Meet me where I'm at, because I am weary of thinking that I must be much taller to reach you. I feel small, I need rest in my smallness; let me be still near You, even if my flesh tells me to be away from You, may the spirit be fed by You. Give me faith to believe even in this prayer, help me in my sincerity. My heart is this one, it is in this state, but to whom would I give it if not You?"

Because, Figure of Eighty, where you are going now is a very deep well. And when you reach the bottom, where you think it can't get worse, you will find a drain and descend even deeper. There are no free lunches with the other side.
There are no grey areas. There are only darkness and light. The neutral space where you think you are entering doesn't exist.
The control you think you have, the "I'll check in later", the "then I will do it" is a consequence of a complete blindness to what you are risking.

You don't need to love Him out of duty. God is someone to fall in love with, by knowing Him. He can work with a sincere heart regardless of its state. He is patient and He does want to be known. And He is so deserving of love. I pray that you live this.

 

Hi @Coruscating I am reminded of the words of the Lord Jesus:

"Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth."

[farouk]

@Coruscating i.e., ....If we keep refusing the light, the Lord may well just give us what we say we want and leave us in the darkness.

[Coruscating]

24 minutes ago, farouk said:

@Coruscating i.e., ....If we keep refusing the light, the Lord may well just give us what we say we want and leave us in the darkness.

I believe God doesn't leave us in the darkness, God lives through darkness with us and Is always at hand, if we want Him, but we are the owners of our choices.

 

"When my soul was embittered,
    when I was pricked in heart,
I was brutish and ignorant;
    I was like a beast toward You.

Nevertheless, I am continually with You;
    You hold my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel,
    and afterward You will receive me to glory."

(Psalm 73:21-24)

 

Edited May 4 by Coruscating
typo

[farouk]

2 minutes ago, Coruscating said:

I believe God doesn't leave us in the darkness, God lives through darkness with us and Is always at hand, if we want Him, but we are the owners of our choices.

 

"When my soul was embittered,
    when I was pricked in heart,
I was brutish and ignorant;
    I was like a beast toward You.

Nevertheless, I am continually with You;
    You hold my right hand.
You guide me with Your counsel,
    and afterward You will receive me to glory."

(Psalm 73:21-24)

 

@Coruscating Great Psalm there.

There are also solemn warnings such as in Hebrews 10.26.

[Coruscating]

1 minute ago, farouk said:

@Coruscating Great Psalm there.

There are also solemn warnings such as in Hebrews 10.26.

Yes, the Judgment will be there, but until then we will have everything we need for life.