Making Big Decisions

[timf]

The decision to move that has been considered for five years does not sound like a binary decision (ie should I move to this particular house, or stay). It sounds more like a decision to remain with a particular situation or not. This could refer to a divorce, a young person trying to get away from their family, or even someone getting a hard time where they work.

In an abusive situation the first priority is to get somewhere safe. Sometimes the answer is to stay;

1Co 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Some people use a measurement standard of their own preferences to make a decision. A more biblical method might be to consider where one can do the most good.

You are closest to the situation. Since it is something you have considered fro years, it must be a difficult decision. You may want to also consider options that do not involve moving at all. For example, if you are dealing with a difficult person, you can start to talk about Jesus with them which often results in them leaving you alone.

It may also be possible to experiment with steps shorter than a move. For example, just aiding an activity to your schedule can divert you from people or a situation for a little time (sort of like a mini move) that might shed light on what the effects of a greater absence might be.

In the last analysis, you are going to have to decide. However, you may wish to avoid seeing a move as the only solution if for five years it has been seen as the only option. A narrowing of focus can exclude other options from being considered.

 

 

[cma]

1 hour ago, Deborah_ said:

Many Christians have no choice but to live with unbelievers, if they're members of the family. I don't think that's what Paul is thinking of in 2 Corinthians 6. What he's warning against is "partnerships" - marriages, business ventures, and so on. It's the same with employment - most of us have to work for and/or with unbelievers. A purely Christian workplace is a luxury.

 

thanks!

[NConly]

1 hour ago, Deborah_ said:

21 hours ago, NConly said:

5: 8 gives a hint

8 Woe unto them that join house to house, that lay field to field, till there be no place, that they may be placed alone in the midst of the earth!

I would say that's a "no" to owning a second home. Fortunately we've never been rich enough to be tempted in that direction! 

I do not think this verse means a second home. It seems to me to be saying one will be happier living in the countryside where they can find some piece and quiet in their life from time to time rather than living in a subdivision with zero lot space.

[Tristen]

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

The Greek word translated "rule" (Gk. 'brabyu'o') means to act as a guide/umpire/arbiter. That is, "Let the peace of God guide your heart". Therefore, when making decisions, we should seek the answer that comes with God's "peace".

As much as is within my power, I will not make a decision that feels pressured or confused (unsure). I usually find there is an option that just feels "right" (peaceful) - even if that peaceful option does not make complete sense to me at the time.

I'd also run the options by trusted Christians (ideally a Christian spouse if you are so fortunate) - Not-so-much for their intellectual arguments (though these should also be considered), but rather for comments indicating a lack of "peace". For example, listen out for comments like "I'm not sure why but I don't feel comfortable about that option" or "something doesn't feel quite right" etc.

 

[farouk]

On 6/1/2025 at 8:52 PM, InChristsLight said:

I've been thinking about what you said about extremely sharp clarity. When I pray I ask for clarity. I think I know what you mean with extremely sharp, it's almost like a self will projection that can have excitement attached. Sadly I feel I may run the majority of my life on that. What would be the main difference between the Holy Spirit wisdom of clarity vs extremely sharp clarity?

Hi @InChristsLight Well, decisions do need to be accompanied by prayer and Scripture meditation, right?

[InChristsLight]

20 hours ago, farouk said:

Hi @InChristsLight Well, decisions do need to be accompanied by prayer and Scripture meditation, right?

Yes Indeed. Our situation is in regards to needing to move due to finances. I've been looking at verses regarding this. I just listened to a good sermon from in touch minestry by Charles Stanley called Waiting on the Lord. Main take away was to have Patience, Humility, Faith, and Courage to wait for God's direction.

[com7fy8]

On 6/1/2025 at 8:52 PM, InChristsLight said:

What would be the main difference between the Holy Spirit wisdom of clarity vs extremely sharp clarity?

On 6/2/2025 at 8:54 AM, Tristen said:

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

The Greek word translated "rule" (Gk. 'brabyu'o') means to act as a guide/umpire/arbiter. That is, "Let the peace of God guide your heart". Therefore, when making decisions, we should seek the answer that comes with God's "peace".

"Practice makes perfect."

All the time, we can be prayerful to choose and do what God has us doing in His peace. And then - - - after we have been doing all the little things in submission to how God guides us in this peace . . . if a big thing comes, just keep on submitting to God in His peace and see what He does with us.

And yes God will use His word, plus God will use us to share as family helping each other, so we grow in loving and sharing and helping as Jesus' family. After all, Colossians 3:15 says we are called "in one body" to be ruled by His peace. So, yes God in ruling us in His peace will have us coordinated with one another.

So, this is not an isolated thing, with you on your own. And you will need to use sense, indeed, in relating with other family members and other Christians in working things out. And yes as Deborah has indicated, there are things to discover > you will not know what you are choosing, really, that God will be getting you into. He will bring us to more and better than we could plan ahead of time. And it will be for all the loving of different people who will be included in the process.

And as we mature in this, then we will be able to handle more which God will bring . . . like how you had a small bicycle ready for your little child when your child was ready; but then comes the adjusting and correction and sharing with others.  

[InChristsLight]

On 6/6/2025 at 7:13 AM, com7fy8 said:

"Practice makes perfect."

All the time, we can be prayerful to choose and do what God has us doing in His peace. And then - - - after we have been doing all the little things in submission to how God guides us in this peace . . . if a big thing comes, just keep on submitting to God in His peace and see what He does with us.

And yes God will use His word, plus God will use us to share as family helping each other, so we grow in loving and sharing and helping as Jesus' family. After all, Colossians 3:15 says we are called "in one body" to be ruled by His peace. So, yes God in ruling us in His peace will have us coordinated with one another.

So, this is not an isolated thing, with you on your own. And you will need to use sense, indeed, in relating with other family members and other Christians in working things out. And yes as Deborah has indicated, there are things to discover > you will not know what you are choosing, really, that God will be getting you into. He will bring us to more and better than we could plan ahead of time. And it will be for all the loving of different people who will be included in the process.

And as we mature in this, then we will be able to handle more which God will bring . . . like how you had a small bicycle ready for your little child when your child was ready; but then comes the adjusting and correction and sharing with others.  

Thanks for this. I like how you said "In His Peace". This peace has been what I rely on to guide me like a compass. Even if the road less traveled seems daunting, this peace brings the courage to make the journey. Very well said, thank you very much.