Disney Announces Bold New Plan to Go Bankrupt for Diversity

[George]

BURBANK, CA (Worthy Satire) – In a stunning press conference held next to a pride flag made entirely out of fired employee name tags, Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed the entertainment giant’s fourth round of layoffs in the past year, touting the move as “a bold step toward financial ruin in the name of progress.”

“Some companies stop at going woke,” Iger said, adjusting his Mickey Mouse ears. “But we at Disney are committed to going broke as well — all the way. By 2035, we fully intend to be bankrupt, morally validated, and potentially rebranded as a nonprofit empathy collective.”

Industry analysts noted that TV ratings for Disney-owned networks have dropped faster than Snow White’s box office numbers, while revenue has plummeted like a lemming off a Pride Mountain float. Disney+ subscriptions are also in freefall, especially after the launch of its new all-genders musical reboot, Cis-ney’s Fantasia: The Reckoning.

“It’s simple math,” said Disney’s Chief Inclusivity Officer, Taylor/Hunter/Leaf. “Fewer viewers means fewer dollars, which means more layoffs. Which means more room for gender-fluid squirrels to headline prime-time slots.”

Despite the layoffs, Disney plans to hire more sensitivity coordinators than animators in 2026. The next live-action reboot will feature an all-nonbinary cast of The Avengers battling toxic masculinity with interpretive dance.

“Our dream is that one day, no one will see our movies,” Iger said proudly. “And when we’ve lost every shareholder dollar, we’ll know we did the right thing.”

Critics warn that this strategy could result in total collapse.

“That’s the point,” responded one anonymous Imagineer. “If we don’t bankrupt ourselves for virtue, who will?”

Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]

View the full article

[Luther]

8 hours ago, George said:

BURBANK, CA (Worthy Satire) – In a stunning press conference held next to a pride flag made entirely out of fired employee name tags, Disney CEO Bob Iger confirmed the entertainment giant’s fourth round of layoffs in the past year, touting the move as “a bold step toward financial ruin in the name of progress.”

“Some companies stop at going woke,” Iger said, adjusting his Mickey Mouse ears. “But we at Disney are committed to going broke as well — all the way. By 2035, we fully intend to be bankrupt, morally validated, and potentially rebranded as a nonprofit empathy collective.”

Industry analysts noted that TV ratings for Disney-owned networks have dropped faster than Snow White’s box office numbers, while revenue has plummeted like a lemming off a Pride Mountain float. Disney+ subscriptions are also in freefall, especially after the launch of its new all-genders musical reboot, Cis-ney’s Fantasia: The Reckoning.

“It’s simple math,” said Disney’s Chief Inclusivity Officer, Taylor/Hunter/Leaf. “Fewer viewers means fewer dollars, which means more layoffs. Which means more room for gender-fluid squirrels to headline prime-time slots.”

Despite the layoffs, Disney plans to hire more sensitivity coordinators than animators in 2026. The next live-action reboot will feature an all-nonbinary cast of The Avengers battling toxic masculinity with interpretive dance.

“Our dream is that one day, no one will see our movies,” Iger said proudly. “And when we’ve lost every shareholder dollar, we’ll know we did the right thing.”

Critics warn that this strategy could result in total collapse.

“That’s the point,” responded one anonymous Imagineer. “If we don’t bankrupt ourselves for virtue, who will?”

Worthy Satire is meant purely for comedic purposes—after all, as Proverbs reminds us, “Laughter is good medicine.” But behind every satire is a real story, video, or event. For the unspun version of the headline, be sure to check out the original source. [ Source of the Satire (Read More…) ]

View the full article

Synagogue of Satan took a good thing that Walt Disney created and utterly morally destroyed it. That's why nobody cares about Disney. And if you're afraid to step outside of your mind and say it they got you policing your own self. 

 

Edited June 4 by Luther
no edit

[Michael37]

10 minutes ago, Luther said:

Synagogue of Satan took a good thing that Walt Disney created and utterly morally destroyed it. That's why nobody cares about Disney. And if you're afraid to step outside of your mind and say it they got you policing your own self. 

Have you studied the original Methodists, and where the Methodist denomination is now???

[Luther]

34 minutes ago, Michael37 said:

Have you studied the original Methodists, and where the Methodist denomination is now???

Michael, we're talking about Disney. Our cultural shift across the board is due to communism created by Karl Marx. That's not his real name of course. 

You know about the Frankfort school right? this liberal mindset that has pervaded even the Christian churches of our day was  influenced by Bolsheviks 100 years ago. True Christians don't become liberals, but liberals have influenced those who at least went to church and tried to live Godly lives. 

We've been attacked over and over again generation after generation with smut. It's finally showing its fruit in our society. Don't blame the Methodist Church. 

Edited June 4 by Luther
better spelling

[Michael37]

9 hours ago, Luther said:

Don't blame the Methodist Church. 

I don't. I see the same entropy at work in many institutions. Disney is just one of myriad institutions and conventions to bite the dust of liberal humanism.