is 19 too young to get married?

[>> Hannah <<]

i know i need to sort it for his sake. just scared

[Smalcald]

Hi Hannah,

We have been married 20 years. My wife was 22 when we got married and we had dated for three years prior to marriage. The only advice I have for a good marriage is to really know someone very very well BEFORE you get married, AND to realize that people's personalities in general don't change. Clearly talk about how your life will work in marriage. How many children do you want and when, who will take care of them and how, will you have a career, or will you sacrifice your career for his, who will do the chores, who will cook, who will clean, who will manage the money and pay the bills? All of these things should be clearly spelled out and discussed between you, even though they seem dull and boring and mundane, the essential fact is this is a person you will be living with for the rest of your life, these things make a huge difference.

The main advice I would have is that in 20 years no one will remember if you change plans now, it may be a big hassle to delay the wedding or not go through with it, but believe me 20 years from now, no one will remember that ( in two years no one will remember it). Now if the marriage is not good and your misgivings have grounding, well in 20 years indeed you will remember very very well what you should have done so long ago. Only you know if you can make a promise to this man and to God that you will marry once, if you are getting married with any idea that if things don't work out I can divorce, you should not marry as divorce should not be an option for a Christian (not that there is not biblical divorce, just that you cannot plan for it) only you know if you can really make that promise to God and your future husband.

If you have misgivings call of the engagement, take a year off, if the love is true and after a year or two you still wish to marry him, it will happen. I mean marriage is for a lifetime, one or two years should be no big deal to wait if it is real. I would just suggest to not be caught up in the planning, expense and hubbub surrounding a marriage, but look at this clearly, it is your life.

[Arthur Durnan]

19? Can't true love wait a mite? A lifetime is a long time to be with another person. Not too long, of course, if God has brot you both together. What about his parents & siblings? Don't forget you'll be marrying THEM TOO. Their likes, dislikes, love for God or no love for God. Do you both make enough money to ensure bills are met each month? What about REGULARITY in worship? Is he prepared to honor the Lord with regular attendance in God's House? What does he believe about tithing one's income? Is he an avid reader of God's Holy Word? Will he make a good spiritual leader under the Headship of Christ Jesus? Are you both GROWING in your love & knowledge of the Lord Who saved you? A lot of things can go wrong quickly between 19 and, say, "long-off" 25 that can sweep you off your feet unless you're firmly established in Christ & His holy life-principles. 19 is not wrong, but 19 is not too late either. A lot of men can RUSH women into marriage wherein much of the ardor wears thin. Often, and sometimes too often, a man (even centered in Jesus) "needs" a spouse NOW; a woman (centered in Jesus) can ponder first and WAIT for God's precise moment. Is 21 too late? It all comes down to choosing your lifetime sweetheart WISELY and in the WILL of God. Not lagging behind Jesus the Nazarene. Not running ahead of Him either. BLESSINGS!!

http://arthurdurnan.freeyellow.com

[Iryssa]

i can imagine ash writing something similar to that post in a few years Ronald, im not 100% clear why were doing it now, i do love him. there is no rush. just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

It's not as hard to cancel a wedding as it seems...believe me, I've done it.

[>> Hannah <<]

i can imagine ash writing something similar to that post in a few years Ronald, im not 100% clear why were doing it now, i do love him. there is no rush. just hard to back out n stop plans now wen its in 4 n a bit months

It's not as hard to cancel a wedding as it seems...believe me, I've done it.

hey Iryssa, how did you go about it? what did you say? how did he feel? x

[>> Hannah <<]

i really dont know what to do

[Constant]

My husband and I got together when I was 17 and he was 19. We dated 1 year and got married. He was my first boyfriend and I am very blessed that everything we have been together made us the strong couple that we are today. I do wish however that we got christian counseled before we got married. I wasn't a christian then but, in the end, everything worked out. Marriage is hard. It isn't the fairy tale most believe it to be. It isn't just you, it is your partner too. Money, descisons, EVERYTHING. Compromise, trust, communication are important. That person should be your bestfriend. You will argue over little petty things but in the end of the argument, you have each other and most of all, have God. To me, age doesn't matter.

Two of my friends just got married yesterday and they are 18 and 21. Been together for 3 years. Never lived together and she lives in a different state. He is in the Marine Corps. So, they are proud christians and they did ask alot of questions about marriage but, they feel that they were ready to be husband and wife and they are happy. I am praying that it will be a blessed union for them all their lives. Look to God, pray about it and if it feels right, do it.

[>> Hannah <<]

thank you constant xx

[>> Hannah <<]

i think some people our belittleing how hard this decision to call of the wedding is, some people seem to think i just say yes or no

Edited March 16, 2006 by >> Hannah <<

[maxm2820]

hey, i'm 19 n i am gettin married in 5months to a guy who is 21. we are both christians. are we too young to get married?

i would really appreciate some feedback on this. x

my husband and i have been married for almost one year. i 19 and he turned 19 two weeks after we got married. so obviously i dont think it's all that bad of an idea! BUT it all depends! Tony and have been doing great, but we've also been friends with each other sence our frehman year in high school and dated for almost two years before we got married. I knew from the begining that Tony was going to go into the coast guard and that meant (financially) we'd be at least alright (if that makes sence). i guess it all depends on how you feel about what God wants! a week and a half befor we got married i started to ask similar questions. i was about to call off the whole thing. Tony wasn't even going to be 19 we he got married!!!!!! but one night i was out in the front yard begging God to help me and it dawned on me; Tony and i know that we love each other and i know that God wants us to be together. i just wasn't sure when he wanted us to get married, y'know? i wasn't sure if we could handle it yet or if we could even financially make it. then i realised that i was completely ignoring one of my favorite promises from God: " And surley I am with you always, even to the very end of the age". God promises he'll take care of you, he promises that He'll take care of your fiance, and more importantly God promises to take care of your marriage!!! (if that's what supposed to happen) Marriage is a VERY imiportant thing to him!!! from there all i needed to do was to make sure that Tony and I were really "mant to be". everything else in my eyes was in Gods hands. it would have been in His hands whether we were together or not!....i guess the point is (sorry it's so long, but i know what you're going through. at least you started thinking about this months befor the wedding, i only had two weeks )...anyway, the point is, if you know you're supposed to be with him (not whether or not you can offord it, or how you two are going to change over time, ONLY if you two are "ment to be") then everything else is in Gods hands and ALWAYS will be. however, if you realise that you two aren't then it would be wise to talk with him and consider canceling. anywho, Tonys standing over my shoulder and being a butthead so i gotta go. i hope this makes sence and helps. sorry it's so long!!!!! ~megan