Confessions

[Guest moonrakerbritish]

Pray for me friends, for not only have I been a victim of verbal/emotional/mental abuse all my life, I am also an abuser.

I too have abused, I fear God will simply not save my soul. It's like, I simply have to be happy, period, and smiley, period, and self-confident and sure of who I am, or God won't help me, he'll say "no" and walk away.

[nebula]

Two words - NOT TRUE!

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John - some verse)

The only work that God requires for salvation is for us to believe in the One (Jesus) whom He has sent. This is all! (That comes from a Scripture quote, too, but I don't remember the details.)

Psalm 133, I believe, has a verse: "If You O Lord kept a record of sin / O Lord! Who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, and therefore You are feared."

You see, the Lord can stop the cycle of abuse in your life, and you made the first step towards that healing!

Also, about happiness - did you ever notice that most of the Psalms are Laments - cries and complaints and fears and frustrations - just turning tot he Lord with them. We can't always be happy all the time, especially those of us with deep-seeded hurts festering our souls. He knows this, and understands it. Like the prodigal son, He'll run to You if you come to Him, no matter what condition you are in!

OK?

[Guest moonrakerbritish]

Bless you, friend.

I always thought god wouldn't help me, because I wasn't cheerful enpugh or happy enpugh.

My happiness generator is shot...I have to start it myself...can't god start it for me?

My cheerfulness generator is shot...I have to start it myself...can't god start it for me? I've been asking him for years...he refuses

[nebula]

You're welcome!

And I know the feeling.

I remember in Bible school one summer, they had us sing this song called "Happiness is." I had the hardest time singing that song because, even though I was a Christian, happiness just wasn't mine.

To make a long story short, to give you what I have learned, your cheerfulness generator is shot because you have been so injured and wounded. Have you ever considered that our souls and spirits can be injured just like our bodies can? Well, they can and they do. Such sadness is the manifestation of a wounded soul/spirit.

Yes, God could heal you instantly. But God prefers to use trials and tribulations in our lives to purify them. I know that sounds strange, but the key to being purified vs being destroyed is running to the Lord and submitting yourself to His ways. Think of it this way, some scientists did an experiment. They incubated some chick eggs. As the chicks showed signs of beginning to hatch, half the chicks they let work their own way out the hard way. The other half, the scientists hatched open the eggs for the chicks. After the chicks who worked themselves out recovered from the work-out of breaking free and their feathers dried out, they got up and were strong and healthy little chicks. As for the chicks the scientists freed, after their feathers dried out, they struggled to get up (they were too weak!), struggled to move around, and eventually died.

So, think of your situation as a chick trapped in the egg of hoplessness and sadness and all that. Because you now see the mess you are in, this is as the chick being mature enough to hatch out. So, now it is time to start breaking the shell. You made the first step already. Now it's a matter of continuing in that.

From a suggestion, I started reading 1 John every day (I had come to the place where I was doubting my salvation, too). I have no idea how the words of 1 John ministered to me, because some passages in their seemed to point their fingers at me! But I was so desperate, I kept at it. And it did work! A lot of bonds were broken, and I found joy! It was the most amazing thing! My circumstances never changed, but I was able to feel happy amidst it all! Now, the work wasn't perfected; I mean, I still got pulled down and all, but I was able to find my strength in the Lord in a way I hadn't before, and every morning I'd awake feeling my joy in Jesus. I'd be singing lots of praise and worship songs.

I don't know if 1 John is the one you need to hear. Maybe you do. But maybe you need some other ones, like Ephesians or Romans 6-8. Whatever passages, chapters, or verses that are quickened to you, repeat those to yourself every day (reading or speaking or listening to a Bible CD/cassette - whatever works best for you). Let it wash over you, and it will. You may not feel anything as you do this, but after a week, maybe two or three, you might realize - "Hey! I'm not feeling as sad as I used to." Or "I'm actually believing I am saved in Jesus!"

Learning to worship the Lord amidst pain is another step. I always loved to worship, so I sang to Jesus a lot just naturally. But even still, giving thanks at all times, or worshipping Him when I felt angry at Him or guilty or during my times of deep depression was tough. The first step in that is believing it is OK to worship God when you feel like screaming at Him or hiding from Him. Doing it is the next step (and it doesn't matter if doing so is tough, so don't let that hold you back).

A third thing you can do is to go to a Christian bookstore and look through their "Counseling" section of the book racks. Over the years I've read several Christian psychology books,a nd this helps work regenration in you to. They can offer you perspectives you had not thought of or realized before, help you dig out root issues, show you how to deal with them, etc. A good one, I believe, is called Don't Let Jerks Get the Best of You by David Meier. The book covers dealing with injury done to you by the "jerky behavior" of others in your past, dealing with the "jerky behavior" of others in the present, and (a bonus) dealing with the "jerky behavior" of your own life. Since you shared being concerned about abuse ("jerky behavior") done you in the past and abuse you are dishing back out ("jerky behavior"), I believe this book will speak to your need.

I know I hit you with a lot of things, but even if you just start working with one of these, it can begin to make a difference.

God bless you!

[sagz4Christ]

Ephesians 2:8-9

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Romans 10:9-11

...if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."

Romans 8:1

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:18

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:26-28

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Then there is the quote in my signature.....

All above quotes are from the NASB

then I continue:

James 1:2-6

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

NKJV

Ok, that is all I can find for now, brother...there are a ton more, and I suggest to you that you read SLOWLY thw whole book of Romans. What an uplifting book on the assurance of our salvation! This needs to be understood. Just as important to understand is the fact that, my dear brother, you have been forgiven!! There is no need for you to continue to beat yourself up over things that happened in the past! And if they are still happening in the present, then pray for the strength and power, through the blood of Jesus, for deliverance from that bondage! He is willing and able to show you His grace in your greatest times of need! Amen!

I hope this helps. Even if it is just a little bit.

~your servant in Christ

[Guest dutchess_nyc]

I am an American from NYC. I am married, I have one child, I am 43 this Dec.10. I have lived a life-time of rough and tumble! you would think after all this time, things would be quieting down! I take care of my niece, she's just about three, also this way, I earn a little money while being able to keep my son with me, rather than have to figure out where to "put" him as a wife who works. I have a chronic disease of autoimmune origin, maybe MS, probabley Fibro-MS. I am a Christian 18 years. my husband is saved this long as well. this is my second marriage, my first husband is in prison. he is a criminal. my ex chose a lifeofcrime well after accepting the Lord himself.he is also re-married. my son is from my second marriage.

Just when I thought my life was settling into normal, my present husband and his family, over time had showned me just how fragile this human life here on earth can be!! they were just as dysfunctional as my ex's "criminal" family!! I myself came from a troubled home, I myself, along with my two brothers had dealt with drug addictions and over-doses. I myself was raised from an OD three times.after the third time I fonally "got it", never touched drugs again, lived my life forthe Lord. oh.....until now. I am so burnt-out from the emotional abuse of the passive-aggressive-hypocrtical bunch of saved/un-saved adults in my life I'm dizzy and crippled mentally!! and this is where I'm at right now!!! I'm sure God forgot me!! there isso much else too much to mention!! being of British back-round myself, making sense of the world around me is like mandatory!! my dad was in no way perfect, but very involved in our lives, taught us a great deal about God, right and wrong, etc.....spent a great deal of time with us. I know that makes a big difference in how a person can right themselves in the midst of a mess, and affect one's view of God. it can make or break one's adult standing. I was also blessed to have had good psychologists in my life, secular and Christian, I preferrred men because my mom was not the stable figure at all, and I do recognize certain gifts of men. I think women make better family counselors, but I think men, (as counselors), in their right place, are the best at leading adults. most men have the gift of "getting to the point!"

what I would ask of the men in our faith are these things, if you have the present where-with-al, please do your very best, in a spirit of excellence, please, cover and protect the women in your church, setthe proper order and exampleforthechildren in your lives, in your church, empower the women in your lives now, in the spiritual, and natural progression of the age and times we're in, help!! god HAS equipped you for this. on this way, if the women aren't following the proper lead, you have just recourse, if the women in your churches, in your lives, are "acting-out," why?

I sympathize, alas, I have no advice nor input except for all I had just blathered! I am burnt out, depressed, feeling hopeless myself. in that place where God says "WAIT!?!?" oh and woe!

[Anonymous]

Hey "moonrakerbritish"

Pray for me friends, for not only have I been a victim of verbal/emotional/mental abuse all my life, I am also an abuser.

I too have abused, I fear God will simply not save my soul. It's like, I simply have to be happy, period, and smiley, period, and self-confident and sure of who I am, or God won't help me, he'll say "no" and walk away.

Hey Bro, praying for you.... and let me say this: "Nothing is impossible for God!" He awaits you with open arms.

AP~God Is Good!

[jesusislord]

Bless you, friend.

I always thought god wouldn't help me, because I wasn't cheerful enpugh or happy enpugh.

My happiness generator is shot...I have to start it myself...can't god start it for me?

My cheerfulness generator is shot...I have to start it myself...can't god start it for me? I've been asking him for years...he refuses

MOONRAKER... PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ME AS HARSH OK. I JUST C OME AVROSS THAT WAY SOMETIMES.

FROM 2 POST THAT I HAVE READ... One thing that shows up it your fault. even though you do not know it.

you say u have been abused and the abuser.. ok THE LORD FORIVES YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR WRONGS. RIGHT.

DO YOU AGREE.....

Now.... what you seem to miss is a thing that keeps a lot of CHRISTIANS DOWN. it is self condemnation...... LACK OF SELF FORGIVENSS

I FEEL U HAVE REPENTED BUT STILL HAVE NO JOY . STUDY THIS VERY CAREFULLY

Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Rom 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

NOW THE LORD does not condemn you..... so what right so you have to condemn your self.... your sins are forgiven by he whois holy and righteous above a ll..... and so forgive yourself.

i know it is easier said than done but you need to do that.. for your joy willnot return until you forgive yourself.

one more thing try reading this everyday for amonth......

Psa 3:1 [[A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.]] LORD, how are they increased that trouble me! many [are] they that rise up against me.

Psa 3:2 Many [there be] which say of my soul, [There is] no help for him in God. Selah.

Psa 3:3 But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Psa 3:4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

Psa 3:5 I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me.

Psa 3:6 I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set [themselves] against me round about.

Psa 3:7 Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies [upon] the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly.

Psa 3:8 Salvation [belongeth] unto the LORD: thy blessing [is] upon thy people. Selah.

i ask you LORD GOD ALMIGHTY to fill this brother with joy unseakable that his joy returns more than it has ever beeb before. amen

[jesusislord]

dutchess one thing about a dysfunctional family........ just think you are in good company..... ADAMS FAMILY WAS ..... DAVIDS FAMILY WAS. . NOW I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR DISEASE...... I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT IT .

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU SISTER AMEN