Christian Dating Sites (to use or not to use)

[Nevella123]

Hi there,

Even though I am not desperately "on the hunt" for a man, I still sometimes want to be more proactive when it comes to meeting Christian guys. So, I wanted to know everyone's opinion on putting ads on Christian dating/single sites. Or even just message boards for singles. I know the general stuff like how it's still the internet, so one has to be very cautious. But what I wanted was actual real-life stories from people. Either from people who have met their soulmate online or others who maybe have had not-so-great experiences.

I also know that just because someone posts an ad or replies to one on a Christian site, doesn't mean they really are Christian. I one day want someone who is devoted to God, is involved in their church, close to their family, etc, etc.

I think I'll listen to a good friend of mine who I met here on WorthyBoards (thanks Rachel!) and just leave it up to God. But sometimes I just wonder if God thinks it's okay to use these sites, or if that's interfering with his will??

I'm doing a lot better now and not feeling like I NEED a man at the moment (I just turned 29 and have dated non-Christians up until this point. I broke up with my last boyfriend in April). But I just wanted people's opinions on Christian dating sites.

Thanks!

[LadyRaven]

Hi there,

Even though I am not desperately "on the hunt" for a man, I still sometimes want to be more proactive when it comes to meeting Christian guys. So, I wanted to know everyone's opinion on putting ads on Christian dating/single sites. Or even just message boards for singles. I know the general stuff like how it's still the internet, so one has to be very cautious. But what I wanted was actual real-life stories from people. Either from people who have met their soulmate online or others who maybe have had not-so-great experiences.

I also know that just because someone posts an ad or replies to one on a Christian site, doesn't mean they really are Christian. I one day want someone who is devoted to God, is involved in their church, close to their family, etc, etc.

I think I'll listen to a good friend of mine who I met here on WorthyBoards (thanks Rachel!) and just leave it up to God. But sometimes I just wonder if God thinks it's okay to use these sites, or if that's interfering with his will??

I'm doing a lot better now and not feeling like I NEED a man at the moment (I just turned 29 and have dated non-Christians up until this point. I broke up with my last boyfriend in April). But I just wanted people's opinions on Christian dating sites.

Thanks!

My experience with them is about the same as with non christian sites. Number one, the definition of Christian can be very loosely applied. Having a head belief is enough for many members to call themselves Christian. Also, there is a trend among believers to disregard the commandments in regards to sexual behaviour for some reason, and these guys are out there.

I have met many good Christian men with whom I'm still friends but was not a good match with, so not everyone on there is a sleeze bucket. However you kinda have to know the lingo.

For instance if a man says he is looking for an "affectionate" woman, or that he has a high need for "displays of affection" it means he wants to kanoodle before the noodle has been paid for. (Having a high sex drive is an obvious tell too, but some don't catch that).

Also, if he complains about his ex, or if he doesn't want "women with baggage" it means that if you have your own needs he ain't gonna be there.

If he's not "into playing games" it means he's ready to get married next week, even though he hasn't found a mate yet and if you're not ready as soon as he is, you're playing with his head.

Just be careful. It can be fun, but at the same time, there are alot of turkeys out there.

[Nevella123]

Wow! Thanks LadyRaven! I've actually heard some of that lingo from guys, but didn't know it could really mean something else. You've opened my eyes a lot. Blessings!

[sierra21]

HI Nevella,

I tried a few dating sites. Mostly because I just didn't have anywhere else to meet men. I tried a few different ones but eventually settled with e-harmony. This site is AMAZING. The first guy I met off there was my now-fiance and it was awesome. They have you do a bunch of personality quizzes and set you up with someone that you are most compatible. They take into account your religious and moral values. I really recommend that you try this site. If anything the compatibility profile that they give you is insightful in your search for the right guy. God Bless!

Sierra

[KeilanS]

While I am both not a female and one who has never tried a dating site, I do have a few opinions on them. First of all, there is a bigger chance that you'll end up with a lowlife on them. Sure there are some nice Christians on them, but hang out at Church, participate in a youth group (as a leader maybe), just get involved in the Christian community and you will meet those perfect men when God wants you to. The people who go to internet dating sites could easily be lying about their faith, or who they are. I just find them to be rather risky.

[KeilanS]

Sorry, double post... edited out this one.

Edited August 2, 2006 by KeilanS

[LadyRaven]

HI Nevella,

I tried a few dating sites. Mostly because I just didn't have anywhere else to meet men. I tried a few different ones but eventually settled with e-harmony. This site is AMAZING. The first guy I met off there was my now-fiance and it was awesome. They have you do a bunch of personality quizzes and set you up with someone that you are most compatible. They take into account your religious and moral values. I really recommend that you try this site. If anything the compatibility profile that they give you is insightful in your search for the right guy. God Bless!

Sierra

I know of two men who ended up having their fee refunded because eharmony could not find anyone for them. I did the trial and had like 6 or 7 supposed matches, but when I looked we may have been compatible personality wise, (if their theory is true) we were never compatible theologically or philosophically, which to me is just as important. Sooo, I never paid the fee to get started.

[LadyRaven]

While I am both not a female and one who has never tried a dating site, I do have a few opinions on them. First of all, there is a bigger chance that you'll end up with a lowlife on them. Sure there are some nice Christians on them, but hang out at Church, participate in a youth group (as a leader maybe), just get involved in the Christian community and you will meet those perfect men when God wants you to. The people who go to internet dating sites could easily be lying about their faith, or who they are. I just find them to be rather risky.

I have had experiences which were disasterous from these sites, which is why I never let a guy pick me up until I know them very well...and we tend to do things like go to the mall and then have dinner and movie and then leave separately, always public so I can cut and run if I want.

I have also met two really good friends and one ex fiance on the internet.

I guess it really depends how you look at it. the person sitting across from you at church could be a creep too. If we get too hung up on finding someone we will find someone and it probably will be...someone you dn't want. If we just allow God to make things happen and don't get all worked up when someone contacts us...well...

[tah]

I have only known 2 people who have gone to Christian sites for friendships...

Both met and married after a few months of meeting that special person for them..

Both are very happy...

Sometimes it works out well...

[sierra21]

I think eventually internet dating is going to become "normal". I think it's a whole new way to meet people, and just because you aren't talking to them face to face doesnt mean a thing. Yes, it allows a new level of anonymity, but YOU HAVE NO IDEA who your neighbour REALLY is, or what your new friend at church REALLY DOES on their spare time. Life is unpredictable and risky...I guess you can make the choice to stay away from internet dating sites...but it may work for others so why bash it?