Teenager trying to live right.

[Deepblue]

Hi I'm a 17 Year old male from South Carolina. I've been lurking and browsing through the Worthy forums for about 2-3 weeks now. I decided to go ahead and sign up as a member. I've always been a believer in God and Jesus Christ and have been trying to improve my relationship with the Lord. I just have a hard time dealing with everyday life though. Almost everyone in my school says tasteless jokes that deal with suicide, rape, murder, getting drunk, and all that stuff. These are the same people I used to hang out with. I still find myself standing outside with them during lunch, tolerating all of the non sense. I've sorta turned into a flower on the wall as far as being part of that group. If you know what I mean. My best friend is a great Christian however, but during school he has to go to classes that are 22 miles away from our school because our school does not provide those classes. So, I don't get to talk to him until 3:00 PM, and when I finally talk to him I'm usually feeling a little down because I spent the rest of my day with my mouth shut. What am I asking here? *Sigh*...I guess I want to figure out how to socialize with others and have the courage to do so, or if I don't need to speak to anyone how do I find a way to feel comfortable? Because I'm constantly worried about what people are saying about me.

My family does a lot of arguing too. They do it by calling the lord's name in vain, cursing each other out. It's really bad with my mom and little sister. This morning my mom was yelling and cursing trying to get my sister to school, and my sister struck back by calling her a mother...you know what. I talked to a councilor and he said that arguments like this are very normal, but if it's an everyday thing it can become very stressful on everyone.

My little sister is someone that I am also concerned about. She's always expressing that she is depressed, hates herself, and sometimes saying she wish she was dead because she has no friends...and she's only 12 years old.

I'm sorry if my post sounds like a bunch of jumbled up confusion. That's the thing though. I'm confused and I'm trying to find a way to make this sound as simple as I can. I also want to know how I can help my family out. Just say that I want to be able to live for God without letting all these distractions get in the way. For the last year I've been saying "Maybe I should go to church, and things will get better." I kept turning down offers to go to Church, and it seems like everytime I say I'm going this Sunday or Wednesday, when the time comes, I change my mind, and feel bad about it later.

Any advice you can give me?

[mrs]

Hi falls, welcome to worthy. I highly recommend you check out worthy chat > just click on the 'Live Chat' link on the upper righthand. There're lots of ppl there who can encourage you and listen.

Also once forum people find your thread you should get some good advice.

May I suggest that you make attending church an important part of your life.And I dont mean just going and sitting in a pew and leaving again either. I mean going and talking to people,building friendships,volunteering, and becoming a part of the church family. If you have a good church there, it is a vital part of your growth as a Christian.

It is hard to live as a Christian when everyone at school lives so differently. But it is possible - with God's strength.If you read your Bible and pray throughout your day He will give you the strength to have a bold witness.You may even find that others trust you and come to you for advice.

Don't worry too much about what others are thinking.If you are obeying God and living Christlike, don't allow peer pressure to affect that.

I hope to see you in chat!

[EricH]

Welcome to Worthy. Being a teen is a dfficult thing. I am going to move your post from the Welcome Forum, to Looking for advise. It will get better and more attention there

[Kabowd]

The first thing I would encourage you to do is build your relationship with your sister, she needs you. If you've heard her express these things openly, then there's probably deeper things that she doesn't even tell anyone that are bothering her too. I have an older brother and I can tell you that his guidance has been invaluable to me. Yes, sometimes it's frustrating and annoying because it can seem like he is over-bearing and over-protective...but at the same time, I don't know where I'd be without him. God put you in her life for a reason and He has made you aware of some of her struggles. This is just the part that jumped out at me so I thought I'd encourage you in this area. I don't know what the rest of your family is like, or if you have a dad present or not. If you don't have a dad around, then your sister probably needs you to be that father-type figure even more. Again, I'm speaking from experience. She may not like it, and may flat out reject it initially (especially if you don't have a good relationship with her). But I would strongly encourage you to build on that so that there is a foundation there. She is approaching what will likely be the most difficult years of her life. She'll be faced with alot of temptation, decisions and people pulling her in many directions. If she doesn't have someone there guiding her that she can trust, it could really affect her future (and yours too).

As far as your friends at school, I'd encourage you to try to build confidence to take a stand there too. Surround yourself with people who are like-minded and it won't be quite so hard. Is your mom a Christian? Do your friends go to church somewhere regularly? I'll be praying for you. It's true that all families have problems and stress, but that doesn't mean what you're experiencing is healthy. If the situation you described had happened in my house, my brother would've immediately scolded me for responding that way to authority and made me apologize. I think if you start working on your relationships within your home you will begin to see a significant difference in the atmosphere of the entire household. When your sister talks about wanting to die, what do you say? If you see her crying, what do you do? When she has a bad attitude, do you ignore it? These are things I'm curious about. Sometimes I think we get so caught up with our friends and ourselves that we forget that God gave us a family that we need to nurture relationships with first. Hope this helps.

[mrs]

Sometimes I think we get so caught up with our friends and ourselves that we forget that God gave us a family that we need to nurture relationships with first. Hope this helps.

You're 100% right.

[Candi770]

It's so nice and refreshing to see when the Lord is moving on behalf of a teen. That is so awesome. Your older brother must really love you and he cares deeply-take it from one who lost one of my older brothers-who I will see in heaven again and I miss him tremendously. Love him and your sis as long as you have them. You can actually help little sis-giving her encouragement and time-she needs your validation too, she needs to know she is important to someone other than mom and dad. Let God lead you to who you should be friends with. I look back when I was trying to fit in, and never could fit into the "good group" (prior to being saved), so of course, the bad crowd welcomed me with open arms. My mom, saw that I was going further down into sinful living, so she took me from a public school to private. The private school, was full of stuck up snobs, I found a friend whose father was a pastor. She needed a friend and I needed one too, I took up for her when they made fun of her and after I came to Jesus, we talked about Jesus all the time. My mom could no longer afford to send me there so, I went to the Local High School, I wasn't the same anylonger, I took on the attitude, if you want to be my friend, fine, if I'm not good enough for you then fine- I went on to work when school was over and then to Tae Know Do, so I was pretty busy, although, I didn't have much friends. I'm glad looking back, I think if either group would have really accepted me, I may not of felt the need for Jesus. I still had struggles and battles, but I have Jesus and that is what has made the difference. I'm learning to be content, when I have close friendships and when the season is over and I don't.

Nothing is wrong with being focused on school work to 3:00pm.

Just pray for Mom and sis, Mom must be really stressed out, give her a hug when she doesn't expect it. Help her get sis out the door, or help around the house to pick up the slack. I know those things help me as a Mom.

well blessings on your journey, don't give up!!

candi770

[Leonard]

Find yourself a church that's on fire, and sets your spirit ablaze! Then blaze forth wherever you are!

[darski]

I feel like I should firstly tell you "Smile, God wants your picture for his Fridge!" I really do mean that - God wants you to know how much He loves you and what you are trying to do to become Christ-like.

It is not easy to find our ways today. You have many mission fields around you which means you have a greater opportunity to spread the light. it also means that you are called to a narrower path and you need comfort and guidance for that. I would encourage you to find that church that God has been preparing to receive you and make use of everything they offer.

For your Mom and your Sis, I would encourage you to spend time reading Proverbs and talking to God in prayer. God will be so pleased to hear the prayers of the young for his elders. I am well acquainted with a young woman who led her whole family to Christ when she was 14 yrs old and you can be a planter and waterer for your family.

Your little sister can be brought back from this abyss that she is considering - if she is talking it; she is thinking and maybe even planning it. The littlest notice you pay to her can have great rewards - put the time into her. go to the library together or find teh local sites that are free to visit. Something pink and fluffy from the dollar store can be worth a million to a little sister who feels valued. (sorry - it's a girl/old lady joke)

Try to catch your mom and sis doing something right and compliment them on that.

If there is no Christian fellowship group at your school, start one. There are a million causes that need the energy and ideas of young people and a group can sign up and get going with something to benefit others. Do you do "See you at the pole"? That would identify the Christians for you.

Talk to God. He has the perfect plan already and is just waiting for you to ask.

I will keep you on my prayer list. and don't forget... Smile, God needs your picture for His Fridge!

[Deepblue]

Come to think of it I really don't think I have done enough to help my sister's confidence. I guess I just never knew how to do it. There has been no father figure in our lives, my parents got divorced back in 1993. My dad was the abusive type, and is a drug addict and alcoholic as of today. Thoughts such as "How can I help someone become more confident when I never have been much of a confident person myself" often pop into my head. My mom and sister are arguing as I type. My sister is cursing her out...I tried to intervene and tell my sister she should not be cursing out her own mother, then all of a sudden my mom interupts me and says in an angry, explosive voice "You need some sort of psychological help GAL!" It's this sort of bickering that happens everyday and it seems to get worse everyday. My relationship with my sister is somewhat decent I think. It's the relationship between my mom and sister that worries me. I will do my best however to help them out, but when I try to say one thing or another they'll use what I have to say against each other.

The guys that I mentioned in my first post really aren't my good friends as much as they are well known acquantices. I would like to start speaking to them more, but it's hard to find a topic of conversation or hard to find something to say to them when all they ever talk about anymore is getting drunk.

There's another thing that is bothering me too. I posted on this one forum up until a few days ago. On that forum people would make topics that would be about advice on "good" illegal drugs, sex, rape, homosexuality, etc...I really never posted in these types of threads. The forum was mainly a video game forum. Anyways, I decided I was going to quit the forum and get away from there by telling the people what I thought of them. To sum it up I told them that they were filthy people who should be ashamed of themselves. These people may make bad choices or use vulgar language, but now I feel bad about saying what I said to them. I built up a good reputation there, and in one post it all went away. I realized that what I did was not very Christian like at all. I decided I was going to be good, and being around bad people like that would not help me. Now I feel foolish. What should I do about that situation?

Thanks for all your advice and prayers you have already given me.

Edited November 3, 2006 by Great Falls

[followerofjesus]

its very good to see you standing your ground for what is right. You will be rewarded for this. Alot of us live in the same circumstance as you sometimes feeling alone but reading what you wrote shows we are not alone.