What is wrong with me?

[InternalFlame]

There's nothing wrong with you...you're just like every other girl on the planet. Most of us have doubts about the way we look at one time or another, even the people you see as skinny and pretty! The funny thing is, is that I bet there are some girls who look at you and think the same things that you think when you look at those "skinny pretty" people.

The thing is, we aren't perfect, nor will we ever be. But that's just human. My boyfriend says he loves me because I'm perfect, but that I'm perfect because of my flaws. Things you see as flaws are just a part of who you are. I used to think I was the ugliest thing that walked the earth. I was teased and rejected throughout my life, but so many people recently have said that I was beautiful, and not just because of what was outside, but because of what was inside. I didn't want to beleive it either, but they all insisted. The inside is the most important, for example, you have a beautiful smile . A smile really shows the inner person, I think.

My boyfriend would always seem to think he's ugly, and that I was out of his league, that I deserved better when he didn't realize that in my eyes he was the most handsome, wonderful guy I could have ever choosen; and I tell him as much all the time! I bet that guy who likes you may think the same! I don't think he sees what you consider as your flaws, he just sees you for who you are, and likes that.

On an ending note, celebrities don't count, because most of it is airbrushing anyway watch this for an example: http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat4.asp?id=6909

It's really scary how much we distort true beauty.

In any case, if it really still bugs you, I often feel better about myself if I carve out some time to do some exercise each day, or instead of having chips for a snack, I have some cucumbers flavored with lemon pepper. Little things like that can make you feel better, you don't need to do anything drastic like go on a big diet or whatever...not to mention if you do work out you really feel like you earned that chocolate bar at the end of the day

[stitchy]

Thankyou everyone who replied to this. I am still struggling just as much as when I posted the topic, but I realise this is not something that can be fixed at the snap of my fingers. It will take lots of prayer and determination.

I've decided, as a way to feel better about myself, that I'll eat better (not limit myself excessively - I've been down the anorexia road before) and to get out and go for a long walk every day. Walking always makes me feel good and I really really enjoy it.

Hopefully I can keep feeling good about myself as time goes on. God bless you all.

[Guest lnj]

My self image issues are getting to me again. I feel so self conscious around other people, and I'm starting to feel like people who are thinner than me are better than I am. It's gotten to the point where I'm feeling guilty about eating again, unless it's something really good like vegetables or a piece of fruit or some yoghurt. Whenever I'm around others I'm uncomfortable because of how I look, which is stupid because I know they're not standing there thinking "This girl is so hideous, look at her, she needs to lose some weight". In fact I'm probably the only one thinking that about myself.

But why? Why have I never been able to be fully okay with the way I am and how I look? It's such a terrible trap for me to be in. Am I too vain to be okay with how God made me? Am I so conceited that I HAVE to look 'perfect' to be happy? I mean I see other girls who are bigger than me, and I still feel like they're gorgeous and I'm disgusting. Why?

What's worse is though I want so badly to be liked, if a person does like me I don't seem to accept it. Recently I learned from a friend that he's liked me for a while, and that's been playing on my mind a LOT lately because I keep thinking "Why? Why would someone like him like me? He's so cool and nice and I'm so unattractive". Despite the fact that he has stated clearly his feelings, I keep denying it in my head, or I think "He should like someone better, look at all the other girls out there he could want".

What is wrong with me?

Try and get a copy of the book called "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge , eventhough I don't agree with every single thing it has in it, it does talk about self image and how satan attacks us through self image, therefore creating a dominoe effect in many areas of our lives as women. It may help. Also, I've been petite all my life and if you think men come running...that's a myth. It is about who you are as a person. That inner beauty that lights up and swamps everything else.

[Adarian]

Lord God Most High, close the door upon these thoughts of stitchy's that are not true concerning her appearance, and flood her heart with knowledge of Your love and the work of Your righteous and holy hand. Give her peace and a focus on you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

[stitchy]

Thankyou so much.

I'll definitely try to find that book, lnj. Also it's not really about me getting men to come running. I find that I'm a lot more critical of myself than others are. Others seem to see this beautiful girl, but though I try hard to find her, I rarely ever see her in the mirror.

I will keep praying.

[followerofjesus]

This is a phenomena that plagues almost every female I know. Its in the makeup. Fortunately most men don't have this problem but similar ones. Men are expected to perform at a high level & not considered a "real man" if they don't. The bottom line is we shouldn't put much weight into how others percieve us because in the end mans image means nothing. 'What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?'

'Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. '

[Guest lnj]

Thankyou so much.

I'll definitely try to find that book, lnj. Also it's not really about me getting men to come running. I find that I'm a lot more critical of myself than others are. Others seem to see this beautiful girl, but though I try hard to find her, I rarely ever see her in the mirror.

I will keep praying.

I'll be praying stichy! We women have so much on our plate, it can be overwhelming. The mirror lies, but God looks at the heart stichy, remember that. Also He MADE you, be proud of His workmanship....YOU!