Eliyahuw Posted September 12, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,263 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/11/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/17/1961 Share Posted September 12, 2007 One thing that I've never had in a relationship before which I have with her, Some of our main struggles, instead of fighting about them, We both pray about them and ask God for advice, and try our best to come to a mutual agreement, Ok josh i hear ya! It helps. But do yourself a favor. Go get yourself a book called The five love languages and learn each others love language. Sometimes people have multiple love languages. ANyway, this book is by far one of the best i have found and I use it myself when I date. It makes it much easier to relate with someone if you know what makes them feel loved. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ I'll have to check that book out, I don't have a credit card, do you know of any book stores that carry it? YOu can probably get it at any borders bookstore, or whatever big chain bookstore there is. you might even get it from the library, or if worse comes to worse, ask your pastor if he has a copy or if the church can buy one for you to use and they can use it to float around the church. I'll tell ya its very good book the website gives you a idea on what its all about and even a test you can take to tell your languages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua-777 Posted September 12, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 410 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,102 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 522 Days Won: 6 Joined: 10/19/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/07/1984 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 I add by two-cents by telling you the same thing I told my nephew before he got married: give it 100%. Period. Whether your wife gives it 100% or does nothing but sit on couch, watch soap operas, and eat bon-bons, that's between her and God. You just do your part, love your wife, and love God more. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua-777 Posted September 12, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 410 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 3,102 Content Per Day: 0.48 Reputation: 522 Days Won: 6 Joined: 10/19/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/07/1984 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 One thing that I've never had in a relationship before which I have with her, Some of our main struggles, instead of fighting about them, We both pray about them and ask God for advice, and try our best to come to a mutual agreement, Ok josh i hear ya! It helps. But do yourself a favor. Go get yourself a book called The five love languages and learn each others love language. Sometimes people have multiple love languages. ANyway, this book is by far one of the best i have found and I use it myself when I date. It makes it much easier to relate with someone if you know what makes them feel loved. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ I'll have to check that book out, I don't have a credit card, do you know of any book stores that carry it? YOu can probably get it at any borders bookstore, or whatever big chain bookstore there is. you might even get it from the library, or if worse comes to worse, ask your pastor if he has a copy or if the church can buy one for you to use and they can use it to float around the church. I'll tell ya its very good book the website gives you a idea on what its all about and even a test you can take to tell your languages. Ok cool I think we have a borders bookstore, and a few Christian bookstores that may have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeCajunboy Posted September 12, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 113 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,430 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 33 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/24/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/28/1952 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Hello, those of you that know me, I Just got married on 7/7/07, I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to have a strong Christian marriage, And a successful marriage. Thanks and God bless. Congratulations Josh and wife! 1: Keep God in every step of your life. 2: Communicate happiness and sadness as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vicki-aka-bebe Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 239 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/13/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted September 13, 2007 hi Josh i first wanted to thank you for the prayers. now i have been married 32 years now and raised two kids. and i will tell you straight up that it isnt easy ..... takes alot of hard work and i do believe that we must put God first, now that is the first rigth step but doesnt insure that all will be ok as i said you must work on a marrage .. for me it is comunacation with each other .. growing together .. there will be many goood times but many bad times but we must work through the bad and hold each other up in those times.. you will find at times you feel stuck in a rut and to me you must get your self out of that... there is so much that could be said but each marrage is different ... but again i will just say keep God in the marrage, spend time together but allow each to have there own space. comunnicate most everything. try and find the way that works for the two of u and use what you learn. dont let divorce become an opption. to me if it isnt you work harder to keep what you have. Happy for you Josh may God bless you and your wife and marrage and keep you. there is so much to a marrage and it is a daily walk just like with God .. you will learn and grow together. take care and love ya sister vicki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forrestkc Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 114 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4,015 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 8 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/15/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 13, 2007 Marriage is work. Don't get overly stretched financially, that probably breaks more marriages than just about anything else. You always have to remember that things do not make you happy. Don't put a TV in your bedroom. Remember that fighting is a habit. Make it a cooperative relationship rather than one where one or the other of you dictate the rules or make the big decisions. Be nice to each other. Never sleep apart after a fight. Do not consider divorce to be an option (never, ever, threaten it in the heat of anger). Always remember that men and women think and arrive at decisions a lot differently. Women tend to talk things out, men tend to go off, think about something, then come back with a decision. Pick your battles (don't try to get your way with everything). Find things you enjoy doing together, but always keep some hobbies that you like doing yourself too. Make sure you are both together on what you consider to be life goals (For example, if you want 2 kids and she wants 5, you need to compromise some how.) Be patient, plan things out, don't just throw caution to the wind. Thats what I can think just off the top of my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fraught Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,741 Content Per Day: 0.28 Reputation: 28 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/23/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/30/1959 Share Posted September 13, 2007 looks like all good advice. i also got something from that website and book about the 'love languages' - it's very enlightening, also something called the love bank. this will cover a lot of mess-ups. if you mess up and she gets upset for some reason, you have made a withdrawal from the love bank. fortunately, there are many ways to also make a deposit into the love bank. from a woman's point of view, when the love bank is carrying a strong balance, it can cover some surprising withdrawals. from my 29 years of marriage experience, commitment covered all. if separation is never a possibility, then you will find ways to fix just about anything! p.s.: an ongoing joke in my church - whenever a big anniversary is announced and the husband is asked the secret of a long and happy marriage, he always answers: always say, "yes honey, you're right" !!! but seriously, not having to be right is a big plus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smalcald Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5,258 Content Per Day: 0.76 Reputation: 42 Days Won: 3 Joined: 06/16/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/22/1960 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Hi Josh, Love her no matter what. I know that sounds contrite and stupid, but just do your part and remember that God is part of this and you. You and your wife are now one. The venting is true; I wish someone had told me about that 20 years ago. My wife vents and I always think she wants me to solve these things, when all she wants is someone to listen to her vent. I read your testimony I don't think God would have brought you to where you are now to lead you to a bad marriage, so have faith in your marriage as well as in God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forrestkc Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 114 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 4,015 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 8 Days Won: 1 Joined: 12/15/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 13, 2007 I just thought of one other piece of advice. If you ever do fight, and you will..everyone does, keep it between yourselves. Don't go out and tell your friends and family about it. The reason being is that after a little while you are going to get over it, and your going to make up, and you will put it behind you. However, your friends and family over time might start holding those things against you or your spouse, and thats a bad thing. Just always remember, if you are mad at your wife, or she is mad at you, that is between the two of you, and you should never bring anyone else into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted September 13, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted September 13, 2007 I just thought of one other piece of advice. If you ever do fight, and you will..everyone does, keep it between yourselves. Don't go out and tell your friends and family about it. The reason being is that after a little while you are going to get over it, and your going to make up, and you will put it behind you. However, your friends and family over time might start holding those things against you or your spouse, and thats a bad thing. Just always remember, if you are mad at your wife, or she is mad at you, that is between the two of you, and you should never bring anyone else into it. forrest, that is one of the BEST pieces of advice ever. You get over it, but your Mom/Dad or other family/friends remember every thing you say............after awhile it builds up and causes friction and hard feelings! Good job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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