Church

[Miss Pryzma]

Hi,

Ok well My Boyfriend (who's not a Christian) is coming out from Ireland for 3 weeks (staying at my house), and I was talking to him today and we were talking about church and stuff. He knows I am a Christian and go to Church and do other 'church' related things during the week.

He went to church with me once in Ireland, but he walked in and walked out (he says he didn't feel comfortable it was too small) - But the thing is considering I do stuff with the church, when he comes out I don't want to give it up (I know it might sound bad - but I don't want to stop going to church on Sunday because He's out, and might not like it) He said he would try it, but he doesn't know if he'll stay.

So it's a bit of a hard situation, and I don't know what to do?! For one thing I don't want to pressure him into going to it - we all have a free will right? .. But in a way it would be good for him. And not to mention there is hardly anything to do where this church is located (about 30 mins from where I live and out in the country - sorta). As well as I go with my family, and every 2nd Sunday we do stuff with the young adults after church so it could end up as a day thing - so it wouldn't be nice for him to be left, ya know? - Just because he doesn't like 'church' - would it be wrong to give it up while he is here or would that be compromising?

So any suggestions on how to handle this situation?

BTW.... Sorry if that was all mixed up .. I have all these questions, and it's hard to get them out in a way people can understand.

[Catsmeow]

I'm not sure how old you are...I know you post over on Chat..I think we've talked before..

But Pryz...do you live alone? I mean, if boyfriend is staying with you is he staying at your house alone? Or are there parents or family there to chaperone?

It's not a safe idea to have a boyfriend staying alone in your house...that can invite trouble bigtime.

Maybe a hotel would be better...if he can afford a flight from Ireland, he can afford a hotel...

Just as a safety precaution.

[Guest hummingbird]

Hi Pryzma.

First things first, Always remember God has you answer! All you need do is ask...

I'm not sure how long you have been seeing this young man, or how serious your relationship is. But, if it is serious or getting serious...

May I tell you that when we are young (and I assume you are) most of us make the disastrous mistake of thinking that we can eventually "change" the person we fall in love with. That we can somehow make this person see the "light" so to speak, and the error of their ways!

Not, so, Pryz! At the same time we are thinking such thoughts, they also are thinking the same things about us (that they can change us eventually)! Take it from someone who has seen it happen time and time again!

You must accept each other for the way you are "right now". You must not think this person will change just because they love you or you love them. You must not try to change each other. If you cannot accept each other's likes and dislikes now, or if you cannot agree with each other now, just think what it would be like if you should (sometime in the future) fall in love and marry this young man.

If this young man really cares about you, he will care about the things you like and dislike as well. Just as you are concerned with what will make him happy (and you are, or you wouldn't be posting) he must be equally concerned with what makes you happy. Anything less and your relationship won't work.

If going to your church makes you happy, then he "should" be all for it, if for no other reason but to make you happy.

You mentioned that it might help him...it most certainly couldn't hurt him! Especially if you and your family are getting so much out of going there. I would even go so far as to say, that if he continues to flatly refuse to go, something is very wrong. And you must use a lot of caution!

If it is church he's against--RUN from him as fast as you can. If it is just that particular church perhaps you could let him suggest another church? If this young man is simply trying to avoid God for some unknown reason--pray for him that God will draw him unto Himself. In the meantime, Ask him point blank, is he a Christian?, does he believe in God?, does he know Jesus?

Take it from the voice of experience, if he does not believe in God--if he doesn't have a Christian perspective, I would think long and hard about dating him any longer. Find yourself someone who DOES believe! The Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers:

2 Corinthians 6:14

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

All too often, relationships end up with one person doing all the giving and one doing all the taking. This does not make for a good relationship! Maybe this is the testing ground, yours and his. Before you get too involved with this young man (assuming you aren't already), Ask God what to do He will lead you!

If he is so against your going to church now, just think what it would be like to be married to him?!

God Bless you Pryzma! I will be praying that God will intervene in your situation! :il:

Judy

[Guest ellisjm]

Excellent advice hummingbird ... where were you before I married LOL

[Guest hummingbird]

ellisjm:

LOL! Same place I was before I got married, out in left field I guess..LOL! LOL! Voice of experience speaking...LOL! :alien:

[Miss Pryzma]

Thanks for the advice so far guys.

To answer some of your questions... I'll be 20 in a month and yea I'm staying at my parents place for now (just got back from Europe).. So it's not like I have my own place and he'll be staying there or anything.

In April when he comes out we would have been going out for six months.

And I agree with you hummingbird, with the whole thing about that if one cares about you then one would care about the things you like and dislike. - Should I tell him that?

He's not against me going to church. HE just is not too interested in the whole thing.

He's not against a particular church, I just don't think he likes many - He's been brought up in a catholic environment, but his family does not practice u know .. They just do the main things like Christenings and stuff like that when 'need be'. So He might have a weird idea of it all. When I first met him he had never even heard of a 'Christian'!

He does know abit about Jesus and stuff, cause they are taught that in school there. But when we talked about it, he didn't know too much about it, and I started explaining it to him, but he said he would prefer it if I told him when's he's out here and not over the phone. I also suggested to him that I send him a Bible but he said 'No - please don

[Catsmeow]

I was raised Catholic, so I understand his position.

Once he sees how your church is, (if it's friendly and people are kind) he'll probably love it.

Give him a chance to see...and I imagine he'll probably fall even more in love when he sees what a godly young woman he's found.

Hang in there, Sister...you sound like you're wise beyond your years, honey.

[Adstar]

Hello Pryzma :il:

He does know abit about Jesus and stuff, cause they are taught that in school there. But when we talked about it, he didn't know too much about it, and I started explaining it to him, but he said he would prefer it if I told him when's he's out here and not over the phone. I also suggested to him that I send him a Bible but he said 'No - please don

[Guest LCPGUY]

Hey hummingbird...

you're new here. WELCOME :hug:

You are a lady with great insight and wisdom. I hope you stick around.

In His Love... :il:

John

[ginakay]

I heard Max Lucado talking about this very subject today. I liked his explanation. He said a relationsip or marriage is like a road trip. You might disagree on what sorts of music you are going to listen to on the way, what the temperature should be inside the car, how often you will stop for breaks but the one thing you must agree on is your destination. Otherwise you will be pulled apart either physically or spiritually or both. His wise and Biblically sound advise was not to join with someone who does not have the same destination in view.