grace222 Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted December 3, 2007 (edited) My husband and I have not been blessed with children so I am pretty much out-of-touch with everything that concerns children. I saw my 12 year old neice recently. She is quite tall for her age - approximately 5ft8. She wears make-up - eye shadow, lipstick, nail polish and has her eyebrows waxed. She looks about 18 years of age. As an auntie, I feel as though I don't have much of a say but am concerned. Her mother, my Sister-in-law is a christian(but not practicing) but she attends a good Catholic school in the area. She also wears tiny shorts and I notice that a lot of men look at her(mainly relatives) As a five year old child, she was sexually abused by her half-brother who was 12 at the time. I'm not sure what impact this has had upon her but I know she is very concious of her appearance. Apart from that, she is a well-spoken child, polite and intelligent Should I be concerned, or is it a case of, well,she's just growing up and that's what young girls do now? Just wanted to add - how times have changed! I'm 41 but lived at home with my folks when I was 22 years of age and my father didn't approve of me wearing make-up. I began wearing make-up at age 21 when I started going to work! When I was 12, I was happy to have clear skin and would have felt sickened if a boy ever looked at me! Maybe it's me!! Edited December 3, 2007 by grace222 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetycakes Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 162 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,884 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 2,130 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2005 Status: Online Birthday: 03/23/1964 Share Posted December 3, 2007 My husband and I have not been blessed with children so I am pretty much out-of-touch with everything that concerns children. I saw my 12 year old neice recently. She is quite tall for her age - approximately 5ft8. She wears make-up - eye shadow, lipstick, nail polish and has her eyebrows waxed. She looks about 18 years of age. As an auntie, I feel as though I don't have much of a say but am concerned. Her mother, my Sister-in-law is a christian(but not practicing) but she attends a good Catholic school in the area. She also wears tiny shorts and I notice that a lot of men look at her(mainly relatives) As a five year old child, she was sexually abused by her half-brother who was 12 at the time. I'm not sure what impact this has had upon her but I know she is very concious of her appearance. Apart from that, she is a well-spoken child, polite and intelligent Should I be concerned, or is it a case of, well,she's just growing up and that's what young girls do now? From a totally outside perspective, I would say that the first thing to realize is that, as you say, you don't have much say in the matter......so the best thing that you could do is pray regularly for her. I don't think it's necessarily wrong or bad for pre-teen girls to wear make up and 'dress up'....as long as they are not, say, about 7 or 8 years of age. It's just a part of growing up. Girls...at least within my living memory......have always tended to try on their mother's shoes, put on a bit of their mother's make-up, etc........just like boys play with toy guns from a young age. There is one aspect of what you said though, that would cause me some concern. The fact that you said she was abused. I think that this probably could have instilled in her the thought that maybe the only way to get attention would be to exhibit her sexuality. Especially since it is the trend these days to pressure young girls to 'grow up' sexually and wear ever more revealing clothing......mainly the fault of the media, as well as peer-pressure, and also the fact that kids are more assertive these days. Still, there's not much that you can do about it, except talk to her, and pray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terter Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 473 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted December 3, 2007 I'm so thankful I didn't have daughters - impo - girls shouldn't wear makeup until they are teenagers but I'm not responsible for those decisions. Why people allow it - I don't understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Biblicist Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 If it really bother's you that much I'd suggest going to her mother, or her father since he is your brother, about it. Coming in here, while good for advise, is not the Biblical way to handle it. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother." While it may not be a "sin" persay to allow your daughter to wear revealing clothes and makeup at such a young tender age [i believe it is Matthew 18:6] The point of this passage is the process of correction. First go to the person in private...if they won't listen then take two or more others and then if there is still no repentance go to the congregation. From what you told us about the fact that she was abused, especially if they made a big deal about it, makes this serious and something needs to be said before she does something she will regret. This girl might need counseling for her feelings about what happened to her. Since she was old enough to remember it's going to weigh heavily on her for the rest of her life. Biblical Counseling is the best choice for her. www.nanc.org I highly recommend counselors from the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors. You can find one in your area at their website, and learn more about them. Yes, I'd suggest going to her mother and having a real heart to heart about it. Forget anything else and concentrate on this little girls future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted December 3, 2007 My 12 year old great niece came up with her folks for Thanksgiving, she had enough make-up on for 3 people, and she looks 12.................but, like you, there isn't anything I can do about it. I tried to tell her how much prettier she would be without all of that junk on her face and she smiled and rolled her eyes at me, no sense talking to her Mom since she's the one that buys if for her................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetycakes Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 162 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,884 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 2,130 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2005 Status: Online Birthday: 03/23/1964 Share Posted December 3, 2007 My 12 year old great niece came up with her folks for Thanksgiving, she had enough make-up on for 3 people I agree. Some young people look like they've put on their make-up using a Paintball gun.......or a trowel Personally, I prefer to see females without all the cosmetic, powdery junk on their faces, even if they are 'spotty' or 'plain'. But, then, I am a guy, and I don't see the point of all these advertisements for make-up, etc. Especially kids......I prefer to see them in their wide-eyed, innocent youth. But kids grow up so fast, and they have their own perception of what is 'beautiful'.....a view usually tainted by the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HIS girl Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Men usually do like the natural look. The old saying is, "women dress for other women", makeup etc and I do agree somewhat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetycakes Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 162 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,884 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 2,130 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2005 Status: Online Birthday: 03/23/1964 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Men usually do like the natural look. The old saying is, "women dress for other women", makeup etc and I do agree somewhat. You know something......I think that's what it is! Never really thought about it before. But although women 'mill around' each other, and ask advice on make-up and dresses, etc.......yet there is also a kind of rivalry between them.....to outclass, or out-do, each other. ....Things that most men pay no attention to, in my opinion. Just a thought, ladies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarletprayers Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 135 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,537 Content Per Day: 1.08 Reputation: 157 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/06/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/29/1956 Share Posted December 3, 2007 It makes me so sad, Brianna is a wide eyed, freshed face 12 year old..........but with all that make-up...........well, not so much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetycakes Posted December 3, 2007 Group: Royal Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 162 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,884 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 2,130 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/21/2005 Status: Online Birthday: 03/23/1964 Share Posted December 3, 2007 Kids should be kids........yet they want to grow up so fast. One thing that has always puzzled me about women in general: When they are young, they want to look old, And when they are old, they want to look young. Enlightenment, anyone? :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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