Blessed but hurting

[Gift of Grace]

First of all I want to say that the Lord has blessed me. Not only has he died to save me from my sins and the death that goes with those sins, but He has blessed me financially, and health wise. Not in any big way but I am at peace and secure. My hurting comes from the fact that He always puts me in situations that I am rejected and that hurts. First of all I can not have children. The Lord has been merciful and never let this hurt me mentally. But I get so tired of always having it brought up and explaining and trying to make others feel comfortable about it. If people would just let it be I'd be ok. Then there is my job. People here are mean and judgemental. If you make a mistake here you are called stupid and that is just the beginning. I get so tired of hearing rude things. At first I thought that the Lord was helping me to learn to love difficult people but I get tired of being crushed. I have talked to the Lord about leaving my job. Three times I have had the message that he wanted me to stay here. I felt the Lord wanted me to talk to my church about my card ministry, which I did. They rejected the idea. At first I thought that I did not explain it very well so I tried again. I was rejected again. Even a simple idea in my marriage, like let's do this or that...REJECTED. I know that God does not reject me. But why does he want me to suffer this here? I don't get how this is love.

[Trusting Jesus]

Maybe God is allowing this to teach you. A job where you are called stupid and more when you make a mistake isn't a great work environment. Are you sure that God is telling you to stay or are you just unsure about finding a new job? I'm not doubting that God wants you to stay (a Christian example can go a long way to change hearts) but just be sure that it is God's direction.

Can you talk with your husband about how you feel about feeling rejected? I know that my husban quite often doesn't want to do what I want and I get my feelings hurt. But, when I really think about it, I haven't really let him know that I want to do something. For instance I'll say let's go to such-and-such for lunch. He'll say "No, I'm just going to have some cereal". Well, when I think about it I didn't say "I want to go out for lunch". If I do make it clear, he is really very happy to do what I want.

As far as the card ministry. I'm not sure what that is, but is it something you can start on your own? When others see your enthusiasm maybe they would be more supportive?

You probably have a very sensitive and gentle personality....this is a blessing, but easy for others to take advantage of. Pray and ask God to show you how to stay senstitive and gentle, but be a little more forceful.

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Nathele

[Gift of Grace]

Thank you so much for answering my post. Yes God was telling me to stay. Once in Church the pastor said something to the effect "If you are having a difficult time at your work don't leave you are needed there" and two different times at a bible study I got the same message. All of these were after I had prayed about it. No onw knew that I was having trouble at work and these messages were almost out of context with what was being taught. It was a jerk your head up kind of moment when you wonder if you really just heard that.

I send handmade cards to elderly shut-ins and nursing home residents. That is my card ministry. I have some volunteers that give me cards but could always use more. It is wonderful what joy a simple card can give to someone who is isolated. I thought it would be great to get together with the people at my church and make cards. I first went to the Art's Ministry pastor. He did not feel this was art. So he sent me to the Womens Ministry. Also rejected.

I have talked to my husband. He is a wonderful person but does not always get it.

Anyway thanks again

[shanee]

Truth is truth...rejected? they rejected Jesus too...surly they will reject us...take it up with God...let him fill you with understanding....i am very new here....but i wanted to try and help....so i might not say as good as stuff as others but ...hope i said someing good

[psalmone]

Hello

I liked hearing about your card ministry and I hope it fulfills.

As for the other things, the thing that came to mind is that the work of the cross may be also going on in ones life and that is rarely comfortable. It can feel very unpleasant and for indefinite periods though through it all see the emerging beauty, and concentrate more on that. At the right time you'll know if to make a stand because you'll have a gift of faith for it, otherwise focus on the resurrection life that may be unacknowledged, counting those blessings.

I once heard a minister say that God gives us submission challenges until it doesn't hurt to submit, givng challenges until it doesn't hurt to give and I'd imagine other types of challenges until we are developed in grace.

God Bless.

[Gift of Grace]

I can not thank you all enough. You have all helped me tremendously. If God is doing a work in me then Hallelujah! No matter how uncomfortable. Sometimes you just have to be reminded of the truth.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

P.S. I have taken a stand on the calling people stupid thing. They still do it.

Edited May 9, 2008 by Gift of Grace

[Gift of Grace]

So I have a new question. How do you go through the refiners fire gracefully and not rebelliously? I feel the lick of that first flame and I get so angry. I would love to see it for what it is.

[Trusting Jesus]

When you find out how to go through that fire.....let me know! It is very difficult to allow God to refine us and we need to pray about it and when the anger flares up, try to take those thought captive and pray right away.

Now, about your card ministry. This sounds like a gift that God has given to you. Wow, what you are giving to these people is wonderful. If others don't want to share in it then they are missing out. But, here's a couple of ideas. It sounds like you attend a large church. If there is an art minister then there is probably a childrens ministry. Is there a day care? Church school? Sunday school? Youth ministry? Any of these may be looking for an art project for the kids. Or, what about a ladies get-together. Maybe once a month you could host a coffee morning for ladies at church - or even in your neighborhood (which would be a way of witnessing outside of your church). Maybe you would start with one or two ladies. Those are just some ideas. For this thing that you are doing you really don't need the "blessing" from your church to do it. Maybe even invite other ladies from other churches to join. Also, if there is a Christian school near you, ask them if the kids might want to do this for an art project.

These are just a few ideas, but it really sounds as if God has given you a blessing in doing this. If others choose to turn away from this blessing, don't allow their attitude to discourage you. God has more than likely given them another ministry which they are following.

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Nathee

[psalmone]

I know I hate it too.

We are told that the Lord despised the shame in the bearing of the cross, thats why I mentioned as honorably as poss how embarrassing the cross could have been for the Lord and the whole process. Though He bore it to conquer it and He now has a name above all names.

That means theres a work to be done in that area of advocating for the harassed and aggravated and persecuted.

It is hard to remain faithful when they try to make us look like fools, this is territory that needs alot of wisdom and ministry.

It's not cowardly to refuse overreaction, it's wisdom.

Let's just let the Lord strengthen us daily in Him and delight in that.

We then have to love our enemies.lol. So it's just to see how love might consume the whole thing. May the Lord give us a vision for these types of experiences and give us ready wisdom to respond with.

God Bless Thanks for your post..

[mead]