Lost..

[Miss Pryzma]

Has anyone ever felt like they are going no where?

People say I am too ambitious and want to do too many things - is that a bad thing? ...I don't know anymore, I just don't. I know I should go to University and get my degree it's something to fall back on in life and now-a-days you need it. But I don't know if thats really what I want right now. It's hard to explain... My parents really incourage it.. .they say it's my choice do what I want. But I always feel like if I don't they will look at me in a lower light. I feel like that right now... nothing I do is ever good enough. I try So hard to please them, but it's like nothing ever quite meets their standards. Yet my sister can be in debt, fail (she trys hard too) but they are always more 'horray' for her. I feel like I'm walking in her shadow. And if not I have to live up to what she's done.

Why, why do I feel like this. One day is fine the next it's not. I just want to be me, I want to travel and move around - but I feel trapped. It's like I keep hitting a brick wall. When I was away from home for 9 months, I felt the most alive I've ever felt in life, I was more myself than anything. Don't get me wrong I love my family, and I know they love me and want the best. But why do i have this passion to get away? Why don't I have it for Uni and things here - I try so hard for it, but it's not there. It feels like I'm wasting time here. The days go by and it's always the same, I want that day to go by even quicker. I know I should be living and doing something, but I can't I feel trapped...Oh I don't know! Please Lord help.....

[followerofjesus]

Try not to live outside the present. Anxiety can really bring you down in the natural world.

[tako]

Dear Pryzma, I know it's hard but I think it's best if you put those feeling aside and just tell yourself I must put my energy elsewhere, I'm sure you'll feel better as time goes by and you look back someday and say whew!!, better than being back there.!!! hope this helps you.. In Christ TAKO.

[nebula]

Indirection - I know it all too well!

Unfortunately, I can't give you the direction you need, but I can share what I have learned through my struggle. When you think about the decisions you can make, which bring you peace and which bring you turmoil? Which direction(s) do you feel grace for, and which do you feel none?

Granted, peace and grace aren't about which choice is "easy" - because peace and grace are knowing the tough path that lies ahead but having (feeling/believing you have) the strength to endure it.

I don't know if this helps or not. If you need me to help you understand what I'm talking about better and how it can apply to your experience, feel free to pM me and see about walking you through this.

Much grace!

*Neb*

[tako]

Hi again Pryzma, Just thought I'd explain myself a little. I think maybe how you feel is because of your parents feelings towards your sister is the problem. You see a lot of parents have their favorites., I know they shouldn't do this but they do, and thats a fact of life. As a partent myself I know this and try not to play favorites between my kids, I have two, a boy and a girl, and am blessed that they are opposite sexes, other wise I may have a problem of sibling rivalry and favoritism, It's hard not to let this happen and am always aware of this. So your parents do love you I'm very sure, But you can't change they way they feel. So It's hard to accept but you must and go on. I don't know if this is your problem but I'm just trying to help. My prayers for you TAKO.

[BoldlyProclaimingChrist]

I really think you should talk to your parents about what you shared with us now. Be completely honest with them. I'm sure they're not intentionally trying to hurt you or compare you to your sister so I think you should ask them why they say or do the things they do. Tell them how you feel and how they are making you feel.

As far as attending a university - you should always pray about it. If you have a peace in your heart about attending then fine, if not, then maybe you should rethink this but you must pray. God is in control of everything and if you've given control of your life to Him, then it is possible that your decision to attend a certain univ. will not affect the plan God has for you.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk more about this ok.

bpc

[Miss Pryzma]

Hi again Pryzma, Just thought I'd explain myself a little. I think maybe how you feel is because of your parents feelings towards your sister is the problem. You see a lot of parents have their favorites., I know they shouldn't do this but they do, and thats a fact of life. As a partent myself I know this and try not to play favorites between my kids, I have two, a boy and a girl, and am blessed that they are opposite sexes, other wise I may have a problem of sibling rivalry and favoritism, It's hard not to let this happen and am always aware of this. So your parents do love you I'm very sure, But you can't change they way they feel. So It's hard to accept but you must and go on. I don't know if this is your problem but I'm just trying to help. My prayers for you TAKO.

To be honest, I don't think that it. And if it were it would be my little sister they favour lol.. My parents try their best. They moved to a differnet country for their kids safty. It's just that I don't know if me going to Uni is to please them (which every time i try please them it's never good enough) or if it's what I am really suppose to do. Like I said before, I just don't know?!

All I want right now is to get away.. not forever, just for a while. I know it must sound bad, like i want to runaway from everything, and who knows it could be. But I feel trapped here, and can't seem to grow or be who I am - whatever that may be.

Please pray for me, that the Lord will show me what he wants me to do with my life, where to go and what to do, or what not to do.

[Guest rachel1020]

I get restless where I am at at times, but other times I am fine. I think that is human nature - to want to leave home and explore other places. If you feel you must go to univ. is going somewhere far from home an option? I'm not sure where you live or where you would attend univ but even somewhere that is a few hours away from your parents may give you the distant from them you are looking for, but also you would be doing something productive and good for your future. Just a thought... I hope everything works out and that God will give you peace and guidance!

[tako]

Hi Pryzma, First of all don't beat yourself up so much,your feeling towards your family is quite normal i feel, It's just that it is time for you to grow up and make your own life and decisions. Stop putting yourself on a guilt trip, Like a bird, time to fly on its own and make your own nest. Just keep in touch with your parents from time to time, and start living your own life. It's nothing bad about this, in fact it's expected of everyone. As far as going to the university, I feel you can't go wrong getting an education while your pondering what to do with your life. So think about this, I hope this helps. Prayers for you TAKO...

[chancer]

Hey Miss Pryzma,

First off I would give this situation and all the worry that comes with it completely to God.Now for what advice I have....Well I definitely think it is great that you are going to a university to get your degree because in this day and age it is very hard to do anything without a degree.Who knows you may not end up doing this but it is always nice to have something to fall back on.Maybe it is God tellign you that travel or something else is what you are supposed to be doing but I am not you so i really can't be sure.All I know is that God will guide you if you ask him.Keep praying about this every chance you get.Pray for the holy spirit to guide you to where you need to be and then to give you peace about where you end up.I will be in prayer about this also.God Bless!

ur sis in Christ,

Chancer