Big Time Posted October 16, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 149 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/26/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/26/1972 Share Posted October 16, 2008 Ah-Ha! You can give your love, and all your other gifts freely, expecting nothing in return. You are powerful and really don't need anything in return. Once you get to that place, then love and respect from others will come to you just as freely. The term "Co-Dependent" is a vague and huge definition of what different kinds of anxieties can include, but you ought to look it up. What you are going through is very common and you have God to thank for bringing you the information you need to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted October 17, 2008 david I'm sorry you feel so hopeless. Have you considered that this might not totally be based on events in your life? Your body might just be not producing whatever you need to feel "normal" and it could have run down so badly that you will require medication to feel right again? I am Bi Polar, it's physical. I didn't always know this. I just knew that suddenly, for no reason I was so depressed, morosely depressed. These depressions, without meds, would last for years and I just couldn't find my way out of an emotional paper bag. When I cycled to the opposing cycle, I thought that was normal as it was just a little more active as the rest of the population, with a little insomnia and...still less that what everyone else had in 'happiness' or 'contentment'. I will always be cyclical, but now, with meds, it is liveable. And my non depressive cycles aren't so melancholic. I think that my temperament would be a slight tilt toward Eeyore even if I wasn't bipolar. And I like myself now. But then...I thought it was useless. Nothing made sense, nothing was worth all the trouble and no amount of attention given to me was enough to prove that I was worth anyone's time. And...God forbid anyone reject me. But see, much of that was chemical. So, please see a doc, have them do a work up on serotonin and dopamine to make sure your brain isn't starving itself. You must also remember that God put you here to do something. If you are still alive, then you have not done it yet. You have a divine purpose and God thought it was worth making YOU the person to accomplish it. I do not know you, but I know that this means you have some special quality, something to contribute to the world. It would sadden me to think that you feel so alone that you never do whatever that is. You said that people do not return your love. You didn't define love or what sort of people. I believe that as believers, we should give brotherly love to everyone, as if they were Jesus. As far as interpersonal relationships, however, it is not required that it get any closer. Some people have personalities and qualities that have a specific purpose and are actually strengths, but...the general population does not see it that way. So they withdraw. Of course you could also have some human quirk that threatens. And in other cases, in today's world, it is just that people are sooo self centred they cant see things for what they are. It's not always a fatal personality flaw on your part it could be their human imperfections which cause them to not love and respect you. In fact, many times it is not YOU, it is them. With this in mind, I would start holding my emotions and deeper love closer to my heart, or at least further up my sleeve. Wait to see if they are even capable of respecting and loving unconditionally before offering anything above the love for mankind/brotherly love we are to show to all our fellows as believers. And, if all else fails, just hang around to make us happy here at worthy Praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ningning Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 119 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/28/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/21/1973 Share Posted October 17, 2008 David, please know that I'm praying for you... hold on brother. There are plenty of people who do care, especially here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David of Derby Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Senior Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 780 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 150 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/29/2007 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1983 Author Share Posted October 17, 2008 I wonder if the headaches I keep getting are related to this. I'm getting the point where I should see a doctor about that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I get killer headaches, migraines with the lightshow and all. But, with the fibromyalgia and the asthma and the bi polar meds, I can't take headache meds too, it makes me stupid (no comments please...I meant like a stoner or zombie). My doctor told me that people who have chronic pain often have headaches, because we use up our feelgood chemicals,. So, it could be related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy612 Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 191 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/15/1971 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Hi David, I'm so glad you're talking with us. This is what my day to day life feels like: I'm the head-the wall is what the people in my life have thrown up against me. This is me trying to find some value in the lives of the people I'm around day to day. This has been me my whole life. To this day, I have not figured out why I'm not even a little bit valueable. I could vanish and NO ONE would miss me. Well, my daughter would. I'm valuable to her, but as a mom, not a person (not that I am complaining). Over the years I've walked with God, He's taught me where my real value lies-in Him. I had no value before He came to live in me, because nothing in this world is valuable outside of Him. Not one single word I speak has value unless He is in my words. And people aren't seeking ME. They are seeking Him. So, in order for me to have value, I have to have God. Because you have God, you have value, and what you offer people through Him IS valuable. Not everyone knows this about themselves, and I think that's why people can be so hard to understand or difficult to deal with. It's a big concept and I'm not sure my words can do this justice. You have probably been more valuable to people than you realize because people aren't always real great at acknowleding those who help us. I know I haven't been real great at it. I desperately need this kind of affirmation, then God asked when and how I often I gave it. To my shame, not very often. A lot of people have helped me or at least tried to, and I don't think I ever acknowledge them for it. So I'm working on affirming others now. Maybe you don't know how often you've helped people, but God does. Ask Him for confirmation. And don't expect much from people. I've still got a lot of growing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy612 Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 191 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/15/1971 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Check out my post "Is 37 yrs to long to be lonely?" I'm aching too. Some days are much better than others, other days, not so good. That day wasn't so hot, I let the hurt get to me, but it was also the first time I've felt safe enough to be weak and let it out. I can't do that with the people I'm around. The people here reached out to me and shared their wisdom and their griefs. I received support and love. I don't feel so lonely, anymore. I hope you can do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2Many Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 89 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 8 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/10/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/09/1977 Share Posted October 17, 2008 That's okay. When I was a teen I tried suicide twice. Trying to pin down exactly why I wanted to die was impossible. It was a lifetime full of pains, plus confusion, but anger and rage, plus injustices, plus enemies, plus and plus and plus. I think I was just exhausted from trying to figure it all out and believing I never would because I was too dumb. Even now, when I try to post something that I'm struggling with, I end up confused about what the real problem is. For me, talking about everything, no matter how irrelevant it seems to the issue, is like digging through the muck to get at the truth buried inside me. I've had a world that has taught me so much stuff-all worldly wisdom-and its so ingrained in my flesh that I don't even trust my own conclusions anymore. God's helping me sift the world out of my thinking now and its taking its toll (it can be hard to let go of cherished worldly beliefs). I'm hopeful about the treasure being unburied though. So, give me pages and pages. Give me moans and groans. Let's start digging out the truth God put in you. This is one of the most honest, heartfelt, hopeful, and just plain good advice I have read. I know exactely where you are comming from Stormy. When I got saved-after the warm fuzzy feeling passed- I was left with a life in shambles. God took me through the tough job of going through my psyche and unearthing all sorts of painful wrongs I had done and that others had done unto me; some of which I had long ago forgotten. Just remember that God will not put you through more temptation (i.e. tribulation) than you are able to bear. He will make a way out for you. Keep on digging because there is awesome treasures buried within you. It is the you that God created to fellowship and love him before the world got ahold of you and you the world. I could have wrote this myself. Just know David I am praying for you! Like others' have said, moan, groan and type away. Sometimes just pouring our all the grief helps a lot. Both my husband and I are going through what Stormy just wrote above. It's a tough place to be, but take comfort in knowing you can and should cast your burdens upon Jesus. He wants you too, he wants to carry them for you and know you can always turn to us here at Worthy for support. Most of us I'm sure have been where you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormy612 Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 191 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/22/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/15/1971 Share Posted October 17, 2008 (edited) Amen LadyRaven! We do all have a purpose. I've begged God to take me home sometimes. And He hasn't yet. So, there must still be lots He needs me to do. Maybe I'm even doing some of it. I can trust Jesus to touch others because He knows the way to do it. I talk about how much I love Jesus, and how much He's loving me. Those are the seeds I carry. Where they land? I have to trust Him for that and the life to bring them forth. Edited October 17, 2008 by stormy612 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts