irishcowboy Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 127 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,248 Content Per Day: 0.87 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/23/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted October 17, 2008 I do not know why this would have been moved to advice. I did not see a request for advice at all. As a single pastor myself, women are trouble. If it were me, I would have asked her to leave and return when she was properly attired. But then, I am not in a position where I have to worry about being fired. no, but you are in a possition that requires you to maintain blamelessness..... me, I do not counsel, reason? I am not a licensed counselor by any state. with out that license, in some places, can be trouble..... now, if I were in a place to counsel people, I would at the least have a window.....BIG WINDOW.... where my secretary or wife could be where they could be watchful (two person integrety) and I would probably recored the session. where I am at, if one person in the conversation knows it is recorded, that is all that is required..... then if there are any accusations, there would be proof that nothing happened, yet, the confidentiallity would still be maintained. we do have to be aware of not only our physical actions or what people might try to say happened, but also our words. when I was doing private lessons for music (flute, clarinet, oboe and sax) i had a video camera going the whole time, this way there was no question about the actions or words or anything. the student and the students parent(s) knew the camera was there, there was times I did show the video to the parents also, was also used to show the progress..... but mostly for accountability....... mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishcowboy Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 127 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,248 Content Per Day: 0.87 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/23/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted October 17, 2008 oh yea, as far as the way the woman dresses, the secretary should have headed the woman off or given her a lap robe or something to cover herself first, or asked the pastor what he wanted the woman to do.... ahead of time would be better, or to have the woman schedual an appointment with the pastor rather then on that day, and if the woman shows back up dressed the same way, resked...... a few years ago, I had an appointment with some one to look over a business deal. I was the only one around the office area, the lady showed up, and I met her outside, where there were plenty of people, she showed up in a skirt that was very unbusiness like, very unprofessional.... I declined the business deal, she wanted to make another appointment, I said no..... it was not worth having this persons business to take a chance on spoiling my life with some word she spoke, or action she would or might have done..... mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kross Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 44 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,773 Content Per Day: 0.31 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/04/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/27/1957 Share Posted October 17, 2008 I have to tell ya when I read the post I felt compassion for the woman.. She must be in great need to dress like that .. very sad.. I would hope the Pastor was kind and helped her find help with her problem and with her attire... If a Pastor cannot see past the outside of a person who is in such need as she obviously was, they maybe he should not be a pastor.. Bless that dear old woman Lord... Help her and met her needy , needy heart... I probably shouldn't be a pastor in most churches. Most churches have decided that a pastor is the person who does all the other stuff on church time and then studies and prepares sermons on his own time. I would prefer to hire someone in to do visitations and counceling so i could devot emy time to outreach and networking the church with other churches and going door to door and study and sermon preparation, and 4 different Bible studies and........ That is why I started my own church, so I wouldn't have to deal with the other stuff, i have a group of people with the spiritual gift to do that. A gift I do not have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2008 Share Posted October 17, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted October 17, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted October 17, 2008 Me too Joe..this poor woman will remain on my mind for a long time.. My heart just aches for someone who has reached such an age in is in such a state of need.. I certainly pray the Lord will come to her aid... but for the grace of God how many of us would be so needy ...... I remember a Scripture often when I see the elderly either without having called upon the Lord to steer them through their lives or suffering sever illness where they have no control and need help ... Ecc 12:1 Remember also thy Creator in the days of thy youth, before the evil days come, and the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted October 23, 2008 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 191 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 629 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/19/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/29/1970 Share Posted October 23, 2008 I think we need to ask our selves if this woman dresses this way all the time or if she dressed this way to get the attend of the pastor? I know people who just put on anything their hands come to and don't even think about how they look. Did the pastor say anything to her regarding her attire? If not maybe he knows this woman. I remember when I first became a christian I wore a spagette strap dress to church and the next sunday someone made the comment that we shouldn't try to get the pastors attention by what we wear. Get the pastors attention... are you kidding me. After excepting Christ into my heart as Lord and Savior I was finally getting over my shyness. I was seeing me as He saw me instead of the imagine of a victim that I'd lived with for many years. After hearing that comment for a while I went back to wearing my size seven. (I'm a size 3) You see I wanted to look nice for Jesus I never thought someone would look at that and see it as something ugly. I think the most important thing is to remember that God knows her heart. He knows why she was dressed that way. You'd be amazed that her attire may have been God's plan to reveal something in the heart of other people. God bless you Jacqueline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest asowersheart Posted October 24, 2008 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I think back to having heard Billy Graham say that they decided at the beginning of his ministry that no male team member would ever meet alone with a woman- ever. As tah said, the woman is in a state of need, and is sad at that age. She does need our prayers. Kross, I agree with having someone with that gift meet with her. Some churches don't have that luxury on staff or as a laymember, so it's required of the pastor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iryssa Posted October 24, 2008 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 117 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,860 Content Per Day: 0.55 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/10/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/13/1984 Share Posted October 24, 2008 I think we need to ask our selves if this woman dresses this way all the time or if she dressed this way to get the attend of the pastor? I know people who just put on anything their hands come to and don't even think about how they look. Did the pastor say anything to her regarding her attire? If not maybe he knows this woman. I remember when I first became a christian I wore a spagette strap dress to church and the next sunday someone made the comment that we shouldn't try to get the pastors attention by what we wear. Get the pastors attention... are you kidding me. After excepting Christ into my heart as Lord and Savior I was finally getting over my shyness. I was seeing me as He saw me instead of the imagine of a victim that I'd lived with for many years. After hearing that comment for a while I went back to wearing my size seven. (I'm a size 3) You see I wanted to look nice for Jesus I never thought someone would look at that and see it as something ugly. I think the most important thing is to remember that God knows her heart. He knows why she was dressed that way. You'd be amazed that her attire may have been God's plan to reveal something in the heart of other people. God bless you Jacqueline *nods* I totally agree with this post. Just as a practical matter, have someone else with you when you meet with this woman. You don't want to be alone with her while she is dressed inappropriately. Perhaps you can have another sister in her peer group gently suggest that the lady "leave a lot more to the imagination", if you take my meaning. *grin* The original poster is a woman and I'm guessing not the pastor that was met by the badly dressed woman...I agree that that would be a wise course of action for the pastor, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ningning Posted October 24, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 119 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/28/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/21/1973 Share Posted October 24, 2008 (edited) Wearing skimpy clothing while coming to the office of the pastor for advice, shows disrespect to his position. Women should be careful of showing too much skin, in the way they wear their covering/clothing. God even killed animals so that Eve, all tainted with sin, would be covered. But here we are today, baring everything we can so that people will get to see our nakedness. God wants us to hold our earthly vessels in honor. My idea only. Edited October 24, 2008 by Ningning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poindexter Posted October 24, 2008 Group: Junior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 85 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/22/2008 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/26/1948 Share Posted October 24, 2008 (edited) Sounds like she is having her identity crisis..she sounds like she was dressed like a candy striper...I said striper...not stripper... Edited October 24, 2008 by Poindexter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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