Shayha

Hey, everyone. It's been a while. Life has been nothing short of hectic. I have a slight update with my situation, though not much has really changed. Yesterday I had a dream about my friend and I. It was next year and he had gotten his own apartment and I was visiting him over the summer. We had decided to start dating and after his long hard day at work, I made him a candlelit dinner, a hot bath, and gave him a back massage. It was all intimate, not necessarily sexual, which I've noticed about all my dreams about him. He told me he loved me, and though this was all a dream, it made my day. Needless to say I told my friend about it; he responded humorously while still telling me to take it down a notch (as if I can control what I dream). It eventually lead to a conversation in which he described to me a scenario where a guy at work was messing around with him and said he should get himself a girlfriend. My friend had responded with "No girls want this. Last couple said I'm fat." When he said that to me, I teasingly called him a liar because I clearly want to be with him and don't think he's fat. He said however he doesn't count friends, which is the category I fall under for him. He said it's easier to start a relationship with someone you just met than someone you know. That totally didn't make any sense to me so I inquired into it, and it basically boiled down to "you don't get hurt as badly or lose someone as important to you that way." When things don't work out between friends, the friendship is never the same and they go their own separate ways and never seen again. He explained to me a scenario in which he tried dating a friend who had strong feelings for him (like I do). But it didn't work out and he doesn't even know where she is or what she's up to. Apparently he stopped being interested in her, but she thought they were great. The one thing he regrets most about it is he felt he was leading her on in a lie by being in a relationship. He then told me this: There's a reason why I'm not gonna try with you and it's not because of looks. You're attractive. It's I don't have strong feelings. I've feelings towards you as a friend but when it comes for something more there's nothing there, so yeah. Hate to sound cold. I could tell this was something very hard for him to talk about, because he expressed how he likes to keep that kind of stuff to himself, even not telling his guy buddies and family. It was of course hard for me to hear as well, and you can imagine I started to doubt myself again. But I replied to him by saying this: I'm not saying this next part out of selfishness in hopes that you'd change your mind and go out with me. Obviously that would make me happy, but that's not the reason I'm saying this. If we did try it, and you still never felt anything, I promise to you that I would never vanish like that. I couldn't. And honestly I think the 50 times you've already turned me down have proven that. lol Our friendship is so strong that time, distance, parents, fights, and heartbreaks haven't been able to scratch it. God blessed me when he gave me you; I wouldn't go and trash that blessing no matter what. God may never release me of my feelings for you. Maybe He will slap me silly and show me someone else who I'm really supposed to be with. Or maybe God will slap you silly. lol I don't know. I don't think either of us can really know other than taking to heart what He says in the Bible. And that's what I've been trying to do. Though maybe it hasn't quelled my feelings for you, at least it assures me whatever happens will be ok and is in God's hands, even if I live 100 years a single life. I don't know what else to do but continue to wait and see what God wants. I really wish this was more clear cut than it is and God could just tell me straight up what He wants. It's not really any easier knowing that my love is stronger and his goes nowhere.

Does God show approval/disapproval through dreams as well? For example, I've had dreams in the past about my best friend, who I deeply love (see thread "Help with Love and God's Plan for Me"), where he and I are married and are living together or in bed together. There's never anything sexual; it's only ever love and tenderness. I've often prayed to God asking what He wants/plans for my friend and I's relationship, especially since he just sees me as a close friend and I definitely see him as more. Or is that dream just a product of earthly desire? This all goes back to my question earlier: how do we know if God is relaying a message to us through a dream?

To be honest, I think this is why I'm not enjoying teaching as much, and it's only been 2 years. The few students I do have that hold onto faith in God give me that glimmer of hope. Progressivism and secularism has really struck hard here. It most likely already has, but I can certainly start including them regularly in my prayers.

Recently, I had a dream that while I was working at my school walking in the hall, a student I've never seen before pulled me aside and had me look into a classroom. I noticed of course some of my students but then there was a man dressed in a gangster suit and hat, with an evil grin on his face. No one else could see the man except for me and this student I didn't know. When the bell rang for dismissal, the students filed out like zombies and engraved on their foreheads was the numbers "666" and "1300" (not sure where that number comes from). The mysterious, creepy man also vanished. This student that called me over and I started to cry, knowing what was happening, and we realized neither of us had the mark on our heads. I rushed home to find out if my family was ok, but woke up before the dream could finish. The dream got me thinking about the significance of our dreams. I know that many times our dreams mean nothing, but then there are moments in which God communicates with us through dreams. There have been times where I've felt that He is conveying a message to me, and others not. This recent dream of course struck me because of the visual of seeing my own students marked. Has anyone else had dreams like this or dreams where they could clearly distinguish God communicating? Do our dreams truly hold significance, or are they a distraction we need to avoid?

Hello, everyone. It's been a long time since I last posted. I've been so busy with my first full year of teaching and now God has blessed me with the start of a second year. There have also been recent health issues with my family, and most of my attention and free time is dedicated to that. My situation with my best friend is still the same. I'm still just as crazy about him; nothing seems to have waned. Yet, he still doesn't feel the same for me. Emotionally, I'm able to accept and cope with that so much better. Especially when I look back to the Word of God for wisdom. Of course I still pray everyday for the Lord to guide me on the path He has for me, and for clarity about my friend. Each passing day, I feel more certain my friend is the one despite his admittance of not reciprocating those feelings. It's to the point where I'm so sure that I can't even imagine being with another, even if my friend disappears from my life or gets married to another. I tell him I love him each and everyday and sometimes more than once a day. Though he has admitted to me sometimes me telling him I love him makes him uncomfortable because he knows how I really feel. It's difficult for sure; I imagine this must be how Jesus feels when He loves those who reject him. Though my friend and I are still extremely close and it doesn't seem my feelings for him bother him enough to let me go. Any help, prayers, or advice is very appreciated. God bless.

Oh gosh. I can relate. :/ I think Omegaman's advice is truly the best in this case. Focus on being good friends for now and wait. If it is meant to be, it will happen as God intends in His time. I know it's hard, believe me. But right now, it's important to develop that friendship part until it is rock solid and focus right now on the current stage of your life and what God has for it now. It's possible this boy is the one God intends for you, but you will only know that when it comes in God's time, when He decides it should happen. You don't want to rush things like this, especially at your age. Be patient. Pray about it always. God will give you the answer in due time. In the meantime, read His word and follow it.

Seems like my dad may be coming up tomorrow and chances are, he will want to sit down and talk about it all. I know at this point the truth must come out, but I'm worried of being judged and losing or hurting the relationship with my family or the relationship with my best friend.

Hi, everyone. It's been a while. Thankfully I've been busy because I finally got the teaching job I've been praying for and I'm doing well with that. Lot of hard work this first year along with finally being on my own but the Heavenly Father is taking care of me. My relationship with my online friend is still solid and yeah I still love him just as much. lol He's been encouraging and supporting me all along the way. However just last night, something came up that may not end well. My mother came up and was helping me clean while I was a work, and she stumbled upon a list of gifts I made like last year and on it was the name of my friend and his planned gift. When I came home, it was brought up and she asked me tons of questions about it and who he was. Problem here is my family is very much against online relationships/friendships. I've felt the need to lie about talking to people online for fear of losing him. But now I'm afraid I'm going to lose my best friend and my family's trust. I hate that I've not been able to talk to them about him and I never wanted to lie. But I knew that if I did admit I was talking to him, they would likely force me to separate from him and not speak to him again. They have made me do that once before when he and I were first getting to know each other, and the pain of that separation and not knowing if I'd talk to him again was unbearable. I know that's not a good reason to lie; there's never a good reason to lie. But it was my reasoning, to preserve the relationship I had with my friend. She also called and told my dad about it. He asked me questions on the phone and though I didn't explain or reveal all of it, I did say how he was someone I met online and I still talk to him, he's not from my state or the surrounding but he's from the US. I assured him I never did anything stupid, and he said we will have to have a serious talk about all this. I felt so sick and upset last night I went to bed in tears. I prayed to God and pleaded so much for Him to not forsake me in this, and begged for His forgiveness for not telling my parents the truth about it all. I still feel upset and I feel like I'm going to feel this way until I find out what is to come of this. I ask for any advice or prayers anyone can offer please. I know I probably deserve this after hiding it from them for so long; I just really need some help.

Both my uncle and my friend's dad died from liver cancer caused by smoking. Seeing them suffer in pain like that was very difficult; stay strong and don't fall into the temptation of smoking again. You'll be better off without it.

Yeah, it's definitely not easy. lol That's for sure. But I'm trying to get better at it; it's just especially hard when you see a potential opportunity and want to take it. Not to mention the feeling of uncertainty as to whether or not another opportunity shall arise. But that's where the trust comes in.

Yeah, I guess I just kind of viewed it as there still being time where he could unwind and we could hang out. Even if it was just a couple hours each day. But perhaps you're right; I need to not worry and let God handle it. If God wills it to happen, it will in His time, not mine. I just need to be patient.

So recently, my friend has told me on multiple occasions that he will be alone for a week in May- my birthday week no less- because his family will be going to see other family and he will be stuck at home because he has college classes to attend. He's expressed how he's bummed at the fact he's going to be alone and probably bored, so I brought up the idea to him that maybe with a little convincing, I could come and see him for that week. But when I suggested it, he said no because he will have his classes, chores, errands, and people coming over to fix parts of the house and patio. I'm not really sure why that would be grounds enough for me to not come, unless it's fear of others reactions as mentioned before, but still. I feel like it would be a good time for the two of us to meet up if he is able and I am able. Not to mention what a great birthday that would be.

But why have this kind of hostility towards Cruz and not Trump as well if both are not of that same bird? Makes you wonder. From how the article sounds, Trump and Boehner are buddies. Whether or not that's true idk.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/04/28/boehner-unleashed-ex-speaker-calls-cruz-lucifer-miserable-son-b.html Didn't Boehner retire from his role of Speaker of the House and claim he wanted to work on being a better Christian or Catholic? Or am I remembering incorrectly?

Oh yeah. How could I forget? For a second I thought the government actually cared...whoops! I feel there's a deeper, darker purpose here than just trying to prevent Trump from getting the presidency. That may be the tip of the iceberg, but what's the behemoth hiding underwater?