Shayha

Hey, everyone. It's been a while. Life has been nothing short of hectic. I have a slight update with my situation, though not much has really changed. Yesterday I had a dream about my friend and I. It was next year and he had gotten his own apartment and I was visiting him over the summer. We had decided to start dating and after his long hard day at work, I made him a candlelit dinner, a hot bath, and gave him a back massage. It was all intimate, not necessarily sexual, which I've noticed about all my dreams about him. He told me he loved me, and though this was all a dream, it made my day. Needless to say I told my friend about it; he responded humorously while still telling me to take it down a notch (as if I can control what I dream). It eventually lead to a conversation in which he described to me a scenario where a guy at work was messing around with him and said he should get himself a girlfriend. My friend had responded with "No girls want this. Last couple said I'm fat." When he said that to me, I teasingly called him a liar because I clearly want to be with him and don't think he's fat. He said however he doesn't count friends, which is the category I fall under for him. He said it's easier to start a relationship with someone you just met than someone you know. That totally didn't make any sense to me so I inquired into it, and it basically boiled down to "you don't get hurt as badly or lose someone as important to you that way." When things don't work out between friends, the friendship is never the same and they go their own separate ways and never seen again. He explained to me a scenario in which he tried dating a friend who had strong feelings for him (like I do). But it didn't work out and he doesn't even know where she is or what she's up to. Apparently he stopped being interested in her, but she thought they were great. The one thing he regrets most about it is he felt he was leading her on in a lie by being in a relationship. He then told me this: There's a reason why I'm not gonna try with you and it's not because of looks. You're attractive. It's I don't have strong feelings. I've feelings towards you as a friend but when it comes for something more there's nothing there, so yeah. Hate to sound cold. I could tell this was something very hard for him to talk about, because he expressed how he likes to keep that kind of stuff to himself, even not telling his guy buddies and family. It was of course hard for me to hear as well, and you can imagine I started to doubt myself again. But I replied to him by saying this: I'm not saying this next part out of selfishness in hopes that you'd change your mind and go out with me. Obviously that would make me happy, but that's not the reason I'm saying this. If we did try it, and you still never felt anything, I promise to you that I would never vanish like that. I couldn't. And honestly I think the 50 times you've already turned me down have proven that. lol Our friendship is so strong that time, distance, parents, fights, and heartbreaks haven't been able to scratch it. God blessed me when he gave me you; I wouldn't go and trash that blessing no matter what. God may never release me of my feelings for you. Maybe He will slap me silly and show me someone else who I'm really supposed to be with. Or maybe God will slap you silly. lol I don't know. I don't think either of us can really know other than taking to heart what He says in the Bible. And that's what I've been trying to do. Though maybe it hasn't quelled my feelings for you, at least it assures me whatever happens will be ok and is in God's hands, even if I live 100 years a single life. I don't know what else to do but continue to wait and see what God wants. I really wish this was more clear cut than it is and God could just tell me straight up what He wants. It's not really any easier knowing that my love is stronger and his goes nowhere.

Does God show approval/disapproval through dreams as well? For example, I've had dreams in the past about my best friend, who I deeply love (see thread "Help with Love and God's Plan for Me"), where he and I are married and are living together or in bed together. There's never anything sexual; it's only ever love and tenderness. I've often prayed to God asking what He wants/plans for my friend and I's relationship, especially since he just sees me as a close friend and I definitely see him as more. Or is that dream just a product of earthly desire? This all goes back to my question earlier: how do we know if God is relaying a message to us through a dream?

To be honest, I think this is why I'm not enjoying teaching as much, and it's only been 2 years. The few students I do have that hold onto faith in God give me that glimmer of hope. Progressivism and secularism has really struck hard here. It most likely already has, but I can certainly start including them regularly in my prayers.

Recently, I had a dream that while I was working at my school walking in the hall, a student I've never seen before pulled me aside and had me look into a classroom. I noticed of course some of my students but then there was a man dressed in a gangster suit and hat, with an evil grin on his face. No one else could see the man except for me and this student I didn't know. When the bell rang for dismissal, the students filed out like zombies and engraved on their foreheads was the numbers "666" and "1300" (not sure where that number comes from). The mysterious, creepy man also vanished. This student that called me over and I started to cry, knowing what was happening, and we realized neither of us had the mark on our heads. I rushed home to find out if my family was ok, but woke up before the dream could finish. The dream got me thinking about the significance of our dreams. I know that many times our dreams mean nothing, but then there are moments in which God communicates with us through dreams. There have been times where I've felt that He is conveying a message to me, and others not. This recent dream of course struck me because of the visual of seeing my own students marked. Has anyone else had dreams like this or dreams where they could clearly distinguish God communicating? Do our dreams truly hold significance, or are they a distraction we need to avoid?

Hello, everyone. It's been a long time since I last posted. I've been so busy with my first full year of teaching and now God has blessed me with the start of a second year. There have also been recent health issues with my family, and most of my attention and free time is dedicated to that. My situation with my best friend is still the same. I'm still just as crazy about him; nothing seems to have waned. Yet, he still doesn't feel the same for me. Emotionally, I'm able to accept and cope with that so much better. Especially when I look back to the Word of God for wisdom. Of course I still pray everyday for the Lord to guide me on the path He has for me, and for clarity about my friend. Each passing day, I feel more certain my friend is the one despite his admittance of not reciprocating those feelings. It's to the point where I'm so sure that I can't even imagine being with another, even if my friend disappears from my life or gets married to another. I tell him I love him each and everyday and sometimes more than once a day. Though he has admitted to me sometimes me telling him I love him makes him uncomfortable because he knows how I really feel. It's difficult for sure; I imagine this must be how Jesus feels when He loves those who reject him. Though my friend and I are still extremely close and it doesn't seem my feelings for him bother him enough to let me go. Any help, prayers, or advice is very appreciated. God bless.

Oh gosh. I can relate. :/ I think Omegaman's advice is truly the best in this case. Focus on being good friends for now and wait. If it is meant to be, it will happen as God intends in His time. I know it's hard, believe me. But right now, it's important to develop that friendship part until it is rock solid and focus right now on the current stage of your life and what God has for it now. It's possible this boy is the one God intends for you, but you will only know that when it comes in God's time, when He decides it should happen. You don't want to rush things like this, especially at your age. Be patient. Pray about it always. God will give you the answer in due time. In the meantime, read His word and follow it.

Seems like my dad may be coming up tomorrow and chances are, he will want to sit down and talk about it all. I know at this point the truth must come out, but I'm worried of being judged and losing or hurting the relationship with my family or the relationship with my best friend.

Hi, everyone. It's been a while. Thankfully I've been busy because I finally got the teaching job I've been praying for and I'm doing well with that. Lot of hard work this first year along with finally being on my own but the Heavenly Father is taking care of me. My relationship with my online friend is still solid and yeah I still love him just as much. lol He's been encouraging and supporting me all along the way. However just last night, something came up that may not end well. My mother came up and was helping me clean while I was a work, and she stumbled upon a list of gifts I made like last year and on it was the name of my friend and his planned gift. When I came home, it was brought up and she asked me tons of questions about it and who he was. Problem here is my family is very much against online relationships/friendships. I've felt the need to lie about talking to people online for fear of losing him. But now I'm afraid I'm going to lose my best friend and my family's trust. I hate that I've not been able to talk to them about him and I never wanted to lie. But I knew that if I did admit I was talking to him, they would likely force me to separate from him and not speak to him again. They have made me do that once before when he and I were first getting to know each other, and the pain of that separation and not knowing if I'd talk to him again was unbearable. I know that's not a good reason to lie; there's never a good reason to lie. But it was my reasoning, to preserve the relationship I had with my friend. She also called and told my dad about it. He asked me questions on the phone and though I didn't explain or reveal all of it, I did say how he was someone I met online and I still talk to him, he's not from my state or the surrounding but he's from the US. I assured him I never did anything stupid, and he said we will have to have a serious talk about all this. I felt so sick and upset last night I went to bed in tears. I prayed to God and pleaded so much for Him to not forsake me in this, and begged for His forgiveness for not telling my parents the truth about it all. I still feel upset and I feel like I'm going to feel this way until I find out what is to come of this. I ask for any advice or prayers anyone can offer please. I know I probably deserve this after hiding it from them for so long; I just really need some help.

Both my uncle and my friend's dad died from liver cancer caused by smoking. Seeing them suffer in pain like that was very difficult; stay strong and don't fall into the temptation of smoking again. You'll be better off without it.

Yeah, it's definitely not easy. lol That's for sure. But I'm trying to get better at it; it's just especially hard when you see a potential opportunity and want to take it. Not to mention the feeling of uncertainty as to whether or not another opportunity shall arise. But that's where the trust comes in.

Yeah, I guess I just kind of viewed it as there still being time where he could unwind and we could hang out. Even if it was just a couple hours each day. But perhaps you're right; I need to not worry and let God handle it. If God wills it to happen, it will in His time, not mine. I just need to be patient.

So recently, my friend has told me on multiple occasions that he will be alone for a week in May- my birthday week no less- because his family will be going to see other family and he will be stuck at home because he has college classes to attend. He's expressed how he's bummed at the fact he's going to be alone and probably bored, so I brought up the idea to him that maybe with a little convincing, I could come and see him for that week. But when I suggested it, he said no because he will have his classes, chores, errands, and people coming over to fix parts of the house and patio. I'm not really sure why that would be grounds enough for me to not come, unless it's fear of others reactions as mentioned before, but still. I feel like it would be a good time for the two of us to meet up if he is able and I am able. Not to mention what a great birthday that would be.

But why have this kind of hostility towards Cruz and not Trump as well if both are not of that same bird? Makes you wonder. From how the article sounds, Trump and Boehner are buddies. Whether or not that's true idk.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2016/04/28/boehner-unleashed-ex-speaker-calls-cruz-lucifer-miserable-son-b.html Didn't Boehner retire from his role of Speaker of the House and claim he wanted to work on being a better Christian or Catholic? Or am I remembering incorrectly?

Oh yeah. How could I forget? For a second I thought the government actually cared...whoops! I feel there's a deeper, darker purpose here than just trying to prevent Trump from getting the presidency. That may be the tip of the iceberg, but what's the behemoth hiding underwater?

And we don't hear about this on the news why? Or more importantly, why aren't we doing anything about this?

Aww thanks, Kwik. Many prayers and blessings to you as well. And I completely agree with what you're saying about having that firm foundation in God. If we don't have that, then we will be lost in everything we do! Whether that's as a mother, a friend, a wife, a teacher, anything. Yes, he does sound like it. lol Haven't run into any other guy like him before, that's for sure. I'm continuing to pray and patient to see what God has in store for me.

Thank you Kwik. I'm certainly trying my best to focus on God and trust Him completely. Honestly I think it's why it's become easier for me to handle it when I talk to my friend about it and when I think of it; it doesn't hurt anymore. I only feel peace and love. He has become my best friend despite us never meeting in person. And he will always be that if not more because of what we have been through and how God keeps us together even if it's just online. Hearing your story kwik is encouraging, but also a reminder of what I must continue to do, even if it doesn't end the same way for me. God has blessed me by bringing this man into my life in itself.

Of course I want to be with someone that loves me and wants to be with me. He does love me as a very close friend and wants to spend time with me in person; we text each other everyday throughout the day. But shouldn't a chance be freely given before a decision such as that is made? At least that's the conclusion I've come to whenever I pray about it. Letting God decide when he and I meet, while continuing to love him and following God's Word.

I realize that looking back at that time now that I've grown closer to God and learned to truly trust Him. Back then, I didn't have that trust so though I was a Christian, I wasn't focused on God. Once I had the chance to talk to him again, and we got to know more about each other, I started to learn more about myself , including all the areas of my life I needed to fix or improve, especially my relationship with God.

1. Unfortunately, because he's been paying for his college by himself, he has barely any savings to do anything and he doesn't have a job currently. He's finishing up his degree this summer and he's been applying everywhere he can find for a job to get some money. His main focus currently is to get a hold of his life so he can become more independent, as I'm trying myself. Though I've managed to get both a subbing job and a cashier job. 2. Because he lives at home, his family would find out about me and react very badly. He knows my parents would grill him and more likely drill me more. Perhaps just kick him out. And we've talked about if I visited him and he claims his family would assume I'm there for more sinful reasons and not just visiting a friend. 3. Neither of us are ready for marriage. We don't have stable jobs, we don't live on our own or have the independence we should have at this point because of it. I know in my heart he could be my husband, but I don't want to marry someone I've only known online. I want to spend time with him in person and date him and develop the in person relationship first, as it should be done. Though we haven't met in person though, I know he loves me as a close friend and I love him. 4. I have no problems breaking off from the Catholic Church. And I know I shouldn't be living with my family; you have no idea how hard I've been trying to make it so I can support myself and get out on my own. Yes I could probably get out and rent a whole in the worst part of town and get on welfare but I don't want to take from people who genuinely need it.

I apologize for my arrogance. It's my opinion though that he will simply say anything to win the election based on his words and actions. Especially his statement on an interview he had with O'Reilly where he said he knew his best bet was under the Republican party. But again, forgive me for my previous statement.

He takes it seriously only because this is another game for him; he only wants to win so he can cross that off his list of "accomplishments." There's no genuine concern for anything but himself. Then again, isn't that the case with almost every politician we have?

I have considered all these things many times. We have sent each other pictures of ourselves, which I have checked, voice messages, and videos. And it's been three years and I haven't found any reason to doubt their validity. -He's not too good to be true; he does have plenty of faults. As do all of us. In fact he used to drink, but wasn't a drunk, but now doesn't because of the negative impact it had on his life and also what God says about it. -He has tried to do Skype, but he is unable to do so because of issues with his phone and data. He can only handle short video messages (like less than one minute). Plus, with both of our family situations, we wouldn't be able to Skype hardly at all. -That's possible; can't really dispute that. Though I fell for him after that dreadful two weeks. So the same could be said of me, but I can definitely tell you its real on my end. lol -Again, this one is because of his family being completely against this sort of thing. His brother had met a woman on facebook and the day they met, he proposed to her. His family was completely appalled and there was a lot of drama and stress, and when it happened, my friend honestly sounded scared. So he has to keep our friendship under wraps (just as I have to because of my family). Not to mention his friends and others he knows within the church and community would harass him for it. -Wouldn't that apply to me too though? Even though I have no ill-intent? I understand the dangers; I used to be against online anything completely. I wouldn't have let it gone this far if I had sensed anything dishonest or malicious. I know it's not impossible to be fooled in this kind of circumstance. But I trust him after everything we've been through thus far. I know. My one friend hooked up with a single pastor she met online and she fell in love with him. But it didn't work at all. As far as I know, no one. And he's been so honest as to tell me when he goes on dates with other women. He's always afraid to tell me, but we stay honest to each other, and he doesn't have anyone now.

Thank you, Butero. Many of my friends have told me to move on (many of whom aren't Christian), mostly because of the fact he's said he doesn't love me like I love him and doesn't try for it. But like you said, that feeling deep inside that keeps me going really feels like its God, because there have been multiple times where I was ready to just never even speak to my friend again because of my feelings and give up on him completely. But every time that happened, and I'd cry at night about it, a calm would wash over me and assure me that it will be all right if I just hang in there. I understand why I shouldn't wait forever; if he's not the one, then why hold myself back from the true one God has for me? There's just something so different about this man... When we were first getting to know each other, and about a month passed by, my family and I went on vacation for a week. During that vacation, they had found out I had been talking with a man in another state (my friend), telling him about my life and about my vacation, etc. Needless to say, they weren't happy at all, and I was forbidden from talking to him ever again. Granted, I was about 21 at the time but when you live with your family and under their rules, there's not much I could do. About two weeks went by before I was allowed to even play online games again or do any kind of online communication outside of applying for jobs and work-related things, and I can honestly say those two weeks were the most painful weeks of my life. While on vacation, I was completely depressed and could not find happiness in anything; I would spontaneously break down in public because of the shame I felt from my family and the pain of losing someone I considered a friend. At the time, I didn't realize how deep my feelings were or how important this man was to me. I only knew I liked him and had a crush on him at the time, not completely in love. I never knew if I would ever speak to him again, and back then, because he and I were just starting out as friends, I didn't have the stronger relationship I have now with God or as much trust in Him. But looking back, I reflect on that pain that I felt over almost losing him and view it as being significant to his role in my life. I've loved and lost before many times (both friends and guys I had romantic interest in but they didn't reciprocate), so it's not a new feeling to me. The strength of this one struck me terribly. And I think because of that, I realized how special he is and know that God has something in store for the two of us. I'm willing to wait however long it takes for God in regards to this, because anything like this from God is worth waiting for. I may have to move on from him being more than a friend if God plans for that, but I think no matter what, I can never move on from being his friend.