BK1110

I would leave that up to the "professionals," so to speak. We can certainly give our testimony, but unless Bible scholarship has been an area of particular and heavy focus and gifting for us, it's unlikely we'll be able to do much good in a protracted conversation on the subject with someone who is studied in it. I would view the "common" Christian's area of influence to be more with the "common" man, if that makes sense.

It's hard to answer this without knowing any background information, but it sounds like maybe you need to be attending a different church...if you're attending one at all? Find one that strongly teaches the Bible, and has a thriving small group ministry. I can't say I've ever been a part of a church that has discouraged Christian fellowship.

This may be of help. There's certainly no "smoking gun" evidence so to speak, but taking everything as a whole, I believe that attributing it to Matthew makes best sense of the total body of evidence and logic: https://crossexamined.org/wrote-gospel-matthew/

Marrying a woman who had multiple divorces previously would (should) disqualify someone from being pastor, especially one you go to for marriage counseling, in the first place, before you even get to talking about being a sociopath.

Set aside time each day. You would be surprised what just 10-15 minutes can accomplish in this regard. Might I suggest the "Look at the Book" section of videos on the Desiring God youtube channel? Each video is 10-15 minutes long and it is a huge blessing to me. Memorization is also important. I use BibleMemory dot com. Again, just 10-15 minutes a day and before you know it, you will see changes and be better prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.

Praying as well, we hope to hear from you again!

It doesn't outright call it symbolic, but it seems clear that's it's meant to be understood that way as an outward declaration of and inward change in your heart.

Real dedication. I think a lot of people, especially young ones, do it to kind of fit in, almost as a social thing. They almost view it as some kind of rite of passage to fit in. There needs to be a real hunger to see people won to Christ, and a willingness to pay great costs to see it done.

I am praying for you. God is sovereign over everything, including pain. This means all pain and suffering you experience has a purpose behind it! Sometimes correction, sometimes personal growth, sometimes increasing faith, sometimes gaining wisdom with which to minister to others, and more. Ask God to take it from you if it is his will. But also ask him to use it as he sees fit to grow and strengthen you and those around you. Ask him to help you endure it and trust in him throughout it. Ask him to increase your thankfulness for every good thing he provides to you in the midst of the bad; even simple things like breath and water and food, glorify him for those things.

God awakened my heart in July 2016 to the fact that I was lost and he saved me, Glory to God! I was and am physically disabled, so I cannot attend local, in-person church. Worthy was the first online group that came up in a search, and after looking around I realized it was a good place to get involved. It's been a slow process to do so but I'm working on it. I know what you mean about being a little overwhelmed by the big, heady discussions. Massive posts with tons of research that can go on for pages and pages. But that's a good thing for some people, so I'm glad they have a place for that.

It should be noted that our salvation now comes through faith in Jesus alone, but that faith is a real, changing kind of faith, not just a rote acceptance of facts. God knows and judges hearts; surely he knew and could judge the hearts accurately of people before Jesus came, too.

I will be praying for you, sister!

A referral would be a good idea. No degree is nessicary, just the Bible; if your husband hears God's word and will not obey the Lord's commands, I don't see how someone with a degree will change that. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body." -- Ephesians 5:25-30 I'm in my 30s, never been a pastor, never been to seminary, never been to college. It doesn't take fancy training, just knowing and believing and applying God's word. Have your husband read that passage. You know, the preceding two verses are about wives submitting to their husbands, and that's all it is; just to submit. Then you get five long verses about husbands loving their wives to the same degree that Christ Jesus himself loves the church. That is an extremely serious and heavy burden. He's not just to love you, but to love you to the degree of sacrificing his own needs, indeed his own life if nessicary, for you, and to be your spiritual leader and guide, teaching scripture, and modeling his life after Christ. Reading that passage, that much is clear. Can your husband say he is following that order from the Lord as to how he is to lead your household? Does he even care? This is why counseling from a strong, preferably older male Christian who is steeped in the Word of God is so critical. He must be confronted with the sins that clearly have strongholds in his life and heart. We are called to abhor and make war against our sin. Your husband's flippancy about the whole thing is very telling.

You do indeed need counseling from a strong, Godly pastor. If you feel your current pastor is not up to the task, you might need to ask yourself if he is up to the task of leading a congregation. A pastor that cannot give Godly, Biblical counsel to see someone to repentance of sin...is that even a pastor at all?

Then he has admitted essentially that he has given himself over to that sin and is not repentant about it. That level of hard-heartedness absolutely calls one's salvation into question. Again I ask if you have confronted him with how desperate his situation and his failures as a husband and leader of his household are? And it might go without saying but of course pray fervently and daily for God to soften his heart.

A pastor's job is not to be friends with his congregants, but to be their guide and shepherd. Have you told your husband these things? That you are fed up and question his dedication to the Lord, and are having thoughts of divorce? He needs to know how seriously he's damaging your marriage. If he still won't agree, you may need to seek out the pastor's help on your own, hopefully he can approach your husband.

Sounds like the counseling he needs is from a pastor, which shouldn't cost money? Are you guys attending a local church? Does he have male Christian friends who can lovingly rebuke and guide him and hold him accountable?

Realize that God is fully aware of who you are and where your heart is. Simply pray to him, something like "Father, it's my desire to know you and your will and to follow you. I don't understand what that looks like right now though, so I ask that you would grow me and teach me and lead me so that I can follow, love, and glorify you with my life." Then comes Bible study. Every day. God grows us and guides us day to day. It is a slow process. Do not expect to see radical, dramatic change overnight. Each day study the word and pray for wisdom, growth, and understanding. Whether school or work, work hard without cutting corners, working as though you are working directly for God's sake and approval and glory...because you are! If your heart is truly for God, he is pleased with that and will answer your desire to grow closer to him. Trust in that and seek him through his word. If your heart has been changed to truly love and desire him and his guidance, then you are already saved and he will be growing you. "I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God." -- Philippians 1:3-11

A few thoughts: 1. My father showed zero signs of mental illness his entire life. A little over a year ago, in the midst of cancer destroying his body, he had a total breakdown; hallucinations, crippling depression, etc. He's currently at an appointment for it as I type. I would simply say that to caution that you can't say what's going on with her is fake because she seemed normal for so long prior to it. 2. With that said I think you are right. They are both enabling her. My dad did not want treatment. Even now it's a struggle to get him to go to appointments, take meds, or even just move around. He would have literally died from just sitting and wasting away at this point if not for us pushing him along to seek treatment. The husbands are NOT doing her any good by bending to her whims. If her mental illness is real, then she is NOT capable of making fully rational decisions about her own health and may never be. Depression, real clinical depression, is not just "being depressed" from time to time. It is a serious condition that WILL NOT go away on it's own without serious, consistent treatment. And even then it almost never FULLY goes away, but can only be mitigated. If her condition is real, she will NOT get better without help. Period. So then you all need to ask yourselves hard questions. If they really want her to get better, they must stop pandering and enabling. They MUST. This is from someone who is going through it with a family member and has been for a year. It will NOT go away on it's own or with half measures. Things are far from perfect, but dad is relatively normal for large chunks of the day now. In contrast to total apathy, weeping, suicidal tendencies and thoughts, and a general complete lack of ability to function on all levels. Yes, there are side affects and difficulties, but he is significantly improved through his meds and ECT treatments. If we did not push him through that over the last year, he would still be a complete shell of himself. Above all, of course, pray for her daily. And at the end, you have to ask yourself what God's will is. If God is wanting you to intervene, then maybe that's what you must do, even if other family members do not agree.

It sounds like what you mean is you don't know what God's will is for you, correct? That last verse is about God's general will; he wants everyone to see Jesus for who he is. He wants them to recognize that Jesus is his son, to believe in him and trust him for their salvation, to repent and flee from sin, and to desire to live for and glorify God. All those who do will receive eternal life as a free gift. You should pray for God to reveal his specific will to you. And continue studying the Bible daily as well. The Bible is God's word and it is how he speaks to us in every situation in our lives. If you have a job, work hard at that job, as though God was your boss: "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -- Colossians 3:17 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ." -- Colossians 3:23-24 Or perhaps you are a homemaker? "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." -- Ephesians 5:22-24 Without knowing more specifics about you and your situation it's difficult to give good advice. But the Bible holds the answers for your life. Study it daily! May I recommend the Look at the Book section of the Desiring God Youtube channel? Also blueletterbible.org has many commentaries and devotionals that can help.

Not trying to say that anyone acts or consciously thinks that way. But someone gets the glory for it; if it's not God, then isn't it us? And if it's us, then isn't that glorifying ourselves? Isn't that pride, at some level? I guess my question then would be could we have resisted it? If God chose us, could we ever not choose him in return, thereby denying God's providential will in some way? Careless wording, I was in a hurry this morning, I apologize. To be more clear, by "all up to us" I meant "ultimately up to us." Going back to the last point, could God have chosen us but then we decide not to respond and are lost, thereby meaning that our salvation ultimately depends on our decision, meaning God is not in control? And to be clear since speaking by text can make intention unclear, I'm not at all trying to be combative, but just genuinely trying to more fully understand what you believe and why. My Calvinism is something that's only about 2-3 years in the making, so I'm more than willing to hear anything contrary that anyone has to say. "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD." -- Proverbs 16:33

I suppose we could all post a lot of individual verses with no context until the cows come home. Instead I would simply say that God being the one who draws us to Him certainly feels like the overarching truth of the Bible, even though some individual verses or even passages sound like they teach that it's all up to us. Thus the divine mystery. But I would also say that God doesn't get all the glory if we are the ones who saw the truth and made the final choice. And the Bible seems clear that the purpose of this universe and everything and everyone that was, is, and ever will be in it, is for the purpose of glorifying God. Just a thought.

The question I would ask is "why yoga?" Because yoga is from a specific culture and religion. If they're just looking for some kind of exercise/stretching that can be done individually without contact, it does not need to be yoga. Whether or not it is right/wise to raise the same kind of confrontation that atheists do when they attack a coach saying a prayer before a football game etc. is harder to answer. Rather than demand change, perhaps just pen a non-confrontational open letter that addresses your concerns and asks for consideration of them. This could be a way to shed light on an issue that I'm sure almost no one is aware of (the spiritual/occultist roots of yoga are not well-known amongst western people, I'm sure) without coming off as angry or demanding. Meanwhile, though hard, perhaps in the end this opportunity for your kids to see and feel what it really means to be "in the world but not of the world" could be a blessing in their training.

Welcome Zandy! Great to meet people who are willing to be open-minded; too few are. Here's a brief run through that might be a jumping off point (and there are books at the bottom that are referenced which could be good next steps): https://www.namb.net/apologetics/resource/the-moral-argument-for-gods-existence/ John Lennox is a great modern speaker about such issues. Search YouTube for content. He and other apologists like Hugh Ross, J. Warner Wallace and so on touch on it at points in there work as well, though it is not their primary focus. And of course the writings of C.S. Lewis are excellent. And do feel free to hang around this forum and ask questions when you have them! God bless you on your journey to truth!

If anything the pastor should be MORE cautious than anyone else as he is the head of his congregation and is supposed to lead by example. My pastor has mentioned many times during services when preaching about related topics that he and his wife committed early in their marriage and ministry that he would NEVER be alone with ANY woman for ANY reason if at all humanly possible, to nip any possible temptation in the bud immediately, and to not even allow the appearance of any sort of impropriety. If that means he has to miss an appointment or refer her to a well-respected female counselor or whatever else, so be it. To be frank, your pastor's cavalier attitude to the situation, especially if his wife has shared her concerns about it with him and he's not taking it (and her) seriously, is deeply troubling. What else might he be too cavalier about, you have to wonder.