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About bornagain2011

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  • Birthday 01/20/1984

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    Running, Hiking, bible study, ministering, playing with daughters, fun stuff.

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  1. bornagain2011

    Reading God's Word

    I have a few ways I read during the day, first i like to read the bible all the way through (not in 1 day!), so I do that daily reading in the morning and throughout the day and before bed. The next way I read is when I am craving the words of Jesus and want to sit at His feet, I will read from the new testament. This is usually when Im struggling with a reoccurring sin. The third way I read is by studying prophecy. I like to listen to JD Farag and Amir (I can't spell his last name but he created the ministry Behold Israel), and then I will go to the scriptures and study what is happening in there compared to how it is coming to pass right now. Reading the bible has been a struggle for me, I would get very distracted and have to re read passages 4 times, and then give up and go do dishes or something. Or i would start to fall asleep. So now I pray for God to help me focus, and I try to imagine the things in the bible playing out in real life like a movie. I am thinking there might be some attacking from the enemy when I try and read. I became born again in 2011 and have only read through the bible once, now Im in 2nd kings today. Ive gone like 2 months without reading it before. Things go south fast for me when I dont read.
  2. bornagain2011

    Toys R Us is Closing

    I have a car shaped like a toilet. On the underside it says 1997 hotwheels hotseat . my 3 year old loves it!
  3. bornagain2011

    Ezekiel 38 and rapture

    For those who believe in the pretribulation rapture... Do you believe the rapture will be before, during, or after the Ezekiel 38 war, and why? I have been doing a lot of reading from the Bible, reading articles, watching sermons about this topic. I think it could go either way.
  4. bornagain2011

    The U.S. embassy in Isreal

    It's pretty amazing! Do you think the psalm 83 war will be first, then the destruction of damascus, followed by Ezekiel 38?
  5. bornagain2011

    Worldly eating disorder recovery vs. Bible

    Thank you so much for your reply! I have found freedom and deliverance from my eating sins. I learned that as I draw closer to the Lord and renew my mind, my sins lose their hold on me. I didn't believe deliverance was possible and that was part of the problem. I realize now that God isn't interested in helping me fix this problem, but He wants more than that, He wants all of me! He wants a true heart change! I am becoming a different person now. It's been amazing! All because of God!!
  6. bornagain2011

    Worldly eating disorder recovery vs. Bible

    Wow, what an eye opening post! It now seems silly to expect my weight to just magically drop right away. I still have loads of stress. I have three children that I love, my husband works nights, so I am on my own quite a bit. The older two (girls ages 8 and 9) argue a lot, I put my foot down a lot, but each time I have to deal with it builds up more and more stress. I watched a show that talked about how some noises are calming to the brain like music, and some noises are stressors to the brain like sirens or a baby crying, and they are designed to move someone to action. I feel like with all the noise my body is in an almost constant state of fight or flight. I decided I should turn on my Christian music during the day to have something pleasant to listen to, it may even help the mood of the house. I don't sleep enough. My 3 year old climbs into bed with me a few times a week and sleeps horizontally with his feet poking my back. I move him, but he goes right back to it. And my middle child has a hard time sleeping so she comes knocking on my door crying "I can't sleep". So the only nights where I sometimes get good sleep is when my husband is home during the night, or the girls are at their dad's house on the weekend. The other night I got such incredible sleep. I was dreaming such a long dream it felt like it lasted all night long. I slept for 11 hours! From like 9 till 10 am! That never happens! I take melatonin, but it only helps to put me to sleep, not keep me asleep. On days where I have a good run i sleep better. But Im sure my cortisol levels are high. Gandalf, I like how you said that preoccupation with undereating is bondage as well, it feels like that. I would get a high from knowing I could go days, even a month, without eating. I got addicted to the feeling of hunger. And that feeling would actually go away after a few days. But I also got addicted to the control and power. I think that stems from my childhood of abuse where I didn't have control over what happened to me. When I was a baby and toddler i was severely abused and then abandoned. And my adoptive mom didn't really show me love either, she was cold and distant. I learned at a young age that food gave me comfort. And I could control my body. I think subconsciously I used food to keep people away. If I lost my girly figure men wouldn't mess with me anymore, I could be invisible. And even now when I lose weight I start to feel insecure when I get looks. Im thankful that my husband loves me no matter my size. We met when I was at my heaviest. I don't know why, but I feel like being at a lower weight would validate me as a person. I would be taken more seriously. I notice that when I am thin people are genuinely more happy to see me, they look me in the eye and shake my hand, or seem more interested in what I have to say. Maybe it's the way I would seem more confident, or maybe we do judge people based on their looks. Thank you all for your responses! It's given me a lot to think about. Our bodies are so amazing and wonderfully made! They can take a lot of abuse and bounce back to healthy. I will keep trying to seek the lord in this area, and keep busy with my life so Im not tempted to snack. God bless!
  7. I have been off and on a road to disordered eating recovery, and have been doing the online Christian program called Setting Captives Free, and it's been wonderful! But I started to get discouraged with the slow progress and fell back into not eating again for a short time. And now once again Im trying to be healthy. I was looking at some things online to help with recovery. I found some Youtube videos by eating disorder specialists who strongly encourage the person in recovery to eat whatever they want and however much they want without worrying about weight gain. Their theory (and what they said they've seen works) is that after the initial weight gain, which could even cause the person to become obese, they will level out and not binge or crave junk anymore, but they will start to crave healthy foods and lose the weight and become a normal weight. They admit that this isn't always the case and that some people remain obese. They said it is so so important to not restrict yourself at all or else you will relapse and hinder the process. Something about this doesn't sit well with me. First of all, Im already ten pounds into the overweight BMI, despite starving myself before, so why would I want to gain even more weight? Why not just eat healthy most of the time and exercise? Second of all, wouldn't allowing the patient to become obese put them at risk for diabetes,heart disease, depression, etc? And my final point, and this is what raised reg flags; this goes against what the bible has to say about eating. The bible talks about having self restraint with our appetites. I agree, our bodies have a certain wisdom, for example if we are lacking certain minerals or vitamins we will crave certain foods and thing like that, but we don't need to follow every craving our body has. Our flesh desires to satisfy itself. So I just get confused about the two competing worldviews. On one hand you have the world using "science" to say to follow our flesh because it knows how to keep itself healthy, it will eventually crave healthy foods and eventually reach an optimal weight (setpoint theory). On the other hand you have to Bible, which has more logical advice...the more you eat, the more you want to eat. Overeating is called gluttony and becomes an idol. Laziness is called being slothful. So there is certain personal accountability. The world says eating problems are a disease and takes away much of the accountability. The Bible says it's a choice. Amd the choice turns into a habit that feels extremely hard to stop and can feel like an addiction. I think I will start listening to the bible and not the world. I have been gaining the weight I lost back, it's terrifying. But I have to force myself not to starve. I think if I try to just be healthy i don't have to get stuck in the cycle of overeating and then restricting to compensate. Any thoughts? Can anyone else relate? Thank you
  8. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    I got the opportunity yesterday before church to casually bring up the topic with the youth pastor himself. He was talking to my husband and I. He had a toy with him that was used for marvel comic night. I laughed and asked him "where was Jesus in all that? :)" and he said "the lesson was about how we all wear masks and we need Jesus" or something like that. I told him that I was honestly concerned that God wasn't being glorified. He said they've had a few kids believe in Jesus and other kids are bringing their friends because of these fun theme nights. I mentioned Disney Frozen themes awana night, he wasn't sure what I was talking about, but I reminded him it was on the calander. I asked him if he knew what the movie was about (he does because his wife does parties as elsa for people as a side business), I asked him how witchcraft and magic glorified Jesus? He said it brings the kids in and gets them excited. So I guess, his belief is anything that gets them in. Because just the Gospel isn't good enough. He said we will be doing pacman night coming up, with neon colors and dark lights etc. I felt a little bad because he was getting uncomfortable and sort of walked away. But it was mostly lighthearted. At least he knows how some of us feel about it. Hopefully he takes it to heart...but he probably won't. Hes had complaints and suggestions before and hasn't changed in his 10 years of ministry. He will be putting on another Christian rave event soon. Its an event where the teens dance with blacklights and rap music etc. Its very secular. I went to one last year that was at the ministry i volunteer at, I felt like leaving. I put on a Christian rap song and the kiss stopped dancing. I was such a stick in the mud. But I wasn't the only one. 2 other workers were just standing there with me not dancing. I think I just need to distance myself from all this.
  9. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    Thank you Deb, I called Deb from Northwest ministries. Im so glad I did! She said my concerns were legitimate and she understands. I told her the facts, which are the things I've personally seen, and I tried to stay away from talking about the youth minister's character. I did say some things he has done, like lost his temper with his children and wife at church. I told her that I would just like to see him reading his Bible and growing in Christ. We are concerned about him. And concerned about the children he is teaching. She had lots of advice for me, and she told me to be courageous. She shared a lot of scripture, one of them being how iron sharpens iron. I shouldn't be afraid of how they take it because I will telling the truth in love. So she advised we talk to our senior pastor and see what he has to say about this. I still have a lot of doubts like who am I to come in there and tell them how to do their job? What if Im just stirring up conflict and strife? What if they see me as a drama maker? I feel like I've already complained too much and this would be seen as a campaign to ruin the youth pastor. And what if this is the enemy wanting me to stir up trouble and divide the church? I know it seems silly but these are my concerns. Deb helped me with these thoughts by using scripture. I just have to keep using it. I better get going. Thank you everyone for praying for me. I feel like Im making such a big deal about this.
  10. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    He went to word of life in new York, and also Tennessee temple. I found a couple from Baptist Network Northwest, their names are Pete and Debt Steel.They have been to our church before. They help the churches with conflict and growth. I've been wanting to contact them for a little while. But now I have even more confidence because of mounting apostasy in our church. The only thing that makes me nervous is that he is really involved in training and counseling youth minister, which could be good, or bad. Please pray for me!! I think I might be giving them a call.
  11. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    It seems like a lot of immaturity and foolishness being allowed, not just games. And yes, there is about 10 minutes of lesson sprinkled in somewhere. Im not sure how I would begin addressing this. Not sure who I would talk to. And I feel like I would be standing alone. Which I guess would be fine, but it makes me second guess whether my worries are legitimate. I feel convicted now about being in our church's youth ministry, but I need to at least finish out this year. I think.
  12. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    BK, I will watch that video as soon as I can. I watched a documentary about the topic it was called Divided. I shared it on Facebook. I've been watching some videos and reading some articles about the flaws with having youth ministry. I think from now on i will keep my older girls with me for church. They need to get used to sitting in church. I may even keep our 3 year old with us as well. Deb, People have spoken to the senior pastor and youth pastor about these things. I will as well. The youth pastor has expressed concern that several teens have left our church to join another one. He needs to know why. Some teens can't handle his large personality, and some parents have pulled their teens out because of the immaturity of the youth group. So right now Im like, "well, do i stay and try to help? Or do i move on? Or do I stay and be completely disconnected from youth ministry?" Yesterday I was thinking about all of these things when it kind of dawned on me, I thought of a new model for our church. Instead of Sunday school being split up where youth go downstairs etc, why not have all females upstairs, and all males downstairs. The women can disciple and lead the younger ones and the older men can do the same for the younger men and boys. We could teach the girls life skills etc. This seems biblical. And then during service all families cam be together. And instead of a twice a week youth thing, we could do family bible studies at church. .maybe every Wednesday we can split into groups of 3 families together to study scripture. This would greatly help our financial stress. We wouldn't have to pay for expensive youth programs etc. And it would bring families together. When teens and children are separated from their parents it creates a subculture where immaturity and childishness is allowed to continue. They need to be integrated back into the church as a family. I am excited to share my ideas with the pastor, but hesitant because I don't want them to think Im jumping in and telling them how to run things. Is the youth pastor saved? I wonder sometimes. But I think he is very backsliden. He has admitted as a joke that he only reads his bible when he is forced to give a sermon. Sometimes he will say things that make me believe he is truly saved, and he sometimes gets emotional about the things of God. But he is narcissistic and fleshly. He almost lost his job last year due to budgeting. We almost couldn't afford him anymore. I don't want him to lose his job, I want to see him grow and change. My husband and I care about him, but he needs to understand how his actions and how he runs the ministry is failing kids and driving people away from the church.
  13. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    Thank you Justin. I have a feeling that if I were to confront the situation I would be going it alone. I know some of the older people in the church don't like what is going on in youth ministry, but they aren't really involved in it either. Its like people become desensitized to what's going on, it just becomes normal. I bet it was also normal for the money changers to be at the temple, some people probably thought it was messed up. But Jesus went in there flipping tables. He was angry. And im a bit angry about this as well. The leaders are turning the church into a club or hangout place where kids do whatever they want. I have been gathering some evidence before I confront the leaders. I don't want to go to them with nothing. I took some screenshots of last summer at Christian camp when they painted their faces like zombies. I couldn't find the post where the youth leader boasted about drinking while at camp. I was thinking about confronting the leaders if we have an Awana meeting on Tuesday. We don't ever have meetings, but I suggested to the youth pastor that we start having a meeting before club begins so we can share ideas or talk about things needing improved. He said that was a good idea, but that's usually what he says but never follows through. We will see. Its hard to not make this about him and his character, im trying to focus on his actions instead. But it's hard. His actions show his heart. He throws fits at his kids, he is rude to his wife and fights with her infront of people, he makes crude jokes, there is so much more. But then it becomes gossip. Several people have complained about him to the senior pastor, and the deacons have discussed letting him go. The hard thing is he is a friend to a lot of them, it would be hard to see him get fired and lose that income. But I think the souls of the teens and children are more important.
  14. bornagain2011

    Worldliness in youth ministry

    It feels like the youth pastor isn't trusting in the power of the Holy Spirit to bring people in. It's like he thinks if we don't have angry birds VBS or other worldly things people won't be interested, they would be bored and leave. He actually comes from a church that believes you choose God first and then He sends the Holy Spirit, and it shows in his ministry, like it's up to him to bring them in. I was doing some reading online about different alternatives to youth ministry. Some churches just have the kids with their parents. And some churches do more of a discipleship or Bible study with the youth. I was reading also about how youth ministry keeps teens in the child thinking mode with all the games and immaturity. I think what the teens need is discipleship training. The women mentoring the young females, and the men mentoring the young males. I wonder how God can use me at this church? First i need to confront the situation and show how there is error with what they are doing.
  15. I have a problem with my church, Im not sure whether Im overreacting or not. We started awana club recently and I was really excited to be a cubbies leader. I still am. But our youth pastor and his wife have been allowing worldliness into the ministry. For example they had a superhero themed night last week where they dressed as super heroes, and all the games were superhero themed, and all the food. It was so over the top. I saw this on Facebook and was thinking "where is the Gospel?". And coming up they are doing a Disney Frozen night and a football team night where you wear your favorite team gear. I feel like our church is trying to lure kids in by trying to fit in with the world. And anyone who says anything negative gets made fun of behind their backs. I've seen this before. Several families have left our church because of our youth pastor's immaturity. And he has been confronted several times. I think we are changing churches. But Im not sure what else to do. I feel like I need to stay in awana this year because they might not be able to find a replacement for me, and I really care about these kids. Should I confront the youth pastor and his wife and just say I don't think we should be mixing wordliness with ministry? Am I overreacting? There are way way more examples. During youth camp last summer the youth pastor went out for a drink for lunch and then came back to teach camp some more and he boasted about this on Facebook. He also takes selfies of himself because hes getting into shape. How can a youth pastor be so worldly? I haven't been a Christian for very long so I don't know how else they should be. I understand they should be able to relate to the kids etc. But it seems like he wants to be their buddy too much. I don't want to just gossip about him, but I don't know how to voice my concern without seeming like a gossip. What should I do? How can we help him?