GerdaHannah

thankyou depb. I read it, and I have my son checked for autism as well. There was a brief period in between when he was confused about pronouns (For e.g. if I ask him 'do you want water', he would say 'you want water'). I asked his family doctor / paediatrician. The doctor said some kids learn language by repeating, and told me to correct his language. The language problem went away in about a month, and he doesn't meet any other criteria for autism. I got him checked for ADHD as well, as he is an active kid. The doctor told me to give him lots of movement breaks. The doctor said he expects little kids to be very 'movement oriented' till they are 7, and we can reevaluate if needed when he turns 7. The doctor sees no red flags as of now. I know we spoke about looking for a different church for a long time, I will take it seriously and look out for other churches with a good kids program.

Hi, I need some guidance on what to do when a child (5 year old) is being isolated in church. I will list the incidents that happened, I will be grateful for any advice you can give. On Sunday, there was Easter practice for a song. The Pastor's wife said my son is being disruptive, put him alone in a room without supervision, and did not inform me about him being alone. All other kids were brought to their parents, but only he was left alone in the room. He is five, and was understandably screaming when I rushed to pick him up as soon as I came to know. I kept asking her where my child was, but she kept asking me to wait. We live in Toronto, and leaving a child that young all alone in an unknown building is not allowed - even in school and at home because it is actually a physical danger to the child. This is not an isolated incident, but the first time the child has been in actual physical danger. 1. When I asked the Pastor's wife why she left him alone, she said she is trying to discipline him. 2. She is always interfering about how I parent my child. For instance, my son was seated on my lap after this incident and he was really scared I will leave him alone. The Pastor's wife came up and kept ordering him to sit next to me. She again said she is disciplining him. 3. Last year, she told me on the phone that she thought he has a mental health issue. There have been multiple other minor incidents around Christmas as well. I want to speak up this time, because her behaviour is escalating. It has gone from constant verbal battering to actually physically isolating the child now. I will be talking about this to the Pastor this Sunday, but I do not expect real action. The Pastor is not a very strong man. Other people in church are nice to us, but I do not think they will speak up against this. It is Pentecostal church, and belongs to Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada. What are my options? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- EDIT:::: Thank you everyone for your response. Adding a few details in response to the questions: The child is not autistic, and we generally do not have disruptive reports from school and his Gymnastics class. My son is not a perfect child, he does say ‘no’ to grown-ups sometimes, and wants to play all the time. I did not see what happened during Easter song practice, so I did explain to my son firmly that listening to grownups is non-negotiable. But even if he was troublesome, I think isolating *any* child room in an unknown place is not acceptable. I will look for another church, and explain what happened to the Pastor and elders of the church before I leave.

Hi Neighbour, The trouble here is that we practice Christianity/prayer/love for Jesus at home, we just cannot get baptized due to a lot of other troubles. I wanted my son to have the exposure to prayer and faith at school also. In contrast, my Catholic friends do not even pray. But because they have the baptism certificate, their kids get in. I would have been okay with being rejected if they had spoken to us, even over phone and asked us if we intended to have a similar prayer atmosphere at home. We were rejected right off the bat just because we were not baptized. Whereas my friends kids who just had a non-practising Catholic parent got in. I am not blaming their intent - they want people who are truly invested in Christ. I am only questioning their methods - deciding to take a student in based on a piece of paper instead of finding out if the family truly worships the Lord doesn't seem ok to me.

Thankyou teddy, unfortunately I cannot afford the fees. Maybe someday if my son qualifies for a scholarship, we will get in.

Hi, I had to deal with yet another setback today. I live in Toronto with my son, and we have 2 types of school here - regular public school and Catholic public school. I tried to get my son into Catholic Public School so that he will have exposure to prayer and have a faith based education. Turns out, one of the parents or the child has to be Catholic, and I cannot convert to one because my son will be taken away. And I do not want to be coerced into converting anyway, because a piece of paper doesn't decide my relationship with God. I am pretty upset and angry. I have Catholic friends who do not even pray and are completely worldly, and their kids get a chance at a faith based education, but my son won't. I am almost tempted to give up Christianity altogether if this is the way people are. I am doing everything I can to join a good group of Christians, but everywhere we go, we get kicked out. I do not know how much more I can take being excluded before giving up religion altogether. Thanks, GerdaHannah

Hi, I am a single mom. I have a lot of issues going on in my life - son's health, not a lot of money, no emotional support etc. I find myself praying all the time - a good thing, except that I am scared to focus on anything else, even work. I am scared that if I stop praying, God will not deal with my problems and bless me. I don't know how to fully explain it - I somehow feel that unless I am constantly petitioning God, He will not bless me and my son. How do I overcome this? What I really want to do is tell God something like - 'Lord, I have focus on work right now. Please take care of me and my son, I will pray again once I have finished my work'. I am unable to do this for two reasons - one is I am hardly able to fully focus because there is constant noise around me. Two is even if I manage to focus and pray, I do not completely believe God will take care. ((In hindsight, I realise my decisions were wrong. Marriage is not for me. I would have been much happier with God and a job. But now that I've a son, I have to take up the responsibility.)) Thanks GerdaHannah

Yes debp. That is what happened. When I asked for child support, both the lawyer+spouse said you ask for child support, but you won't give child custody. Ultimately I gave up and said I did not want child support, but my spouse can meet my son once a week in my presence. I checked in Canada as well, and it's the same. Everyone pushes for 50 50 custody.

@Debp Raise your child as you wish in the Lord. I wish there was a scripture that stated this, it would clear up so much of confusion. please continue praying for my ex spouse to convert, and for my son's health. What he has missed in his womb, let him grow and make up outside.

I had a small win on Saturday. I mentioned in passing to my ex spouse that my son and I go to church (so that my son can take part in activities). He did not say anything, and thankfully did not forbid me. Please pray that he must convert to Christianity. That way,no matter where we are, my son and I can serve the Lord.

Thankyou, that is very practical advice. 1) I do not need my ex spouse permission (even in things concerning my son). - Is there a Bible verse that supports this? 2) if I keep my faith (and my son's faith) in the Lord a secret, is it a sin?

I wish I could stay here 😔. Unfortunately the health system is overburdened here, and my son is not getting the care he needs. He needs to meet a lot of specialists, but hasn't met anyone yet. We cannot pay to get care either because health care is fully government funded. Is there a verse that says I need not obey my spouse even in things concerning my son? If so, I would be so relieved. Does he not need to know about my son eating meat or being a Christian? Does my ex spouse have authority over my son?

I wish I could stay here. Unfortunately, the Canadian health system is under a lot of stress right now with very few doctors. It is fully government funded, and there is no parallel private practice, so I cannot even pay for the private care. My son recently got the flu + penumonia, and we got emergency care only after his oxygen levels dropped and he couldn't breathe. Aso, the courts here push for 50-50 custody. I've spoken to an attorney here, and they said that since my ex spouse did not directly harm the child, he is eligible for custody. Nothing he did against me, or even interfering in my son's diet counts since it is his 'right'. Even in India, my spouse let me get custody only because I have up child support. All that said, I mentioned to my spouse that we go to church for a few activities. Either he overlooked it or did not hear, but he did not forbid me. So that is a win for now. Please, if you find time, pray for his conversion to Christianity. That way,no matter where my son and I live, we can serve the Lord.

My spouse has done worse things than restricting my son's diet. He took my money and hasn't given it back yet, he tried to hit my mom, he threatened me with a knife. Unfortunately all this counts against custody only if he has directly harmed the child, which he is too smart to do. As for eating meat, padeatricians never insist on eating meat - they even say the child can be a vegan (not eat even milk products). The problem is if my son eats meat, he has a wider range of foods to choose from, so he eats better. If it is just vegetarian food, he has a smaller variety, so he eats less and his health doesn't improve.

Yes, he was iugr + premature+ low birth weight mainly because I was stressed out and malnourished during pregnancy. My spouse forbid me eating meat, even eggs. I could not keep any vegetarian food down.

Yes, my lawyer told me, and I've also done reading online to confirm. I also am scared of telling him, because if he forbids me to give my son meat or not teach him Christianity, it will be a direct disobedience. Please pray for me - it will really help. All I want is to do God's will and bring up my son as a man of God.