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Found 13 results

  1. My husband has struggled with porn since before marriage and continues in the cycle of me finding out, asking him, him lying until he realizes I’ve seen, then confessing and apologizing saying he won’t do it again. I always forgive and offer to support him if he’ll just be honest about it. This time it seems the content has gotten worse and he’s consistently searching for things about incest like brother/ sister, mother/son, father/daughter, and we have 3 young kids at home. With 1 being a daughter this really frightens me. Should I be worried about their safety if this type of porn is what interests him? What should I do? I’m not even sure how to approach this anymore as each time seems to escalate and him just finding better ways to hide it. I wish we could afford counseling but can’t. And I’ve asked him about going but he says no. How should I handle this?
  2. Hi my name is Micki. Can you please pray for my husband Brian... I pray that he would want to come home.. He cheated and left me at the beginning of 2018 for our teenage girl next door that he only knew for a few weeks. We were together for 6 year and only had been married for 4 months before this happened. No fights between us nothing before this happened. Idk what changed in him he isnt the type to do this kind of stuff. I have also been dealing with cancer while going through this at the same time. I juse finished up chemo and radiation treatments. And reached out to Brian in October. We have only just now slowly started talking again. I just pray that God would be with him and that he would want to come back home to me and want to rebuild our family and marriage again. I do forgive him and I do love him unconditionally. It just breaks my heart so much. I just pray so hard that God could get through to him. I know only God can. I pray that Brian could find Jesus and have a relationship with him. I know Brian is an amazing man, he jas just made some mistakes the same as we all do. I know God as a plan for his life.
  3. I have been married for over 7 years now and will be celebrating my anniversary next week alone because my husband is in another country working. The relationship is not the same, we hardly talk on the phone like other couples. Mostly through watsapp messages we will communicate. I want to travel to another country to look for work because he don't want me to come in the same country as him because he said he don't plan on staying in the country working forever. He said he will come back soon. I feel that going to another country will clear my mind and I would focus more on doing God's work. Need to make the right decision especially since I may want to start over.
  4. Holly Joy

    Hospital Bed

    Full of thankfulness today. My husband is an invalid. Yesterday his hospital bed made funny noise, quit working and looked bent. Supplier was able to respond in one day and it turned out to be only a bolt that had fallen out. He replaced it and checked all the other bolts in a few minutes. I was afraid it was going to be a huge deal and that they would try to bill me even though it is new bed. Praise the Lord for being so good to us. He truly blessed us according to His riches in Glory
  5. My husband's job contract runs out end of March. Please pray the Lord gives him a new job! Thank you. ❤
  6. So, hello everyone. Sharing something personal, so here goes... I've been married 18 months and I am realising that I'm married to a man who lacks communication skills. Don't know how other husbands are... But he doesn't talk much with me even after I've requested that I need him to talk with me more (and I plan dates etc to make this happen but still even there he'll be silent). He makes no effort with things that make me happy like he's never bought me flowers, never randomly text or called, hasn't initiated quality time and dates etc. He has stopped initiating and making effort. I feel he's going through something and I ask him if anything is bothering him but he says no. I know there's some tension due to a work issue but we are managing well. What advice can you give? PS... we are Christians and go to church.
  7. The past few days have been a bunch of small things that can easily have been fixed. my husband refuses to talk about things and it is like pulling teeth to get any of his feelings out of him. I told him i need him to communicate things with me so we can both work on things together. he thinks im trying to change him and that's just "how he is." which i explained is not true. it's a behavior things. how can we work on this? he went to bed still angry at me. I know in the Bible it talks about if someone becomes angry do not go to bed angry. So it really hurt me that he did. He's told me before that he just likes to be angry sometimes and he can't just get over it even after the problem has been dealt with. Please pray for our relationship. We just got married this December.
  8. My husband is addicted to porn. Has been all his life. We’ve been married for 26 years and I have been dealing with it. I don’t think I can do this anymore.
  9. Me and my wife eloped 5 years ago in our kitchen. We were new in our faith and got married because of God but technically not under God. We had a woman marry us so it was all very quick and unformal. Now we always agreed to have an actual wedding but we have tried planning and failed to complete everything for the 3rd time this year since we 1st tried in 2013. This time around we have already put a deposit on a venue and have already paid in full on everything except for cake, photographer and DJ. My best man had a very intimate wedding with his wife at our old church building. He believes that we shouldn't spend the money on our wedding and that we should do something small and intimate to Glorify God like he did. Of course hearing this hurts but I understand here he coming from. However I cant shake the fact that everyone else I know except for 1 other couple had a large formal wedding and got married in faith. I feel like we are being robbed of our moment but I dont want to be vain and get married just because, I want to have something nice to look back on. I don't see the issue but maybe it's my flesh talking. I need advice and prayer because I'm starting to feel depressed about the situation. Could it be jealousy or are we really dishonoring the Lord by have a "large" wedding?
  10. My husband and I have been married for almost two years. He is a wonderful Christain man. He loves giving back to the church, dedicating himself to helping family and church family, he is hard working, and so much more. When we first met I immediately knew he was different than most people and that he processes things differently. It is very difficult for him to put himself in someone else's shoes, or understand that others interpret situations differently than he does. There is no ill-will towards anyone, he just cannot empathize well and often misinterprets or misses nuances of meaning. I know this and try to adjust my interactions with him accordingly, but I feel like effective communication is always a struggle. I want to find a better way to communicate with him and to help our marriage grow. When I tell him that I want to connect more and grow our marriage he becomes offended and interprets it as me saying he is a bad husband and our relationship is terrible, which is not the case. When I try to clarify my meaning he shuts down or becomes angry. I have attempted to follow advice saying to dedicate myself to biblical wifely duties and pray that he will become more active and open to growing our marriage. However, it seems the more I dedicate myself to selflessly serving him the more he takes for granted what I do and the more he begins to expect it. If I fail or forget something, like washing his undershirts, he rebukes me as if I am a child that has misbehaved. When I try to tell him how I feel he shuts down or gets upset. So I have tried to be more subtle. I asked if we could start reading the bible together and praying before bed, but again he interpreted it as me saying our marriage is terrible. It isn't terrible, far from it, but before we have children I feel that we need to be able to work better as a team, communicate more effectively, and have a more Christ-centered relationship. Prayers and advice would be greatly appreciated.
  11. Any guys up for a Love Your Wife Better Challenge in October? I'm thinking our daily goal would be to PREEP: 1) Pray for {your wife and marriage} 2) Read {the Bible} 3) Engage {your spouse} 4) Connect {with other men} 5) Pray with {your spouse} “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” ― John Eldredge, Wild at Heart John 13:34-35 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Here are the daily engagement challenges I’m thinking of... Day 1. Ask her: How can I help you today (or this week)? Day 2. Go a whole day without correcting your spouse. Speak Life! Day 3. Hug your spouse 3-5 times today. Day 4. Kiss your spouse the first time you see them in the morning. Tell her she is beautiful and that you love her. Day 5. Give 3 reasons you appreciate your spouse. Say: “I appreciate you because __________________, _______________________, and _____________________ . Day 6. Write your spouse a hand-written or typed up letter. It can be as long or short as you’d like. Mail it off today so they get it hopefully no later than next week. Day 7. Determine what your spouse’s primary love languages are today: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Acts of Service. This is how your spouse likes to receive love. Day 8. Since yesterday you determined what your spouses’ primary love language(s) are, use this information to do something for them today. Day 9. Plan a surprise date with your wife for later on this month. Doesn’t have to be expensive. If money is tight free dates or inexpensive dates are good too. If you want to go even further plan a romantic getaway this year or early next year. Day 10. Turn off all electronics and spend at least 30 minutes to one hour talking on the couch/bed. Try to really listen to your spouse and ask engaging questions. Day 11. Watch your spouse’s favorite movie, sport, or TV show today without interrupting. No mocking or negative comments. Note: This is HER favorite not yours. Day 12. Today focus on being patient with your spouse. Day 13. Three times today say: “I love you because ___________________ “ Describe something about her character, intellect, actions, physical beauty, or personhood in Christ. Day 14. Leave your spouse a note before work. Day 15. Today focus on being kind to your spouse. Day 16. Thank your spouse today for 3 specific things: ____________, _____________, and ____________ . Day 17. Build your spouse up today by complimenting your spouse in front of your children, relatives, or friends. Feel free to compliment her more than once! Day 18. Ask your spouse’s opinion on a subject that interests him or her. Turn off all electronics, remove all distractions, sit on the couch/bed, and engage her for 30 minutes to an hour. Day 19. Bring your spouse some flowers, a token gift, or their favorite dessert. Day 20. Spend some extra time praying together. It can be an extra 5-10 minutes. Or it could be more if you are so led. Day 21. Choose one: Do the dishes, do the laundry, gather the trash, or do some other chore for your spouse today without complaining and without them asking. See a need and fill a need. Day 22. Spend 10-30 minutes reading the Bible together. Or it could be more if you are so led. Day 23. Today determine to speak softly and avoid getting angry with your spouse. Day 24. Give your spouse a massage. Day 25. Today get out your wedding album to look through pictures, watch your wedding on video, or take time to think back to your wedding day with your spouse. What were your wedding vows? Day 26. Ask your spouse what are 2-3 of their goals or dreams for this year and/or next year. Day 27. Ask your spouse: “Where do you see us 10 years from now?” Day 28. Go on a date this weekend that you planned earlier this month. It can be at home or out some place. It can be free or it can cost a pretty penny. Put some thought into it based on the preferences of your wife. Day 29. Talk to your spouse about their favorite things. Think for example heroes, authors, books, or activities. Day 30. Talk about finances with your spouse. Ask her to review your budget together, make a few changes, and revisit your giving together. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation maybe 5-20 minutes. Day 31. Talk to your spouse about a place they would like to visit someday. Since October has 31 days I added another one. Feel free to provide feedback or to suggest days to be switched around or challenges to be replaced. What are your thoughts? God bless, GE
  12. Greetings All, This discussion will be between Shiloh357 and Butero regarding the authority of the husband in the home. Please be cognizant of the fact that this forum is specifically designed for one on one discussions between only the two members involved. If you are not Shiloh357 or Butero, please do not, under any circumstances, post in this thread.
  13. I read this today and wanted to share. I hope it touches your heart and reminds you to thank God daily for your spouse. God bless! Confessions of a Young Widow: The Little Things I Miss About Being Married Sometimes it’s the silly things that most couples probably take for granted that I miss the most about my husband. by Sabrina Beasley Not long ago, I was in a discussion group of singles, but there happened to be one young married couple in the mix. Having been widowed for a couple of years now, I love to watch how husbands and wives interact. Their behaviors are slight, yet they speak a thousand words. For example, as the young man shared his stories he would look to his wife regularly to seek her approval about the details. She smiled at him and nodded. They made eye contact in a deeper way. They sat a little closer to each other than the rest of us. It’s those little gestures that say, “Our lives are one. The togetherness is so special, so safe.” You would think romantic dinner dates and kissing scenes in the movies were fodder for sadness to a young widow. Although I miss those aspects, too, it’s the subtle things that bring me to tears. How many times have I been fuzzy on the details of a story or forgotten the name of a movie or restaurant or company, and there was no one to ask? I knew David would have known. When I saw the way this couple interacted like a well-played duet, I couldn’t help but long for what I had lost. I started thinking of all the things I miss—the little things that most people probably take for granted and don’t realize are blessings—and came up with a quick list. I miss “man clutter.” A dirty sock here or there, the toilet seat up, dishes on the counter—all of the little things that can frustrate a wife until she is fuming. But each of these annoying habits is also a symbol of life. A living breathing human is moving and giving and taking, leaving “laughter in the walls.” The man clutter means there is masculinity added to the home, giving balance to the femininity. Like too much sugar, a house that is devoid of masculinity can be almost too sweet. As much as it annoyed me at the time, now I see that housekeeping is a small price to pay for what you gain. I miss having someone to cook for and eat with. My children are so small that they aren’t interested in roasted meats or casseroles. And even if they were, their combined consumed portion would hardly justify making any. Most of it would just end up in the freezer (or attached to my hips). So we eat a lot of small easy meals, like sandwiches, hot dogs, fresh fruits and vegetables, anything that can be thrown together quickly. You might wonder, Why are you complaining about that? I hate cooking! I’m not much of a chef myself, honestly. But I do miss the sense of accomplishment that I felt when David complimented a dish and asked to have it again soon. Or when he insisted that I make a certain casserole once a week, even volunteering to cut up the onions for me so he could eat it more often. Cooking a meal gave me a sense of accomplishment and instant positive feedback. I don't get that a lot from my kids. Along with that comes the family dinner time. I attempt to sit my two kids and me at the table for our meals, but preschoolers don’t do mealtime very well. Their sole purpose for food is energy, and when they are done refueling they are ready to get up and go! So I end up sitting alone to eat while they play together. I miss a man’s juvenile behavior. The other day a friend was telling me how she bought an outdoor waterslide for her kids so they would be occupied while she worked on some preparations for a big party. She thought her husband would set it up and then come inside to help her while the kids played, but instead, he spent the entire day playing on the slide with the kids. It used to bother me when I felt like I was doing all the work, and David was just playing. Now, I wish I had someone to lighten me up! I’m still doing all the work, and there is no one to encourage me to stop. Even the kids suffer. If their dad’s juvenile behavior was still here, they would have someone to go down the tall slides with, jump in the cold swimming pool with, take them out in the backyard while I cook, wrestle on the floor, and teach them how to take risks. I do it out of obligation, trying to be a good mother, but he would have done it because it was fun. I miss having someone to disagree with me. I think I make better decisions when I have someone to talk things over with. When there is an opposing opinion, it makes me think about why I feel the way I do about an issue. It either strengthens my resolve or helps me see the way to a better solution. Either way, someone to disagree with is a valuable commodity, especially when it’s a person who also cares about my children, finances, and spiritual life as a family as much as I do. I miss the molding that comes from the give and take of life with a husband. We humans are like lumps of clay. We require constant kneading to make us pliable and fit for the potter’s wheel, because without it we can dry up and harden and become useless. It makes our edges smooth and our hearts soft. As a married woman, I had someone there in my life providing that service daily, and now I must seek it out like seeking a dentist to pull a bad tooth. It’s hard. Even with as much support as I have received (and it has been amazing), it’s still difficult to be vulnerable and share my burdens with someone other than a spouse. Just this week I felt there was an area in my life where I really needed some loving criticism and feedback. In the past, I could sit on the couch with David at the end of a hard day or week and talk it over with him. When I was wrong, he would call me out, encourage me to change, and remind me that I needed to do better next time. But then he would help me realize that it wasn’t the end of the world. “It will be okay,” he would say, and I believed him. And when I was right, he would take my side and become my cheerleader, encouraging me not to back down from the truth that was worth fighting for. But no matter if I was right or wrong, he was there to love me. He would always love me. Those are just a few examples of the overlooked blessings of marriage. There are so many more! But this isn’t meant to be a weeping letter of self-pity. Rather it’s meant to be an encouragement to all of you wives out there who are having a hard time seeing past the little annoying things your husband might be doing. There is a reason that God made men and women different. The attraction can turn into disdain so easily. But take it from someone who no longer faces these annoyances: Don’t let yourself forget what’s good in your husband and your marriage. And if you are dealing with any pent up anger or vindictiveness, let me encourage you, if at all possible, to let it go. Not only will it destroy your marriage, it will also poison your heart. Bitterness is like a knife meant for another that slices the one who is carrying it. Look for the good in your spouse—you cannot expect perfection, no matter who you are married to. It’s so easy to get caught up in what a husband “always” does wrong. I remember how many times I did. And, oh, how I wish I had it all back. It wouldn’t be a burden for me at all the second time.
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