Other PK's, PW's [or Pastors] here?

[ThePastorsWife]

Curious how being a PK or PW affected your faith. What has been the most difficult part of your experience? Did you feel obligated, even pressured, to play the part? Did you fail or succeed at it?

And, of course, I'm curious how many of us there are here!

[BFP]

I'm a preachers daughter. Not a pastors daughter, but a preachers, and there IS a big difference. Pastors are more like the softer of the epostles, they are social and they are sheppards. Preachers are a different breed all together, they are much like the eposle Paul. Being raised by Paul is not a pleasant experience, it's kind of like "his way or the highway"...much more condemnation than forgiveness:>) As a kid it wasn't fun, actually it still isn't in alot of ways but I understand him more as I age.

I grew up with an unending sense of guilt over any and every little thing, and my perception of God has always been that he is just waiting for me to do something wrong so he can strike me down. As kids we were expected to be perfect. Seen and not heard. Always the 'best behaved' in the church or else we were taken out to the car for a real whooping. I have panic attacks when i go to church to this day...don't sneeze, don't cough, don't talk when the pastor is talking. Make sure you close your eyes when you pray...and DON"T take your eyes off the preacher. You are supposed to be listening intensly and learning. And when you leave church and light that cigarette in the car feel very very guilty. If you think any unedifying thoughts of anyone in the congregation while you are sitting there, feel very, very, guilty.

I can say however that it wasn't all in vain:>) I left my childhood beliefs for some time, and learned the hard way that there is a TRUE God and that He can deal with anything in your life. I have since come back to Him and I am grateful that I had an upbringing that did include Him or I think I may have gotten totally lost:>)

Yes, I am a very imperfect preachers daughter, but I do have a belief in God. Until recently I had a very crippling FEAR of God, which I have been working on. One thing I do have to say though, whenever I need a particular verse for anything they pop into my mind before I have time to think of anything else:>)

[riel]

Curious how being a PK or PW affected your faith. What has been the most difficult part of your experience? Did you feel obligated, even pressured, to play the part? Did you fail or succeed at it?

And, of course, I'm curious how many of us there are here!

Can't relate to that as I was raised Catholic until I realized that I had been saved and felt led to leave the C. church. I think the salvation occurred when I was five but never heard about a personal saviour until I went to a Baptist Church during my late teens. Thank you, Papa, for the Baptists, but I know that He uses all denomination to accomplish His purposes.

Edited April 19, 2009 by riel

[ThePastorsWife]

I know about that looking perfect thing. At first I really resented it, but since then I've come to the realization (suggested to me by another PW) that the church hired him not me. But I can believe that til the cows come home... I still have to behave.

The best thing for me has been running the sound system, power point and videos which, of course, keeps me in the back of the church. I dress in jeans and feel ok about being myself (nose stud and all). I am really blessed, though. Our congregation is older and conservative about some things but they've totally accepted quirky me!

NEVERtheless, I still feel like I have to hide my depression, doubts, and occasionally feeling bad about not being a more traditional PW.

[BFP]

Ahhh,but God puts us all at different places in our lives and it can be really effective. YOU just might be exactly what that church needs to be a "breath of fresh air" for the teens that come in and need guidance. They will be more open to going to you than some stuffy reperesentation of a 'perfect' person.

I had to laugh the other day when I was telling our pastor my 'excuses for not going to church' My latest excuse is that I can't just pretend everything is okay when I go to church so I end up 'spilling it' on someone and then feeling bad...He replied with "Are you kidding, your honesty is like a breath of fresh air...it's terrible that everyone has to try and pretend that everything is perfect when they are in church!

I guess that is true, to some degree isn't it? LOL!

[ThePastorsWife]

Ahhh,but God puts us all at different places in our lives and it can be really effective. YOU just might be exactly what that church needs to be a "breath of fresh air" for the teens that come in and need guidance. They will be more open to going to you than some stuffy reperesentation of a 'perfect' person.

I had to laugh the other day when I was telling our pastor my 'excuses for not going to church' My latest excuse is that I can't just pretend everything is okay when I go to church so I end up 'spilling it' on someone and then feeling bad...He replied with "Are you kidding, your honesty is like a breath of fresh air...it's terrible that everyone has to try and pretend that everything is perfect when they are in church!

I guess that is true, to some degree isn't it? LOL!

Totally true!

[stacey c]

I grew up a Pastors kid. My dad is more a teacher than a fire and brimstone preacher. But bot what he lacked in church he sure made up for at home. We too had to be the perfect family and perfect kids in public but when we got home all hell would break loose! My dad was not stingy with his whooping board he called "The right hand of Justice".

Our house hold was very very strict, I didn't even know what a video game was until years after they came out, and at that time it was Atari (I just gave my age away )

When I became a teen I rebelled big time. I was uncontrollable, rebellious, and totally rotten to the core!!!! I won't go into all the gory details of what I did before I rededicated my life to the Lord (A girl has gotta have some secrets) But I was 22 and at that time my dad was having services out of his home and me and my first hubby were attending those for awhile. Then we heard a local preacher at a revival we went to and we were blown away by his annointing and knowledge, so we began to go to his church for many years, which was a bone of contention with my father. But you need to go where the Lord leads.

I had so much garbage from my youth that needed to be broke out of my life, my pastor told me once "It's harder to teach the already churched than to raise up new converts"

My dad still has Bible studies from his home, but I must admit I have a hard time going to them because I need more meat than what he teaches or knows.

But the Lord will lead me where He wants me to go.

[Believer1997]

I grew up a Pastors kid. My dad is more a teacher than a fire and brimstone preacher. But bot what he lacked in church he sure made up for at home. We too had to be the perfect family and perfect kids in public but when we got home all hell would break loose! My dad was not stingy with his whooping board he called "The right hand of Justice".

Our house hold was very very strict, I didn't even know what a video game was until years after they came out, and at that time it was Atari (I just gave my age away )

When I became a teen I rebelled big time. I was uncontrollable, rebellious, and totally rotten to the core!!!! I won't go into all the gory details of what I did before I rededicated my life to the Lord (A girl has gotta have some secrets) But I was 22 and at that time my dad was having services out of his home and me and my first hubby were attending those for awhile. Then we heard a local preacher at a revival we went to and we were blown away by his annointing and knowledge, so we began to go to his church for many years, which was a bone of contention with my father. But you need to go where the Lord leads.

I had so much garbage from my youth that needed to be broke out of my life, my pastor told me once "It's harder to teach the already churched than to raise up new converts"

My dad still has Bible studies from his home, but I must admit I have a hard time going to them because I need more meat than what he teaches or knows.

But the Lord will lead me where He wants me to go.

Thanks for sharing that Stacey - God Bless You.

[Believer1997]

I know about that looking perfect thing. At first I really resented it, but since then I've come to the realization (suggested to me by another PW) that the church hired him not me. But I can believe that til the cows come home... I still have to behave.

The best thing for me has been running the sound system, power point and videos which, of course, keeps me in the back of the church. I dress in jeans and feel ok about being myself (nose stud and all). I am really blessed, though. Our congregation is older and conservative about some things but they've totally accepted quirky me!

NEVERtheless, I still feel like I have to hide my depression, doubts, and occasionally feeling bad about not being a more traditional PW.

PW - what denomination are you - if you don't mind my asking? Just keep your focus and be yourself - you'll be fine!!

[BFP]

I grew up a Pastors kid. My dad is more a teacher than a fire and brimstone preacher. But bot what he lacked in church he sure made up for at home. We too had to be the perfect family and perfect kids in public but when we got home all hell would break loose! My dad was not stingy with his whooping board he called "The right hand of Justice".

Our house hold was very very strict, I didn't even know what a video game was until years after they came out, and at that time it was Atari (I just gave my age away )

When I became a teen I rebelled big time. I was uncontrollable, rebellious, and totally rotten to the core!!!! I won't go into all the gory details of what I did before I rededicated my life to the Lord (A girl has gotta have some secrets) But I was 22 and at that time my dad was having services out of his home and me and my first hubby were attending those for awhile. Then we heard a local preacher at a revival we went to and we were blown away by his annointing and knowledge, so we began to go to his church for many years, which was a bone of contention with my father. But you need to go where the Lord leads.

I had so much garbage from my youth that needed to be broke out of my life, my pastor told me once "It's harder to teach the already churched than to raise up new converts"

My dad still has Bible studies from his home, but I must admit I have a hard time going to them because I need more meat than what he teaches or knows.

But the Lord will lead me where He wants me to go.

Stacey, you sound exactly like me! No television, no dances. no sports (because we couldn't possibly have anything happening that wasn't church related) I too rebelled bigtime...alot of secrets here too:>) I think I got a whooping every single day of my childhood. I was also the eldest child, so I had to 'lead by example' and that was really hard to do as a kid. My dad made a habit of making an example out of me. Like you, I cannot deal with listening to my dad preach...I can get a whole lot out of a sermon anywhere else, but my mind completely shuts down when I hear him talk. It is sad, really, but I have a real hard tiem with it. At home, the only time my dad spoke was when he was ramming his version of the gospel down your throat, and there was nothing loving about it.

When I do have a huge problem now though, I will ask him...and hope I don't get a one hour sermon over a simple question:>) LOL! Yup, it was hard being a PK. I have been alot more slack on my kids and have probably gone too far over the other way because the last thing I ever wanted to do was preach at my kids...but you know, I'm starting to see the rewards with them, they see God in a totally different way than I did, they see Him as loving and they TRUST Him...something I never did, until quite recently...although I guess that somehow I did teach it to my kids