taking advantage of

[~Shalhevet~]

At a coffee shop I go to there is always a man there asking for money for coffee/the bus/laundry/etc. I started giving him a few bucks here and there. But now when he asks for money and I give him some, he asks for more. I give him $1, he says "Are you sure you don't have a few more dollars?" I like giving to people in need but I am getting the feeling that I might be taken advantage of. I don't know how to handle this situation. Advice?

[~candice~]

No one can force you to give .

It is the Lord's money, and you are merely a steward of it. Ask Him, 'Father, is this how you want me to spend Your money?'.

Be led by the Spirit.

Is there some long life food you can keep in your handbag? How about typing out directions to the nearest homeless shelter / hostel, along with directions and some scripture, and stapling a muesli bar to it? When he asks, you can give this to him, but point him towards a solution that tries to get him out of his situation, rather than surviving in it.

My two cents (pardon the pun!).

[Guest LadyC]

why don't you just ask him if he's had anything to eat today, or if he's thirsty, and offer to buy him a sandwich and some bottled water or soda? let him know that you probably will no longer provide him with cash, but that you would be happy to help him get nourishment.

[Believer1997]

why don't you just ask him if he's had anything to eat today, or if he's thirsty, and offer to buy him a sandwich and some bottled water or soda? let him know that you probably will no longer provide him with cash, but that you would be happy to help him get nourishment.

Exactly! I would offer to buy something to eat and drink- but not just continue to give him money.

[Guest]

Ask Him For A Buck And Watch His Eyes

[Guest]

At a coffee shop I go to there is always a man there asking for money for coffee/the bus/laundry/etc. I started giving him a few bucks here and there. But now when he asks for money and I give him some, he asks for more. I give him $1, he says "Are you sure you don't have a few more dollars?" I like giving to people in need but I am getting the feeling that I might be taken advantage of. I don't know how to handle this situation. Advice?

I've been homeless, drug addicted, and I can tell you giving money to folks on the street is a bad idea. Chances are good its being used for alcohol, drugs, and other things.

Other have suggested it and its a good idea: give gift certificates from restaurants in the area. Most of the major fast food places have them. The best thing though is offer to buy them something in a nearby place. Take some time out and listen to them, treat 'em like their human, and if the Lord leads leave a tract, or witness to them.

Another tip: If the person is mean, nasty, pushy about getting money the chances are good they are hungry for drugs, not food. Hunger doesn't make people mean spirited and nasty for the most part -- but needing another "fix" does.

Hope this helps.

[2Joyful]

It's a blessing you have this heart of giving to this man. But in all things it must be spirit lead. Even if you buy him food, he's always going to be looking for you to do something for him. If you continue to always have something....he will always expect you to give him something.

[~Shalhevet~]

This man isn't homeless. He is just a friend from the coffee house who doesn't have a lot of money. He has an apartment, is well fed and taken care of. He just doesn't get enough money for coffee apparently. I'm not worried about how he spends the money because I know he buys coffee with it (I'm there when he buys it). He is a good friend and honest and I know he's not into drugs or anything like that.

[Believer1997]

This man isn't homeless. He is just a friend from the coffee house who doesn't have a lot of money. He has an apartment, is well fed and taken care of. He just doesn't get enough money for coffee apparently. I'm not worried about how he spends the money because I know he buys coffee with it (I'm there when he buys it). He is a good friend and honest and I know he's not into drugs or anything like that.

I misread this post then. I thought he was a stranger - you say he's a good friend. I don't have too many good friends who ask me for money who always ask me for money and then act like it's not enough. In this case - I don't know what to tell you to do. If he is not homeless, is well fed and taken care of and is a good friend - I'd probably not be too inclined to keep giving him money; when he apparently doesn't really need it.

[Guest LadyC]

i misunderstood too. that IS a tough situation. is he really a "good friend"? i mean, do YOU really enjoy his company, or do you just tolerate it and feel more annoyed than anything else? because if you really do like him and enjoy his company, offer to buy him a coffee if you feel you can afford it, or just tell him 'hey, i can't do it today.' if he's someone who you kinda think of as more of a pest than a true friend, sit him down and say look man, i don't mind buying you coffee sometimes, but i can't continue to do this everytime i see you.

either way, i think i'd politely ask him to quit asking, and let him know that you'd be happy to OFFER as you can afford to. if he's really a friend to YOU (rather than you just being a friend to him) then he'll understand. frankly, i don't think he's much of a friend to you anyway since he not only asks for money but expresses dissatisfaction when you don't give him more than he expected.