mead Posted October 29, 2010 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 1 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 871 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 17 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/28/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted October 29, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RGR Posted January 22, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Author Share Posted January 22, 2011 Thank you all for the prayers and the advice/replies. I wanted to update everyone as to what was going on. After taking him back time after time, he walked out on her a couple of weeks ago. She swears this time it's over and that she is going to get a divorce. It's a long, complicated story, but please continue praying for this lady. First and foremost, she needs Christ. Also, please pray that (even though she's not a Christian) she will have the intestinal fortitude to go through with the divorce for the sake of herself and her kids. Thank you all again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted January 22, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 539 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,851 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 23,549 Days Won: 226 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted January 22, 2011 If there is a womans refuge anywhere near try to get her to talk to them... they can help her to get through this and give her excellent advice on her rights and how to get help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebekahDavid Posted January 22, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 320 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 3,166 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 23 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted January 22, 2011 praying. love your sister in Christ, Rebekah David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papasangel Posted January 23, 2011 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 70 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,513 Content Per Day: 0.19 Reputation: 39 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/19/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/27/1959 Share Posted January 23, 2011 In your coworkers situation I have several reccommendations. One reason a woman will stay in an abusive relationship is fear of what would happen if she left. Many fear losing their children, losing a means of support and the fear of the unknown. Intervention is needed here. contact your local womens shelter and take her to see a counselor there maybe on a lunch break. They can usually pursuade women more effectively. Next help her prepare an emergency bag. In it have any necessary papers (birth certificates, marriage certificate etc) and cash enough to help support her 3 months or more. Also stash a change of clothing for her and the children. If you can let her leave it at your home in case. Make sure she has a list of numbers of those who are willing to come and help her escape no matter what time day or night. You say she has children, this may sound compelling and it is meant to be. Ask her what would the children do if she was not there to protect them. Then tell her and this is the truth the abuser will change their focus from her when she is no longer among the living to them. Would she wish to have her children in harms way? No mother would. If you can get her to agree to go to the womens shelter then they will take it from there. You will have probally saved her life and her childrens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted January 23, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 539 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,851 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 23,549 Days Won: 226 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted January 23, 2011 also agree a word or phrase that she can use to alert you to an emergancy ... that way if she can get to a phone but is in fear of him she can call for help without him knowing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openly Curious Posted February 15, 2011 Group: Royal Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 55 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,568 Content Per Day: 0.68 Reputation: 770 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/18/2006 Status: Offline Share Posted February 15, 2011 I think that the children should immediately be taken from this home as they are being subjected to violence and to me that is child abuse. As far as the parents are concerned they both should be arrested and charged with child abuse. This may sound harsh but it is not meant to be on my part as it is a means of intervention for the two of them as it will come out that she is a battered women done by her husband. The husband could be charged with a crime against his wife. But it is up to the women to follow through. If the kids are returned to the home I would encourage her to get a restraining order so her husband could not come near the children...........praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUVNCHRIST Posted February 15, 2011 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 18 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 393 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 24 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/22/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/05/1959 Share Posted February 15, 2011 RGR I can truly see the Spirit of the Lord here in you. You have stuck with this lady and that will speak volumns to her as no other can about the strength of the Lords love. I wish I would of had a friend like that during my abusive marriage. The only thing that helped me leave was when he turned his anger on our daughter. I was gone the very next day when he left for work. But I wonder if I would still be there if not for that. I wasn't living for Christ then and really had no friends to help or family to confide in. Just keep reassuring her that you will be there. I know at times it gets frustrating but pray for wisdom and strength and He will give you and her what help is needed. All the advice everyone here has given is right on the spot. May God continue to bless you as you help one of His lost children. Blessings and will be praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt712 Posted February 15, 2011 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 88 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/08/2011 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/06/1981 Share Posted February 15, 2011 (edited) I think that the children should immediately be taken from this home as they are being subjected to violence and to me that is child abuse. As far as the parents are concerned they both should be arrested and charged with child abuse. This may sound harsh but it is not meant to be on my part as it is a means of intervention for the two of them as it will come out that she is a battered women done by her husband. The husband could be charged with a crime against his wife. But it is up to the women to follow through. If the kids are returned to the home I would encourage her to get a restraining order so her husband could not come near the children...........praying Arresting both of them would probably make the situation much more volatile, but I am not going to launch into a long explanation about that because it is unlikely to happen. I don't like to give advice on matters that could place someone in physical danger, so I'll instead present a way to pray/think/feel/pray through the whole situation. 1. Pray- Ask God to be with you in the process of making a decision on how to proceed. 2. Think- What is your role in her life? Identify what position you fill in her life and what position she fills in your life. I am not suggesting that you are any more than co-workers in terms of relationship to one another, but on a spiritual level she is in your life for a purpose. On a psychological level it is easy to get confused by our desire to help; We can forget the potential consequences of good intentions. 3. Feel- Extend your inner sense of self and test your motivations. No matter how altruistic we try to be there is always the chance of falling into the 'hero' trap. Jesus saves lives and souls, we are only channels of God's will. Make certain that there is nothing in your heart but an earnest desire to help her through her suffering. 4. Pray- The most essential step is to pray again for God to guide you, through the feelings in your heart, to do what is best for all concerned. Release any opinions, emotions, desires, etc. (tough to do, I know) and let Him be the one to make the decision. I pray that you can be of service to her and keep yourself safe at the same time. It is possible that she needs to reach an absolute breaking point in her life before she will take steps to change the situation for the better. He will be in her life as long as she allows him to be! My prayers are with you and with her and her children. Edited February 15, 2011 by Matt712 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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