Confused...

[Generation God]

I honestly dont know where to begin, or to what my problem is. I just have so much on my mind right now, that I have to just release it. To start off I just cant seem to get a good connection with God. I go to church, sing and pray and feel great. But when I enter back into the world, it just consumes me. I try to change. Read my bible more, become more of a role model. Try to live my life the best I can for God. But I always fall in the same pit again. And live a sinful, hateful life fro another month or so, before I repeat the above steps. And as the days go by, my stress levels just sky rocket. Schools, Girls, Football, and my rocky relationship with God just raise my stress to the max. Also doupts keep creeping in...To the point whenever I think of God, i think of him as a made up person. Its just so confusing, I dont Know what to do, who to turn to, where to look...

I just feel so helpless. I'm scared suicide thoughts might creep in, because of just how sad and depressed I am for the last few weeks...Im close to my breaking point, and dont know how to react. I really need some advise. Anyways thanks for taking your time to read this.

Edited March 30, 2011 by Generation God

[Isaiah 6:8]

Here is something I wrote a few years ago, hope it helps

The True Meaning Of DTS

DTS What does that really mean?

Does it mean Discipleship Training School? Maybe

But what does it really mean?

There has to be something deeper

Maybe it means Die To Self?

I think that is what the true meaning is

Die To Self what a simple statement

Simple yes, but full of revelation

Simple to understand? Yes

But to follow through with? NO!

Dying To Self

Good Idea But how?

I know what is right

I know what is wrong

I don't do what is right

But I do what is wrong.

Why?

I want to do right

I want to please my Heavenly Father

I want to do what he wants me to do

In the end I want to hear

"Well done, my good and faithful servant"

But I do not do what is right

I do what I know is wrong

I hear His voice warning me

I hear him pleading with me to stop

I hear him crying as I ignore the voice

I know I am hurting the one who Loves me

I feel little or no remorse or regret

Why? Because my spirit is weak, but my flesh is strong

I say I will go to the ends of the world for you

I say I will die for you

I say I will do what ever you want me to

No matter the cost

But it is easier to go to the ends of the earth

It is easy to be brave for God

To stand up in the face of persecution

Yes even to be a Martyr for Christ is easy

But to Die To Self, that is the hard thing

To Die To Self is a daily thing

To die every day is hard

To fast is hard to pray and read the Word is hard

To spend time with God is hard

This all goes against self

How do die to self?

Can you die to self?

Yes you can!

How?

You need to starve self

Do not exercise self

Daily read the Word

Daily spend one on one with the Father

Fast and pray make your spirit strong

Then you will Die To Self

But do not stop feeding you spirit

Because if you do not you will not die to self

If you do keep your spirit strong,

You will Die To Self

-Isaiah 6:8-This poem or series of thoughts, what ever you want to call it was inspired after I had stumbled after my Discipleship Training School in 1998.

[wyguy]

I honestly dont know where to begin, or to what my problem is. I just have so much on my mind right now, that I have to just release it. To start off I just cant seem to get a good connection with God. I go to church, sing and pray and feel great. But when I enter back into the world, it just consumes me. I try to change. Read my bible more, become more of a role model. Try to live my life the best I can for God. But I always fall in the same pit again. And live a sinful, hateful life fro another month or so, before I repeat the above steps. And as the days go by, my stress levels just sky rocket. Schools, Girls, Football, and my rocky relationship with God just raise my stress to the max. Also doupts keep creeping in...To the point whenever I think of God, i think of him as a made up person. Its just so confusing, I dont Know what to do, who to turn to, where to look...

I just feel so helpless. I'm scared suicide thoughts might creep in, because of just how sad and depressed I am for the last few weeks...Im close to my breaking point, and dont know how to react. I really need some advise. Anyways thanks for taking your time to read this.

I see two issues here that may be true.

1) You are working to be acceptable to God.

2) You might be a false convert.

We'll start with #2 first.

Have you truly repented and placed your faith in Jesus alone to save you? Do you know just what you are repenting from and why Jesus had to die? Please answer in detail and we can go from there.

As for #1, if you are indeed saved, and are working so hard to be acceptable to God, STOP IT! God has forgiven you of ALL of your sins because of the blood of Jesus. You are completely acceptable to God, and there is NO condemnation for you whatsoever. Good works are the result of salvation. They don't save you or keep you saved. REST in the knowledge that you are saved and can never be lost. That is where the joy comes from.

Waiting for your response....

[Generation God]

Have you truly repented and placed your faith in Jesus alone to save you? Do you know just what you are repenting from and why Jesus had to die? Please answer in detail and we can go from there.

As for #1, if you are indeed saved, and are working so hard to be acceptable to God, STOP IT! God has forgiven you of ALL of your sins because of the blood of Jesus. You are completely acceptable to God, and there is NO condemnation for you whatsoever. Good works are the result of salvation. They don't save you or keep you saved. REST in the knowledge that you are saved and can never be lost. That is where the joy comes from.

Waiting for your response....

Thanks for your replies.

Yes I have. I have truely repented and placed faith in Jesus Christ to save me. I know I was repenting from my sins of this world, and Jesus had to die because of my sins. Without Jesus, I would be damned because im evil, and sinful, which seperates me from God. He had to die so I can be saved from damnation.

I think your not understanding my problems. And its most likely my fault for not making it clearer, as Im just so frustrated right now. I know im saved. Because I know he has been with me ever since I got saved. Its hard to explain. My problem is that Im am so stressed out. More stressed out then I ever been. And its scary. And Because of this stress Im growing to be more distant from God then ever, and fell endless doupts everytime I try to pray or come close to him. I feel like a totally different person. And im confused and dont know what to do. Hope this clears it up better.

[wyguy]

My problem is that Im am so stressed out. More stressed out then I ever been. And its scary. And Because of this stress Im growing to be more distant from God then ever, and fell endless doupts everytime I try to pray or come close to him. I feel like a totally different person. And im confused and dont know what to do. Hope this clears it up better.

Just know that God is not drawing away from you. Your problem is you are leaning upon your "feelings." Don't do that. Feelings change and have nothing to do with God's promises to you. God hears your prayers in spite of whether or not your feel He is listening. And don't be so stressed out by doubts. Jesus never rebuked Thomas for honest doubting, and He won't rebuke you for it. Doubts lead us to search the Scriptures and seek other believers for help. (Like you are doing right now ). Doubts help us to grow. Without doubts, we would never question, without questions, we would never look for answers.

You are not alone in this. Every single believer has doubts. Go to the Lord with your doubts and ask Him to direct you for the answers.

Praying for you!

[Isaiah 6:8]

Have you truly repented and placed your faith in Jesus alone to save you? Do you know just what you are repenting from and why Jesus had to die? Please answer in detail and we can go from there.

As for #1, if you are indeed saved, and are working so hard to be acceptable to God, STOP IT! God has forgiven you of ALL of your sins because of the blood of Jesus. You are completely acceptable to God, and there is NO condemnation for you whatsoever. Good works are the result of salvation. They don't save you or keep you saved. REST in the knowledge that you are saved and can never be lost. That is where the joy comes from.

Waiting for your response....

Thanks for your replies.

Yes I have. I have truely repented and placed faith in Jesus Christ to save me. I know I was repenting from my sins of this world, and Jesus had to die because of my sins. Without Jesus, I would be damned because im evil, and sinful, which seperates me from God. He had to die so I can be saved from damnation.

I think your not understanding my problems. And its most likely my fault for not making it clearer, as Im just so frustrated right now. I know im saved. Because I know he has been with me ever since I got saved. Its hard to explain. My problem is that Im am so stressed out. More stressed out then I ever been. And its scary. And Because of this stress Im growing to be more distant from God then ever, and fell endless doupts everytime I try to pray or come close to him. I feel like a totally different person. And im confused and dont know what to do. Hope this clears it up better.

It seems to me, and you can correct me if I am wrong, but it feels like part of your stress is not feeling the "emotions" anymore., thats where simple obedience takes over. Remember you show him your love, not buy mushy gushy words, and emotions but by obedience.

Also I would say stop trying so hard. The walk with the Lord does sometimes include wilderness times, where God seems distant, but yet he is always there. You just need to walk through and don't let go and don't give in to emotion but instead, just rest knowing that no matter what he has your back. Just wait on the Lord.

Lets look at Elijah

First lets look at the day he had.

He calls down fire from heaven,

Has all the false prophets of Baal Killed

Calls rain from heaven

then beats the kings chariot on foot back to the city.

You would think he would be happy.

but lets look at his response!

1 Kings 19

Elijah Escapes from Jezebel

1 And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword. 2 Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying,

[Generation God]

Thanks guy really cleared some things up. I understand what you guys mean by "feelings". I know I shouldnt based my faith around them nor seek them. But I still am not sure what to now...

[enoob57]

My problem is that Im am so stressed out. More stressed out then I ever been. And its scary. And Because of this stress Im growing to be more distant from God then ever, and fell endless doupts everytime I try to pray or come close to him. I feel like a totally different person. And im confused and dont know what to do. Hope this clears it up better.

Just know that God is not drawing away from you. Your problem is you are leaning upon your "feelings." Don't do that. Feelings change and have nothing to do with God's promises to you. God hears your prayers in spite of whether or not your feel He is listening. And don't be so stressed out by doubts. Jesus never rebuked Thomas for honest doubting, and He won't rebuke you for it. Doubts lead us to search the Scriptures and seek other believers for help. (Like you are doing right now ). Doubts help us to grow. Without doubts, we would never question, without questions, we would never look for answers.

You are not alone in this. Every single believer has doubts. Go to the Lord with your doubts and ask Him to direct you for the answers.

Praying for you!

Just one insertion point... Knowing God is only good and perfect Being in all of eternity- I always approach whatever as my lack or inconsistency with His Word! It shortuts a lot of delusions to other non probable reasons such as others and God...

[Believer112]

Thanks guy really cleared some things up. I understand what you guys mean by "feelings". I know I shouldnt based my faith around them nor seek them. But I still am not sure what to now...

Dude, God loves you! He loved you as a sinner and now your a Christian He loves you much more! Here is a good mp3 on God's unconditional love

My link

Hope this helps. God Bless you

[Guest]

I honestly don't know where to begin, or to what my problem is. I just have so much on my mind right now, that I have to just release it. To start off I just cant seem to get a good connection with God. I go to church, sing and pray and feel great. But when I enter back into the world, it just consumes me. I try to change. Read my bible more, become more of a role model. Try to live my life the best I can for God. But I always fall in the same pit again. And live a sinful, hateful life fro another month or so, before I repeat the above steps. And as the days go by, my stress levels just sky rocket. Schools, Girls, Football, and my rocky relationship with God just raise my stress to the max. Also doubts keep creeping in...To the point whenever I think of God, i think of him as a made up person. Its just so confusing, I don't Know what to do, who to turn to, where to look...

I just feel so helpless. I'm scared suicide thoughts might creep in, because of just how sad and depressed I am for the last few weeks...I'm close to my breaking point, and don't know how to react. I really need some advise. Anyways thanks for taking your time to read this.

Trust

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24

Head Over Heels In Love

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: Deuteronomy 6:4-6

Trust

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

Eat

Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts. Jeremiah 15:16

And Be Blessed Beloved Of The KING

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:

The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

____________

Praying~!