Safeguarding the Internet

[rejoicevermore]

Marriage & FamilyJuly - 2004Certified --Michael Pearl

My son-in-law Gabriel and my daughter Rebekah came for a two-week visit. At my request, Gabriel examined the web history on my computer to confirm that I have not visited any porno-sites since the last time he was here.

I never erase my web history. Someone else does it for me after examining it. Someone may ask,

[Orr v'emet]

okay...

A couple comments:

1) Not all teenage boys have a desire to look at porn on the internet. There are God-fearing young men out there who are not tempted by such things.

2) Looking at porn on the internet is not just a problem for men. Women are sexual beings too and can be tempted in the same way.

3) Saying not to trust your husband is rediculous. I choose not to go behind my husband to see anything that he has done. He has to answer to God one day and what God will do to punish him is far worse than anything I could do to make him feel guilty or what ever. I know someone who says "I can make you feel guilty but only the Holy Spirit can convict". When someone feels guilty, it's usually because they got caught. They are more susceptible to find other ways to continue the behavior without getting caught. If the Holy Spirit convicts on the otherhand there is a greater chance for repentance and changed behavior.

Sorry about the preaching!

[Az_]

I have to say this thread troubles me a bit. Imagine if a salesman walked up to you and proclaimed that they were honest. It creates a question in your mind about why they felt they had to proclaim this. Your insistance that others note you'r absolute temperance towards porn creates just such a question. Most people really aren't concerned about porn and thus your statement begs the question why were you worried about it.

Its the old Lady McBeth issue. You seem to be protesting too much. What this indicates is that you may be obsessing on the matter. If its no problem then there is no need to mention it. Do you take the time to show your friends and relatives that there are no bodies buried in your basement?

What I am leading up to is it seems as if you are a bit to focused on porn. Although you do not seek it out it seems to have a hold on you none the less.

As to the net and security I can atest that it is a dangerous place. I am a network security professional. The idea that any parent would let a child run loose on the net unattended is abuse IMO. Just as you would not let your child play on the highway you should not let them run loose on the so called information superhighway.

The concern is not so much about their minds. Although it is your job as a parent to guide their growth they are going to discover things that you have not prepared them for. But the net offers many other dangers to someone not ready for it. A child could easily find their way to a gambling site or a hacker site and wind you up in a world of trouble. They could infect your computer by trapsing through download sites.

A child is your responsibility. Technology offers many devices that seem to be great baby sitters. But this is simply abandoning your responsibility. It is your job to guide them into becoming people that can make good descisions. Do not abandon that responsibility for the sake of convieniance.

[Kabowd]

I have to say this thread troubles me a bit. Imagine if a salesman walked up to you and proclaimed that they were honest. It creates a question in your mind about why they felt they had to proclaim this. Your insistance that others note you'r absolute temperance towards porn creates just such a question. Most people really aren't concerned about porn and thus your statement begs the question why were you worried about it.

Its the old Lady McBeth issue. You seem to be protesting too much. What this indicates is that you may be obsessing on the matter. If its no problem then there is no need to mention it. Do you take the time to show your friends and relatives that there are no bodies buried in your basement?

What I am leading up to is it seems as if you are a bit to focused on porn. Although you do not seek it out it seems to have a hold on you none the less.

I agree. I mean, I believe in accountability..and it's a good idea to have someone close in relationship with you to hold you accountable. However, this person seems to have taken accountability to the extreme...relying on his son-in-law to "police" his behavior in order to "prove" to his wife that he's clean. Either his wife is extremely insecure and distrusting, or he has bigger problems than porn. As a believer, the Holy Spirit dwells inside of us. If you can't trust the Holy Spirit to convict you and correct you...and then obey (without someone spying on you)..then you have a huge problem.

Personally, I think this person needs to work on their marriage and growing in their relationship with Christ. If you are in a thriving, loving relationship (with God or anyone else) you will be compelled to honor that person in your actions. You shouldn't need forced. If you require being monitored to live in obedience, the problem isn't in your computer or what you view..it's in your heart.

[pretzelperson]

God keeps a file of all web searches. Nothing is ever erased, except your entire past sins history when you got saved. After that, in the day of the judgment seat of Christ, you will give an account for every deed done in your body (II Cor. 5:10). No amount of confession and sorrow will prevent you from having to answer for every deed since you got saved.

I don't want a god like this. I want a God who removes my sin from me--as far as the east is from the west. This is not love or forgiveness. This is some sick experiment of some "higher power" to torment man and coerce him into a perverted state of submission. There is no freedom in this. If this is how god is then I don't want him. I can't live with the guilt. I am saved, but I still sin. I continue to sin. I can't stop. I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I want to do.

I would like to suggest that thought life and "fantasy" can be as damaging as what is actually viewed. My bet is that this

Edited October 6, 2004 by pretzelperson

[darkest_red]

If it takes all that for your wife to trust you, what kind of relationship do you have?

Love isnt about checking up on people to make sure they're not doing something they shouldn't have. I never have to prove myself to the people closest to me, they love me and they know what I'm like. They dont feel the need to check up on me because they love me and trust me to the full. Isn't trust a big part of love? Or is that just my understanding?