Guidance needed

[Guest Gromore]

I've been a Christian for 20+ years, am a minister of a church with my husband, have been in the ministry for 6 years.

We have been at this present church since June this year, and there are so many people with messed up lives.

We have a lady who needs healing - she has been abused by her husband the last few years and this year re-married. She's having flashbacks of the time with her husband and cannot get rid of the feelings of rejection, guilt etc., etc. When she has these flashbacks she feels she cannot escape and the only way is suicide.

She, and her new husband are christians who have I would say moved along more than the church in general. They believe that she needs deliverance healing and not counselling.

I feel that perhaps they are right, but our experience with this is some 10 years ago and then we had support from like minded Christians. If we were to try to explain and ask christians from our church I don't think many would understand.

So I need some help, guidance and support.

Has anyone any suggestions as to what we do next?

[Guest mousiegurl69]

I've been a Christian for 20+ years, am a minister of a church with my husband, have been in the ministry for 6 years.

We have been at this present church since June this year, and there are so many people with messed up lives.

We have a lady who needs healing - she has been abused by her husband the last few years and this year re-married.  She's having flashbacks of the time with her husband and cannot get rid of the feelings of rejection, guilt etc., etc.  When she has these flashbacks she feels she cannot escape and the only way is suicide.

She, and her new husband are christians who have I would say moved along more than the church in general.  They believe that she needs deliverance healing and not counselling.

I feel that perhaps they are right, but our experience with this is some 10 years ago and then we had support from like minded Christians.  If we were to try to explain and ask christians from our church I don't think many would understand.

So I need some help, guidance and support.

Has anyone any suggestions as to what we do next?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Gromore:

One thing I'd suggest is not to fret if your not comfortable with those in your church. Surely there are some and be that the case God will certainly guide you. Be open to his lead outside your immidiate church family. If you know of others that could help you and support in a more direct way, then don't hesitate to think of doing so.

In this case I think deliverance is needed but both husband and wife need to be prepared. That is their hearts need to be ready for such deliverance or what vexes this woman could come back on her with a vengance. Make sure they are ready for this release. In my own experiance I've seen people who seemed ready and even said they were but they couldn't receive the full healing because they hadn't yet reached the breaking point. I pray this lady and her hubby have reached this point already.

This is where I think counselling for this preparation is needed. God will speak to your spirit and let you know when the time is right and you most absolutely need others to back you in prayer and moral support. I've known friends who do this kind of thing and those demons can take the energy out of you to. Don't rush into anything and be sure that your heart and mind are covered before you excorsize those spirits, as well as those who are with you while doing so. I'm sure you knew allot of this already and I'll be praying for you to.

Mousiegurl:)

[vitality22004]

I have a counselling practice and I have encountered a similar attitude from Christians and the leadership in the church due to a lack of understanding. The woman you described is having post-traumatic symptoms from the years of abuse and does need healing. I have found that the key to healing is forgiveness.

During your counselling sessions, explain to her that God is allowing her to experience these flashbacks so that He might heal her. As she experiences them, she needs to remember the event, choose to forgive and release her abuser and pray for him. This should happen incident by incident as she recalls them.

Recalling for the sake of dwelling in the past is not God's way. When we forgive, we forget in Him. This is not denial of reality but true liberty that only comes from Jesus.

We don't have the strength to do it on our own but with His grace we can. Scripture says that the blood of Jesus is able to erase our conscience from the memory of dead works...memories that don't have the ability to give life.

This woman needs to know that the memories are mere shadows with no power to hurt her anymore. Through the blood of Jesus, her memory can be wiped clean of these events once she's forgiven and released the abuser.

The key to this is being willing to no longer live as one who was abused. She has to give up her victim status and allow God to remove it from her memory. When the blood of Jesus cleanses, there is restoration to the former state before sin: e.g. a virgin who has had premarital sex who truly repents and asks God for forgiveness and does an 180 degree turn in their lives, who is cleansed by the blood of Jesus, is looked on by God as a virgin again. Such is the power in the Blood and the work of Calvary.

The same applies with the healing of the memories: once she releases them, she doesn't own them or remember them and rather than being known as she who was abused, she can rejoice as a King's daughter.

God Bless

[jesussaves]

When a born again Christian has spiritual problems of such magnitude, you can rest assured it is NOT the Lord, but it is just the devil trying to bring in discouragement, depression and confusion.

Ever heard the term that the Bible has the answer for everything we face? That term it an absolute that every Christian can safely trust in. Before you do anything else, ask the Lord to give you wisdom. Ask Him to reveal to you what He would have you do in regards to any type of counseling. Ask Him to show you any special need she might have and how to best guide her into studying out the scriptures she needs to read. Pray the Holy Ghost will bring them to her rememberance like Jesus said. He will lift up that standard against any plan of the enemy. Ask Him to help you and your church to have the compassion of Jesus and feel her need, her pain. Your loving kindness will be a healing balm from the hand of the Lord.

She needs anointed hands to pray over her and speak deep healing to a heart that only Jesus can touch. He says in His word that He is near to those of a broken heart. He also says that He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for sorrow and peace for despair.

He has not given us the spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind. When anything other than that tries to make a strong hold in our lives we need to take out our sword and stand on His promises, keeping that shield of faith before us. She needs to know these are the promises of God to His children.

FORGETTING THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE BEHIND ...AND PRESSING TOWARD THE MARK FOR THE PRIZE OF THE HIGH CALLING OF GOD IN CHRIST JESUS.

Philippians 3:13-14

We have to be active in the forgetting process. We have to speak the above scripture over our life whenever the past tries to bring us low. We have to thank the Lord for His promise to us and praise Him, for His mercies are new every morning. We have to not allow the devil to hold us captive by heaping false guilt on us, generated by being abused in the past; but speak the word of God over our life. The Lord says we are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. The word says we are MORE than conquorers through Christ Jesus. The word says we are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a peculiar people who shows forth the praises of the Lord. We have to realize that there will be times that we have to grab hold of what the Lord has already done for us, and what He says about us. Believe He will never fail us in any area of our life, but He will come through and that precious joy WILL come in the morning...we have to stand on that and encourage ourselves in the Lord....just like David did and all the other saints of God before us and with us and after us.

Then this dear woman will need loving and faithful Christians to affirm their support and love, and hold her up in prayer as they watch her blossom into a joyful and radiant daughter of the Lord.

Jesus is the answer...it is all in His word...there was never a book written that has all the answers except this one...the B-I-B-L-E.

[Leonard]

May I suggest that you ask them to prepare themselves (and perhaps you will want to take the same action) with a fast of just 2 or 3 days. At the end of that fast, the 4 of you ought to get together for a solid season of prayer, and do whatever the Spirit leads you to do during that prayer time!

[Guest Gromore]

All of your replies are so helpful. Thank you. Please pray for us as we seek to minister to this woman and her husband.

Will keep you informed, and perhaps seek more help as and when.

[Refuge]

Please give this time. She has experienced abuse and there are no quick fixes. We cannot, and are not able to 'speak any words' over this that will change this. Her mind and emotions are still at the place of abuse and she will be lead out of this through care, love, prayer, forgiveness and time. There is a heart and soul that is in need of healing. He is the Physician.

[Guest Gromore]

Please give this time. She has experienced abuse and there are no quick fixes. We cannot, and are not able to 'speak any words' over this that will change this. Her mind and emotions are still at the place of abuse and she will be lead out of this through care, love, prayer, forgiveness and time. There is a heart and soul that is in need of healing. He is the Physician.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you. That is my concern too. I know he will heal in his time.

[vitality22004]

I just want to encourage you to keep standing alongside this lady while she deals with her past. I can't tell you what a difference it makes for someone in her situation to have someone firstly believe her and secondly support her.

God Bless

[Guest Gromore]

I just want to encourage you to keep standing alongside this lady while she deals with her past. I can't tell you what a difference it makes for someone in her situation to have someone firstly believe her and secondly support her.

God Bless

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you for your encouragement.